- "Argo fuck yourself."
- Producer Lester Siegel is less than thrilled about getting a lifetime achievement award:"I'd rather stay home and count the wrinkles on my dog's balls."
"If I'm gonna make a fake movie, it's gonna be a fake hit.""Okay pal, we're in the movie. Call my agent.""I've worked with this guy for 20 years. He's full of shit and he comes on strong."
- Basically anything Lester does or says.
- "It's like talking to those two old fucks on The Muppets."
"You don't have a better bad idea than this?""This is the best bad idea we have, sir... by far."
- Later in that scene:
- "So you wanna come to Hollywood, act like a big shot, without actually doing anything? You'll fit right in."
- "You want to lie to Hollywood, a town where everybody lies for a living?"
- Yet another jab at Hollywood:It's an exfil [from] the worst place you can imagine.
- John Chambers: "You're an associate producer at best," and "you could teach a rhesus monkey to be a director in a day." Fairly funny, basically a Bottom of the Barrel Joke. Until you remember that he's talking to his real-life director and boss, Ben Affleck.
- Chambers trying to figure out who to rope in to produce their fake movie, and then realizing with each passing second how difficult it's going to be to find the right person for the job.
- Following a very tense scene where Iranian guards are holding up Mendez and the six for questioning before allowing them to board the airplane and escape, the Commander Contrarian of the six stays completely in-character and acts out scenes from the pretend sci-fi movie to the Iranian guards. Once their story checks out, the protagonists board the plane but leave behind the storyboard pictures from the movie for the guards. Two of the serious, imposing Iranian guards then begin to practically Squee! over it.
- The guards assuming Cora(Clea Duvall) is the nearly naked brunette on the Argo poster when her actual cover story is that she's the screenwriter, and her offended reaction.
- At the last minute, Jack has to get the passports approved by the President. Problem is, the President's not taking calls. So they try to call the Chief of Staff to get to the President.Jack Go find the Chief of Staff!CIA Guy: How am I supposed to know where he is?Jack: WE'RE A FUCKING SPY AGENCY! Find him!
- This exchange:Lester: History starts as farce, ends as tragedy!John: No, it's the other way around.Lester: Who said that exactly?John: Marx.Lester: ...really? Groucho said that?
- One of the costumes at the press event is no more than Chewbacca crudely spray-painted blue. In fact, a lot of the costumes' Star Wars inspiration is fairly blatant.
- We also get to see original Cylons on one of the sets.
- The scene in which we're introduced to John Chambers. "The minotaur says the make-up's getting in the way of his acting." "If he could act, he wouldn't be playing the minotaur."
John: The target audience will hate it.
- Later he talks to Mendez:
Mendez: What is the target audience?
John: People with eyes.
- At the press release, Lester gets talking to an actress who's auditioning for a part in Argo (some sort of intergalactic witch) with Lester ending the conversation saying he'll call her. As soon as she's out of earshot...Lester Siegel: Keep that fucking space witch away from me!John Chambers: You know her?Lester Siegel: I was married to her!
- This scene wasn't in the movie, but it did happen in Real Life. At the duty-free shop at Mehrabad Airport, while waiting for the flight out, the Staffords bought Tony Mendez, whom they knew as Kevin Harkins, a container of Iranian caviar, as a token of their appreciation. That's not the funny part. The funny part is what happened after they made it safely to Switzerland. The houseguests were greeted by officials from the State Department, and Mendez walked off into airport, anonymously, to catch a flight back to America. When he got on that flight, he asked a stewardess if she wouldn't mind storing the caviar in the refrigerator in the galley to keep it fresh over the long flight. She refused on the grounds that it was obviously either Iranian or Russian caviar (she presumably couldn't distinguish between Perso-Arabic and Cyrillic letters, but knew that caviar came from the Caspian Sea), and that she would only allow the fridge to be used for it once the Russians had withdrawn from Afghanistan and the Iranians had released the American hostages. So it's not like Mendez could argue the point, since he agreed with her in principle, and could hardly tell her the circumstances by which he came by this Iranian caviar, but the poor guy has to spend the flight worrying that this wonderful gift is going to spoil.
- When the group gets into the bus to take them to the plane and it has engine trouble, there's a quick shot of Tony letting out a brief, sardonic laugh. You can tell he's thinking, "Good grief, what the hell else is going to go wrong?" It's the one moment in the film where he appears close to losing his composure and it manages to be amusing rather than worrisome.
Funny / Argo