Noodle Incident / Web Original

• Bad Lip Reading has a few.
  And I made no friends buying the spork!
  Hey, you remember that costume party? You went as a penguin and I went as a pink shark.
  The tiny clown got weird. I was talking to a psychic.
  I once knew a kid whose tongue fell off in his sleep, bibidy-bibidy-biddum
• Sketch has sent out two memos to the rest of the cult. It's never quite clear exactly what the point of them is, besides Sketch fulfilling her duties as Dark Lord by being arbitrarily angry about nothing. The rest of the cult has invariably responded with extreme confusion and both memos have caused members to question their leader, simply because they tend not to make any sense.
• According to Brownie's profile, one of the reasons to why she hates Madgie is surmised as "between her, Madgie, Toki, and the stairs".
• CinemaSins is fond of sinning such incidents as a passive-aggressive means of insulting the movie.
  Mac: Flensburg. There were twice as many.
  "Indy makes a casual reference to an adventure that would easily have been a better movie than this one."
• During Civil Protection: Halloween safety.
  Dave: Oh man. Like that time we went to the Arbuckle Residence and in the basement found those three dead—
  Mike: Shut up Dave! OK next topic...
• C0DA, written by former The Elder Scrolls series writer/designer Michael Kirkbride, takes place in the far distant future of TES universe. The segment dealing with the Videoverse and the "Pseudo-6th-House", essentially a super hero team of Physical Gods including Vivec, Almalexia, Sotha Sil, Dagoth Ur, and Molag Bal, includes a list of their past accomplishments. It is mentioned that they've stopped "Thalmor Superscientists", "Hist Psychopaths", "Tal(os) Masterminds", "Giant planet breathing demons", and more.
• In Code MENT there's the third time Lelouch tried meth, why Suzaku isn't allowed to use scissors anymore and the incident with Lelouch and Suzaku on a Slip N' Slide (which Suzaku set on fire, while Lelouch was on it).
• CollegeHumor uses this fairly often, particularly in their "Hardly Working" series. "The Ultimate Prank," for example, revolves around a noodle plan.
  • In the Jake and Amir video "Trouble", Amir tells Jake that his dad is angry about various unexplained incidents, and Amir seems to have scapegoated Jake for some of them, asking him to "take a hit". For example, there's the duck thing, the high school track fiasco, and the second duck thing.
• In Comic POP's review of Trouble (Marvel Comics), Sal off-handily mentions he was once kidnapped in the Dominican Republic.
• In A Conspiracy of Serpents, Susanoo mentions that he once defeated Yamada by getting him drunk on gallons of saki. Susanoo self-consciously refuses to explain how he managed to do this, even after Hardestadt demands a detailed explanation.
• The Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids stories often refer back to some weird interdimensional war referred to as the Spaghetti Wars, in which some of the older members of the Crew were involved. Little about them was ever explained.
• From the Critical Miss web magazine, the Dysfunctional Gamer Self-Diagnosis Kit lists that you may be a dysfunctional gamer in a dysfunctional group if "You've ever had a character killed in an argument over bog (toilet) roll."
• In the 3rd RP of Darwin's Soldiers, Alfred mentions that he can easily tip over a 3 ton pickup truck. How he knows that is never mentioned.
  • Sgt. Larry Masters is nicknamed Sgt. Pepper. It is not explained how he got that nickname aside from the fact it involved some Tabasco sauce, his uniform and some beer.
• Dawn of a New Age: Oldport Blues:
  • One of the teachers makes mention of a 'Groundhog Incident', involving the government getting called out to scour the school for wild animals.
  • How Devin figured out that he could control acid and had acidic blood. He pointedly tells his friends not to ask when it gets brought up.
  • During the Time Skip that happens in the second day, Jenna is able to eat for the first time since she gained her new bug form. We aren't told what happened, but apparently it was so gross that she suppressed the memory.
• Death Note: The Abridged Series (kpts4tv): Whatever happened in Guatemala... Also Chief Yagami goes "bowling for lucky charms."
• This pic titled "Told you not to do that" has a rather dark one, the which aftermath isn't pretty to look at. What lead to said aftermath isn't clear, although if you look closely, the girl has stitches in her neck.
