Sir Humphrey: "I wonder if I might crave your momentary indulgence in order to discharge a by no means disagreeable obligation which has, over the years, become more or less established practice in government service as we approach the terminal period of the year — calendar, of course, not financial — in fact, not to put too fine a point on it, Week Fifty-One — and submit to you, with all appropriate deference, for your consideration at a convenient juncture, a sincere and sanguine expectation — indeed confidence — indeed one might go so far as to say hope — that the aforementioned period may be, at the end of the day, when all relevant factors have been taken into consideration, susceptible to being deemed to be such as to merit a final verdict of having been by no means unsatisfactory in its overall outcome and, in the final analysis, to give grounds for being judged, on mature reflection, to have been conducive to generating a degree of gratification which will be seen in retrospect to have been significantly higher than the general average."
Jim Hacker: "Are you trying to say "Happy Christmas," Humphrey?"
Sir Humphrey: "Prime Minister, I must protest in the strongest possible terms my profound opposition to a newly instituted practice which imposes severe and intolerable restrictions upon the ingress and egress of senior members of the hierarchy and which will, in all probability, should the current deplorable innovation be perpetuated, precipitate a constriction of the channels of communication, and culminate in a condition of organisational atrophy and administrative paralysis which will render effectively impossible the coherent and co-ordinated discharge of the functions of government within Her Majesty's United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland!"
Jim Hacker: "You mean you've lost your key?"
Which is to say, how it goes
Couched in terms no one knows
And as if the choice were slim
As if there's no synonym
—They Might Be Giants, "Contrecoup"
Reed: I couldn't have said it better myself Johnny.
Johnny: Yes you could, you just woulda used bigger words.
Brink: Come here, you phlegm-carapaced, slime-faced, mucus-brained, furry legged abductor of luminously intelligent but pulchritudinous Earth women!
Brink: Low, you idiot! Why are you standing there?
Low: I'm still trying to figure out what you said.
"Solicitations malefactors! I am endeavouring to misappropriate the formulary for the preparation of affordable comestibles! WHO WILL JOIN ME!?" (gets promptly beaten up by barroom thugs he was attempting to enlist)
— Plankton, SpongeBob SquarePants
"I'm sorry, Yuan-Ti have a high intelligence compared to most humanoids and in my case, it causes me to fall victim to an exponentially redundant vocabulary when I become nervous."
— Kin, Goblins - Life Through Their Eyes
"Would you shut up? No one talks like that! You don't sound smart, you sound like an idiot!"
— Takn, to Kin a few strips later
Massey: Sergeant Schlock... What an exciting opportunity you have provided. Never before... Not during law school, not during my six years in private practice, not even working as a Public Defender... Never have I been privileged to give a subordinate a "dressing down." Such a momentous occasion deserves a diatribe inspired by tragic Melpomene, or perhaps comedic Thalia, framed within the gifts of Polyhymnia's oratory and rhetoric. In that same Hellenic vein, I have mused upon the upbraiding to be administered, pondered the possible punishments... And found, to my lament this condign castigation must be meet for your particularly picayune patois.
Massey: You idiot. We are going to get sued for your little shoot-'em-up, and it is going to BREAK us. Now go to bed and dream of poverty. I've got work to do.
Ebbirnoth: Well? How'd it go?
Schlock: Massey beat me up with big words.
If you want to advance in management you have to convince other people that you're smart. This is accomplished by substituting incomprehensible jargon for common words. For example, a manager would never say, "I used my fork to eat a potato." A manager would say, "I utilized a multitined tool to process a starch resource." The two sentences mean almost the same thing, but the second one is obviously from a smarter person.
— Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle
"An exigiously more sedulous management of even etoliated phrenic sinews would evulgate your heterization as latent."
— Reggie tells some new friends that they aren't as mutated as him, Major Bummer
"Here's your Saying A Word No One Else In The Room Knows Patch."
— Milly to fellow Fireside Girl Gretchen, Phineas and Ferb
"Say, any of you boys smithies? Or, if not smithies per se, were you otherwise trained in the metallurgic arts before straitened circumstances forced you into a life of aimless wanderin'?"
— Ulysses Everett McGill, O Brother, Where Art Thou?
Leonardo: Sounds like you've got everything covered, Donny.
Michelangelo: Yeah, especially the big words!
Barney: I'm telling you: Within three days...
Lily: Oh, here he comes— switch to big words.
Barney: Within a triad of solar periods, you'll recognize your dearth of compatibility with your paramour and conclude your association.
Robin: My journey was transformative, and I reassert my commitment to both the aforementioned paramour, and the philosophies he espouses.
Gael: What are we talking of? Baseball?
Barney: This is all going to return to masticate you in the gluteals. Support my hypothesis, Ted.
I've had enough of your snide insinuations. (punch)
—Shepard, punching out a reporter, Mass Effect 1
I've had enough of your disingenuous assertions! (punch)
—Shepard, punching out the same reporter, Mass Effect 2
"And so I, Mojo Jojo, impart upon you the empowerment of Mo' Linguish! And with this power, you will no longer speak in brief, boring, abbreviated sentences, but instead will wow the crowds with your scintillating usage of an overabundance of nouns, verbs, adjectives, pronouns, prepositions, and of course the Conjunction Junctions which have a multiple of functions."
Okey dokey, Mr. Vocabulary, what does "pistol-whip" mean?
—Crow T. Robot, Mystery Science Theater 3000: Teenage Crime Wave
Lorenz: My monumental thoughts' manifestations - which are realized in the form of sentences - are not always acceptable for your limited mental capabilities. The continuity of our dialogue is therefore interrupted. Synthesis of arguments does not occur.
