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Narrative
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"You don't know me/You're too old, let go It's over/Nobody listens to techno" — Eminem, "Without Me" (ironically, a song that samples Techno (that was the joke))
"...And you will never hear surf music again!"
— Jimi Hendrix, "Third Stone from the Sun"
A genre of music that music critics hate on principle. If a band or song is from one of the forbidden genres, it is automatically bad, no matter what the band or song actually sounds like. A music critic who actually likes any of this stuff has to bend over backward, apologizing that these songs are Guilty Pleasures and they know they shouldn't like the stuff. Some critics seem unable to write a review of music they like without an obligatory kick to the dead horse — "this is so much better than that other crap!" Times when these genres were popular are declared to be the Dork Age.
Amateur music critics on the Web aren't quite as dogmatic as the professionals, because the amateurs aren't part of an establishment that declares who is hot and who is not. But since anybody with an internet connection and music library can be a critic, amateurs often have their own personal Dead Horse Genre, which they flog as hard as the professionals do with theirs.
Of course, a lot of these genres really are full of rubbish. But so are genres that the critics like — Sturgeons Law strictly applies. If you're a fan of this stuff and you want reviews, you may have to go to a specialized web site that only covers that one genre.
So why kick a music genre until it's a dead horse? Because music critics regard what they do as Serious Business. They're trying to calculate the canon of Great Works of Western Music here, and there's no room for anything less. They seem to think that if enough people listen to good music, people will start giving out flowers and candy and overthrow The Man and cure cancer, but if they listen to bad music, people will have their souls crushed and vote to establish fascism. Critics with strong political beliefs go further — some are still angry that the decline of music in the late 60s prevented the revolution that was so, so close then.
Another reason for this is that entire genres have been created by taking a style the musicians hate, and then doing the exact opposite. Critics who like these rebel genres have to pan the ones they rebelled against. Maybe both genres have something to offer? Don't be silly! This is music, and there's only one way to do things.
Most of these genres have one or two exceptions, the bands that the critics like in spite of it all. Of course, the critics usually spend their time trying to explain that no, these bands aren't really part of the hated genre at all.
For those people who haven't figured it out yet, most music criticism is very close to Fan Dumb. See also Sci Fi Ghetto.
The Big List of Dead Horse Genres:
Arena RockThere ain't no respect for 1970s bands who made songs specifically for arena spectacles, like Boston and Foreigner. Critics regard them as pompous, fake, and not "real" music because their songs aren't really played — they're performed. Especially to fans of Three Chords And The Truth, this is unacceptable. And since arena rockers usually wrote straightforward lyrics, those who feel that True Art Is Angsty have nothing. Exception: Queen is often given a pass, since they were so successful. The fact that they showed a sense of humour and blatantly attempted to make every song as mock-operatic as possible with nonsense or otherwise jokey lyrics probably helped, as did Rolling Stone's infamous habit of bashing them at the height of their fame (they were once called "fascists"). However, there are still a ton of Queen haters among amateur critics, who think of them as normal arena rock with bad Goth poetry. The reviewers who like them especially like their theatrical, #1 "Bohemian Rhapsody", which is the second-most-played song on British radio. The video game Rock Band may very well rescue Boston from this hatred too, but not Styx. Never Styx.
Show TunesRock critics don't usually like (or know much about) music that isn't rock, but they're wary of attacking genres that they know they don't understand. So they leave Classical, Blues, Jazz, and "World" alone. But Broadway show tunes don't have the mystique that makes those other genres so scary. If it was sung in a theater, rock critics dismiss it as sappy, soulless stuff for lame fifty-something white people in 1955. (These are the same people who hated Elvis and the Beatles, so obviously whatever they like can't be good). One of the stock funny anecdotes among music critics is that Marvin Gaye, the master of suave Motown love ballads with soul, originally wanted to sing showtunes. Exceptions: The recent Broadway musical Avenue Q, due to twisted lyrics and a subject matter for twentysomethings (i.e. Dead Baby Comedy), is exempt from this criticism. It is unclear whether other musicals with unusual subject matter can break the stigma.
