- Before the movie even starts proper, we get this gem from the pirate captain.
Pirate Captain: (opening a treasure chest) I never thought I'd see it...with me own eyes... TICKETS TO THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE!!!! (all of the pirates start cheering wildly)
- The proceeding "Gilbert and Sullivan"-style version of the theme song, as well as the pirates going to the theater, pillaging the concession stand and taking up the first three or four rows.
- The beginning dream sequence.
- "You got a family, Phil?" (Phil is a blubbering mess) "C'mon, Phil, stay with me! Let's hear about that family!"
- Patrick: (looks around at all the fish skulls) Wait a minute? Wait a minute!? SPONGEBOB! (beat) Make mine a chocolate!
- "Hooray! Bubble Party!"
- The "Goofy Goober Rock" sequence is just as hilarious as it is awesome.
- Patrick... with fishnet stockings. Especially when it's revealed he's still wearing them after the song.
- And before the song starts, Plankton's complete and utter confusion at the lights dimming, a disco ball turning on and dry ice inexplicably appearing around them while SpongeBob is giving his I Am What I Am speech.
- And then Spongebob turns into a wizard.
- "Is he a mermaid?"
- Patrick asks the above after Dennis demonstrates how unmanly Spongebob and Patrick really are: by instantly growing a real mustache on the spot.
- "ACTIVATING LAUNCH SEQUENCE."
- "Meow Plankton."
- Baaaaaalllllllldddddd! Bald! Bald!
- When Neptune rhetorically asks Mindy why his crown is important, Mindy guesses it's to cover up his bald spot. He insists that he's not bald, just...thinning, and that the crown is a symbol of authority.
Neptune: Someday, you will wear this crown.Mindy: (horrified) I'm gonna be bald!?Neptune: Thinning!
- Three words. The Waiter Scene.
Spongebob: (is drunk on icecream) "Alright folks, this one goes out to my two bestest friends in the whole world! Patrick and this big peanut guy! It's a little diddy called, WAAIIIIITER!!!" (falls over)
SpongeBob: Patrick! HeyWHASSUPBUDDY-?! (faceplant)
- The morning after. Oh dear GOD, the morning after. SpongeBob wakes up on the floor of Goofy Goober's Ice Cream Party Boat, which is now a complete wreck. The guy inexplicably but clearly has a hangover, his slurred speech and drunken behaviour are a hilarity to watch. Especially when he angrily remembers about Mr Krabs not promoting him to Manager, and when he notices Patrick unconscious under a table - Tom Kenny's delivery of this line is PERFECT:
SpongeBob: (belch) I'VE got somethin' ta say about Mr...(holds back vomit) Kraaabs!Mr Krabs: SpongeBob, me boy! You've come just in time! Please, tell King Neptune all about me.SpongeBob: I have worked for Mr Krabs for ma-many years, and always thought he was a great boss!Mr Krabs: (to King Neptune) You see? A great boss!SpongeBob: I NOW realise that he's a GREAT BIG JERK!!! (Mr Krabs turns to him, shell-shocked) I DESERVED THAT MANAGER'S JOB! Butyoudidn'tgiveittome! Because you said I'mma...KID! Well I am one hundred per-cent MAAAN! And this MAAAN has got somethin' ta saaay to yoooouuuu! (blows gigantic raspberry, then smiles smugly) THERE! I think I made my point!
- SpongeBob later shows up at the Krusty Krab 2, where King Neptune has just arrived accusing Mr Krabs of stealing his crown. Still hungover (and mistaking the KING for a woman), he tells off Mr Krabs for thinking that he's still a kid:
- Mr Krabs' face in that scene. Priceless.
- Not to mention the music used the whole time Hungover!SpongeBob is on screen: "Too Tired", which is pretty much the theme song of any hangover ever.
- "Anyone else? No? Well, then..." *Shoots fire at Mr. Krabs*
- "Ooh! Me pants are on fire! Me underwear's on fire! 'I'M'' ON FIRE!*dives into a bucket of water*
- "Why do I always get the nuts?"
- The Mariachi fish. They do absolutely nothing but play and watch the Cyclops writhe in agony from the angry revived fish.
- "What will it be fellas? Mustard or ketchup? (slaps knee) Ayee yuk yuk yuk ayee hah!"
- The Elevator Scene. First, Spongebob and Patrick are on their way to the Patty Wagon, while dramatic music is playing. But, then the dramatic music stops and is replaced by calm elevator music as the two stand, expressionless, in the elevator. And then dramatic music starts playing again as the duo run out.
- Three words: Real. Boy. Ending.◊
Neptune: Where is [Spongebob] anyway?Spongebob: I'm up here. (hanging near the ceiling by support cables while wearing a ridiculous wizard outfit)Patrick: (walks up while still having long legs with fishnets) I'm on it.
- The Cyclops in general. There's just something really absurd about a guy who runs a seaside gift shop walking around in an old-fashioned diver's suit above water.
- After the Cyclops puts SpongeBob and Patrick under a heat lamp to dry them out, he cackles maniacally, and... picks up a book and goes to the bathroom, humming to himself.
