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Book I—One Decade of Peace
Before Hogwarts
Chapter 1
- McGonagall encounters Nearly Headless Nick eavesdropping on an argument between Dumbledore and Sirius about who should be entrusted with Harry's care. Nick is impressed by how creative Sirius' language choice got, specifically mentioning that Sirius implied the only explanation for how stupid Dumbledore's idea is was that his brother Aberforth's "fascination with goats must have rubbed off" on him, and is noted to sound disappointed that Lupin's arrival calmed Sirius down.
- While the party that goes to speak with Thomas and Veronica Evans is dressed in suitably subtle fashion for the most part, Sirius draws a lot of odd looks due to dressing like a biker. According to Remus, this is an extension of Sirius doing whatever he can to annoy his highly conservative family.
- Dumbledore attempts to ease the Evanses into the explanation of the magical world, only for Sirius to blow past everyone else's hesitation and immediately turn into a dog, causing Thomas and Veronica to faint in shock at the sight.
Chapter 2
- Sirius buys a house to be closer to Harry and the Evanses that just happens to be next door to the Dursleys, then invites Remus to live with him. The result is that the two's very presence stresses out the Dursleys, as while they don't like gay men (which Sirius and Remus are not), they can't retaliate due to their fear of magic.
Chapter 3
- Harry has a burst of accidental magic, the details of which go unsaid beyond it involving a cat and Remus having to undo the damage.
- McGonagall gives a T grade to an especially atrocious test by a student who'll probably end up failing the Transfiguration OWL exam. This prompts her to wonder how the student in question ended up in Ravenclaw, traditionally regarded as the House for clever people, in the first place.
Chapter 4
- The Healers trying to reach Walburga Black to respond to her heart attack in time quickly becomes a farce due to all of the security measures she added to her house in her paranoia. Attempting to enter the house via Floo fails due to Walburga disconnecting it from the Network, then trying to Apparate inside places the Healers on the street in front of the building due to anti-intruder wards she placed on the house. By the time they try entering normally and get blocked by furniture moving into their path, the look the Healers give Kreacher suggests they're already sick of how difficult Walburga's made herself to reach.
Chapter 5
- Dora Tonks made an especially bad impression on Moaning Myrtle during her first year, as she happened to use a toilet that Myrtle was inside of and subsequently spent hours being pursued by the ghost loudly complaining about having been "peed and shat upon".Dora: [thinking] What did she expect, spending her time in a toilet?
- A sixth-year Gryffindor by the name of Samantha Rogers finds out firsthand that not only were the boys' dorms enchanted over the summer to keep out the opposite sex like the girls' dorms have been for centuries, but attempting to enter them sets off a loud alarm. As McGonagall is displeased about having been woken up by the alarm on the first night of students being back, especially since she didn't even have time to explain the updates to the dorm charms yet, she refers Samantha to Filch for a punishment.
Chapter 7
- Professor Trelawney returns from a year's sabbatical looking so different that the student body struggles to recognize her. When Dumbledore confirms that this is indeed the same Divination professor, Dora loudly says, "What?! No way she is that scarecrow!". Not only does the outburst result in Trelawney giving her a death glare, but Professor Sprout 'congratulates' Dora on managing to achieve the rare feat of earning a detention on the first day back at Hogwarts. The only consolation Dora has is that at least she doesn't have Divination as an elective, otherwise the shame would have been akin to landing "in the ninth circle of hell".
- Sirius goes to the house of his girlfriend's father for Christmas dinner. He stops in a driveway looking over the map when an older gentlemen asks if he needs help. He then hops in the sidecar and gives directions (actually driving around in a circle) while he asks Sirius about his plans. They end up at the spot that they started at, and the man reveals himself to be Diane's father, Peter, and that Sirius was at the correct house.
- Later on, when Sirius is about to propose to Diane, he decides to reveal his secret of being a Wizard to her. While doing so, one of the "tricks" he does causes her to belch a soap bubble. Then, after she eventually says "yes", the two celebrate by hopping on the good foot and doing the bad thing, which causes Vernon Dursley (who lives next door to Sirius) to phone the police to complain about the noise. When the coppers find out who exactly is making the noise, they decide to just write it off as a false alarm and leave.
Chapter 12
- Dudley gets so stressed out about Aunt Marge visiting on his birthday that a burst of accidental magic turns her bulldog into a poodle. When the Accidental Magic Reversal Squad shows up to handle the situation, they initially think the magic gave Marge a moustache; Dudley has to tell them she's normally got one and it's the dog who was magically altered.
- The entire Weasley family shows up to watch Ron play in the finals of the junior national chess tournament for his age division. Fred and George are pouting because their mother put a Silencing Charm on them to ensure they'd stay quiet and not distract Ron.
Chapter 13
- During the flying lesson at the preschool, there are a number of antics with the kids trying to summon their brooms, such as...
- Hermione's broom simply flipping over on the ground.
- Neville's broom failing to move whatsoever.
- Luna's broom smacking her on the nose, knocking her glasses off and causing her to fall on her butt.
- Luna's turn at learning proper broom-riding technique has her at an adequate height, but for some reason she's on the broom upside down and gripping it with her knees.
- Hermione's broom suddenly starts zipping around like a rocket for a minute before the teachers manage to regain control, with Hermione shrieking in terror all the while. Upon disembarking from the broom, Hermione is unable to make it to a bush before throwing up.
- The Marauders' first flying lesson was highly disastrous, as it ended with Sirius getting concussed, Pettigrew breaking both legs, and Remus breaking at least three ribs.
Book II—Journey to Magic
Year One—The Philosopher's Stone
Chapter 16
- Most of the students are able to make their brooms come to their hand at their first Hogwarts flying lesson, though there are some exceptions. Schuster's broom doesn't move until he gives it a death glare, Seamus can't make his broom move at all, and Crabbe and Goyle's brooms both bonk their heads.
Chapter 18
- Fred and George receive detention for starting a rumor about Professor Snape serving as the referee for the Gryffindor-Hufflepuff Quidditch match.
- As per canon, Malfoy spies on Hagrid and sees that he's got a dragon. Unlike canon, he decides to wait a few days to report it so the dragon will be bigger and its discovery much more dramatic. Unfortunately for him, the dragon is relocated the day after he sees it and all the evidence of its presence is cleaned up before he tells anyone, making him look like a fool.
Year Two—The Chamber of Secrets
Chapter 20
- Due to Harry not living with the Dursleys as Dobby's trying to stop him from returning to Hogwarts, Vernon's dinner with the Masons goes off without a hitch and he secures a big business deal with them. Dudley thinks that the whole affair was incredibly cringeworthy and is astonished that the Masons went through with the deal.That his parents had felt it important to rehearse the whole thing in order to butter up the Masons properly made Dudley wonder how badly his father had wanted that deal. Not to speak of the embarrassing things they had made him say and the amount of alcohol consumed by the adults. It was like something right out of one of these cheesy American TV series with a plot of inviting the boss home to get a promotion.
- After hearing Hedwig making funny sounds, Mark Evans sneaks into Harry's room to see what the fuss is and encounters Dobby. Mark proceeds to drag the house-elf down the stairs to show his parents, proclaiming "Gollum really exists! He is real!"Dobby: Dobby is not being Gollum! Dobby is being Dobby!
