Take That / SCP Foundation

Some objects in Foundation custody have low opinions on certain subjects and will gladly express them if they can.

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• When a Yen modified to bear a QR code for Bitcoin was put in SCP-261 as part of a test, a pre-packaged Oreo Creme pie slice was given out, called "Pie in the Sky". On top of floating towards the ceiling of the chamber, it was low-calorie.
• SCP-504 are a unique species of tomato that violently hurl themselves at any bad joke/pun within earshot, to the point where they've been known to kill people or vaporize computer monitors for a sufficiently bad pun. One 504 instance immediately annihilated a Dane Cook CD when it started to play, and another 504 instance responded with "confusion" over the SNL "Sarah Palin & Hillary Clinton" sketch (the researchers theorized that the latter reaction was because SCP-504 was unsure if it was supposed to "take it seriously" or not).
• There's a lot of examples from the testing log for SCP-914, which are full of in-jokes, sly references, and the occasional snarky output from 914.
  • When a Samsung Galaxy Note 7 (a smartphone infamous for a battery defect that caused it to catch fire or even explode) was put through on the 1:1 setting, a live hand grenade was released in response.
  • Feeding it a Crossword Puzzle resulted in 914 actually responding with frustrated confusion, and then finally ejecting the crossword at high velocity and on fire. The attending researcher even noted that he could relate.
  • Likewise, not even 914 can assemble IKEA furniture correctly. Higher levels result in a chair that is almost correct, with evidence that someone had been banging on it in frustration. Trying again on Very Fine with words of encouragement resulted in 914 creating an automaton do to it instead. Said automaton was also unable to do so. Again, the attending researcher expressed sympathy. A separate test with a different furniture set resulted in the parts being assembled in the shape of a giraffe and a set of origami throwing stars made from the instructions that shot out of the output booth at speeds of up to 526 km per hour, hitting the unfortunate researcher in multiple places, including the face and the crotch.
  • Putting a Steam gift card through it on Fine results in the user being given Monopoly money.
  • Entering a sheet of paper with the Global Occult Coalition's symbol resulted in a drawing of a monkey chewing on the barrel of a loaded gun, and a sheet with Prometheus Labs' symbol resulted in a drawing of a giant setting itself on fire.
  • Entering a copy of Sonic Forces resulted in a completely blank cartridge, which researchers described as an improvement.
• SCP-953, a malignant fox of Korean folklore, killed Agent Gallagher for being an Otaku. Other otaku and those connected with furry fandoms now need special permission to work with her.
• SCP-1059 is a Take That against SCP writers who use the Censor Box too much.
• SCP-1475 is a Take That against the 90% of Your Brain trope; he has complete conscious control over all his brain functions, but not only is his body coordination so poor that he's considered less capable of escaping than a normal person, but he must manually operate his vital bodily systems at all times to survive.
• SCP-1803 is one to Are We Cool Yet?. 9 9 9 9 9 9.
• According to the article's author, SCP-2020 is a minor one aimed at the process of trying to write in terms of "take a cliche and add a twist", and generally attempting to direct trope usage rather than writing organically. To further clarify, the real reason that SCP-2020 can't get past the brainstorming stage isn't because of them having too many ideas, but because that aforementioned method just isn't how writing works.
• SCP-2726 is a dead member of Gamers Against Weed that had their soul uploaded onto the Internet. A good part of the interview in the article is about the G.A.W. member ripping into Black Mirror (specifically "Be Right Back" from Series 2), and how its criticisms of technology are shallow and the scenarios unimaginative and limited.
• SCP-2872 seems to be one at commenters who grumble about "coddling" living SCPs and point out the Foundation is "not a hotel"… since a researcher following the "NOTAHOTEL" memo and simply locking SCP-2872 up in a cell resulted in it not only breaching containment but it possibly destroying the Earth in a few years.
• invoked While the author of the actual article has maintained that this wasn't necessarily their intent when writing it, many commenters have noted that the ending speech of SCP-3143 In Defence Of Storytelling and Willing Suspension of Disbelief can be read as a Take That! to nit-picking CinemaSins-style "critics" offering half-baked hot takes tearing down other artworks.
