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Funny / Rusty Quill Gaming

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Given that Rusty Quill Gaming is made up of improvers and comedians, expect plenty of moments that will make you cry with laughter just as much as sadness.


  • Bertie catches Zolf with one finger, and, outside, an ice cream truck goes past the Rusty Quill Towers.

Season 1

  • During the chase for Pseudo-Byron, Zolf, who can't move more than 10 feet per turn, simply opts out and gets very, very drunk on the bank's free alcohol, to the point of taking off his peg leg and using it to fence.
    • Similarly, during the chase on the Paris rooftops, Zolf decides he won't even bother:
    Ben, introducing his character: Zolf "two tile" Smith!
  • Wilde and Bertie's over-the-top flirting and subsequent "interview." James wonders aloud whether he should roll for "ride" or "intimate knowledge (nobility)."
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  • While stuck in a jail for a week, Zolf gets very, very into romance novels.
    Zolf: Jennifer, no!
  • While travelling to Calais, the party encounters Doris & Sandra, two elderly British women who race each other across Europe every year while getting absolutely sloshed. They proceed to flirt wildly with Hamid and race them towards Calais in their cars.
  • Bertie finally gets a chance to tell the party about his situation while in a magically protected room:
    Bertie: I am under a curse. I am under a curse! It’s a massive curse. It’s a curse full of lawyers, it’s a real problem, it’s been quite the nuisance and I can’t talk about it when I’m out there! I can definitely talk about it when I’m in here! Then it’s fine! Then the lawyer gnomes won’t be watching me all the time! If I talk about the curse, it triggers the curse more. If I break the curse in any way – basically I have to be a knight! I have to be a bold kni– I don’t want to do any of this! Sick of this, it’s horrible! I wanna be at home, coated in honey the whole time, being gently licked by nice young men. And here I am harrowing all over the continent – I’m bloody stuck with it!! I’m sick of it! I hate all of you!
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  • When chasing the old man on the rooftops of Paris, both Sasha and Bertie spectacularly fail their saves to jump across a building, taking massive amounts of fall damage. Cue Bryn pretending that Hamid is going to try that same jump, and the whole table freaking out before he clarifies that it's a joke.
  • As Sasha separates from Hamid and Zolf to look for exit to the catacombs, a terrifying monster starts chasing her:
    Zolf: I spy with my little eye something starting with a — (Horrifying screech from the monster getting stabbed echoing down the tunnels.)
    Hamid : ...EEEE-vil?
    • Sasha then attempts to lie very, very badly that everything is fine – she just needs to check the other tunnel but Hamid and Zolf should probably not make a lot of noise.
  • A Hamid and Sasha fight a fire elemental, Bertie comes to check on them: he opens the door to the room, sees how the fight is going, and simply closes the door again.


Season 2

  • Paris, flooded? In Seine.
  • Bertie's attempts at vengeance on Harrison Campbell while aboard Amelia Earhart's skyship. He throws Campbell over the side of the ship, where he dangles for a moment, before being rescued through a lower window. Bertie, however, doesn't see this rescue and believes Campbell has just plunged to his doom. Earhart goads Bertie into descending on a line to check that Campbell's not hanging on the bottom, and when he does, has cooking fat thrown down the side, leaving him to repeatedly slip down the side of the skyship as Earhart and Sasha watch, eating chicken.
  • Grizzop's on-the-go funeral rites: "Ashes to ashes, funk to funky, go off and join the Celestial Hunt-y!"
    • The bloopers reel at the end of the episode reveals the party workshopping the phrase, leading to increasingly vulgar suggestions about words that might rhyme with "hunt."
  • One of Hamid's first acts as the party's new leader is coming up with a name: the London and Other London Outstanding Mercenary Group, or L.O.L.O.M.G.
  • The party spends half an episode trying to get the talking raven in Kafka's office to first admit that it can talk, and then to tell them what happened to Kafka — and then of the benefits of capitalism.

Season 3

  • Grizzop and Azu wander into a seedy bar in search of Sasha — only to inadvertently start a bar fight. Grizzop rolls a natural 20 to shoot a man's kneecaps off, and then immediately regrets his decisions and reattaches them.
  • While fighting off dozens of Mooks from the Cult of Hades, the players descend into tears of laughter as they decide that the cultists are all "lads and/or blokes of indeterminate gender" and insert "lads" or "blokes" into every phrase that comes to mind.
    Ben: My milkshake brings all the blokes to the yard!
  • Alex asks the party to come up with a name of a classy restaurant in Cairo. Their answer? The Griddle of the Sphinx.
  • The party hires a limo to take them into Damascus, and unwisely let Sasha drive. As the party speeds down the hill, Azu tries to climb out the window to talk to Sasha, but falls out the carriage. Not knowing what's happening, Grizzop and Sasha jump out after her. Hamid, left alone in the carriage, his three companions having leaped from the limo for absolutely no discernible reason, takes a swig of wine from the bottle and continues into Damascus.
  • Wilde's solution to the group telling him to get some rest? Sending illusory fireworks into the air that read "Wilde's fine! Stop asking!"
  • While trying to flood the factory, Grizzop has a "very exciting" meeting with several half-naked orcs. He ends up walking with a group of them, leaving him surrounded by orc thighs.
  • Grizzop's desperately tries to get the "People's Front of Damascus" — the single most incompetent group of revolutionaries in the lands under Meritocratic control — to help him get to Rome, leading Grizzop on an increasingly absurd treasure hunt around Damascus to keep their actions "hidden."
  • The party encounters Ed Keystone, of all people, in Rome — he'd been making a pilgrimage there, and despite the many guards posted outside to prevent anyone from entering, ran inside to fight a monster. He's been running from monster to monster for weeks, very confused and hungry:
    Ed I ate a frog, Hamid!

Season 4

  • As they make their way across turbulent waters in a monstrosity of a boat, Cel turns into a dolphin and screeches, in Dolphin, to direct Zolf, who's steering. Later, Cel apologizes:
    Cel: Hey! You understand Dolphin! Sorry I swore so much at you. I was really - I shouldn't have called you those things, but I was just panicking, you know? Just panicking.
  • Ben reveals that Zolf is not just sad, he's mechanically grief-filled:
    Ben: I’m so sad that if anyone is like “Welp, I’m going to make you sad!”, and I’m like; “*sigh* ...I’m already sad...”

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