Funny / Shadow Hearts

Koudelka

• The initial meeting between Koudelka and Edward really sets the stage of character dynamic for the game and the series as a whole. The encounter is used as a lead-in to the werewolf fight, the first boss/combat in the game. Edward tosses her his gun and Koudelka kills the beast but she immediately regrets getting to the monastery early enough to save him.
  Edward: I almost got killed. If you'd come any later no doubt I'd have been singing hymns in his stomach right now.
  Koudelka (to herself): Shouldn't have brought such a good horse, she's too fast.
• Koudelka realizes right away that there is a poison in the soup the care-takers are offering her and politely declines so she can continue to investigate their secrets without confrontation; however, she does not tell Edward right-away and only causally brings it up after the meal is complete when they are alone, at which point Edward all of a sudden starts to feel the effects. Koudelka pensively playing detective while a barely ambulatory Edward is reeling in pain turns it into a Funny Background Event. Sure, she can cure him at any time, but as a result, Koudelka focuses more on the mystery than the actual danger Edward is in and it is quite the scene to behold.
  Edward: You wasted all of that food. What's wrong with you?
  Koudelka: Yeah, if it weren't poisoned then I would have had some.
  Edward: ...Pardon?
  Koudelka: I said, "If. The. Soup. Weren't. Poisoned. Then. I. Would. Have. Had. Some." Got it?
  Edward: Poison?...No way.
  Koudelka: Just a little bit. I smelled some poisonous plant.
  Edward: What's that?
  Koudelka: Oh I can tell you how you are going to feel. In about half an hour you won't be able to move your body. If you don't find an antidote, you'll definitely die.
  Edward: (Doubling over in pain) Ughhh so they really were trying to kill us. Ugh, but why.
  Koudelka: (Dull contemplative tone) Hmm Don't know, but it seems they're quite used to doing it this way. They must be hiding something...
  Edward: OHHH aw owe ugh!
  Koudelka: Listen Edward, I'm going to try to cure you now. But you have to promise when I do you won't get mad and rush back to that couple right away. It's safer if we pretend we're dead.
• The thief Alias's quip at James, to which Koudelka and Edward laugh in agreement:
  Alias: But the more wholesome they look on the outside, the colder and uglier the heart is. Just look at him! *points at James*
• Roger Bacon is just as bombastic in his initial appearance as he is in the rest of the series. From waking up shouting about the Emigre document then collapsing from exhaustion to making small talk in the midst of a monster out-break. But in particular his dislike of being labeled as abnormal and that being a bad thing is a strong bit of dry commentary.
  Roger: I am no mummy. My name is Roger Bacon, and I'm just like any normal old man.
  Edward: I have been around for twenty years and I have yet to run across an old man as abnormal as yourself.
  Roger: I see. Well I have been around for more than six hundred years and I have seen plenty of ABNORMAL PEOPLE JUST LIKE MYSELF!