• From Dirty the Pooh Chapter 1: "For Owl, a testicle case, in case he lost his testicles, because... oh well, it would take too long to explain."
• Doomsday Arcade: Maybe more of a lampshade character: Mario refers to 'The Man Upstairs' he is actually working for throughout the entire series, without giving anything else away. Then at the series finale, Lund completely shatters the wall and explains to several members of the audience that no matter who 'The Man Upstairs' turned out to be, it would be a disappointment. So HE NEVER TELLS US.
• In Doom House, the wife of Reginald P. Linux is implied to have died very tragically in one such incident.
• In Dragon Ball Z Abridged, Freeza and Vegeta have both mentioned (in their thoughts) a "jockstrap incident", and all that we've learned is that at some point Freeza ordered Ginyu to bury something. King Cold also mentions it, apparently something to do with getting 'boxed in.'
  • Again referenced by Freeza during the dodgeball game in HFIL, where he also mentioned it involving a "big red ball". Going off on Guldo about this and refusing to forget about it ("I'll let it go when you die. Again.") led to Guldo getting himself eliminated by Cell. A later episode revealed that whatever Ginyu did, it was heinous enough for King Yenma-no stranger to the sins of mortals-to retch upon reading it.
• Echo Rose: Apparently, Echo broke into her neighbor's yard once.
• In Farce of the Three Kingdoms, whatever happened in Wu during the ten year Time Skip. It involved the heir to the throne changing twice, the Empress being mysteriously murdered, and an Escalating Prank War between Sun Quan and Zhang Zhao that got all the way up to arson. It was apparently a popular TV drama in Wei, but we never get to see it, because the narrator didn't care.
• During their spork of Fifty Shades Freed, Gehayi and Ket Makura of the blog Das_Sporking described their invitation to guest sporkers Elsa and Anna of Disney's Frozen this way:
  GEHAYI: I'm not going to say what it took to persuade the queen and princess of Arendelle except that it involved kittens, the Hubble Telescope, and Ket karaoke.
  KET MAKURA: And a really bad clam. *shudders*
• Although technically a mythology gag, Both Red and Blue allude to an event at the Lake Hylia Water Temple that made going through it more difficult in Episode 3 of Four Swords Misadventures.
• The web series Gayle, about a psychotic, hypercompetitive suburban housewife, features them a-plenty:
  Not to worry, Terry. Can't afford another manslaughter count. Not after what happened at Cinnabon.
• Apparently the disappearance of all the world's coconuts is involved with Growing Around's premise of kids ruling over adults.
• Vork in The Guild doesn't think of himself as a bad man... well, there was that night he spent at a Hitler Youth Camp by accident...
• Memorably used with the aid of Noodle Implements in Tehnoobshow's Guthixscape video.
  Dharok: If you don't come with us, we're gonna tell everyone your secret!
  Zamorak: Wait that was only one night! we had a bit to drink at the Blue moon Inn!
  Saradomin: Yeah, I don't even know where the banana came from!
  Zamorak: And I was only shoving a little!
  Dharok: Yeah! We're gonna tell everyone your first names! Dwayne Zamorak and Alfred Saradomin!
  Saradomin: Oh... that secret... wouldn't want that to get out in the open...
• Hellsing Ultimate Abridged: In episode 2, the Convention Of Twelve are discussing how the Hellsing Organization's budget's money has been wasted by Alucard. The list includes Alucard painting Integra's father's car red with goat's blood, picking up a hooker named "Candi", crashing said car into a Dairy Queen and an undisclosed incident involving a mime.
  Sir Islands: ...And while the mime did survive, he'll never walk again.
• In Help Not Wanted: Remixed Phallic Memories in HD, Groshlar runs into an orc who tells him that he used to "milk horses" when he was younger. Grosh immediately walks away in disgust.
• Highcraft tends to have these frequently come up due to the very intoxicated cast.
  • Peeing in Logan's suitcase is constantly referenced in Highcraft, especially as a threat.^note There is technically an explanation, but not in-series — it comes from a real life incident Logan tweeted about where someone apparently did pee in his suitcase while at TwitchCon, and why or who is never figured out.
  • In "AETHER HIGHCRAFT", "one time I locked Joko in the Nether". This is not elaborated on.