• SCP-3236 (a machine that allows its user to have an Erotic Dream where they have sex with an abstract concept) has its user describe the "Capitalism" command test results with "I don't remember anything about it other than the fact that I just got fucked", and a test with the command "Los Angeles Police Department" was "frightening and brutal".
• SCP-3512 is meant to be a middle finger directed at the misogyny within the seduction/pick-up artist community.
• SCP-4493, which edits or hijacks corporate social media accounts when they post in support of Pride Month to out them for all of the ways said company hurts or profits from the suffering of the LGBT community, serves as one for Hypocrite corporate Pride Month posts. The SCP itself also kills two police officers named after RPC Authority community members Blairin and Enkrum that had allegedly harassed the author for homophobic reasons.
• Elon Musk is mentioned as having been killed by SCP-4669, and no one is shown to be shedding tears over his death. Even bluntfiend of Gamers Against Weed (who was initially a strong opponent to Ms. Zapatista) dismissively calls Musk "that Afrikaner piece of shit" at one point in the article.
• When Dr. Papertainment gives a relatively accurate description on how the ancient Egyptians built the Pyramids of Giza (his only deviation from history is how the ancient Egyptians supposedly used genetically engineered giants to help move some of the blocks), he snarkily notes "Better than saying it was aliens, right?"
• SCP-5004 is an extended one to Donald Trump, with the interview snippet serving as an extended showcase of his many unpleasant aspects.
  • The article also serves as one towards American society at large. The thing that ultimately pushes Dr. Light over the edge into despair-induced drinking is the fact that the Foundation's efforts to manipulate the American people into voting for Trump were completely pointless since the voter base had no problem electing him without their efforts.
• SCP-5442 features the "Reagan Plan" as a plot point; it's a directive by the Foundation to dismantle and liquidate all U.S. agencies and infrastructure dedicated to the containment of the anomalous (such as the UIU and the department that serves as the basis of the article) in the event that an incoming presidential administration is too inept or corrupt to behave responsibly with the anomalous; while never enacted, all three Reagan plans mentioned were drafted up for Republican presidents.
• SCP-5500 contains a major Take That! to the popular Joke Tale "The Things Doctor Bright Is Not Allowed To Do At The Foundation", deriding it as "somewhat funny, somewhat offensive, and somewhat disgusting." Furthermore, it's later revealed that Bright's Flanderization due to that list and their reaction as a fictional character upon reading it is the primary reason why the In-Universe Doctor Jack Bright performed a Face–Heel Turn and started killing off the site's Authors (beginning with their own) out of vengeance for being viewed/written as a "hypersexed psychopath."
  • Additionally, the Wanderer's Library is described as being in such disrepair due to the Death of the Authors that one of the Librarians has been reduced to "trying to find entertainment in Harry Potter."
  • The article as a whole is also filled with numerous Take That, Audience! moments, mocking the readers for being a terrible Caustic Critic horde who glorify Series 1 SCPs and increasingly ignore/dismiss more recent SCPs (like those found in Series 6).
• SCP-5659 was written by a Polish author as a stab at the Polish government's anti-LGBTQIA+ policies. The "lust and hatred" that the SCP was born from is meant to be politicians' lust for power, and their platform of hatred. It was defeated by a "spontaneous civilian rally" - a Pride parade - on Valentine's Day, an expression of tolerance, acceptance, and love.
• SCP-5740 is a jab at American police officers who take advantage of their position to harass, threaten, and assault random people for little or no reason. It's a donut shop that advertises specifically to police and dispenses free donuts. Anyone else who uses the machine gets a normal donut, but cops who eat the donuts will find themselves shitting out full-sized live pigs from their rectums a few hours later, with bigger pigs coming out of officers who've committed more crimes. Some of those pigs are 400-500 pounds.
• SCP-6140 is, to quote commenter DrBleep, "a multi-layered commentary on how Western non-fiction histories tend to erase, reduce, or wash away the complexities of entire civilizations and cultures," that attacks racism, Orientalism, cultural appropriation, and stereotyping. It reframes the classic SCP-140 in a new light. The book was written by a racist British white man who grossly misrepresented and appropriated the Daevite culture (by writing under a fraudulent Daevite pen name, no less), and on top of that nearly successfully erased the real culture from reality so that his slanderous and inaccurate ethnology is the correct one. It's also reminiscent of how Real Life cultural and religious beliefs are appropriated and twisted by extremist/racist/otherwise bigoted groups to suit their own beliefs, as the Children of the Scarlet King wanted to resurrect the (fraudulent) Daevite Empire for their gain.
