1000 things we've learned from video games

291. The definition of overpowered varies from person to person. Usually the guy who is the current "king" of the community.

292. Detonating 20 packs of C4 underneath a tank with a friend in it will not destroy it. In fact, it will probably fly at least 30 feet into the air, then land unharmed. Because, you know, physics.

293. Assault rifles take rifle ammo. However, so do crossbows and longbows.

293B. The Battlefield Theorem: An ammo box will hold ANYTHING, from 9mm pistol rounds, to .50 cal sniper rounds and anti-tank mines. Now in convenient pouch form!

294. Need to change your clothes? Eat something? Change weapons? Apply first-aid? It's okay, the guys currently shooting at you or the mutant abomination in mid-lunge towards your throat will kindly wait for you. So will their bullets, and, apparently, time.

295. Your cell phone service provider will never question your reasoning behind the absurd amount of wireless data you use blowing up the city and disabling police helicopters. Also, even in a dystopian Chicago, the police have never heard of cell phone killswitches. Or EMP devices.

296. Did you just murder an important member of our village? It's okay; just pay us a few Septims and we'll forget all about this.

edited 10th Aug '14 3:00:13 PM by ZeroDarkFlirty

297. A human life is worth 1000 gold coins.

298. A human life is worth 100 gold coins (or one green mushroom).

297b: Getting in with the Thieves' Guild can get you a discount on murder^note Along with every other crime., despite them forbidding you from killing anyone on a job, but other professional assassins can't help you.

edited 10th Aug '14 4:07:49 PM by Bisected8

299. Time Stands Still + Attack Reflector + Shoot Em Up = GameBreaker.

300. When people die, they always ragdollize.

301. The military is so absurdly racist and sexist they only recruit, as Yahtzee puts them, burly white dudes.

302. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting something to change.

303. People can jump as if they were on the moon.

304. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting something to change.

305. You can't swim. At all.

306. There's no environment more realistic than one that's entirely brown and grey.

307. If you're in a military FPS, expect to be American.

308. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting something to change.

edited 12th Aug '14 2:08:23 AM by AxMachina

310, Anyone you can't boss around will either die or betray you soon.

edited 12th Aug '14 1:48:21 AM by mynameis:

311, Unrealistic as it is, you can pull a perfect shot via just hiding behind the first roadblock you come across and sticking your rifle above it.

312, Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting something to change.

313, If there's something on the table, you can take it without asking, even if someone's at the table and they're looking at you.

314, It's not stealing if you have the key, which I stole.

315. Everytime you see a crosshair, RUN from it

316. Exception to the above- If the crosshair is blue or green, staying in it could be a better choice. E.g. The GTR's tank-robot form from Contra: Hard Corps, the Foundry level from R-Type III.

317: If you have a level system, that's good enough to qualify as a Roleplaying Game. So Let's M************ roleplay!

edited 13th Aug '14 4:15:37 PM by WilliamRadarStorm

318. To be a badass, you must sound like you have a sore throat.

319. To have a successful franchise, do nothing to innovate and add fuck all to your sequels.

320. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting something to change.

321: The English Language. No, really, I learned it through video games.

322. Don't ever piss off a short man with underwear on his head.

323. Courage is the magic that turns dreams into reality.

324. Eat your food, don't shoot it!

325. The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world.

edited 27th Nov '14 11:52:29 AM by jdj42

326. It's far from unusual for soldiers to stand in place while their enemies take aim at them.

327. Zombies can only be decapitated while they're "alive".

328: Putting 3 rubies/sapphires/emeralds/what-have-you in a row together will send them to the void, where they will never ever be recovered again.

edited 6th Feb '15 7:48:28 PM by WilliamRadarStorm

329. Hijacking a vehicle moving full speed by smashing through its windshield is not only the fastest way to do so, but also completely harmless to you and causes no change in the aerodynamics of the said vehicle.

330. Sometimes, you can run forever. Other times, you have stamina to contend with. Regardless, you can't Sprint and shoot at the same time (unless you slide).

330A: And sometimes the distance you're able to run is dependent on the battery of your flashlight.

331. You can ride on the back of a pigeon or a loach.

332. Accepting your flaws gives you an awesome summon

333: Throwing the thousand-ton robot tyrannosaurus rex with swords won't cause any collateral damage! Don't worry about the civilians either, they ran away ages ago because evacuating is flawless in the MGRR universe!

334. It just takes one kiss to make a baby.