• As a Memetic Mutation that started on certain Image Boards, we have the infamous I accidentally..., where one posts a sentence beginning with the words "I accidentally...", with the verb removed, frequently followed by the question, "Is this bad?". In many cases one can easily guess which verb is meant (often "wrecked" or "destroyed"), e.g. "I accidentally my save file". In other cases it's pretty much a mystery, thus qualifying for this trope: "I accidentally 93MB of .rar files; what should I do… is this dangerous?"
• The play-by-post RP Insane Cafe 3: The Curse of the Haunted Hotel has Mr.Bigmouth mention "The Gravel Pass" incident. It is never fully explained but it is heavily implied to be a friendly fire incident in the Great Valley.
• One episode of Jontron has him trying to call one of the Ghostbusters to come and bust the Ghost of Late Night Television that's haunting his house. Before settling on Dan Aykroyd he figures Bill Murray is too aloof to bother showing up, that Harold Ramis definitely won't show up (due to his death), and assumes Ernie Hudson won't show up because he still hasn't forgiven Jon for farting in the pudding at his Bar Mitzvah.
• Killerbunnies has Malou and something she did with one of her weapons and whatever she did means she cannot go back to Assen.
• In this original fictionpress story a Ouija Board incident is mentioned in chapter 23 of the story. Over 100 chapters later and still no explanation.
• When Pokecapn and Friends did their Let's Play of Sonic Unleashed, the prior LP they'd done was given this treatment, despite the fact that the entire affair is in the public record, and given its notoriety, likely to stay there.
• LoadingReadyRun takes this to the extreme in "You're Kidding" by not even mentioning the "noodles" at all. All we can gather is that Rob won't let anyone see "it," that "all three" were involved, Rob's obvious [REDACTED] wasn't a problem, and this is different from "the other time." It turns out that Rob was just making it up.
• Considering the first season is primarily made up of footage from the Troubled Production of Marble Hornets, we never really get much of what Alex Kralie's student film was really about. Then again, maybe that's for the best.
• MaxterBexter: "Max had a bad encounter with a mojito".
• This entry of memosfromfury.
• The Motley Two has the mysterious incident which ended up with one of the protagonists getting a robotic eye, and the other a robotic arm and leg. No word on what it was, but it happened on Homestuck's Alternia, and violent incidents like these are hardly a rare occurrence on that planet.
• Apparently, the last time Mrs. Snob trusted a guy in a hockey mask, she ended up with a miniature Zamboni shoved up her ass.
• Mr. Gibbs: In ''Kermit Hide and Seek", Ledger comments on how the house has been utterly destroyed by their horrible actions, only for Brock to remind him of the party, where things were supposedly worse and where "there were even more dead bodies than there are now".
• The Music Video Show has Episode 123 with the host giving the middle finger to a Drake music video, while wearing a Cleveland Cavaliers cap. No explanation why.
  • Episode 182 has the host staring at the wall for its entirety. Again, no reason why. All we know is that it was a Drake episode.
  • Episode 43: "...26 bodies later and I still never got my deposit back."
  • There is the Running Gag about things relating to Kiara's 14th birthday.
• In Nationstates, one of the daily issues takes place following a horrible disaster: "members of your government only mention it in hushed voices, and only then in the vaguest of terms." All that is known is that a shark got into an oil refinery, a number of ant farmers were victimized, and the entire capitol city is now covered in frosting.
• The hosts of the Nerdist Podcast, over a number of episodes, referred to literal "noodle stories," always speaking in lisping voices when saying it, and for a long time never explaining what it meant. They apparently had no idea what a "noodle incident" was until angry, angry fans brought it up while demanding to know the backstory. It was apparently just something someone said in a funny voice once, so they kept using it, and continued to do so especially once listeners first made clear they found it annoying.
• Nightmare Time: In the episode "Honey Queen," Gerald mentions an incident in college, where Linda sabotaged a competitor in a skiing competition. Whatever she did was so awful that the police had to get involved.
• The Nostalgia Critic
  • When The Critic is taken to the future to review The Room (2003) by his future self, he discovers that somehow, Sea Horses have taken over the world. The only explanation we're ever given is Future Nostalgia Critic telling him that they really should've seen it coming. The Sea Horses have also outlawed watching The Room and fly now. Neither of these facts is given any explanation.