Shadow Hearts

• Yuri and the cannibal kids in the Zhaoyang Village:
  Yellow-eyed Child: Darn! If we let you get away, everyone’ll get mad and then they’ll eat us up! And if we DON’T let you get away, they’ll know we tried to sneak a taste, so they’ll eat us anyway!
  Red-eyed Child: If we’re gonna get eaten no matter what, I at least wanna taste the girl! Lemme have the girl!
  Yuri: Hah! Tough luck, kids! If anyone’s going to eat her, it’s me!
  Alice grumbles internally
  Yellow-eyed Child: Ooh, you’re so bad!
  Red-eyed Child: We’ll kill you!!
• Dehuai's first interaction with the party is while he's possessing a small puppy Alice has named "Tiny". Yuri simply cannot take it seriously. With each wisecrack from Yuri, the Battle Aura around "Tiny" gets bigger and bigger...
• The flashback where a young Yuri talks about how he wants "lots and lots of siblings'" and how "Mom and Dad can make babies if they are together" to his mother. Then the very next scene went downhill from there.
• When Roger Bacon or rather, Albert Simon makes his escape during the summoning of the Seraphic Radiance, he mocks the heroes by offering them to come to London, to join him in a "spot of tea". He then gets beaned in the head when his protective barrier fails him and actually says 'Doh'.
• The entire exchange between Margarete and the street kid Joshua, who keeps calling her 'ma'am' when she insists on being called 'miss'.
  Joshua: Really? Thank you, miss ma'am.
  Margarete: *sweatdrops* I don't appreciate that phrase.
  Yuri: Ha ha! Now that's a brave lad there.
  Margarete: Did you say something?
  Yuri: *sweatdrops* Er, nope...
  • When the confused Joshua keeps calling Margarete 'miss ma'am', she oh so sweetly tells him that if he calls her that again, she'll kill him.
• Yuri on the Smuggler's Boat. He gets severe seasickness and for the first part of the area he cannot even run in the field when you control him. When you talk to Margarete, Yuri almost vomits but Margarete yells at him, so he swallows it. Maragrete then chastises him for swallowing it.
  • Zhuzhen isn't all that sympathetic either. When Yuri whines about not being able to make it until they get to Shanghai, Zhuzhen responds that if he's going to die, then he can do it somewhere else. This is after he asks Yuri to not throw up on his robes. Yuri just whines a little more about how Margerete and Zhuzhen are mean, and that Alice is the only one who really cares about him.
• After telling Alice about the time he met Yuri's father, Zhuzhen finishes his story up with the fact that Ben carried him on his back to get help and the fact he got a little flustered about it.
  Zhuzhen: The next thing I knew he was carrying me piggy-back, and I could feel my face burning red! He was an incredible man, and handsome to boot... so much so that he almost had ME swooning! Hah!
• It's a little dark, but when Alice and Zhuzhen go to Bistritz to tell Terry's family about his death, his daughter first asks who you are, and you're given the option to tell her that you're one of the monsters plaguing the town. Even funnier is that it's sweet little Alice who says it.
• Margerete is intent on examining Yuri rather closely after he's been missing for six months. She peers at him from all angles, and ends up crouching down in front of him, at waist level. Yuri admits that he's actually quite enjoying himself.
• Margarete and Keith's first meeting involves a little flirting while insulting Yuri at the same time.
  Keith: Yes, I'm the one who took care of the moocher here. My name is Keith. Enchanted, mademoiselle.
  Margarete: I'm Margarete, the moocher's babysitter. Nice to meet you, Keith.
• Following the good ending, Yuri returns to the Graveyard to berate the Four Masks for putting a curse on Alice. He demands they apologize, and when they don't, he then then threatens to beat them up again by simply cracking his knuckles and staring at them. It works and they apologize.

Shadow Hearts: Covenant

• Joachim's introduction speech as Grand Papillon (especially considering the sinister music that plays just prior), with the entire party going "What?"
  • Ditto to the next dungeon where Joachim has a complete cheesy confrontation with Veronica... where he is powerless till he gets his mask back.
• This particular moment.
  Yuri: Bite me.
  Asmodeus-Rasputin: No, it is YOU who will bite ME!
  • Also:
  Astaroth: What do you wish, human?
  Yuri: I wish you'd shove it. You know where.
• Very early in the game, once you start using crests, Gepetto will try to give one for Yuri to use. Only for him nervously refuse it because he can't use them essentially cementing his status as a badass Idiot Hero.
• One of the dungeons is a huge wine cellar. As the party gets deeper into it, Karin at one point says that the atmosphere is changing.
  Yuri: ...This atmosphere is aromatic, spicy and pungent, a medium-bodied atmosphere with a crisp finish...
  Everyone else: ?
  Gepetto: What the hell are you talking about?!
• During Lucia's first presentation Yuri is absolutely dazzled by her dance. Meanwhile, just look at Karin.
• There's also the infamous exchange with Lucia.
  Yuri: That is one giant pussy. ^note The party is being attacked by an exotic dancer wearing a skimpy outfit. And a large cat.
• The Comically Missing the Point scene when Garan attempts to scare the party. While he is attempting to scare them, they are more interested by the fact that he can float on a awesome pillow, and wonder where they can get one. Garan doesn't take all that crap, of course especially when giving them a final chance to plead for mercy Yuri just says this.
  Yuri: That pillow... where can I get one?
  Garan: I... will... strip the flesh from your bones!
• Take Anastasia to Kurando's mother after you unlocked Kurando's second fusion. Anastasia gets her alternate costume. And a lot of Accidental Innuendo. Oh and getting engage to Kurando as a bargaining tool to keep their talk between them.
• The group is traveling to Japan, following their epic battle with Nicolai where Yuri was gravely injured. They are speaking in hushed voices, wondering if he will ever recover... until Anastasia bursts out with:

  Anastasia: C'mon! Show me somebody that's in danger of dying from seasickness?!

