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Funny / Phelous 2019 Episodes

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    Animal Soccer World (Dingo Pictures) 
  • When one of the dogs is wondering if the soccer match will have a real goal:
    Dog (voiced by Phelous): I don't know how to be part of something that has an actual goal. That's why I'm in Dingo movies.
  • A dog that resembles Poochie is part of the players.
    Phelous: Shut up, Poochie, you think everything's awesome!
  • Phelous brings up an Amazon listing for the EastWest dub of Alladin which says it starred Dwayne Johnson and Mark Wahlberg. Cue him putting their voices over clips of the movie's characters.
    Alladin: THE ROCK WANTS TO LEAVE YOU WITH SOMETHING, LEAVE YOU AND YOUR ANGRY FACES WITH SOMETHING!
    The Rock: Can you image India?
    Wizard: What? No!
    Phelous: You know Rock, you really don't have to be in this remake...
  • Phelous thinks the humanoid bird news reporter character Harry looks like the animators simply redrew Inspector Gadget as a bird.
    Doo do do do Reporter Birdhole do do do dooooo
  • YOUTH INTERRUPTING BEAR
  • "So to stop a fight over a ball, they're going to have a fight over a ball...ooooookay..."
  • Phelous theorizes on why King MaGod didn't want to participate in the soccer game:
    King MaGod: That's right! I am just tooooo ooold! And I won't be busy placing bets on the game! By the waaay, make sure to throooow the gaaame!
  • He is horrified by the "S&M ducks"note  and constantly roots for the Mufasa knock-off from Lion and the King to eat them.
  • At one point we get two creepily-drawn monkeys squatting on the ground very, uh, evocatively:
    Monkeys: Start the game!
    Phelous: Eww! Get them off the screen!
    (shot is immediately replaced by yet another one of the hooligan ducks)
    Hooligan Ducks: HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!
    Phelous: D'AAH! DON'T PUT THEM ON THE SCREEN EITHER!
  • The ending: After Phelous laments the low amount of screen-time Wabuu received in the movie, Harry claims that Wabuu was the worst player on both the soccer teams. Wabuu takes offense to this and chops Harry's head off with an ax, and the soccer game subsequently goes completely off the rails as Phelous narrates. Phelous calls the whole event the "Dingo Pictures Screwjob".

    Beauty and the Beast (Britannica) 
  • In the first story Beauty asked to see her father, she looks into a magic mirror to see him crying.
    Phelous Beauty: Aaahh that's the stuf!
  • In the third story on the video, an adaptation of an Arctic folk tale called Sedna, Sedna's father acts in a blatantly unheroic manner out of complete nowhere when he tosses Sedna overboard to save himself as they are fleeing the storm created by the bird spirit on a kayak (after he had just gone all that way to rescue her), prompting ridicule from Phelous:
    Phelous: Wow, kinda wish you hadn't bothered with the rescue now, Pops.

    Narrator: "[Sedna's father] was filled with sadness for his poor daughter."
    Phelous: Gee, if only someone hadn't shoved her into the sea!
    • And later when Sedna's father falls through the ice and is led to where Sedna now sits alive and well at the bottom of the sea:
    Narrator: "The sea animals guided him to his daughter...he lives there now and keeps her company."
    Phelous: Well, that's going to be awkward...

    Father: Well, er, about trying to kill you, Sedna, I felt bad about it afterwards! Does that give me any credit?
    Sedna: No.
    Father: Well, crap...

    Rapunzel (Bevanfield) 
  • Phelous declares Rapunzel's parents to be the true villains of the piece after a relatively short time. Evidence: Rapunzel's dad not noticing that his wife was starving to death, Rapunzel's mother refusing to eat anything but the salad even though there was plenty of food in the house, and the fact that they don't even bother to ask the witch for her vegetables and just jump right to theft.
  • When the witch agrees to let Rapunzel's parents take her salad if they give her their first child, Phelous points out this witch is actually pretty nice, since not only does she let them use her garden even though she had every right to be mad at them for stealing her property, but she also offers free baby-sitting.
  • The father gets caught by the witch while stealing from her garden, and Phelous says that she did a terrible thing: put up a "Two Bad Neighbors" sign near her garden.
  • Phelous' Face Palm at the Prince looking for the source of Rapunzel's song in the trees, instead of the tower which is the only building visible nearby and standing right next to him.
  • Phelous mentions that earlier versions of the tale had the prince bring small amounts of thread to Rapunzel every visit, so she could eventually weave it into a rope to escape. Phelous then notes that the Bevanfield prince decided to just bring a ladder, and begrudgingly admits that he had the less stupid escape plan.
  • The witch in the story gets rid of the prince by waiting for him in the tower with Rapunzel's cut hair attached next to her. When he arrives, she detaches the hair, causing him to fall to the ground. Cue her delivering her Evil Laugh... until she realizes that because she just let the hair fall, she now has no way to leave the tower herself.
    Phelous: And the moral of the story is — think ahead. Or think at all!