Hair MetalA sub-type of heavy metal from the 1980s, bands like Poison, Bon Jovi, and Motley Crue inspire a lot of hate, even from people who love other kinds of heavy metal. Amateur critics dismiss it as nothing but make-up, big hair, fancy costumes, and videos, with no room for actual music in there. (Wilson & Alroy, the first big amateur music reviewers on the web, refuse to review hair metal albums for any reason.) Among professional critics, hair metal had the misfortune of being too tied to the 1980s rock "establishment," especially MTV. 1990s grunge music was a rebellion against hair metal, like Punk was a rebellion against Prog Rock, so when grunge became the critical darling of MTV, there was soon no place for hair metal among the pros. Exceptions: The VH1 Classic channel, deep in its 1980s nostalgia kick, is still fond of hair metal, and goes through huge chunks where it seems to cover nothing else. The band W.A.S.P. also gets a "get out of jail free card", partly for being heavier than most similar bands, partly for eventually abandoning hair metal with 1989's The Headless Children.Mainstream RadioAlbums by the likes of Fleetwood Mac or the Eagles — which seem to consist of the same song repeated for seven tracks or more — send a shiver down the spine of every amateur critic. After all, it's produced by The Man, who is the root of all evil (but not that one); and it probably got played due to payola anyway. The fact that lots of people love it is only proof that it's bad — what do the proles know, anyway? Exceptions: Professional reviewers like this stuff more (for obvious reasons.) Every now and then, a mega-hit album like the Eagles' Hotel California Crosses The Line Twice for amateur reviewers — first it's so popular and formulaic that they hate it on principle, but then it gets bigger and bigger until they feel they can't dismiss it.Manufactured BandsCritics hate these most of all. From Fabian and the Monkees to N'Sync and Britney Spears, performers who serve as faces for a faceless team of composers are viewed as outright traitors to music. They are the monster, the roots of the evil corporate machine that suppresses true music. They perform catchy but empty pop designed to hypnotize teenagers into becoming shopping-obsessed zombies. They... well, you know the drill. The average critic cares a lot about sincerity, so singers who only sing (instead of writing their own material) are unacceptable (depending on how long ago the artist came to prominence — no-one's criticising Nat King Cole for not writing his own tunes...) Professional critics have to (publically) give 'equal time' to modern manufactured bands for obvious reasons, but are free to trash selected out-of-date whipping boys (like the Monkees) with gusto. The older bands suffer the same fate as hair metal — manufactured bands prospered most between Elvis getting drafted and the Beatles arriving, so they are seen as the horror which the Beatles saved music from. Speaking of "older", note that in recent years manufactured bands and their intended demographic are getting younger- Miley Cyrus, Jonas Brothers and The Naked Brothers Band are presumably marketed to kids whose parents think they're too young to go on the Internet. Interestingly, manufactured bands targeted toward girls get far, far, far more criticism than those targeted toward boys even if their music is of the exact same quality. Manufactured bands targeted at girls almost always become The Barney of their generation. Exceptions: The formulaic hit factory of Motown, which — as a black-run business with heavier blues and jazz influence — doesn't seem bland or inane to critics like the whitebread Monkees do. Motown also has the advantage that a lot of its bubblegum acts (like Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder, and Michael Jackson) showed some creative talent and eventually moved on to their own things, while tools at other companies rarely did. Even the major studio band of the company's golden age, The Funk Brothers, got their belated due as the craftsmen that made the company sound so good. Recently, some critics have discovered manufactured bands — they're so hated that liking them ironically seems cool and daring. Other amateur critics, in a a reverse of what the pros do, don't like the Monkees but make a point of how much better they were than today's manufactured groups. Viewpoints about the Sex Pistols vary: they started as a band manufactured by Malcolm McLaren, but with the addition of John Lydon his influence over them was