Title: Dance, Diane, Dance
Directed by: James Burrows
Written by: David Angell
Air Date: January 8, 1987
Previous: Dance, Diane, Dance
Next: Diamond Sam
Guest Starring: Tom Troupe, Michael Keys Hall
"Chambers vs. Malone" is the 13th episode of the fifth season of Cheers.
Diane comes into the bar with more than her usual chipper smugness, humming the "Wedding March" as she flits around. Although Sam desperately tries to get her to not tell him why, she does: she is convinced that he is finally going to propose to her. Specifically, she woke up with the feeling that he was going to propose to her that very day.
Sam, who has been refusing to propose to her ever since she turned him down in Season 5 premiere "The Proposal", mocks her certainty. Carla, however, takes this news much more seriously, to the point that she tries to get Sam to leave the bar before Diane's premonition can come true.
At closing time Sam, completely fed up with Diane's constant needling about proposing again, tells Diane to stick around so they can talk alone. Sam sits her down, looks her in the eye, and tells her that he is not, repeat not, going to ask her to marry him again. It's not funny or cute anymore, and it's got to stop. Finally the truth sinks in, and Diane starts to cry...and that's what gets Sam to propose to her. And she turns him down. Again.
An infuriated Sam chases Diane out of the bar. Soon after, he's arrested and charged with assault.
Tropes:
- Courtroom Episode: Sam winds up in court on assault charges after chasing Diane for six blocks—he didn't strike her, in fact he gave up on the chase and headed back to the bar, but she finally tripped and fell and had Sam arrested. He has to propose to her to avoid a criminal trial that, honestly, Diane has no hope of winning.
- Deadpan Snarker:
- The judge, which given the insanity he's forced to deal with isn't that surprising.
- Sam, after everything's wound down.
- Imagine Spot: Diane's dissolving in tears makes Sam get down on a knee and propose to her. After she refuses again, Sam's eyes bug wide with rage, and there's an immediate cut to an imagine spot where he is being led down a Death Row hallway to the electric chair, where he'll be executed for killing Diane.Sam: I just had a flash that I got the electric chair for killing you.
Diane: Well, that's silly. Massachusetts doesn't have the death penalty.
Sam: (Psychotic Smirk) What?
Diane: (Oh, Crap!) Uh... nothing. Nothing at all.
Sam: No death penalty, huh?
Diane: No, not at present, but I'm-I'm sure they're... going to reinstate it. In fact, I'm on my way to... campaign for it at this very moment. Excuse me.
(Diane flees with Sam in hot pursuit) - Lohengrin and Mendelssohn: Diane going around the bar humming Mendelssohn (that is, the Wedding March) is what starts the whole chain of events.
- The Masochism Tango: Sam and Diane's reaches its peak right here, adequately summed up by Sam. Diane insists he propose to her. He does, she refuses. He gets angry, she takes him to court and he has to propose to her or go to jail.
- Never My Fault: Diane, fleeing from Sam's anger, takes him to court rather than admit she just tripped and fell, when Sam had almost immediately given up chasing after her.
- Series Continuity Error: Tom Babson, the lawyer, is played by Thomas W. Babson. In another episode he was Tom Sherry, and in another episode he was a guy named Barney. This could be a case of You Look Familiar, except it's the same character—in "Bar Bet", the episode that calls him Tom Sherry, he's a law student who has repeatedly failed his bar exam. In this episode, Tom finally passes the bar after many tries, and defends Sam as his first case.
- Tears of Joy: Diane breaks down crying when Sam finally asks her to marry him for real.
- Versus Title: "Chambers vs. Malone"
- Wounded Gazelle Gambit: Diane turns up in court claiming Sam attacked her, with neck brace and a cane. Once she's gotten Sam's proposal, she reveals she didn't need either. Sam just smiles with an "I Knew It!" look on his face.
