Euphemism Buster

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"General Heydrich, I have the real feeling I "evacuated" 30,000 Jews already by shooting them in Riga. Is what I did "evacuation"? When they fell, were they "evacuated"? There are another 20,000 awaiting similar "evacuation". I find it useful to know what words mean."
SS-Sturmbannführer Rudolf Lange, Conspiracy

Someone uses a euphemism, Last-Second Word Swap or something similar, and someone else blurts out exactly what the first person meant.

It generally comes in two versions: Ditz and Intentional. The Ditz version is just the person figuring it out for himself without realizing that the speaker was trying to be discreet. The intentional version is a character simply not caring about the delicacy of the matter or being deliberately obnoxious about it.

The euphemism may or may not be unusual. Compare and contrast Lampshaded Double Entendre, Don't Explain the Joke.

Examples:

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    Films — Animated 
  • The Lion King: Scar has to backtrack and Euphemism Bust himself thanks to dumb hyenas:
    Banzai: Yeah, be prepared! We'll be prepared! Uh...for what?
    Scar: For the death of the king!
    Banzai: What, is he sick?
    Scar: No, you fool, we're going to kill him. And Simba too.

    Films — Live-Action 
  • From Mallrats:
    Brandi: Second suitor: if we were making whoopee, what sounds would you make?
    Brodie: Wait, what's whoopee?
    Brandi: You know, being intimate.
    Brodie: What? Like fucking?
  • A darker example in Conspiracy, a drama about the Wannsee Conference, which provides the page quote, during which the Security Police managed to get authorization for an anti-Jewish genocide (later termed "Operation Reinhard") which outshone the ones accomplished to that date by the Wehrmacht, Einsatzgruppen, and Regional Security Chiefs. The term 'evacuation' is frequently used to describe the Security Police's program. After about an hour of this Lange, who works with the security forces in Reichskomissariat Ostland (and has been engaged in the usual 'preventative security' operations to eliminate demographics who might support the Communist Insurgency there), tires of his indirectness.
  • But I'm a Cheerleader
    Hilary: There's no inappropriate behaviour allowed.
    Megan: Inappropriate...like swearing?
    Graham: No, inappropriate like fucking. You get caught in the throes of sodomy and it's au revoir.
  • Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins.
    Smith: You're going to help remove some of the filth.
    Remo: I like that. That's nice. It's a lot nicer than "kill," or "destroy," or "terminate with extreme prejudice." That's what you're really talking about, isn't it?
  • This forms a Running Gag in Hot Fuzz, where the gruff PC Walker will often finish off PC Thatcher's Double Entendres by pointing out exactly what she was hinting at.
    PC Doris Thatcher: Oh, I dunno. I quite like a little midnight gobble. Haha!
    PC Bob Walker: ...cocks.

    Jokes 
  • A famous WWII fighter pilot is giving an inspirational speech to a girls' school.
    PILOT: ...and remember, ladies, no matter how sticky the situation, you can always get out of it. For instance: back in the war I was in a terrible dogfight - there was one fucker behind me, one on top of me and one to my left-
    HEADMISTRESS: [leaping to her feet] Girls, girls, if you don't know, there was a type of German aircraft called a Focker.
    PILOT: That's right. [beat] Although these fuckers were flying in Messerschmidts...

