- Mars' prophecy in "Son of Neptune".
Octavian: This says "Go to Alaska. Find Thanatos and free him. Come back by sundown on June twenty-fourth or die."
Mars: Yes. Is that not clear?
Octavian: Well, my lord... usually prophecies are unclear. They're wrapped in riddles. They rhyme, and...
Mars (casually pulling out a grenade): Yes?
Octavian: The prophecy is clear! A quest!
Mars: Good answer.
- In Titan's Curse, Percy & Co. track down Nereus, the old man of the sea, so they can shake him up for some answers. When they pass by him in Son of Neptune, Nereus points one bony finger at Percy and mouths, "Don't even think about it."
- Frank bashing Alcyoneus repeatedly on the nose with his shield to keep him unconscious while they drag him out of Alaska.
- The video-scroll message that is almost at the ending of "Son Of Neptune" can count as funny.
Leo: What's my title? Am I like admiral, or captain, or...
Piper: Repair Boy.
Leo: Very funny, Piper.
- This exchange in The Son of Neptune when Hazel and Frank explain the war games to Percy:
Hazel: "No one dies. Well, not usually And if they do-"
Frank: (imitating Vitellius) "They're wimps! Back in my day, we died all the time, and we liked it!"
- And this one, between Frank and Percy:
Frank: Can your sword do grenade form?
Percy: No. Shut up.
- "Spears are good for subtraction."
- Percy is mad because Poseidon gave the Zhangs the power to change shape while he can't, rendering Frank nearly speechless given the terrifyingly awesome powers Percy has revealed; giant fists of Tiber water, exploding water cannon, mini-hurricanes...
- Percy's reaction to accidentally finding Polybotes leading the invasion army south toward New Rome.
- Anything to do with schist.
- "Please don't let there be an app for reaping souls."
- "Percy hated tests. Since he lost his memory, his entire life felt like one big fill-in-the-blank. He was __ from __, he felt like __, and if the monsters caught him, he'd be __."
- A conversation between June and Percy:
June: All roads lead there, child. You should know that.
- Percy asks a whale to carry them to Alaska. The whale asks if they're seals, and Percy replies, 'No, but I've got a man satchel full of macrobiotic beef jerky.'
Promise not to feed me this, and I will take you north.
- Pretty much anything to do with Percy's rainbow man-satchel, actually.
- "O Fleecy, do me a solid. Show Reyna at Camp Jupiter."
- Iris calls the people who work in her store ROFLcopters.
- When Frank asks Percy if Arion is "tame".
Percy: I don't think so. He just said "I will trample you to death, silly Chinese Canadian baby man"
Hazel: You speak Horse?!
Frank: Baby Man??!!
- Anything Percy Translates for Arion
- Theres also the messages the narrator interprets from Arion:
he [Arion] snorted with satisfaction, as if to say, "That's how we run, fools!"
- Percy and Hazel's individual reactions to finding out that Arion the horse is a son of Neptune were pretty priceless.
- As in the first series, half the things Tyson is involved in. One gem in particular, involving Ella:
Ella: The groin. The Earthborn's groin is sensitive.
- "The coffee shops were doing a brisk business, and street musicians filled the air with the sounds of guitar, lyre, panpipes, and armpit noises."
- This exchange:
Terminus: You seem to be clean. Do you have anything to declare?
Percy: Yes. I declare this is stupid.
- Pretty much anything Terminus says. He's very sensitive about his lack of arms, as well as being Super OCD.
Terminus: Ha ha! You see that? I am strangling you with my mighty arms!
*Polybotes looks at him like he's crazy, and then proceeds to smash the bust Terminus is inhabiting.
Terminus' head: OH YOU DID NOT! I AM VERY ANGRY NOW!
- "Tree. Tree. Tree."
- "Octavian screamed in a shrill voice — maybe ordering the First Cohort to stand their ground, maybe trying to sing soprano..."
- Mars asking the Roman legionnaires for a pen. Nobody has one.
"Two hundred Romans, and no one's got a pen?"
- This one gets funnier in hindsight when you find out that Percy's sword, Riptide, actually can do pen form (when the cap is placed on the opposite end) in House of Hades.
- When Octavian gives Frank the laurel wreath badge and promotes him to the rank of centurion:
Senator 1: He's still a probie!
Senator 2: Impossible!
Senator 3: Water cannon up my nose!
- Finding out that Amazon.com is run by Amazons.
- "Welcome to Canada, idiot."