    Resident Evil 2 Re-Make 

    Sleeping Beauty (Goodtimes) 
  • When it turns out the evil fairy wasn't invited in this version because the king and queen thought she was dead, Phelous points out they really should have sent people check out to make sure, given they knew how vindicative she would be.
  • In this version, the good fairy altering the curse includes a clause stating that the evil fairy will die as a result, leading Phelous to conclude this incarnation of the good fairy is a Sociopathic Hero.
  • His Alternative Character Interpretation of Sleeping Beauty going mad with power the very moment she manages to leave her room, causing him to root for the evil fairy to stop her before she becomes an insane tyrant.
  • His hilarity at the various failed methods used by the Princes to get pass the thorns, including one trying to catapult himself on the other side. Made even better by the fact it's followed by the evil fairy stating each prince is getting closer, leaving Phelous wondering what the heck she's talking about.

    Goldilocks and the Three Bears (Bevanfield) 
  • Phelous brings out the fireworks when he sees Father Bear putting away his boots.
    • Speaking of boots, he remarks that Father Bear's yellow boots must mean that he's the ancestor of Paddington.
  • When Mother Bear puts a napkin around Baby Bear's neck, Phelous narrates her strangling "the little fusspot".
  • While Phelous doesn't like Goldilocks messing up the bears' home, the only thing he approves her doing is getting mud on the walls, which he says earlier clashes badly with the animation.

    Beast Machines Series Review 
  • The Running Gag of Phelous intepreting Optimus Primal's new faith in the Oracle and pro-organic stance as him becoming a hippie who preaches the Maximals about praying to the Oracle and eating only organic products.
  • While describing why he's not found of the new techno-organic designs for the Maximals, Phelous comments that he hates Rattrap's new design the most, due to his little boy face and wheel instead of legs. Also because he bangs a plant.
  • Also his opinion of Megatron's new design with wires connecting him to Cybertron, which he compares to a hangover with a curtain on it:
    Phelous: Get with the times, Megatron! Go wireless!
  • When describing how Megatron now controls all of Cybertron, Phelous points this retroactively makes all his elaborate and dangerous schemes from Beast Warsnote  a pointless waste of time, since apparently all he had to do in order to take over the whole planet was fall into a Transwarp to arrive earlier in the timeline and somehow create a supervirus powerful enough to steal the Sparks of all the Transformers on it.
    Phelous: Man, stealing this Golden Disk sure was a waste of time! Why bother with a plan when all you have to do to win Beast Wars is fall off a ship travelling in transwarp and make a supervirus?
  • While discussing how inconsistant Beast Machines is when referring G1, in particular the Key of Vector Sigma being called "an old Autobot legend" by Optimus and Nightscream (even though it was quite clearly used back in the G1 era and should be listed as real in historical records), Phelous deduces Nightscream must be a fan only of the pre-movie seasons.
  • Phelous notices a few instance where the voice actor for Jetstorm slips back into the voice he used for Vegeta:
    Phelous!Jetstorm: Optimus Primal was an average fighter, but he was a brilliant botanist!
  • When discussing the whole infamous story arc about Rhinox/Tankor suddenly wanting to conquer Cybertron for himself and scheming against both Megatron and Optimus:
    Phelous: Ah, that is classic Rhinox, I tell yah!
  • When commenting about how little Optimus Primal's death affected him, Phelous contrasts it to Dinobot's death in Beast Wars, which was probably the saddest he ever felt while watching Transformers. Well, aside from Starscream's death in the movie, but that one's because he's kind of a weirdo.
  • When talking about Megatron's new giant head body, Phelous comments that when trailers about it came out and indicated there would be a giant head, fans were expecting Unicron to show up. He then laments how disappointed they must have felt when it turned out to just be Megatron being an idiot again.
  • "So I am Transformed! I am going to roll out... a joint! Because it's organic! Can't be bad! Or it can. Whatever."