    Live Action TV 
  • Scrubs
    Elliot: Those gyno girls are really putting the pressure on. We must have looked at a hundred women's bajingos today! Bajingo, bajingo, bajingo. I mean, I can't even look at my own bajingo.
    Carla: Is that because it looks so much like a vagina?
    Elliot: Carla, there's people!
  • Mythbusters
    Narrator: And in the pouch will be... let's call it 'genetic legacy'
    Jamie: Genetic legacy? It's sperm. Every kid in grade school knows that. Helps make babies, you know?
  • Dollhouse
    Topher: He seemed to be having a kind of...man-reaction.
    Dr. Saunders: A what?
    Topher: A, you know, reaction that a man — person might have in the...you know, the...naked part. Shower. Victor.
    Dr. Saunders: Victor had an erection?
    Topher: I prefer man-reaction.
  • In Lost this overlaps with Censorship by Spelling. Hurley doesn't want to talk about the dead in front of a kid (Walt), so he spells it out:
    Hurley: But what about the B-O-D-Y-S?
    Michael: What are you trying to spell, man, "bodies"?
    Walt: B-O-D-I-E-S.
  • On Chappelle's Show, a parody of a PBS Frontline documentary has the narrator (a white man) warn viewers:
    Warning
    Narrator: For viewers sensitive to issues of race, be advised that the following piece contains gratuitous use of the "N" word.
    [Beat]
    Narrator: And by the "N" word, I mean Nigger.
    [Beat]
    Narrator: There, I said it.
  • A variant from an episode of 3rd Rock from the Sun:
    Sally: He said he wanted to sleep with me. I wanted sex, but seeing as he was tired I decided to just go home.
  • An un-lampshaded version in Buffy the Vampire Slayer:
    Mayor: No slayer of mine is going to live in a fleabag motel. That place has a very unsavory reputation. There are immoral liaisons going on there.
    Faith: Yeah, plus all the screwing.
  • In Star Trek: The Original Series, Harry Mudd describes how he wound up on the android planet after getting arrested for one of his scams:
    Mudd: Well, of course I... left.
    Kirk: He broke jail.
    Mudd: I, ah, borrowed transportation...
    Kirk: He stole a spaceship.
    Mudd: ...the patrol reacted in a hostile manner...
    Kirk: They fired at him.
  • In Friends, Chandler is hesitant to have sex with his new girlfriend, Kathy:
    Chandler: Her last boyfriend was Joey...
    Ross: And you're afraid you won't be able to...fill his shoes?
    Chandler: No, I'm afraid I won't be able to make love as well as him.
    Ross: I was going for the metaphor.
    Chandler: And I was saying the actual words.
  • Person of Interest. When the Chief of Staff starts giving her flak, Control spells out exactly what her organisation has been doing behind the scenes to keep the United States safe. So far they've handled 853 threats to national security. "And by 'handled', you do know I mean killed, right?"
  • Occasionally, when a Cutthroat Kitchen contestant is sabotaged too hard to make their dish properly, they'll try to go for a Less Embarrassing Term, such as "deconstructed omelet". This rarely fools the judges:
    Judge: Let's call them what they are, your scrambled eggs.
  • Used in That Mitchell and Webb Look to make fun of any Deadly Euphemism a Bond villain might come up with, as one of the henchmen hates ambiguity.
    Alan: This is gonna be "let's hope Professor Ritson meets with a little accident" all over again! We spent nine months hoping that Professor Ritson would meet with an accident until Leslie made it clear it was an accident we were supposed to make happen!
  • Star Trek: Voyager, "Meld"
    Suder: Have you come to kill me?
    Tuvok: To execute you for your crime.
    Suder: To execute me. I see. And calling it that makes it more comfortable for you.
  • Friends
    • It was a running gag that when Joey said something raunchy, he'd follow up with an explanation in case the others didn't catch his meaning, which they always did. Once he said, "If you know what I mean," to which Monica replied, "Joey? We always know what you mean."
    • In an earlier episode the Friends were comparing sex to a concert, comparing foreplay to a comedian, and penetration as the band. The women say that they should bring back the comedian for a second go a bit more often otherwise they might just end up listening to the album of the band instead. Joey responds with: "...We're still talking about sex, right?"
  • Frasier gives us this exchange:
    Niles: How long have you known her?
    Frasier: Three days.
    Niles: Have you two, er… (cocks eyebrow)
    Frasier: No, not that it's any of your business.
    Niles: But you're, er… (raises eyebrows)
    Frasier: Soon.
    Niles: We are talking about—
    Frasier: Oh of course we are!
    Niles: …sex, right?
  • In an episode of NewsRadio, Bill hastily informs Dave of Lisa's potential sexual endeavors using a euphemism. Dave, who was no longer dating Lisa, doesn't have a strong reaction to the news, which causes Bill and Mr. James to assume he didn't catch the euphemism:
    Bill: You know what that means, don't you?
    Dave: Yes.
    Mr. James: That means sex.
    Dave: I know.
  • On Night Court, when Dan catches Bull in a hotel room with his little sister:
    Dan Fielding: "You guys didn't sleep together did you?"
    Bull Shannon: "Of course not!"
    Dan: *sighs in relief*
    Bull: "We just had sex!"
  • Fist of Fun's "Four Horsemen waiting for the apocalypse" sketch has Pestilence working as a milkman. One of his customers tells the camera "Although he's a bit odd looking, I know lots of housewives around here would love to get their hands on his extra pinta, if you know what I mean. [Beat] I mean his cock."

    Video Games 
  • Star Trek Online has this exchange between Proconsul D'Tan of the Romulan Republic and an uninvited visitor in his office.
    Khiana: Allow me to introduce myself. I am Subcommander Khiana, and I represent... certain individuals interested in the future of the Romulan people.
    D'Tan: Don't patronize me. You mean the Tal Shiar.

    Web Comics 
  • Ménage à 3: Thanks to Gary's intermittent lack of an indoor voice, when he busts Tracy's euphemism for the second job she does to pay the bills, he triggers an understandable Face Palm,
    Tracy: I do a little, ummmm, crowdfunded R-rated video performance.
    Gary: You're a SEX CAMGIRL?!
  • In The Order of the Stick, following Roy's death, Haley tries to break the news gently to his girlfriend Celia. Unfortunately, Celia takes Haley's metaphors literally, so Belkar has to be blunt and to the point in order to explain to her.
  • Stuff Sucks had this. "I think she wants to be his buddy. (short pause) His sex buddy. (short pause) If you know what I mean."
  • Cyanide & Happiness has this gem:
    Boy, I'd love to take her out to dinner. And by "take her out to dinner" I mean dunk the donut. And by "dunk the donut" I mean have sex with her. And by "have sex with her" I mean use my penis on her. And by "penis" I mean staple remover. And by "staple" I mean virginity.