heavily diminished. Subsequently they initiated the first wave of British punk, with bands like the Clash and the Buzzcocks citing them as the direct reason they formed. After Lydon left, McLaren tried to keep the band going, resulting in disasters such as The Great Rock and Roll Swindle. Finally, outright parody bands such as Spinal Tap may get a bye on the basis that they were 'really' attacking the sort of band they pretend to be. In Asia, there appears to be somewhat less resistance in accepting Boy Bands/Girl Bands; groups like Big Bang and the Hello Project still sell in Korea and Japan.Progressive RockThis 1970s genre of long, complex classically-influenced epics with either science fiction lyrics or few lyrics is incredibly reviled. Both pros and amateurs dismiss bands like Jethro Tull, Yes, Rush, and Genesis as pretentious and bloated. Blender magazine, compiling their list of the worst bands ever, chose many prog bands (one of them making the #2 slot). To critics, prog songs are too long, they don't rock out, and their complex arrangements are seen as technical music geeks getting too caught up in the details ("wank-out" is a common phrase). Their fondness for science-fiction lyrics, combined with their musical geeking, leads to many jokes about loser prog fans playing Dungeons And Dragons in their parents' basements. The huge number of prog divas who treat their fans like dirt don't help the genre's image. To top it off, prog was a target of the greatly admired '70s punk scene, so a critic who likes punk will be disinclined to praise proggers. Exceptions: Pink Floyd has broken almost every record for success — not just in sales, but in critical acclaim as well. Almost a third of their albums (Dark Side of the Moon, Piper at the Gates of Dawn, The Wall, etc.) are hailed as classics. Of course, Pink Floyd are often sneered at as "not really prog" by the more hardcore prog fans, and their very success has created a backlash. (And in their glory days, they were virulently hated by music critics, who thought they were mainstream sell-outs.) Also, a few amateur critics like George Starostin like prog in general, but they're still a minority. 1970s Jethro Tull gets some respect, especially for Aqualung. There's also Hawkwind, the only prog band punks will ever admit to liking, though that's possibly because of their connections to Motörhead. The lesser-known prog band Van Der Graaf Generator is sometimes exempted due to the fact that the Sex Pistols actually admitted to liking them. King Crimson's reputation has been somewhat rehabilitated by Robert Fripp's eclectic taste in collaborators, which has included (within and outside the band) Brian Eno, Adrian Belew, and David Bowie. Rush have amassed a significant fanbase and are famous for their instrumental proficiency (but even some fans will admit Geddy Lee's voice sucks). Progressive rock seems to be making something of a comeback lately thanks to bands like Porcupine Tree. In addition, the far more recent progressive metal genre is actually growing in popularity (much like metal in general), and many heavy and thrash metal bands throughout metal history included flirtations with progressivism or at the very least "epic" songs of 7 minutes or longer. Bands like Dream Theater and Symphony X (arguably) do rock out, and a few (like Opeth) can be downright brutal. Deep within the cavernous bowel of prog-metal, we find Sunn O)))Gangsta RapWhile the Moral Guardians will decry rap music for being horrifically violent and misogynistic, many music critics will decry it for being horrifically repetitive and pretentious (in the macho posturing sense, rather than the prog rock sense, natually). After all, there's only so much one can say about bling, guns, rides, drugs, hos, and pretty much every single euphemism for sex spoken in a flat, tuneless monotone over repetitive beats mostly taken from far better songs layered over clips literally recorded from other songs anyone can take. Exceptions: The early innovators of the genre (Ice-T, Dr. Dre, Scarface, Ice Cube, 2Pac, The Notorious B.I.G., et. al) get a free pass here, mainly because one of the major criticisms of Gangsta Rap is that everybody's imitating them. Ice-T gets an extra pass because he tempered his gangsterism with sociopolitically concerned lyrics and his willingness to admit that the lifestyle was fundamentally a no-win situation. Also Bone Thugs N Harmony which is essentially a Progressive Gangsta Rap group (if that makes any sense). Except P.Diddy. Everyone still hates him.