    Tangled Up 
  • Once again, Phelous denounces Rapunzel's parents as blatant Designated Heroes for trying to steal from the witch's garden instead of just asking her to buy some vegetables or trying to negotiate them. Made even worse by the fact that in this version, they instantly agree to give up their only child to the witch for vegetables without so much as a protest.
  • Phelous pointing out how impractical the whole keeping Rapunzel in a tower trick is, what with questioning how she showers or goes to the bathroom or the issue of bringing a baby sitter, as well as the fact that, since the witch lives in a castle in this version, she probably had more than enough room to raise her here.
  • "Anyway, to make a long story short, Santa killed the- I mean, Rapunzel grew up."
  • In the second version of the tale, Phelous once again sees the Witch as a Designated Villain, commenting that this one is even nicer, since while she did take Fenchelchen away from her birth mother and lock her in a tower, she made up for it by teaching her foster daughter magic.
    Phelous: Seriously, the witch seems like a really cool mother! Besides being, you know, a bit strict, she did teach her some dope tricks!
  • When Fenchelchen tries to hide the prince by turning him into a various object only for the witch to always immediately spot him, Phelous comments that she should not be surprised the disguise keeps failing, given the prince retains his eyeballs no matter the shape she gives him.
    Phelous: How does the witch keep realizing which object the prince is? It's almost like there's an obvious tell or something!
  • This exchange:
    Witch: I. Want. THAT. COOKIE!
    Phelous!Cookie Monster: Me think you have problems...
  • During the King Solomon part of the video, there is a bit where Solomon is talking to an eagle. Phelous naturally does some dub humor by splicing in Sam the Eagle.
    Eagle: You are all weirdos!... ugh.

    Town Musicians of Bremen (Dingo Pictures) 
  • An out-of-place narration of "started telling"*  from the adult East-West dubber is noted by Phelous to sound bizarrely threatening and proceeds to become a Running Gag through the rest of the video.
  • The narrator tells the story in a dull, flat tone, but keeps cracking up whenever he mentions poo.
  • The narrator of the movie keeps referring to the rooster as a cock, leading to several Heh Heh, You Said "X" jokes from Phelous.
    Narrator: No cock can handle that.
    Phelous: "Dingo's Bremen": more than a cock can handle.

    TMNT Movie Edits 

    Happy Death Day 
  • "Heeeeey, it's not my birthday! And now I gotta review yet another movie! Wait, what?!"
  • Phelous gets into an argument with his Triangle review self, who then asks how it comes they're still the same age despite the review having been 9 years ago. Phelous answered he wasn't going to CGI his face for a stupid joke.
  • Phelous reveals the movie was in Development Hell for 10 years, as it was originally going to be a movie titled "Half to Death", be directed by Micheal Bay, and star Megan Fox.
    Phelous: I'm glad we got Happy Death Day ten years later instead!
  • When it's revealed some of the damages Tree suffers when dying carry on in the next loop:
    Phelous: Uuurgh, stupid Game Genie! I thought I was playing with infinite life, but really it's just a really high number of lives! That's not the same thing!
  • When bringing up the killer's creepy baby mask being based on Tree's school mascott, Phelous is confused about why they would pick such an uncanney disturbing design for their mascott. The best explanation he can find is that it was intentional to dissuade the other team from competing.
    Phelous!Other team: Oh! I don't want to play against that whole school with the weird baby mask! Let's just forfeit!
  • Phelous comment that Big Bad Lori had to be unhinged if her plan A was a poisoned cupcake and her plan B to "chase Tree around like the Terminator wearing a baby mask and pin it on a serial killer that you've set free."
  • When discussing the movie's original ending, which had Doctor Butler's wife sneaking in to murder Tree at the hospital as revenge for sleeping with her husband, Phelous comments they did well to remove it, as aside from being a Downer Ending that made all Tree's Character Development pointless, it would have added a second insane woman inexplicably willing to kill for the Jerkass cheating husband.
    Phelous: I don't know, maybe I'm missing something really wonderful about this guy....

