Title: Massage Parlor
Directed by: Dennis Steinmetz
Written by: Tony Sheehan
Air Date: February 19, 1976
Previous: Block Party
Next: The Psychiatrist
Guest Starring: Linda Lavin, Kenneth Tigar, Florence Halop, Charles Frank
"Massage Parlor" is the 19th episode of the second season of Barney Miller.
The detectives are getting a lot of complaints from local residents about all the illicit massage parlors in the neighborhood. They are trying to bust them, but their undercover missions aren't going well: Wojo started giggling, Harris didn't get any sexual offers (he thinks it's because he's too handsome), and Fish couldn't get anyone to do anything to him, much to his chagrin.
Detective Wentworth suggests that she give it a shot, because, despite popular stereotype, sometimes women do go to such places and are serviced by men. Barney approves, which makes Wojo, Wentworth's boyfriend, upset. Wojo gets even more upset when Wentworth hits the jackpot, busting the massage parlor and coming back with a tall, handsome, dimwitted male prostitute named Lance.
The other story concerns a man named Fletcher (Kenneth Tigar), who comes into the squad room with a nasty black eye. He tells the detectives that he was mugged. The weird part? He was mugged by an old lady in her 70s.
Fifth and last appearance by Linda Lavin as Janice Wentworth. That fall she became the star of Alice (1976).
Tropes:
- Bad to the Last Drop: Yemana takes malicious pleasure in serving Ms. Kleiner the Racist Grandma some terrible 12th precinct coffee. Ms. Kleiner does a Spit Take and says "We tore apart Cell Block 6 over coffee like this."
- Blowing a Raspberry: When Wentworth characterizes Lance the male hooker as "a young guy caught up in a bad scene," Wojo blows a sarcastic raspberry.
- Cool Old Lady: Sure, Mrs. Dexter is a criminal who beat a guy up. Still, having a black belt in karate and being able to beat up a guy half your age when you're in your 70s is cool.
- Expy: Wentworth arrests a himbo male prostitute named Lance...a tall, handsome blond-haired guy in a buckskin jacket and cowboy hat. In other words, an expy of Jon Voight in Midnight Cowboy.
- Green-Eyed Monster: Just like "Block Party" the week before, Wojciehowicz gets jealous when Wentworth goes off on an assignment that might require her to draw the attention of men.
- Happy-Ending Massage: Happy ending massage parlors are plaguing the 12th precinct, motivating Barney to send out his detectives to bust them.
- Never Mess with Granny: Mrs. Dexter, the suspect finally fingered in the mugging, is an old lady well into her 70s who has a black belt in karate and beat up a man decades younger.
- Newhart Phone Call: The episode opens with a phone call in which Barney is talking to an irate resident. He tells the caller that the police usually send undercover detectives to massage parlors. He defends that method of busting massage parlors, saying "Of course it works, I've tried it myself....None of your business."
- Office Romance: Wojo is still dating Wentworth and gets jealous when she goes to a massage parlor for a case.
- Racist Grandma: Ms. Kleiner, one of the old lady mugging suspects. She sits down next to Nick, who is Japanese, and says "Hey boy, how about some coffee?" Nick takes obvious pleasure in saying "For you, sure," and then serving her the 12th Precinct's godawful coffee.
- Red Light District: It seems the squadron building is in the middle of one. The detectives coming to work have to walk past sex shops, signs saying "Girls Inside", the aforementioned massage parlors...and a Christian Science reading room.Yemana: God knows what goes on in there!