• SCP-100-J is described as the origin of bad SCPs, including overly-powerful joke realty benders, weapons that make the wielder incredibly powerful, or objects that are dangerous just for the sake of being dangerous. This is accompanied by saying how said SCPs were destroyed, either completely nonchalantly or ironically (for instance, a guy who could wield every weapon like an expert was given SCP-572, a badly-made sword that makes the user feel overconfident; he ended up decapitating himself). Oh, and what is the origin of these bad SCPs? A pile of equine fecal matter. AKA, horseshit.
• Clef (the writer) once came across a Reality Bender that annoyed him so much that he had his fictional counterpart team up with Dr. Kondraki to kill it very thoroughly. This set a precedent for Running Gag where this became a standard method of disposing of egregiously overpowered stuff like reality benders (at least until the Mass Edit).
• SCP-371-J is a joke article that takes a jab at the fact that the SCP Foundation subreddit at r/scp seems to talk almost exclusively about SCPs within Series 1, with SCP-173 especially being focused upon.
• SCP-1550-J is a long jab at X-Men. It's a wheelchair that turns anyone who sits down in it into Professor X, and spreads an "X-Men effect" that alters other SCPs.
  All humanoid SCPs on location will gradually become more handsome and appealing. They will all drop in age until they are teenagers. Women's breast sizes will grow. [...] Each humanoid SCP will insist on being called a made-up nickname in some way pertaining to their power. These monikers are often cheesy, but the SCPs don't seem to notice this and use them with pride. [...] The SCP's abilities will become vastly oversimplified, and lose all scientific basis.
• SCP-4444-J is basically a Take That directed at Gaia Online's SCP Roleplay Guild. Clef the real-life author found it horribly un-clinical in tone and rife with horrifically OP stuff.
• SCP-6327-J is a bronze stele that causes anyone who comes close to it to develop Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness and any text that comes in contact with it to elongate and become similarly verbose. The top page image used to show a copy of Atlas Shrugged, with the caption informing us that before its exposure to SCP-6327-J, it used to be a post-it note on which was written "I hate poor people."
• The list of things Dr. Bright is not allowed to do at the Foundation has an entry claiming that actually funny SNL skits cannot be SCPs, as they do not actually exist.
• According to the Scarlet King in "Dust and Shopper's Rewards," Walmart is the closest place on Earth to the Darkness Below.
• SCP-TTKU-J (which is a thing that kills you) is a satire of low-effort "dangerous Keter-class SCP" entries. SCP-TTKU-J is completely undescribed, except for the fact that it is sentient, and wants to kill you specifically^note anyone logged into the wiki will find a custom message from SCP-TTKU-J about how much it wants to specifically kill the person reading the entry and the entry mostly contains a description of how killing you would be bad and several ways in which SCP-TTKU-J would nonetheless try to kill you.
• SCP-100000-J, titled "Procedure 110-Overkill", is a jab at excessive containment procedures and every poorly-written Godzilla Threshold. This one features a containment area with a 100-kilometer radius, with an electrified, irradiated, and artillery-backed perimeter fence; all of this for a single bacterium. The procedure for dealing with anyone who enters this perimeter involves incinerating the intruder twice over, soaking their remains in bleach solution, containing them in multiple layers of material with the Lord's Prayer written in blood on the outer layer, and launching the whole thing into the Sun. And in the event of a containment breach? Create a cluster of black holes that will end the world, because it's somehow better than what SCP-100000-J could possibly do!
• SCP-6004, a giant serpent which acts as Gaia's Vengeance, mentions that during the anomaly's rampage in Australia, it specifically targeted the Australian Parliament and hurled some members, including Scott Morrison (who has been perceived as being indifferent to the climate crisis and unwilling to make reforms responding to it), into orbit. The author has stated in the forum discussion posts that the article was written in response to environmental crises such as the Australian bushfires, and as an outlet for their frustration against apathetic world leaders in general and Morrison in particular.