  • In the review of The Thief and the Cobbler, Vincent Price calls the Critic. He then starts a poem to explain why he rhymes in the movie, then forgets it. The Critic mocks him by pointing out the irony that it's been years after he's dead and he can't remember anything. The only explanation Price gives is that it had something to do with Rock Hudson and a banana cream pie.
  • This is also done in the NickComs episode. To quote: "Granted, I didn't grow up as a girl. At least, not for long. *beat* I have a history." This may have been elaborated on during the review of A Simple Wish, when Mara Wilson digs up some of Doug's earliest home movies. One of them features him saying "I like to wear women's clothing!"
  • In Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie episode, Critic says he's never seen so much green vomit come out of someone's hand before. "Except for that one time... Yeah, that was weird."
  • In the episode on Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation, Bennett the Sage, pretending to be the Devil, claims that he made the movie and implanted a lot of evil subliminal messages in it. When Critic questions how the climactic scene where Christie is saved by "everyone everywhere" caring deeply about her for some reason promoted evil, Sage begins to explain that it's a metaphor for abortion: "Christie is the fetus, the Care Bears are the scalpel..." before Critic shuts him up.
• The Onion gives us "Unspeakable Happens In Area Town" and "No Secrets Between Us, Except What Happened March 2, 2004"
• Outside Xbox:
  • Luke Westaway at one point mentions "the 1997 Incident", which apparently involved getting a little too close to a stegosaur skeleton's back plates, and also the findings of the Crown were inconclusive.
• Oxventure:
  • In their Dungeons & Dragons campaign, Andy's character Corazón de Ballena has apparently dealt with at least one unexpected encounter with some children who think he's their father offscreen.
  • In their Blades in the Dark campaign, Andy's character Edvard Lumiere mentions getting expelled from the University. It starts out mild, involving something about confetti cannons, bra bombs, and putting traffic cones on the statue of the founder. Later, he mentions trying to get "a couple of corpses shipped in from the Resurrection Men" for use in his innovations on his Wonderful Mechanical Man, to which Lilith retorts that procuring "unethical" ingredients might be an open secret at the University, but that's still technically a secret.
• Petscop:
  • The "Windmill Incident" of 1977 mentioned in Episode 9. It's not really said what happened, besides that the windmill disappeared and the Wife's sister didn't come back with them, either. However, the episode implies that it was a crime (the which is interpreted to be a murder).
  • Why the Gift Plane staff left isn't said and neither is it said if they left of their own accord, if something happened, or if they simply weren't programmed into the game. Likewise, we don't really know what happened to the other forty-three pets besides the ones we see.
  • How Micheal died isn't known either. However, the yellow version of his room in the Child Library and the connect with Toneth hints that it had something to do with cars.
  • There's how Toneth got hurt, however, there's a more details than the usual example (his and Roneth's description), as he's implied to have gotten hurt in a car accident.
  • We do know that something happened between Marvin and Rainer but it's not elaborated on besides that it wasn't pleasant.
  • The situation involving Tiara/Belle. Rainer said he didn't include her features in the Child Library because she's not apart of the family, so it leaves the question as to how she came to be involved with the other characters.
• The waffle incident in Plague and Treachery on the Oregon Trail.
• Plonqmas: In “A Plonqmas Tale — 2018,” it is revealed that Santa and Plonq had a reciprocal agreement not to punch each other out that year. This implies that there was some sort of ugly incident between the two previously, the details of which are not revealed.
• Due to the strangeness of their work, many Protectors of the Plot Continuum agents end up with at least one; for example, in the Original Series, Jay and Acacia fed a Sue to the Balrog. They weren't quite sure how a creature apparently made entirely of fire eats, and wanted to see. "Osmotic incineration? Perhaps it devours them alive and they flake away inside it?"
  Jay's camera flashed away as it [Classified! PPC protected information.]
  • Agent Suicide was kicked out of Bad Slash after the "Roofing Nail Incident".
  • Rowan was banned from baking after the "incident with the gingersnaps".
• Episode 15 of RFG is often referenced as the most infamous due to the amount of censoring that needed to occur before it became suitable to air.
