Quotes: Faux Affably Evil

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    Anime and Manga 

"Oh, hello Ilena. What's wrong? You seem to be missing an arm. Ah, here it is. You can have it back. You really shouldn't leave things lying around."

    Comic Books 

Prometheus: What's The Joker like?
Lex Luthor: Frighteningly sick in the head, but strangely compelling company.
JLA #38

    Film - Live-Action 

"I don't want war! All I want is peace! Peace! Peace!...
A little piece of Poland,
A little piece of France,
A little piece of Austria
And Hungary, perchance!
A little slice of Turkey
And all that that entails,
And then a bit of England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales!"
Adolph Hitler, The Producers

"I know you care about him. I've never seen you like this about anyone, so please don't get me wrong when I tell you that Tom, while being a very nice guy, is the Devil."
Aaron, Broadcast News

    Literature 

"His eyes did not smile when his mouth did."
Sansa Stark on Littlefinger, A Song of Ice and Fire

"Dracula's smile was persuasive, but behind it were his teeth."

"The important thing is, Hiro, that you have to understand the Mafia way. And the Mafia way is that we pursue larger goals under the guise of personal relationships."
Fisheye, Snow Crash

"I've adopted a strategy of pleasantness. It turns out that one can perpetrate all manner of heinous villainy under a cloak of courtesy and good cheer. It seems a man will forfeit all sensible self-interest if he finds you affable enough to share your company over a flagon of ale."
Edmund, Fool

"His beard and his brows were white, and the cast of his face was mild and wise, but his eyes were as hard as hailstones... Mabruk's semblance of affability vanished like a spark on snow, and with the same sound. His whole face became like his eyes."

"While outwardly Tarn seemed charming, Bond got the impression that the charm was less than skin deep. Beneath the surface lay something malignant; an undertow of bleak, unbalanced evil mixed with the undeniable charisma."
SeaFire

"Other stories tell how I eat innocent newborns, how I'm ten feet tall, how I breathe fire and have great dragon wings. None of those are wholly accurate. I don't have dragon wings, I don't breathe fire, I only eight feet tall and I've never eaten a newborn that didn't have it coming. My name is Mevolent. What's yours?"
Skulduggery Pleasant: Kingdom of the Wicked

"Plumm had an amiable look to him, especially when he smiled. The faithful retainer, every man's favorite nuncle, full of chuckles and old sayings and roughspun wisdom. It was all a sham. Those smiles never reached Plumm's eyes, where greed hid behind a veil of caution."
Tyrion Lannister's thoughts about the mercenary Brown Ben Pulmm, A Song of Ice and Fire.

    Live-Action TV 

"He sees the lighter side of everything!"

"How would you feel if I killed your family? [smiling] Oh, that's right, I forgot. I did. Still, two wrongs don't make a right."
Azazel, Supernatural, "Devil's Trap"

    Theatre 

O villain, villain, smiling, damned villain!
My tables, - meet it is I set it down,
That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain.
Hamlet

    Video Games 

Bah! You're a traitor to your country and yet you still stand there trying to be eloquent!
King Corlo, Wonder Project J

Handsome Jack: Jimmy, please make a note: I'm strangling Mister Moorin for bringing up my wife.
Mister Blake: (scribbling) ... Mister Moorin...
Handsome Jack: No, no, Jimmy, choking is something you do when you eat too fast. As I'm crushing Mister Moorin's windpipe with my watch chain, what I'm doing is actually referred to as strangling.

Hoyt: I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR FAMILY. It is by my grace that your head isn't impaled on the antenna of my car! Therefore, I would like it if you gave a fuck about Jason Brody!
Vaas: Okay, Hoyt. Okay, alright.
Hoyt: Fantastic! (beat) I am really loving this weather. What's the name of the village down the road? Beras Town? A bunch of native sympathizers. They stole a transportation manifest that's close to my heart. I'd like to pay them a visit. Nice to see you, Vaas.