- "He's making a humorous diorama of... ALEXANDER CLAM BELL!"
- "All bubble blowing babies will be beaten senseless by every able-bodied patron in the bar."
- The faces Spongebob and Patrick make during certain points in the film, like when they discover the Patty Wagon at the tough guy bar or when the monster in the trench swallows the "ice cream monster".
- "Did you see my butt?"
- This bit:
Patrick: Did you see my underwear?Mindy: No, Patrick.Patrick: (holding shorts) Did you want to?
- "So...you think I'm...stalling?"
- The scream Neptune makes when he finds out that his crown is in Shell City:
Neptune: MY CROWN IS IN THE FORBIDDEN SHELL CITY!? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!! (Readies trident) PREPARE TO BURN, KRABS!
- "WHERE AM I, IN CRAZYTOWN?!" An interview revealed that this was Neptune's VA Jeffrey Tambor's favorite line in the movie.
- The "baby hunt" scene. After one of the testosterone-poisoned thugs finds a bubble from the aforementioned "bubble party", he makes everyone line up and starts playing the Goofy Goober song to weed out the "babies" (because "no baby can resist singing along" to the Goober theme). He gets to Patrick and Spongebob, and starts applying the nails by singing a few lyrics in a menacing tone. Finally, they can't take it, open their mouths... and a pair of Siamese-twins bust out instead, causing them to get beaten up.
Thug Leader: So...nobody knows?Random Thug: Maybe it wa-Thug Leader: SHUT UP! (throws chair at him)
- "Oh! Oh! Wait! I want to make a distraction!"
- Then: "I have to use the bathroom."
- Even better, when Patrick asks for everyone's attention, the thugs look in his direction. One of them (who passed out) simply gets up when he says this.
- HEY!!! WHO BLEW THIS BUBBLE?!?!
- Now in Overwatch flavor!
- This moment is oddly quaint:
- "Oh! Oh! Wait! I want to make a distraction!"
- Though SpongeBob and Patrick's "death" scene is very sad, there is one funny part.
SpongeBob: Well, it looks like what everybody said about us is true, Patrick.Patrick: You mean that we're attractive?
Parrot: Awwk, shut up and look at the screen!
- The sadness is lightened a bit when it cuts to the audience and every single pirate is bawling their eyes out, until the captain's parrot (not Potty, but sounds just like him) points out that they're missing something important.
- "GOOFY GOOBER ICE-CREAM PARTY BOAT!!!"
Spongebob: We're gonna party till we're purple!Patrick: I LOVE BEING PURPLE!!!
- David Hasselhoff coming out of nowhere to bring Spongebob and Patrick back to Bikini Bottom.
David: (Happily floating in the sea on his back, hands behind his head) Ya done good, Hasselhoff. Ya done- (accidentally gets blasted by King Neptune's fire) ...Ow.
- It gets even funnier in his last scene, after he succeeds in returning them home:
- The looks on Spongebob and Patrick's faces after a giant eel eats the frogfish that ate their boat. There's a good reason it became a meme.
- Both times Dennis gets knocked out. The first time he gets squashed by BIGGER BOOT! The second time he gets face planted on a catamaran.
- "I'm supposed to get a toy with this?" (slap) "Thanks."
- When Dennis makes a dreaded return, Patrick decides to take action:
Spongebob: (frightened) Patrick run!Patrick: (stops Spongebob) No. I'm tired of running. (cracks knuckles) If we run now we will never sto- (gets punched mid-sentence by Dennis) AAAAAA-HAH-HAAAAAA! RUN, SPONGEBOB!
- Spongebob handing over Goober Dollars instead of real money in order to bribe his way out of being killed by Dennis. Dennis is not amused.
- When Dennis gets to the Thug Tug, the thugs start trying to rough him up and restate their motto. Dennis punches the leader of the thugs back into the Tug, and as he is sent flying in, the thugs slow down their recital of the motto.
- The grin on David Hasselhoff's face as he's racing through the water like a speedboat. As if he's fully aware that he's lampooning his image - like a parody of Baywatch - and loving every minute of it.
- When Mr. Krabs promotes Squidward instead of SpongeBob.
Krabs: Now, before we begin with the ribbon-cutting, I'd Iike to announce the name of our new manager.
Spongebob: Yay! Yeah! Yeah! Now we're talking! Yeah!
Krabs: Yes. Well, anyway... The new manager is a loyal, hard-working employee.
Krabs: The obvious choice for the job.
Spongebob: He's right.
Krabs: A name you all know. It starts with an S.
Spongebob: That's me.
Krabs: Please welcome our new manager... ...Squidward Tentacles!
Spongebob: Yes! YEAH!!! Oh, better luck next time, buddy. Whoo! Yeah! All right! (goes up to podium) People of Bikini Bottom, as the manager of—
Spongebob: Hold the phone, folks, I'm getting an important news flash from Mr. Krabs. Go ahead, Mr. K. (Krabs whispers into his ear) I'm making a complete what of myself? (more whispering) The most embarrassing thing you've ever seen? (more whispering) And now it's worse because I'm repeating everything you say into the microphone?