• Certain sites catering to *ahem* niche demographics will occasionally have an image up that can make viewers wonder just what's going on in the picture and what led to the... eh... circumstances, as they are. Assuming they stop and think about what's happening, of course.
• One RWBY episode opens with Weiss and Ruby clinging to a Nevermore in flight. Why is never explained, although Weiss blames Ruby for it.
• Unanswered questions abound in The Saga of Tuck, but given the author's tendency to withhold information until the last second, these are probably the safest to mention:
  • Just what did Travis do as a favor for Lisa?
  • What happened during Mike and Tuck's last dual babysitting job?
  • Why were panties found under Brian's desk?
  • Where did the missing air compressor go?
• Scary News out of Tokyo-3: The Colorado River War. Details are scarce, as all persons present are implied to know exactly what it was. The only solid information given is that Needles, California was devastated, the Hoover Dam was blown up, and the whole mess killed the career of the politician who bungled it.
• The SCP Foundation has quite a few, most notably when [DATA EXPUNGED].
  • SCP-447 is perfectly safe... just as long as you never let it near any dead bodies.
  • SCP-231 uses this trope for particularly horrifying effect.
    • As does one of the universes SCP-507 has shifted to, which is described only as "So many spiders".
  • Used for good dramatic effect in ''085, A Romance in 2.5 Dimensions''
  • Doctor Bright has apparently caused a lot of these.
    • Including one where he [REDACTED], [REDACTED] hard.
  • Due to the results of the final exploration of it, no one is allowed to access SCP-087 anymore. What happened on this exploration? The document describing it has been expunged.
  • SCP-579 is pretty much nothing but a giant Noodle Incident.
  • One during SCP-2000, when discussing a series of Time Sink devices that protect one very important facility:
  XACTS will not be implemented Foundation-wide. Yes, we have tried it during a past iteration. No, further inquiries into the results of that attempt will not be accepted.
  • Used to hilarious effect for SCP-1746, an anomalous storm pattern that, like SCP-231, requires a specific ritual to keep under control. Also like 231, we are given details about the preparation for this ritual, but never told what the ritual is. At this point, it's worth noting that the ritual requires, among other things, a red Buick Wildcat, an actor dressed as an Episcopalian priest, a squirrel wrangler, and two grey squirrels. No, this is not one of the joke SCPs. The most we get on what the ritual actually is is when a containment breach is mentioned. The reason for the breach?
    Squirrel 2 failed to carry the frozen dairy confection to its designated mark before consuming it.
  • This trope is directly invoked in one of the experiments with SCP-1459. The researcher asks the machine to kill an instance of SCP-1459-1 using the word Noodles as a sort of creative prompt. A curtain then goes down, various sounds are heard and when the curtain rises again, the instance of SCP-1459-1 is dead, clearly under bizarre circumstances. It is noted in the end of the log that nothing related to noodles ever happened.
  • SCP-2416 is a Too Dumb to Live man who keeps dying in ridiculous ways, only to reincarnate over and over. The cause of death of his 8th instance remains redacted, but the comment reads:
    The badgers suffered only minor injuries.
  • At one point they tried to use SCP-423 to discover what the titular noodle incident was and failed.
• ScrewAttack: Destin told us Adam was banished from the site over the noodle incident, probably as a shout out.
• Shadow Unit: Sol Todd is a bottomless fount of them, some of which (due to his days as a gonzo journalist) may even refer to real events. (One day, the world will finally hear the Argentinean racehorse story...)
• Skippy's List has examples:
  58. The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence — Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, we've all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid.^note (Perhaps because it's a nickname for sailors, often used in a derogatory manner, or possibly because of this.)
• Texts From Last Night is an entire website devoted to texts messages taken out of context (though some create their own context). Here are some samples.
• Apparently, Dr. Chronos, D.D.S. of The Time... Guys was arrested while dressed as Batman at a Renaissance Fair (which, when you think about it, is already a weird destination for a time... traveler).
• Todd in the Shadows mentioned one in his review of "Like a G6" : "I'm not having any bottle broken over anyone's head in this room, not after the DL incident. I'll tell you about it some time... So much blood !" (he explained it on his Twitter and his "Grenade" review)
  • The Lupa Fiasco from his Top 11 Songs of 2011 list, which apparently involved several geese, something painted on the ceiling, and a freshly-boiled haggis.
