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Awesome / Christopher Titus

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  • The man himself. The main page makes it clear that Titus has lived an extremely harsh life, with suicides, abuse, divorce, betrayal, cruelty, and at least one near-death experience. And guess what? He's still alive and, most importantly, as stated in Neverlution, he uses himself and his life experiences as an antidepressant for others and himself (one that doesn't lead to death if taken with alcohol).
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  • His plan to stop terrorism, where he explains that by giving the United States' enemies access to big-screen TVs and free cable they could see how:
    Titus: We build monster trucks for fun! We built the world's fastest drag racer goes 0-60 in three seconds, because we were bored! ...Piss us off and see what we build.
  • Also, the doctor that worked on Titus' hands after the bonfire incident for getting right in his face and shouting some sense into him about the fact that he could easily have been dead and charred if not for pure luck (i.e., his idiot friends rescuing him and his happening to exhale upon falling in), with bonus points earned for doing so while Titus was completely out of it due to the morphine/alcohol interaction his body was going through.
  • Titus mentions having broken - shattered, really - his hand during a martial arts demonstration. Hoping to make a quiet exit and quietly take himself to the hospital to have his hand un-tinkertoyed, he is then roped into holding the board for several young trainees to kick in half - and mentions that every one of them managed to hit his broken hand. He kept it together - and then had to shake hands with the visiting martial arts masters. He still kept it together, although one of the visiting masters mentioned to his master that he had apparently tried to speak Korean, presumably while gasping in pain. The only way his master knew that he had horribly broken his hand is because Titus came in later and told him.
  • His bit on the word "retard" is a brilliant piece in which he deconstructs the meaning behind the word.
    Titus: What does it mean? It means you were born a certain way. You were born at a certain level but you didn't live up to that. You are behind where you should have been. You are retarded, right? But let's talk about this: that guy in the Olympics with the blades for legs? Lemme ask you something: any of you guys make the Olympics? I see paraplegics going to law school, getting law degrees, taking down these billion-dollar companies in civil suits. Kids with Down's, and access to levels of love we can't even imagine! I'm sorry; that's not retarded! That's advanced! But if you have everything working perfectly, you have all your facilities about you but you wind up addicted to crystal meth and living under a bridge? You're fucking retarded.
    • Something that crosses into a Funny Moment is, if you listen really carefully, you can hear an audience member shout "Oh, shit!" right before Titus gets to those mic dropping last few lines.
  • In Born with a Defect, he describes a moment where his daughter avoided a Morton's Fork by deciding to Take a Third Option. At a church service on Mother's Day, Titus ended up sitting right behind his ex-wife, with his new wife in tow. Titus' daughter went to get a rose from the priest to give to her mother, but the little girl said she Has Two Mommies and wanted two roses.note The priest told her to only take one rose, leading Titus to start worrying that she'd have to pick which mother to give it to. Undaunted, she tore the rose in half, handed both of her moms a few petals each, and hugged them both.
  • To encourage people to stay inside during the Covid-19 quarantine, Titus has been uploading one of his comedy specials to Youtube per week.
    • He's also been uploading an episode of Titus every day as well. Knowing the history behind the show's cancellation, the fact that he is able to do this at all is a feat in and of itself.


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