"So, so, I told Gary that I was going
on this vacation, so he goes, 'Well, then I'm goin' hunting with Jeff next weekend.' Well, that's when we were at knives. And then Lou sang 'Fernando
', and then Gary—oh, he sings so good. You should meet Jeff sometime. Do you like Barry Manilow
songs? I know the farmers need rain, but when it's damp like this, my hair just explodes—just ex-puh-lodes
! Oooh, I'm feelin' kinda gassy; McNuggets, y'know, they make me so gassy, all that grease and all. It really helps if you drink eight to ten glasses of water a day; did you know that? Sometimes I drink five; sometimes I drink nine just to make up for the other three I didn't drink. Oh, coffee and diet drinks don't count either. Y'know, this is pretty country, isn't it? Y'know, it's really kind of a blessing in disguise that I didn't get accepted to college, yeah. You know, I'm gonna have to revise my twenty-year plan, but—oh, did I tell you about my twenty-year plan? Okay, well, okay, listen here. In year one, this is the year when I'm going to take off those extra seven pounds—you know, that's equal to seven pounds of butter, huh-huh! So it's like I'm wearing seven pounds of butter, ha-ha! And, uh—oh, oh, where was I? Oh, oh, yeah. So my aunt and uncle here, they celebrated their twentieth anniversary, and my uncle wanted to sing, uh, 'Sunrise, Sunset
'—he wanted me
to sing that, and I haven't sung that since Cindy's wedding, and, well, she never thanked me for that—well, I'm still—uh, well, y'know, she's probably really busy and all, but..."