Release: May 17, 2016
Tagline: The gloves are off... the long sparkly ones anyway. Which Disney Cinderella is the best one?
- Best Prince: Newer live-action version
- Best Villain: Original animated version
- Best Support: Newer live-action version
- Best Story: Tie
- Best Cinderella: Original animated version
- Winner: Ever After
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Benny's list of "People Who Dun Fucked Up", which, in addition to Hyper Fangirl, includes Fidel Castro, Kim Jong-Un and the cast of Friends.
- Call-Back: After the Critic intimidates Hyper Fangirl into giving the win for the best Wicked Stepmother to the animated version by showing her a shot of her signature Death Glare, the Fangirl retaliates by showing the Critic a shot of Don Bluth's death glare.
- Cock Fight: Between Benny and Devil Boner.
- Green-Eyed Monster/Crazy Jealous Guy: Benny is... not happy that Hyper Fangirl is hanging out with Devil Boner.
- Sickeningly Sweethearts: Devil Boner and Hyper Fangirl are overly affectionate towards each other and call each other cutesy names, much to the Critic's chagrin.
- Take a Third Option: For the first time ever, an "Old vs. New" entry results in a tie, so the Critic asks Benny and the Boner which version of Cinderella they think is better. Neither, they decide; the best version is Ever After, which the Critic agrees with and thus gives the win to that movie instead.
- Too Soon: In-universe; due to the recent death of the musician Prince, Hyper calls out the Critic with this exact phrase when he says "Sometimes, a prince leaves no impact on you whatsoever" and later when he says that the one thing the animated prince has that the live-action one lacks is "a shit ton of eyeliner".
- The Woobie: In-universe: Hyper calls Devil Boner one after he gives her a Jamaican Ratsa hat as a souvenir from Jamaica.
"Leave the sewing to the women!"