    The Cat on Boots (Dingo Pictures) 
  • Everytime someone refers to the title character as Puss in Boots, Phelous reminds them that this is supposed to be the Cat ON Boots.
    • Eventually when the king's coachman does call him Cat on Boots, Phelous thinks that he was the only one who was let in on the title change.
  • Good old Rasputin is back to his old tricks in a cameo when Phelous is astounded how easy it was for the cat to get past the king's guards:
    Phelous!Rasputin: I want to see the king. I have a present for him. Let me in.
    Phelous!Guard: Is it that bomb?
    Phelous!Rasputin: No, it's... something else.
    Phelous!Guard: Oh, okay. Go on in.
    '''(cue the palace exploding accompanied by wah-wah music.)
  • When the cat calls the king "Mr. King", Phelous wonders if his name is just "King King".
  • After seeing all the idiot servants who work for the king and even the guard of the Magician's castle letting the cat in with no resistance, Phelous concludes that the story of Puss in Boots is a tale of horrible employees.
  • Right after the cat eats the Magician-turned-mouse:
    Cat: Doesn't taste bad for a magician.
    Phelous: How many magicians have you eaten?
  • At the end when the king gives Hans the hand of his daughter and half the kingdom, his head falls off to reveal that he was actually Wabuu in disguise!
    Wabuu: That is what I would say if you weren't soooo stupid! Hehehe.
    • Phelous admits that this would explain why the king looked so fake even compared to other Dingo characters.
  • When Phelous learns that the movie was originally supposed to end with a shot of the Cat on Boots smoking a cigar (which was changed to Dingo's chef character playing a lute in a jester suit), he assumes that this was probably changed because Dingo didn't want kids to pick up smoking. Lying, threatening people with death and murder are OK, but smoking is crossing a line. Cue Phelous butchering someone with an axe, laughing maniacally.
    Phelous: I learned it from watching you, Cat on Boots! I learned it from watching you! False! That was an example of lying, which I learned from the Cat on Boots.
  • After all is said and done, Phelous decides to make a live-action remake of Dingo's Cat on Boots like a certain other studio. It features a deeply bored cat sitting on a pile of boots for a couple seconds.
    Phelous: Well, what else were you expecting?

    We Wish You a Turtle Christmas 
  • Phelous expecting the opening song "We're The Turtles" to be the one from the Coming Out Of Their Shells concert (actually named "Count On Us"), only to be disappointed when it turns out to be a different song with more threatening lyrics.
  • When the turtles sing "Deck The Halls" in a Reggae style, Leonardo sings in a very poorly acted Jamaican accent, which Phelous is dumbfounded at.
  • Phelous thinking the turtles might have forgotten to get Splinter a gift because they got one for Vernon.
  • During "Gotta Get A Gift", Phelous edited the lyrics so that after singing about how they forgot to get Splinter a present, the turtles sing "I hate Splinter!"
  • The bit where Michelangelo deciding to randomly sing opera on the streets of Brooklyn is portrayed as a very unwise idea:
    Phelous (as a Citizen of Brooklyn): 'EY! KEEP IT DOWN OUT THERE! IT'S CHRISTMAS, YOU ASSWIPES!
    (the Turtles flee in panic as gunshots are fired at them)
    Michelangelo: I've made a huge mistake.
  • After the opera segment, Raphael notes that they only have an hour left before the stores close. Given that they had two hours before the singing started, Phelous is aghast that the song somehow consumed an entire hour.
  • Phelous saying that he used to love the "Wrap Rap" until the "Rap-Rap"note  jokes from the Ghostbusters 2 Flip N'Fun jokebook he previously talked about on MMZ ruined it, until he remembers he always hated the song.

    The Horrifying Christmas Light (Littlest Light on the Christmas Tree) 
  • When a character drives into a sudden fog that wasn't there in the previous shot: They found him dead/The very next day
  • The villain (a fat shopkeeper named... Girthmore) loudly proclaims to no one, "Keep your hands off my money!"
    Simon Greedwell: Bury me with my money.
  • Phelous is forced to admit that Girthmore is smarter than some of the villains he's seen in Christmas specials, as he actually wants more Christmases in order to maximize his profit margins.

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