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Quotes / Everything Is Racist

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Jeff: I'm saying you're a football player! It's in your blood!
Troy: That's racist.
Jeff: Your soul!
Troy: That's racist.
Jeff: Your eyes?
Troy: That's gay?
Jeff: That's homophobic.
Troy: That's black.
Jeff: That's racist!
Troy: Damn!

Everybody's a racist. Except me of course, because I'm black.

I saw Godzilla this week. So did everyone, it seems. And one moment, midway through, almost made me spill my popcorn in a fit of feminist pique. The scientists, on the trail of a gigantic primordial insect, discovered another gigantic primordial insect, bigger than the first — and realized, with horror, that it was female.
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Instantly, I sensed where this was going: This lady monster would be a stereotypical villainness, Leaning In and being bossy and pushy and all, attacked with awesome force by the military brass while the male monsters went off and played golf.
I turned out to be wrong; she was just taking part in an especially destructive mating dance.

...Parlabane took his leave of Scowl, or Joseph Donegan 38635 to give him his full title, though not before he had been 'learned a thing or three'. His penance for desecrating a sacred religious institution had, supplementary to that doled out by the sheriff, included a detailed education about the political oppression, financial inequity, ingrained prejudice and indefensible offside decisions that had made a pitiable underclass of the Scottish Catholic population. And if it all came as a revelation to Parlabane, he was pretty sure it would come as an equal surprise to most ordinary Scottish Catholics...

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Othello, as Shakespeare characterizes him, is a soldier of fortune from a foreign country, a hero, who wins Desdemona by his bearing and the romantic recital of his adventures in strange lands. When enemies of Othello want to abuse him, they speak opprobriously of his alien looks and wonder that Desdemona could love so strange a man, but that is part of the reality of the characterization, not a hint on Shakespeare's part of "racism." The unhappy times when men would read some suggestion of racial prejudice into every piece of literature concerned with alien characters lay some centuries ahead.
Louis B. Wright and Virginia A. LaMar, in the preface to the Folger Library edition of Othello

Hanzo: [fires arrow]
Tracer: [dodges] Whoa, man! You can't shoot a gay person!
Hanzo: Wait, what?
Tracer: You hear that, everyone?! Hanzo's homophobic! [...] Hand over the point, or I will Tumblr-shame you.
[...]
Hanzo: [frustrated] We're not going to give you the point just because you're gay!
Tracer: YOU'RE NOT GIVING ME THE POINT BECAUSE I'M GAY?!

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[Tyler, Marcus, and Gerard are playing pool.]
Tyler: Yo, man, it’s racial.
Marcus: Expand.
Tyler: The white ball dominates everything, right? Knocks the shit out of the yellow ball, the red ball, right? And the game’s over when the white ball drives the black ball completely off the table. Now why is that?
Gerard: I don’t know. But I’m sure you’ll tell me, my brutha.
Tyler: It’s because of the white man’s fear of the sexual potency of black balls.
Marcus: Now that one was interesting. And the pool table is the Earth, that’s why it’s green. And they used to think the world was flat. … That one was kinda deep, you went to the bottom of the ocean on that one.

Shawn: [who is white] We are acclaimed international supermodels, Black and Tan.
Model Coach: Well nice to meet you, Mister Tan. [nods at Gus, who is black] And you, Mister Black.
Shawn: I'm Black, he's Tan. How dare you assume otherwise. You should be ashamed of yourself, and your family.
Psych

Freckle: I say "Woo-hoo, boys!" and they sort of look. The one who isn't Asian is black.
Caleb: Th-this- you don't have to- this could be a color-blind story.
Freckle: But I wanna fill it with color.
Caleb: Yeah, but I'm just saying that- it's like- there's a race problem in Hollwood right now.
Freckle: And in America. A race-ism problem.
Caleb: I agree!
Freckle: Well, this story isn't racist; it's diverse. If everyone in it was white, then it would be racist, Caleb Gallo.
Caleb: ...You know what? You're right. Go ahead.
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