John Schmitt is a deeply closeted man, hiding his true feelings of lust from his wife's father for more than a decade. One fateful evening when John's car takes a plunge off the side of a bridge, John comes face to face with a man even more handsome and sultry than the object of his fancy: Jesus Christ. But as the two men make passionate love above John's dying body on their way toward the light of heaven, John reveals an appalling secret to the savior of all mankind. Will Jesus accept John's peculiar secret? Or will the son of God's own secret prove even more shocking than the one hiding inside John's pants?
Holey Matrimony was published exclusively on Amazon Kindle. (We do not provide a direct link due to the NSFW nature of the story.)
This story provides examples of:
- Apocalypse Cult: Cult of Dagonites.
- Dead to Begin With: The story begins with John dying from a car crash while he was texting.
- Did We Just Have Tea with Cthulhu?: Subverted. Jesus seems to be nice enough, giving John the best blowjob he ever has and does not seem to mind having sex with a man with scaly skin and three giant cocks. When they finish though, Jesus sucks John's spirit dry and discards it, and goes on about how he will eventually destroy everything.
- Double Standard: Rape, Divine on Mortal: The whole premise is Jesus having gay sex with a dying man created by a Lovecraftian Apocalypse Cult! What were you expecting?
- Eldritch Abomination: Jesus is revealed to be Tetrohalographagon a Lovecraftian deity destined to swallow the universe, and John's father.
- I Have Many Names: Evoked by Jesus.I go by many names in many times throughout many, many worlds. Jesus Christ is but one of my selves; a favorite, but not my true form any more than that of John Schmitt is yours.
- Just Before the End: There will be an apocalypse. Just not yet.
- Lovecraft Lite: John Schmitt was a half-human, half-Eldritch/Humanoid Abomination that lived a mundane married life (at least until he was meant to fulfill his destiny and end the world).
- Mermaid Problem: Gay sex is problematic for John since he lacks an anus.
- Naughty Tentacles
- Parental Incest: Given the Blue-and-Orange Morality Eldritch Abominations usually have, this isn't something that should surprise you.
- Transparent Closet: John only married his wife because he was sexually attracted to her father.