"Mayday! Mayday! This looks like the end! I never learned how to read!!"
— Pit, Kid Icarus: Uprising
Tuco: (reading a note left by Angel Eyes) See you soon, id-id-ids...
Blondie: (takes the note) Idiots. It's for you.
Blondie: (takes the note) Idiots. It's for you.
"The fact is that I am unique. I am not interested in what one man may transmit to other men; like the philosopher, I think that nothing is communicable by the art of writing. Bothersome and trivial details have no place in my spirit, which is prepared for all that is vast and grand; I have never retained the difference between one letter and another. A certain generous impatience has not permitted that I learn to read. Sometimes I deplore this, for the nights and days are long."
— Asterion, The House of Asterion
"Ha ha ha, I can't read."
— Person, asdfmovie2
"Miss Puffins, I'll be square with you. You work with exceptionally subnormal men. Defectives. Drunks. Sex criminals. War criminals. I'm fairly certain four of them can't even read."
— Saxton Hale, Team Fortress 2
All those lines and circles, to me, a mystery
Eve pull down the apple and give a taste to me
If she could it would be wonderful, but my pride is in the way
I cannot read to save my life, I'm so ashamed to say
Eve pull down the apple and give a taste to me
If she could it would be wonderful, but my pride is in the way
I cannot read to save my life, I'm so ashamed to say
— 10,000 Maniacs, "Cherry Tree"
Readin' and-a writin' never did get through to me
But when it came to makin' love, I learned my ay-bee-cees
Now please excuse me for scribblin'
I can barely write my name
But when it came to makin' love, I learned my ay-bee-cees
Now please excuse me for scribblin'
I can barely write my name
Barbara: What's happened, Cass? Speak to me!
Cassandra: She's hurt. Knocked Out.
Barbara: What about the book? Did she find the self-destruct command?
Cassandra: Yes, it's— it's here.
Barbara: Well then, what are you waiting for? What is it?
Cassandra: I— I don't know. I can't read.
Barbara: Dammit, Cassie, I know you can't read! Just tell me the letters and I'll work it out, okay?
Cassandra: There's one of those…uh…straight lines going up, with a round thing on the—
Barbara: You're kidding — you still don't even know the damn alphabet?! All those hours you spend practicing martial arts and you can't spare the time to learn your #$%@ ABC's?! For God's sake, Cassie — how stupid can you be?!
Cassandra: She's hurt. Knocked Out.
Barbara: What about the book? Did she find the self-destruct command?
Cassandra: Yes, it's— it's here.
Barbara: Well then, what are you waiting for? What is it?
Cassandra: I— I don't know. I can't read.
Barbara: Dammit, Cassie, I know you can't read! Just tell me the letters and I'll work it out, okay?
Cassandra: There's one of those…uh…straight lines going up, with a round thing on the—
Barbara: You're kidding — you still don't even know the damn alphabet?! All those hours you spend practicing martial arts and you can't spare the time to learn your #$%@ ABC's?! For God's sake, Cassie — how stupid can you be?!
— Batgirl (2000) issue 54
"I am not illiterate! My parents were married!"
— Lord Redbrick, Gnomeo & Juliet
"Oh wait, I can't read."
— Knuckles the Echidna after trying and failing to read an invitation, Sonic Boom
"Turns out you're not dyslexic, you're just really really stupid."
— Frankie Boyle, Mock the Week, "Bad things for a teacher to say"