• You're bound to get at least one of these if a webcomic gives one of it's characters a Twitter account, if only because of the limited space available to tell a story. For example, Max Facepuncher from The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon. His escapades so far as revealed in the comic, and his own Twitter, show that although his name is a clear indicator of his purpose, it's probably only scratching the surface of what he did to piss off Goofy enough that he got banned from Disneyland.
• In Void Dogs, Galatea was bounced from the casino station for doing something that took more than seventeen pages for the station security to describe, as that's how much of the report was redacted from it.
• Nash is currently experiencing Technical Difficulties. (Don't worry, we're pretty sure he won't find the gun this time.)
• Welcome Back, Potter: While Harry and Ron changed their names to avoid notice from the Wizarding World, Hermione had changed her name to "Stacey Keach" without a given reason other than she "thought it sounded feminine."
• Welcome to Mountport
  • Twice it is brought up that the young boy named Timothy isn't allowed on the streets anymore "on account of the crimes" that were never elaborated on but weren't severe enough other than one townsperson demanding he gets back inside.
• WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.: At the beginning of "Anomaly PSA (2000)", Gabriel mentions an anomaly that apparently involved Big Bird being chased and murdered by maniacs with chainsaws. Euseph, somewhat skeptical, only responds by saying, "You're fucking kidding me."
• Whateley Universe
  • There's a particular incident that's been mentioned several times. At the end of spring and fall terms, the students in the Super Hero School Whateley Academy have to participate in what is called the Combat Finals. In Chaka's first term at school, when everyone else was fighting one-on-one battles, the instructors pitted her against THREE opponents (a super-strong brick, a giant, and a badguy wizard/manifester), and threw in a series of massive disasters including (apparently) an earthquake and a tornado. All that the readers know is that she totally kicked ass. But people keep bringing it up; it's been officially verified by one of the Canon Cabal that it will NEVER be seen in detail. (Forum, Questions and Answers, Fey's combat final.)
  • They have a literal Noodle Incident as well. All they've told us about it is that those were not really noodles, and Generator was behind it.
  • Oh, and don't forget Belphegor's Disco Ball of Doom. And much of Belphoebe's shopping trip is not actually described, we only hear the dialogue.
  • A DRAMATIC example is used in Against Ill Chances, where suddenly the main character's personality changes subtly, and he can't remember what happened on the second day of testing, and one of his friends is missing... Later we found out. It's a lot worse than you'd guess.
  • Three new noodle incidents appeared recently: Team Kimba faced an Unwinnable Training Simulation and got their asses handed to them the first time that term (the Grunts, the supposedly the best team in the Sims, needed three or four tries). Generator proposes a strategy that includes a Radioactive Condor Girl and scares the crap out of battle-hardened combat teachers. After the weekend, they (apparently) try this scenario thrice more, ending with the Radioactive Condor Girl strategy. And win. We don't get any details until So Shalt Thou Show Me Friendship.
• The short story "Wikihistory" is basically a time traveler's message board discussion about the importance of not trying to kill Hitler or otherwise stop World War II from happening, with an increasingly angry moderator repeatedly going back in time to clean up the mess made by noobies. At a certain point, someone manages to get Hitler accepted into the Academy of Fine Arts.
  Page admin: Having just returned from 1907 Vienna where I secured the expulsion of Hitler from the Academy by means of an elaborate prank involving the Prefect, a goat, and a substantial quantity of olive oil, I now turn my attention to our newer brethren, who, despite rules to the contrary, seem to have no intention of reading Bulletin 1147 (nor its Addendum, Alternate Means of Subverting the Hitlerian Destiny, and here I’m looking at you, Sneaky Pete).
• Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series Marik's Evil Council video #2 gives us this line when Marik recruits Rebecca Hawkins because he believes her teddy bear will help him defeat Yugi Muto:
  Bakura: Marik, have you been using your Millennium Item as a bong again?
  Marik: No! And it was one time! Let it go, already!
• Zero Punctuation: In the review of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3, Yahtzee takes issue with the plot of the Russian army somehow invading every capital city in Europe simultaneously. "Now I've never invaded Europe, except for that one time, but I would think that's a project you might want to stagger out a bit if you haven't forged an alliance with any galactic empires lately!"

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