Alternative RapQuite a few think the days of Afrocentrism and eccentric music is out of vogue and so early 90's. Exceptions: The genre has returned to semi-promenence thanks to the success of artists on Rhymesayers (P.O.S., Atmosphere), Anticon (Why?) and especially Definitive Jux (El-P, Aesop Rock, Dizzee Rascal) labels, and the news coverage of the subgenre known as "nerdcore". However, most of the fans of all of these artists are fans of indie or alternative rock (it certainly doesn't help that several of them specifically target this demographic, or in the case of Why?, double as an indie rock band). Most hip-hop fans have ignored the genre since 1994 and you're much more likely to hear not only these new acts but older alt-rap acts like De La Soul and the Pharcyde on alternative rock radio instead of hip-hop radio.
Political RapMost rappers who get on their soap box are considered preachy, pretentious and irrelevant now. In general there's a backlash towards rap music like this (including the aforementioned Gangsta Rap, and alt rap) from the mainstream rap fans. Likely because of the resentment from the fans of those particular genres that's usually aimed at pure mainstream rap fans. So in essence its a backlash against the Critical Backlash....If that makes any sense. So a lot of mainstream rap music fans dismiss them as irrelevant (Including BET, and MTV apparently). Basically any hip-hop that isn't club-oriented, trendy, safe, and radio-friendly is considered "Played Out" or not cool to like. Or it could all just be a defense mechanism for mainstream fans to justify their taste in current pure mainstream hip-hop. Exceptions: Public Enemy and X-Clan are still widely respected as trailblazers. More "underground" rappers that straddle the line between hardcore and politics such as Dead Prez, Mos Def and Nas (to name but a few) also get a pass. Immortal Technique has something of a cult following. If only for the pure Shock Value of how extreme he is in his leftism. Rage Against The Machine may or may not fall under this, as they are more of a nu-metal band than rap, but Zach de la Rocha's lyrics are very political in nature.
EmoThe stereotype is that it's just immature teenagers, wearing black makeup and complaining about their Wangst. You almost never see exceptions. Almost everyone is completely unaware that emo existed before the late Nineties, and actually evolved from the hardcore scene associated with Washington, DC, in the mid-Eighties. (Think Fugazi; That Other Wiki has more information.ChristianAny band that's outspoken about their faith in Jesus (especially if they write songs about it) invariably dooms themselves to playing shows for church youth groups. Even if their songs are well-written (and that's not necessarily a big if) non-Christians will perceive them as cramming religion down the listeners' throats. There is also the perception that any given Christian band is just a Christian imitation of some other popular band, which is not helped by some labels marketing their bands this way. That, and the "Christian Music scene" is impossible to defineCountryRedneck jokes aside, it's often derided as banal whining about women, trucks, dogs, alcohol and cowboys over an unchanging steel guitar tune. Naturally, the subject matter and the simple stylings are exactly what appeal to fans, which tends to make country a very polarizing genre. In addition, many fans of more traditional folk music and bluegrass decry it as The Theme Park Version of these classical American genres, neutered of the musical complexity that gives them their charm. Since anyone that isn't "into it" will typically run away screaming at the sound of the first twang, it tends to stay within its home turf, having a very rough time expanding its audience. Exceptions: By leaning into other genres like rock and pop, acts like the Dixie Chicks, Shania Twain, and Dolly Parton have managed to attain mainstream success, though often at the expense of provoking criticisms of "selling out" from within the country community. At the end of his career, Johnny Cash got a lot of respect from non-country fans when he teamed up with producer Rick Rubin for his last five albums, flipping the bird at Nashville (figuratively and literally) in the process. (His album of alternative covers, perhaps best known for his renditions of Nine Inch Nails' "Hurt" and Soundgarden's "Rusty Cage", also helped.) Then he died before he could do anything to spoil the goodwill. Members of the "Outlaw" subgenre will often get a pass for breaking from the Nashville Sound that most people think of when they think of country. Outlaw Country's offshoot subgenre, Alternative Country, also gets a free pass for having nothing to do with the Nashville Sound whatsoever and for spawning critical darlings like the Drive-By Truckers and Wilco. Recently, Taylor Swift and Carrie Underwood have made country more