Neon: ...say what? What am I doing here?
Lorenz: Good question. But far from being the most relevant one. A more interesting one would be what am I doing here sitting on chairmats, without a bed, table or food. Or - as you would notice - without a detailed TV program guide either.
"My introduction will be sparse. There will be no majestic prose blustering into the sails of a galleon as we embark upon this voyage together."
—Rose Lalonde, Homestuck
Elizabeth: Captain Barbossa, I am here to negotiate the cessation of hostilities against Port Royal.
Barbossa: There were a lot of long words in there, Miss. We're naught but humble pirates! What is it that you want?
Elizabeth: I want you to leave and never come back.
Barbossa: I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request.
Barbossa: Means "no".
"Scintillate, scintillate diminutive stellar orb. How inexplicable to me seems this stupendous problem of your existence. Elevated at such at an immeasurable distance, in an apparently perpendicular direction from this terrestrial planet which we occupy. Resembling in thy dazzling and unapproachable effulgence, a gem of purest carbon, set solitaire in a university of space."
—King Friday XIII note
Doctor Manhattan: "At this point, I am obligated to inform you that I am a DC in order to differentiate between our companies. However, both companies exist in the same plane of reality, both contains the same number of particles. Structurally, there is no discernible differences."
Wolverine: Wow, who wouldn't pay to see that for 3 hours?
— I'm a Marvel... And I'm a DC: Wolverine and Watchmen (Dr. Manhattan)
Michael Aspel: It has the whiff of verisimilitude.
Angus Deayton: I think he's saying it's true.
Lovecraft is wonderfully distinct, and I love him to bits, but the more of his work you read, the more you determine that his main strength is in writing in the uniquely self-indulgent Lovecraft style. (What, another gambrel rooftop? The moon is, wait, let me guess - gibbous? The ruins — Cyclopean? Their geometry — hideous and inhuman? And then he goes and coins the word "hippocephalic" for no good reason.)
"The trouble with you, Hank, is that you can't understand anybody who doesn't use ten-syllable words!"
— Bobby Drake, X-Men #7
"Write it in English, not in Pentagonese. It's not a launcher, rifle cartridge, 7.62mm; it's a rifle. Call it a compass, not a direction-finding module. And if someone insists on being called AdcomphibsPac, the Fact File should explain to those not gifting in garblespeak that he's talking about the administrative office of the communication services for amphibious forces in the Pacific."
— Preface to The United States Department of Defense Fact File
Calvin: Well, I've never heard of [the word hasp], and I don't like you using big words around me!
Hobbes: It's not a big word, Calvin. It only has four letters.
Calvin: Right. And I've warned you about using four lettered words, Hobbes. For you see, four letter words are casual, and unsophisticated! If we want to sound sophisticated, we must not use four lettered words! Am I making myself clear?
Vince McMahon: Hunter has injured his prominent proboscis.note
Jerry "The King" Lawler: Not only that, but he hurt his nose.
—WWF Monday Night Raw, 1996
Cloudchaser: What exactly does this machine do?
Twilight Sparkle: This is an anemometer, it measures your accelerative velocity and translates it into wing power, thus gauging your cumulative H2O anti-gravitational potential. (Claps hooves happily) Any other questions?
Flitter: Yeah. (to Spike): what exactly does this machine do?
Spike: It tells you how fast you're flying and how strong your wings are.
Crowd (as Twilight gives an annoyed pout): Oh, oh yeah.
Perceptor: Ultra Magnus, a cursory evaluation of Decepticon capability indicates a distinct tactical deficiency!
Ultra Magnus: In other words, Perceptor?
Springer: We're outnumbered!
Helen: Are you going to let me speak?
Yale: Of course dear, I'm just allowing you time to formulate your thoughts into a coherent structure.
Captain Amelia: [to Doppler] Let me make this as... monosyllabic as possible. I... don't much care for this crew you hired. They're... [to Arrow] how did I describe them, Arrow? I said something rather good this morning before coffee.
Mr. Arrow: 'A ludicrous parcel of driveling galoots,' ma'am.
Captain Amelia: [to Doppler] There you go, poetry.
Piccolo: Listen up, runt! Today we're going to commence your intense training under me.
Gohan: But wait. Wouldn't that cause horrible muscle degeneration for somebody my age, crippling me for years to come?
Piccolo: ... you're a wordy little bastard, aren't you?
"NASA-ese is no worse than Air Force-ese or State Department-ese; I suppose each has its place, although none of them seems a desirable substitute for English. Examine the sentence "Jones and Smith don't get along well" translated into: (1) Air Force-ese: 'It is considered that effective utilization of the potential allegiance between Jones and Smith is not being harmoniously exploited"; (2) Nasa-ese: 'The interface between Jones and Smith has gone divergent"' (3) State Department-ese: "Messrs. Jones and Smith's abrasiveness vis-a-vis each other is counter productive to their bilateral relationship; each considers the other a bete noir."
—Michael Collins, Carrying the Fire
Teddy Bridgewater: Tsk tsk, my fine Houston fellows. There’s no need to lament the misfortune you suffered during that fateful selection process. Your failure to secure my services for your gridiron endeavors is in the past now, like so much "water under the bridge." Tee-hee. I hope you rascals enjoyed my oh-so-clever wordplay on that comment. Oh, but I do enjoy a hearty pun.
Jay Cutler: What the hell is he babbling about?
Colin Kaepernick: I think this Bridgewater idiot wants his “thing” to be, “Guy that talks like he’s gargling a thesaurus.”