  *camera pans to a downed Yuri scratching his ass*

  • Also in the scene is a Funny Background Event: Anastasia is trying to get Blanca to do some trick. Blanca simply puts one of his paws on her head.
• Roger Bacon's first scene in the game. After he finds out that Yuri and company gave Nicolai the Emigre Manuscript, he launches into an emotionally-driven speech about how he never once revealed its location even while being tortured... only for Yuri to smack him in the middle of said speech.
• It gets even worse for Roger, at the beginning of Disc 2 he's left behind by the party to the mercy of bears because Anastasia crashed the group's airship to get a closer look at the mama bear playing with her cub and then the party ran screaming from them. Yuri justifies it saying Roger looks so unappealing none of the bears would want to eat him. Even funnier that while powerful demons aren't an issue, a bunch of regular bears is too much for them.
• When Anastasia is talking in Edgar's shop about how the forces of good must stand against the forces of evil, everyone is enthralled... except for Yuri, who is trying to teach Blanca how to dance.
• Yuri gives flashbacks on the plot from the first game, complete with hand drawn pictures, drawn in a silly style. The great castle Neameeto looks like it has baguettes sticking out of it, and the Seraphic Radiance is reduced to a monster with lopsided breasts and fangs.
• There's a puzzle that involves setting a grandfather clock to a certain time, and the times are found in various places around the room. You get 'three o'clock' from a book about farts.
  "It's a Gas! All about Farts"
  Farts usually come roughly six hours after eating. (So if you had breakfast, one should come around three o'clock.) Don't try to hold them in or they'll come out your mouth. Be considerate, but commit to healthy farting.''
  • If Yuri sets the clock to three, a loud farting noise is heard. The vase next to the clock appears to be the one that farted.
    Narration: A foul smell fills the air. Oh my god.
• The poor Ring Soul is an entity that shows up to Yuri and company, and grants them the ability to customize their Judgment Rings. However he struggles to remain professional when Yuri constantly calls him 'Ring Spirit', and while Karin does try to scold Yuri for it, she also ends up using the term 'Ring Spirit'. The Ring Soul doesn't take too kindly to this and eventually snaps;
  Ring Soul: I always take it seriously! The Ring Soul doesn't have much impact as a character, so I have to play it all majestic! It's a tough role! I've got a 30-year mortgage, the wife and kids to feed! I can't afford not to take my job seriously, okay?! I'm trying my hardest to leave some kind of impression on the people I meet! Why are you being such a pain?! Just taking me for a fool! Ring Spirit this, Ring Spirit that! I'm the Ring Soul! Okay?! Let me spell it out! R-i-n-g S-o-u-l!
• The final fight in Blanca's Wolf Bout is against a glorified fursuiter named Ernest. He acts like a complete dork when you meet him, and it continues into the actual fight, with his basic attack chain ending with his mascot head spinning around and his "Rocket Fist" attack just being a toss of his glove at Blanca.

Shadow Hearts: From The New World

• When Shania introduces herself to Johnny, watch where his line of sight is.
• Frank's Special Ninjutsu "Art of Unlock" and Johnny's reaction to it.
  Johnny: You know, for a second I thought it was gonna be cool. Shows ya how lame I am...
• Johnny's first reaction to Mao is surprise, given that, well, she's a talking cat. No one else seems to notice. Later in the game, after the party recruits a Polish-American McNinja and nobody seems to care about that:
  Johnny: Is it me? Am I the weirdo?
• Johnny about the odd news begin posted on a newspaper.
  Johnny: "Lauded UFO Legend Lands in Roswell!" "Giant Cat Commands Crime Crown in Chicago Mafia!" Yeah, nobody with half a brain would believe this..
  Mao and Hilda stare at each other.

Misc

• The Running Gag where you name Roger Bacon. In the first game, you first meet him and he introduces himself, cutting to a naming screen. And then you get interrupted when he starts looking at the screen and asking if the player thinks they're going to travel together. In later games, you can't rename the characters, but the name screen still shows up for Roger Bacon, and he still chastises you for your presumption.
• Pick all the "wrong" options during the interrogation scenes in Covenant and From the New World — also doubles as Video Game Cruelty Potential, when you see characters repeatedly shocked or poked with swords.

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