    Web Videos 
  • Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series:
    Joey: Shut up, Tristan! You just wanna get into [my sister]'s pants!
    Tristan: No I don't. I want to have sex with her!
    Tristan: Oooooooh, that's what you meant...!
  • Lampshaded in the Ego Raptor production Girl Chan In Paradise when Yusuke gets mad and starts pronouncing the word fuck with an elongated f noise, only to have Kenstar interrupt and ask if he's about to say the f word. Yusuke's response is "You mean.... fuck!" Kenstar then gives a subdued response "Yes, that would be it."
  • Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
    "The Hammer is my penis."
  • Ultra Fast Pony:
    • In "The Penny and Clyde Show".
    Twilight: Dammit! Why does everything have to be so hard?
    Discord: Oh, Twilight, if life was hard it would be full of innuendos. [beat] Like my ostrich pe—
    Twilight: So much more information than what I wanted!
    • In "Pirate Shipping":
    Sweetie Belle: [to Cheerilee] So, you got anyone you're going to spend some quality time with tonight, huh, wink wink nudge nudge, you know what I'm saying, right, I'm implying you're gonna have sex.
  • From Bro Team Pill's playthrough of Guns of Icarus:
    "We're gonna need a specialist: Me. Specialized in one-handed cranking, and also beatin' off my stupid dick."

    Western Animation 
  • Spongebob Squarepants, "Squidward the Unfriendly Ghost":
    Spongebob: Squidward! He's... he's... pushing up daisies!
    Patrick: Oh, I thought he was dead.
  • Kim Possible:
    • When Kim has to take her brothers with her on a mission in "The Twin Factor" she asks if anyone has to do any "business" before they leave the house. Ron doesn't understand it at first until Rufus whispers the true meaning in his ear. After hearing it, he immediately runs back into the house to use the bathroom.
    • In "Ron the Man", Shego suggests hiring Jack Hench, an idea Drakken rejects as too expensive. Shego then proposes a way around that problem:
      Shego: I'll infiltrate his research facility and, you know, maybe I can find some "free samples".
      Drakken: Please! Hench never gives "free" anything. He... Oh, you mean stealing, don't you?
      Shego: Doy!
  • Clone High's JFK provides us with many such examples, in addition to the page quote.
    • "Some of us are trying to nail Catharine the Great. Or should I say 'Catharine the SO-SO!'"
    • "Don't worry, Cleo. I can help you stay up all night long. Notice how I accentuated the words "up" and "long". Now let's bone up for the PXJT test. Guess what the P stands for? PENIS!"
    • But then, JFK always feels the need to explain the joke flat out, even when completely obvious. His ego simply requires him to brag about his sexual exploits.
  • Family Guy:
    • Or for that matter....
      Quagmire [matter of fact, after a string of Innocent Innuendo comments from Lois]: That one is also sexual.
    • Spoofed in one episode, where Peter is helping Death get a date. Peter remarks "You might even, you know..." and then proceeds to perform a series of seemingly random, nonsensical motions including breakdance moves. After he finishes, Death says "I don't follow" and Peter (still bent over from one of the dance moves), responds "Intercourse."
    • One Day at a Time (1975): Oh, I'll fix your sink, Ms. Romano. And by that I mean I'll have sex with you. And by have sex with you, I mean I'll fix your sink. And by "sink," I mean your reproductive organ. And by "reproductive organ, " I mean the thing between your knees. And by "the thing between your knees, " I…well, I guess that one's kind of self-explanatory.]]
  • King of the Hill once featured a (villainous, as far as the show has villains) character who would insert, "That's what she said" in response to anything that could even remotely be considered a Double Entendre.
    • From another episode:
    Coach: Like I tell my gym class, girls can't play sports.
    Thatherton: At least I've found one who can get it over the plate, if you know what I mean.
    [blank stare from the Coach]
    Thatherton: I'm having sex with her.
    [They both laugh]
    Coach: (beat) But she's no good at sports, right?
  • The Simpsons
    • The episode "New Kid on the Block" subverts the subversion:
      Ruth Powers: Well, I know what you're thinking, and the answer is yes. I want to be fixed up with one of your friends as soon as you can arrange it. After all, Homer, I do have the normal... appetites.
      Homer: Heh, heh, heh... I know what you mean. (pause) Just let me make sure we're not talking about food.
      Ruth Powers: I'm not.
      Homer: Right! Me, neither. (pause) We're talking about sex, right?
      Ruth Powers: Right.
      Homer: I hear you loud and clear.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EuphemismBuster