mainstream, with Swift's song "Love Story" being the country song with the most paid downloads, and the first country song to top the Mainstream Top 40 chart. Also, Swift's album Fearless topped the Billboard 200 in 11 different weeks, and Underwood is one of American Idol's most successful winners. And hey, there was Achy Breaky Heart, everyone loves that, right?DiscoAfter floating around in the outer reaches of the record industry for decades, the success of African-American musical genres like jazz, blues, soul and funk in the 1960s finally brought it to the forefront by the beginning of the 1970s. However, many objected to the glitzy, camped-out commercialism, claiming it "sucked all of the soul" out of the music. When the hammer fell on the genre, it fell hard, and practically no one will now admit to having come within a billion miles of it at its height. "X was into disco in the 70s" jokes are practically a staple of the Sit Com genre. It tried to resurrect itself in disguise as 80's High-Energy, but could not reclaim its once-lofty position. Names like Tapps, Shiraz, Sarah Dash and Gloria Gaynor (yes, that same Gloria Gaynor) still make this editor cringe. Exceptions: Though Chic is still considered one of the basic disco bands, try to find a funk (or funk-influenced) bassist not influenced by Bernard Edwards. That isn't Bootsy Collins or Larry Graham. A handful of acts will get a free pass on sheer Camp, as well, most notably The Village People. Many hip and trendy contemporary house and "dance-punk" bands, including Daft Punk, LCD Soundsystem, Justice, Simian Mobile Disco and Basement Jaxx, have a much more charitable view of the disco genre as a whole and incorporate many of its signifiers into their sound. And while disco received a major backlash in America, the same didn't happen to the same degree in Europe and Italo Disco flourished there. Finally, Giorgio Moroder's productions (like Donna Summer's "I Feel Love") are usually given a pass solely because of how much he contributed to house.Lounge Music/Easy ListeningLounge Music has always earned the loathing of critics even in heyday of the mid-1960s and early 1970s, being typified as the musical equivalent of Valium. 'Easy Listening' derivatives of Jazz especially earn the enmity of rock critics — even those unfamiliar with jazz in general — because it is seen as a neutered form of a 'real' genre. Popular acts such as Barry Manilow in the 1970s and Kenny G. in the 1990s are especially reviled for being both banal and successful — Manilow especially for admitting to doing the most soulless of music before turning to pop: commercial jingles. New Age/Worldbeat music, like Yanni or Enigma's output, is usually lumped into this catagory. Exceptions: Lounge music may be considered acceptable so long as one is consuming it ironically. Richard Cheese and Lounge Against the Machine have essentially made an entire career of this, exclusively performing lounge covers of various modern pop/rock/rap hits. Easy listening is also acceptable genre on many free music portals on the Internet.Christmas PopOther genres on this list may be more critically reviled (maybe), but for the portion of the public that hates Christmas music, November and December is an aural nightmare. For two whole months, nearly every public place with a PA system is playing it. The biggest flaw comes from the fact that Christmas Pop feeds on itself endlessly. There are way more covers of established hits than there are original songs and most radio stations don't differentiate between, say, the Bing Crosby version of "White Christmas" versus the Louis Armstrong, Barbara Streisand, or Alvin and the Chipmunks versions. This leads to the same basic songs being repeated en masse with different singers. As well, the genre hasn't evolved much over time, tending to stick to the traditional with a few twists. Most critics hate Christmas Pop for the same reason they hate Manufactured Bands, finding the music itself artificial and appealing only to the Lowest Common Denominator. One way you can tell a musical act has "sold out" is when they produce a Christmas album (especially if they're all covers). Exceptions: Due to the nature of Christmas music and the nigh unavoidable presence of it during the holidays, it is extraordinarily rare to find exceptions that fit squarely into the genre. (If it's good, it's obviously not Christmas music!) In fact, Christmas music is such a Dead Horse Genre that some songs, such as "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer", that use the style ironically have become just as hated as the songs they mock. Still, some people give a pass to Weird Al's "Christmas At Ground Zero" due to its dark lyrics juxtaposed against the very cheery instrumental backing. And the fact that he only wrote it because his record label was pressing him to write a peppy Christmas song, so he wrote this.
