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Funny / Red Rising

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The Red Rising universe is full of as many funny moments as it is awesome ones. All spoilers are unmarked.

     Red Rising 
  • Matteo tells Darrow that he will teach the latter how to behave like a Gold until he can protect himself from the former's shampoo bottle. Darrow's response?
  • As soon as school begins at the Institute, Sevro takes off into the woods and begins living with the wolves around Castle Mars. Cassius just thinks he's "wanking off in the bushes." Later on...
    Sevro: "What did you think I was doing this whole time, you silky turd? Wanking off in the bushes?"
    Darrow: "Kind of..."
    Cassius: "Yeah, actually."
  • When raiding Castle Minerva, Darrow's priorities are to steal their Standard and their... cook.
  • Tamara's death becomes an amusing bit of Black Comedy when the dedications for Golden Son and Morning Star reveal that she was named after a friend of Pierce Brown's.

     Golden Son 
  • As part of Darrow's status as an in-universe Memetic Badass, rumors have started circulating during the Time Skip that he eats glass.
  • Darrow and Mustang talking about how they both sleep in their closets instead of their beds because of how big their staterooms are, both aboard spaceships and on planets.
  • En route to Hildas Station to recapture the Augustan fleet from Pliny, Lorn cautions Darrow to be tactful in dealing with the Gold nobility who were swayed to Pliny's side. Unfortunately for Lorn, Darrow is a drama king with a flair for dramatic entrances.
    Darrow: "What was that you said earlier, about tact?"
  • After the invasion of Mars, Mustang is catching Darrow up on what he missed while he was in a coma and mentions Victra flirting with Anything That Moves.
    Darrow: "Wait. She flirted with you? Tell me more."
  • Roque's attempts at humor in the following chapter.

     Morning Star 
  • Sevro threatens to hide a dead fish in Darrow's room and let it putrefy if the latter tells anyone about him crying after the brief instance of Fighting the Lancer.
  • Sefi and her Obsidian warriors make it a tradition to go into battle high on Liquid Courage. When offered some, Darrow politely declines.
    • After declining some herself, Victra admits that she tried some with Cassius, and both of them ended up shirtless by the end of their trip.
  • Victra's blunt message after capturing Antonia.
    Victra: "Bitch caught. Kavax free. Victory mine."
  • During their bonding moment late in the book, Cassius mentions his father trying to revive the custom of toga parties.
  • After his brief stint of Faking the Dead in the last act, Sevro has a case of bowel trouble from the drug used to make himself appear dead. And, well...
    Sevro: "Did you really think I'd do it on purpose?"
    Darrow: "Kind of..."
    Cassius: "Yeah, actually."

     Sons of Ares 
  • In the second issue, Fitchner arrives as the Vardan estate to find Arturius flat out drunk. Fitchner asks if if his friend had been drinking long.
    Arturius: "Define "Long"?"
  • When he learns that his mother left a seat for Fitchner at the opposite end of the table for the graduation dinner, Arturius immediately kicks a high-ranking Gold out of the nearest chair to his own, and sits Fitchner down in it. Both Fitchner and the other Gold are completely confused as to what's going on.

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