We open on the couch with all of the Loud kids, plus Ronnie Anne, and the living room is decorated for Christmas. They will be reading a Christmas story, Secret Santa, by the author of someone who wrote a story about Lincoln dying, and featuring Ronnie Anne.
The fanfic begins on December 23rd, with everyone in Royal Woods happily anticipating Christmas on a snowy day. Lincoln is impressed with the writing. In the story, Lincoln and Ronnie Anne are hanging out, and the narrator notes that their relationship is complicated, while the real Lincoln and Ronnie Anne are pleased that it's acknowledging they're not together. Then, it's revealed that Lincoln is a year older in this fanfic and their third kiss happened on his birthday.
Fanfic Ronnie Anne wants to go to the arcade to play a video game focusing on killing zombies. The real Leni thinks that is mean and there is debate over whether zombies have feelings, then Lucy says that she'd rather make zombies her slaves. Fanfic Lincoln asks Ronnie Anne for help (and the real Ronnie Anne remembers a time he needed her help opening a peanut butter jar) and explains that every year, the Loud kids play Secret Santa but open their presents a day early, then try to guess who the Secret Santa was, and if they lose, they have to eat lunch with the Secret Santa. The real Ronnie Anne wonders what would happen if fanfic Lily guessed wrong, then the real Lily finds some money.
In the story, Lincoln and Ronnie Anne go to the mall, meanwhile the real Leni complains of grabby Christmas customers. Fanfic Lincoln gets annoyed at Ronnie Anne for interrupting and the real Ronnie Anne tries to apologise, but interrupts again. Back in the story, he remembers disappointing Lynn and the real Lynn teases the real Lincoln. Fanfic Lincoln explains that he wants a girl's perspective on what his sisters might like, even though, as Ronnie Anne in the fanfic and Luan in reality point out, not all girls like the same things.
Fanfic Lincoln reveals that he's making a list and decides on a flashing rattle for Lily, a frame of insects for Lisa (which the real Lisa finds interesting even though, as she points out, she's mainly into chemistry and engineering), a butterfly-shaped hairpin for Lola, a new utility belt for Lana, an Edgar Allan Poe book, black notebook, and skull-shaped pen for Lucy (the real Lucy paraphrases the Raven poem), a waterproof stopwatch and possibly a gift card for Lynn, a cop costume for Luan, a record for Luna, some turquoise fabric for Leni, and a(nother) charger for Lori.
After the shopping spree, it is now evening, and the two go home buying some three-hour-lasting chewing gum. Then they accidentally hold hands and decide to keep doing it, convincing themselves it doesn't mean anything. Fanfic Ronnie Anne wants to hang out the next day after dinner and he excepts, with both feeling a bit awkward.
That evening in the story, the kids play Secret Santa, but Lincoln accidentally throws out the piece of paper with his gum. He goes back to check the tree, only to find that the only sister who gave him a gift was his Secret Santa. He considers buying chocolate, but decides that wouldn't be good enough (the real Lori and Lola disagree) and realises that he can afford to buy everyone a gift, but he wants an Ace Savvy costume and a phone. However, seeing the family portrait, he decides to buy his sisters' presents, making some of the sisters tear up a bit.
When the sisters notice that they have extra presents, fanfic Lincoln explains, but then they realise that all the sisters have two presents, meaning he drew out his own name. However, he still has a present, which, according to Lucy, was delivered by someone who wasn't the mail. He opens his present, and it's Bobby's "male perfume". It turns out the gift is from Ronnie Anne, who he forgot to meet and can't afford to buy a gift for. He dashes out frantically and meets up with her, then confesses. Fanfic Luan comes up and shows them that the rest of the sisters are planning an elaborate dinner for the two. During the dinner, they get all mushy and eventually agree to start dating. The real Lincoln and Ronnie Anne also agree to start dating, and they kiss.
This causes all the girls to celebrate, with some even appearing like they've gone insane: Lori and Leni are hugging each other squealing, Luna is playing guitar, Luan is doing the choreography from "Make 'Em Laugh" at triple speed, Lynn is banging herself in the head with a barbell, Lucy is levitating while her head spins 360 degrees, the twins are playing leapfrog, Lisa is standing still with her eyes displaying the blue screen of death, and Lily is literally bouncing off the wall. They try to get on with the story too, but Grammy has also gone insane and is spouting nursery rhymes. Lori and Leni's screaming then becomes so high, only Charles can hear it.
After fifteen minutes, the girls and Grammy have returned to normal, although the girls look a bit sleepy. The fanfic ends, as does the episode.
This episode provides examples of
- Age Lift: Fanfic Lincoln is twelve in this story, which was written before Season 6.
- Christmas Episode:
- The fanfic is about Christmas presents.
- The episode proper appears to be set on or around Christmas, seeing as there are Christmas decorations everywhere.
- Continuity Nod:
- Lincoln remembers the two times he kissed Ronnie Anne (in "Heavy Meddle" and "Save the Date").
- Luan says, "Shouldn't you know by now that not all girls like the same things?", which is a reference to "Lincoln Loud: Girl Guru", where that was the moral.
- Crazy-Prepared: Lana is wearing her utility belt in this episode just in case something needs fixing.
- Death Fic: Discussed when Lucy says that the author apparently wrote a story about Lincoln dying.
- Dreaming of a White Christmas: The fanfiction is set around the Christmas period, and it's snowing.
- Fainting: Discussed when Lincoln says that if he and Ronnie Anne kissed on the lips, he'd probably "keel over and faint from [her] hot dog breath".
- Girls Have Cooties: Apparently, fanfic Lincoln used to find girls disgusting.
- Holding Hands: In the fanfic, Lincoln and Ronnie Anne start holding hands by accident and decide to keep doing it.
- Jaw Drop: Fanfic Lincoln's jaw drops "almost to the floor" after finding out that he drew his own name.
- Just Friends: Lincoln and Ronnie Anne try to say that they're platonic friends, but by the end of the episode, they're together.
- Mistakes Are Not the End of the World: Ronnie Anne says that, since everyone makes mistakes, she'd forgive Lincoln if the events of the story really happened.
- Officer O'Hara: Luan does an Irish cop impression as a gag, prompting Lori to say that that stereotype would probably be considered insensitive in this day and age.
- Platonic Kissing: Fanfic Lincoln and Ronnie Anne kiss three times before they become an item.
- Pun: Luan jokes that thirty dollars is such a low price for a cop costume, that it's criminal.
- Shout-Out:
- Leni references "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" by saying that she cries and pouts while frustrated and doesn't care that Santa watches her sleep, then wonders why he does that.
- Fanfic Lucy is given a book by Edgar Allan Poe, prompting the real Lucy to say "Quoth the raven, 'wicked'."
- The fic features some gum that lasts for three hours and Lincoln wonders if Willy Wonka made it.
- Luan celebrates by doing a sped-up version of "Make 'Em Laugh" from Singin' in the Rain.
- When Grammy glitches out, he sings "This Old Man", "There Were Ten in the Bed", "There's a Hole in the Bucket", "La Kova Shelie Shalosh Pinot" and "The Grand Old Duke of York".
- The Grand Old Duke of York part has a reference to Caddicarus' first Nursery Rhymes VHS video: "...and when they were only halfway up, they got into a rocket ship and-."
- Sophisticated as Hell: Lucy says, "Quoth the raven, 'wicked'."
- Tempting Fate: Lincoln and Ronnie Anne try to say they will never get together, but they hook up by the end of the fanfic.
- Wingding Eyes: When Lisa is shocked by Lincoln and Ronnie Anne hooking up, her eyes display the Blue Screen of Death.
