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Quotes / Her Code Name Was "Mary Sue"

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If you're in trouble, he will save the day,
He's brave and he's fearless, come what may;
without him, the mission would go astray!

He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer!
Without him, life would be much grimmer;
he's handsome, trim, and no one's slimmer,
he will never need a Zimmer!

He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer!
More reliable than a garden's trimmer!
He's never been mistaken for Yul Brynner,
He's not bald and his head doesn't glimmer!

Master of the wit, and the repartee
His command of space directives is un-cann-y,
How come he's such a genius? Don't ask me!

Ask Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer!
He's also a fantastic swimmer;
and if you play your cards right,
he just might come 'round, for din-ner!
Red Dwarf, "The Rimmer Munchkin Song"

"The Cheat is a millionaire. A parade for the Cheat."
The Cheat (as Strong Bad), Homestar Runner Sbemail #87: mile

Bartrand: [after Varric kills three soldiers to reveal him cowering behind them] Oh Varric! Please forgive me, my brother! I was just jealous of you! How could I ever compete with you for Mother's love? [his voice changes to Varric's and the camera pans up to reveal the dwarf recounting his brother's "words"] You're strong and handsome and so very smart!
Varric: What?
Cassandra: Why lie about this now? What have you to gain?
Varric: What do you want from me? I broke in, found my brother and it was awkward! Family business!

"Man, that John Smith is awesome. It's like the historical John Smith wrote the screenplay."

A kind of glamour, you can lend yourself
Like dark sunglasses
You'll remember how good it tasted
Inside the ruling classes...
— "Dark Sunglasses", Chrissie Hynde & Bjorn Yttling

Steven: And then Willaim Dewey grows into a fifty-foot giant and carries the boat safety to shore. The crew thinks he's so good at being captain, that they elected him to be the first mayor of Beach City. The End. [...]
Jamie: William Dewey is a very uh... good character, but maybe we can bring out another side of William Dewey, see his struggles?
Mayor Bill Dewey: The great William Dewey didn't struggle! He was good at everything on the first try, just like me when I wrote this play!

Weiss: Who wrote this story anyway?
Ruby: I did! Thank-you-very-much!
Yang: [scoffs] No wonder. Red Riding Hood's a total Mary Sue character!
Ruby: [gasps] WHAT?!
Yang: [mockingly] "Loved by many and known for her hood"? [normal] You totally based her off yourself.
RWBY Chibi, Episode 12

"In premise and execution, Studio 60 was a work of unbearable, overweening arrogance. It began with making the lead character of Matt Albie both a clear Sorkin surrogate and a writer so ridiculously romanticized even M. Night Shyamalan might say, “Get over yourself, dude. You’re a fucking writer, not Jesus’ younger brother, the one God really likes.” Albie isn’t just a principled, gifted writer; he’s a man who gets out of bed every morning aching to making a stand. He’s admired by men and irresistible to women who run the gamut from a Maureen Dowd surrogate played by Christine Lahti to the high-end skanks of the Rockettes. Even with a head full of bad chemicals and a belly full of pills, he’s able to single-handedly write a peerless work of transcendent social and political satire everyone in the known universe will be talking about around the water cooler Monday morning. Writing 90 minutes of new comedy every week is a Herculean endeavor for even the most gifted writing staff; now imagine 90 minutes of brilliant comedy emerging anew weekly from the mind of but a single man! On pills, even! And with the kind of problems you would not believe! As I write this, I realize that that this is not a man I’m writing about. This is a God. Oh sure, this man-God has an ego. Wouldn’t you?"


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