Novelty/ComedyWhile the comedy genre has flourished in nearly every other medium, it's a tiny niche in popular music. Many, perhaps most, musicians will have an occasional song that is not serious, but if an artist's work is comprised entirely of such songs, you can expect the critics to not give them the time of day. There seems to be a prevailing attitude that if a song uses humor, than the musicianship and quality of the songwriting do not merit consideration as "legitimate music". The Grammys even restricted their comedy album awards to spoken word for several years. This may in part be due to the relative scarcity of dedicated comedy musicians, particularly at the professional level (though this may be a chicken-and-egg situation). Exceptions: Weird Al Yankovic seems to be the sole exception to this; he's been consistently popular since the 1980s. His "Straight Outta Lynwood" charted at #10 on the Billboard Music charts, and other works of his have done even better. They Might Be Giants also get a reprieve, though their humor tends to be subtler and more integrated into "regular" music (they also actively chafe at being labeled a comedy or novelty act). It remains to be seen if Jonathan Coulton can break this barrier.
Songfestival popIn Europe, everything and everyone that has anything to do with the Eurovision Song Contest is reviled by critics. This includes such acts as ABBA.
SoulThere are some who call it boring, and too far out side of the mainstream (by today's standards that is). Some even consider the vocalists who have high octave range no different from every other singer raised in the black church. Sadly these singers have been relegated to gospel music now. Exceptions: Gnarls Barkley is the closest one can get to soul music and still be considered hip. Unless you go back 40 or 50 years.Neo-SoulSome say Neo-Soul is dead. Considering in the early 2000's it was getting A LOT of mainstream buzz (Mostly because of Alicia Keys). With singers like Maxwell, D'Angelo, Erykah Badu, Jill Scott, Angie Stone, Lina, India.Arie, Music Soulchild Et Cetera. But by the mid 2000's interest faded away.
Contemporary R&BIn the words of P!nk (whose first album was R&B) "Nobody wants to hear a love song that you don't mean". Not just the genre itself but arguably the love and romance of Contemporary R&B is dead. Replaced by songs dealing with trashy soap opera, Jerry Springer topics. With more vocal gymnastics and some vague, treacly high-pitched sound in the background. The fusion of modern R&B to hip-hop tends to dilute both these Genres. Interestingly enough Contemporary R&B pushed soul music off the charts.New Jack SwingIronically the genre that pushed Contemporary R&B off the charts is also deader than a door nail. Exceptions: It could be argued that Hip-Hop Soul is more or less a modernization or continuation of New Jack Swing.Nu-MetalSomewhere between metal, rap, and pop music, nu-metal is generally derided by hardcore metal fans as not really being "metal". Its Popular Now It Sucks and the general aversion to any form of mainstream success may have something to do with it, as well as people who confuse it with Emo. The video game Brutal Legend pretty well is a great example. Exceptions: Rage Against The Machine is one of the few that does not fall under this. Yes, de la Rocha raps, but he can sing as well. There is also a fair amount of shredding from Tom Morello, which pleases the hardcore metal fans.
Rock & RollIn the sense of people like, Chuck Berry, Ike and Tina, Little Richard, Big Mama Thornton etc... Exceptions: well there is Lenny Kravitz,
Traditional Anime Theme SongsBack in the 70's most animes had their own catchy theme songs. However during the 80's it was slowly phased out for J-pop or J-Rock tracks which is easy to license and seems more normal for listening. Good luck finding a theme song for anything past kids shows nowadays. Even Kamen Rider is a bit more vague with its opening and end theme songs than say Super Sentai. This was heavily lampshaded in Kampfer as Kaede speaks of anime openings being normal compared to say cartoon opening Exceptions Some Super Robot Series kept this alive even in the modern era. Groups like JAM Project are a good example of keeping the traditional Anime Theme Songs alive. |
