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Quotes / Never Live It Down

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A tourist stays the night at a farmer's house, and in the morning, visits it with the farmer.
"See that barn? Built it up with my own two hands for a year. But do they call me John Barnbuilder? No."
A while later: "See those fields? I designed and dug the irrigation trenches myself. Took me two years to do it. But do they call me John Ditchdigger? No."
Later still: "See that flock of sheep covering the hillside? Started out with just two of 'em, and five years later I got damn near two hundred. But do they call me John Shepherd? No!"
The tourist asks "What should they call you then?"
"Anything! Anything at all! All the things I've done in my life, you'd think they'd have trouble choosing, but no!"
The farmer stays silent for a minute. "But you fuck ONE GOAT!"

    Films — Live-Action 
Danny: And I always confuse Monet and Manet. Now which one married his mistress?
Tess: Monet.
Danny: Right, and then Manet had syphilis.
Tess: They also painted occasionally.

"Made out with a hot dog! OH MY GOD that was ONE TIME!!!"
Amber D'Alessio, Mean Girls

Jay: Hey, wait a second, aren't you that guy that fucked the pie?
Jason Biggs: Y'see, man? Y'see? It's never "hey, you were in Loser, weren't ya?" or "dude, you rocked in Boys and Girls!" No, it always comes back to that fucking pie! I'm haunted by it!

    Web Original 
Character: Says "I like bread" that one time.
Fandom: Character has an obsession with bread. Bread is character's true love. Draws character as bread. Every meta joke in fanfic is about bread. The character's room is wallpapered with bread.

"Steve Gerrard, Gerrard,
He slipped from 40 yards!
He gave it to Demba Ba!
Steve Gerrard, Gerrard."
Everton fans, making fun of Steven Gerrard slipping and allowing Demba Ba to score during Liverpool's 2-0 loss to Chelsea on April 27, 2014.

    Web Video 
Developing a game, as it turns out, is quite hard. As negative press grew and grew concerning nepotism and mass resignations, and full-page gaming adverts informed a restless gaming public that they were John Romero's cellmate and he'd claimed the top bunk, as it were, outright hostility was brewing. At this point, the universe takes two paths: one in which Romero spearheads a bold artistic movement in gaming design as a misunderstood genius burdened with the egotism that often strikes the auteur, or Romero is forever lambasted as a boob so massive that even the most determined baby would struggle to get its gob around him. And which universe we ended up with hinged on one thing: Daikatana not being an execrable pile of garbage. Better luck next time, universe.
Zero Punctuation on Daikatana and its impact on John Romero's reputation.

That was from our Goonies II playthrough, which was one of my favorite games as a little kid... I was so excited to share it with the Game Grumps audience, and now the only thing anyone remembers from it is me falling for the "updog" joke.

    Real Life 
If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.
John Kenneth Galbraith

When I make a mistake, it's a beaut.
Fiorello La Guardia

If Al Gore invented The Internet, I invented spell check.
Dan Quayle, inventing Gore's invention of the internet

You are remembered for the rules you break.

Last time I was here, I said I was a (referring to his penis) "Magnum". Now people are always screaming 'Magnum' at me...I really shouldn't have said it.

I’ll always be this once-famous actress nobody recognizes… because of a nose job.

Alistair loves cheese like Sten loves cookies. Which is to say they mention those things maybe twice, period.
David Gaider on Dragon Age fans

Vertrouwen/reputatie komt te voet en gaat te paard (Trust/reputation comes on foot and leaves on horseback).
— Dutch proverb

That's something you can't take away, swinging around naked on a wrecking ball lives forever. Once you do that in the amass, y'know, that I did, it's forever. I'm never living that down. I will always be the naked girl on a wrecking ball. No matter how much I just frolic with Emu, I'm always the naked girl on the wrecking ball.

This Earle of Oxford, making of his low obeisance to Queen Elizabeth, happened to let a Fart, at which he was so abashed and ashamed that he went to Travell, 7 yeares. On his returne the Queen welcomed him home, and sayd, My Lord, I had forgott the Fart.
John Aubrey, on an embarrassment reportedly suffered by the 17th Earl of Oxford

As someone who was raised in the South (Texas specifically) I’m perhaps a bit oversensitive to the stereotype that all southerners are backwards hillbillies more interested in working on their trucks than following current events. Obviously, there are legions of southerners who have achieved great things in business, the sciences, entertainment, and other important fields. But all it takes is one moron to go on national TV for our accomplishments to be overshadowed by an outdated and harmful stereotype.

You grow a perfect crop of amazingly on-brand colored hair, do they call you the fabulous hair guy? No. You build an Empire based on the principals of equity giving up a lot in the process, do they call you that awesome Emperor guy? No. YOU LIGHT ONE DUDE ON FIRE!

Future generations will damn you in your grave for what you have done.
Erich Ludendorff, condemning Paul von Hindenburg for appointing Adolf Hitler chancellor


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