• SCP-6211 is Paul McCartney's "Wonderful Christmastime," the idea being that it is literally so unbelievably awful that anyone who listens to it is automatically driven into a homicidal rage. The overall concept may also be a potshot at Christmas pop music in general.
• SCP-1283-RU (link in Russian) was written as a backlash against more rigid standards of writing present at the Russian branch and more humorous objects generally being looked down upon there, as well as somewhat condesceding attitude towards the original English-language Foundation writings. It's a crude drawing of a bee (actually taken from a Vinesauce Joel stream) that makes those who contact with it perform completely random actions mostly related to bees. Several researchers suggest re-assigning its number to something else more worthy of containing, even going as far as to doubt its status as a true SCP object. One of them eventually receives a vicious "The Reason You Suck" Speech in an email from an AWCY artist who originally designed the piece (which reads a lot like Leaning on the Fourth Wall), and the object is neutralized (allegedly from being destroyed in a fire) not long after.
  You're probably sitting there at the Site on your cast iron chairs in your concrete wall offices and mumbling the mantra to yourself: "Nonsense won't pass, nonsense won't pass".
  What happened to your old curiosity? How about "Secure, Contain, Protect?"
  Dealing with Americans is much easier. At least because they didn't make up the unspoken rules of seriousness and absolute rigidness for themselves.
• SCP-5952 is a commentary on the "troubled teen" school industry, whose environments are frequently neglectful and abusive. 5952 turns out to be the true hero of the story who sneaks out the kids and sends them to live with new families, while the WWSCSTT was never acting in anyone's interest but their own and successfully uses the Hierophant Accord to strongarm the Foundation into weakening their containment procedures and use both violence and bureaucracy to cover up all of their wrongdoings. A Call-Back to SCP-2987 also implies Marshall, Carter, & Dark is ultimately responsible for the woes that enables the WWSCSTT to gain the upper hand over the Foundation, which can be interpreted as a parallel to how these schools are often ran and connected to for profit.
• SCP-6484 is an extended pisstake of philosopher Micheal Foucault, with the SCP mimicking Foucault's writing style to mock him and portraying the man himself as a member of the giftschreiber, a Group of Interest that uses anomalous writing practices to attempt to spread chaos in the world.
• The site has a huge dislike of TheRubber, an animation channel that covers their articles, due to them changing aspects of SCPs and erasing any minority groups that appear in them. So far, the following jabs have been inserted into articles:
  • SCP-5040 has a RAISA notice that mentions a "Mr. Rubber" who changed the SCP's codename (the film's Japanese title, translating to "Tears of Blood") and was promptly punished by having to scrub toilets.
  • SCP-5031 was updated to include a warning about a parasitic cognitohazard where symptoms include associating the monster with Spirited Away, which TheRubber did for their video on 5031. The warning explicitly says that following Rubber's guidance is a sign of permanent brain damage.
  • "Director House is a Cracker (And Other Lies You Can Tell Yourself)" is author Rounderhouse's reaction to his Author Avatar being portrayed as white (he is a person of color.) It mostly consists of Director House looking for the Undervegas junior researcher responsible for the depiction in-universe (a "Rob Berr") so that he can break his legs.
• "Conviction" is an Everett Mann tale that ends with the Administrator cracking a joke that briefly makes Mann think the Foundation caused The Holocaust, which the former picks up on. This is a potshot at the previous version of the tale, which was about the Foundation doing just that for real and even giving Historical Hero Upgrades to various Nazi leaders.
• "BRC-Cast 243: A Nice Content Farm Upstate" is a rant by SCP-2085's author Djoric through 2085's constituent members against SCP Explained's video on the article, using its MST format to call out the video's erasure of the article's messaging that the Foundation's humanoid containment procedures have the potential to become unreasonably inhumane. It also calls out the conspicuous absence of Hana's suicidal tendencies, yet another casualty of how channels like SCP Explained strip away often-vital mature plot points to distill articles into scripts for children.
• For April Fools' Day 2023, the wiki transformed itself into a parody of Smogon, a competitive analysis site for the Pokémon games, partially to take a jab at the portion of the fandom that's full of Power-Scalers.

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