"Forgive me. I don't believe we've met."
Gehn after shooting the player, Riven

James: Charlotte's got Mithras stashed away somewhere safe now. He says Charnel's been summoning demons to aid Marduk.
Charnel: He lies! Do not believe anything he says!
James: ... What if he tells me you're a villain?
Charnel: ... Don't believe anything else he has to say!

"Shhhh...it's okay to be afraid."
Scarecrow, Batman: Arkham Knight

    Webcomics 

"Jillian was finally coming to realize that Wanda was right about Dame Branch's charm. Her kindness was an act, a weapon, a tool."

"When I am finished with this minor interruption, we will resume our gentlemanly negotiation. I will proceed to beat you severely until you agree to do what I ask. I trust you won't take it personally."

Redcloak: Our alliance with Xykon is one of the most important tools we have, and we cannot afford to screw that up. That does NOT mean we should trust him. I know he seems funny and charming, but believe me, when you've seen for yourself the depth to which he'll sink—
(Description Cut to Tsukiko putting on a show of Reanimated Gladiators)
Xykon: I love it, but can we get more silver spandex on those costumes?
(back to)
Redcloak: —you will never sleep well again.

We want to kill you each in a unique and horrible way while the others look on. But first, let's get to know each other.
Shufgar, Schlock Mercenary

    Web Original 

"Adrian Brody is some black ops soldier who is literally dropped into a new planet along with other soldiers and killers... They also have a failed plot twist with Topher Grace who plays a humble doctor who is so nice and hasn't killed anyone at all and if you haven't figured out the plot twist by now you haven't seen a movie ever."
Miles Antwiler on Predators

"Sure, she steals things that are pretty hard to steal, but then she gives you clues on how to find her, just because it's sportsmanlike."

"Whether itís the classical music playing in the background, the omelette or the fine suits, Fisk repeatedly asserts his own humanity and civility. No matter where the day takes him, no matter how it plays out, Fisk at least starts the day as a refined and cultured gentleman. It is a lie, but it is no greater a lie than that told by Matt Murdock."

"Don't you know it's dangerous to walk alone at night? Someone like me might find you. Poor girl never saw it coming. Slash across her tummy - stomach contents everywhere! ♥ "
Viral Renegade

"Oh, believe me, I am bad... I just like being polite about it! Ehe!"

"Arianaís own mom thought she was going to be a serial killer. She warned us! I bet that wicked child wishes hoes who cross her into the cornfield. The cornfield might seem like itís a nice place since Ariana isnít there, but I doubt she lets her enemies off that easy. Her music probably plays on a loop in the cornfield."
Michael K., "Ariana Grande Latte Really Loves And Appreciates Her Fans (And I Mean The Opposite Of That, Of Course)"

"You look stressed, Vader! You appear to be in pain. You need a vacation-here, take a trip on my train..."
Adolf Hitler, Epic Rap Battles of History, "Adolf Hitler vs. Darth Vader 2"

Shaka Zulu: I've got the strength of a lion and the speed of a cheetah, and we all know you're just a chicken, Caesar.
Julius Caesar: Ooh, can I be a hyena? Because I'm going to laugh when I pave roads with the bones of your goat-herding ass.
Epic Rap Battles of History, "Shaka Zulu vs. Julius Caesar"

"I'm sorry. Every now and then I get these little slips of humanity, but I make sure to crush them as soon as possible."

    Western Animation 

Dear Jack:
LOOK BEHIND YOU.
Love,
Aku ♥

    Real Life 

"Charlie was always preaching love. Charlie had no idea what love was. Charlie was so far from love it wasn't even funny. Death is Charlie's trip. It really is."
—Testimony of Paul Watkins, People v. Charles Manson

"Dukat is not a nice man. He is not a sensitive man. He likes to act like a sensitive man, but he's a man of appetites to whom public image is very important, much more important than the truth."


Alternative Title(s):

Evilly Affable