The Second Oldest Question is a Fifth Doctor and Nyssa story, set between Time-Flight and Arc of Infinity. Written by Carrie Thompson, and read by Sarah Sutton.
The oldest question in the universe has haunted the Doctor ever since he left Gallifrey. A question that only a few know the answer to. A question that must never be answered.
This isn’t the story of that question. This is the story of the second oldest question. A question that has plagued humanity for millennia. A question which determines whether someone can live or die. A question that must be answered.
The Second Oldest Question contains examples of:
- Been There, Shaped History: The case concludes with the implication that the Doctor and Nyssa have just created the concept of "community service".
- Bizarre Alien Biology: Rolph is an outwardly Human Alien, but his species have the ability to projectile vomit a sticky, black substance when threatened that acts as a powerful antiseptic.
- Cannot Tell a Lie: The alien species discussed here are obsessed with both physical and mental cleanliness, and cannot abide lying as a guilty conscience makes them "dirty".
- Chicken Joke: It turns out to be the titular question, and a bit of a Driving Question for the plot at that.
- Fate Worse than Death: Rolph's final sentence is to be made to tend to the village chickens even though he finds them disgusting.
- Growling Gut: Rolph's is apparently loud enough to wake him up.
- Insane Troll Logic: Shared among the entire village of Snittlegarth, such that they readily believe a chicken is capable of not only arson, but planning to commit arson.
- Kangaroo Court: The citizens think nothing of putting a chicken on trial for arson, so their prosecution tactics were hardly likely to be reasonable.
- Neat Freak: Rolph comes from an entire race of them.
- Omniglot: The Doctor speaks chicken. Naturally.
- Real Men Eat Meat: The villagers in 1357 certainly think so, and look down on Rolph because he doesn't eat animals.
- Stress Vomit: A defining trait of the aliens in the story. Their vomit is antiseptic.
- Weirdness Censor: When Rolph suddenly unleashes a torrent of black vomit mid-sentence, the townsfolk merely think this is hilariously typical of the hapless village idiot, rather than anything unnatural.