"I've never shaved him this close before!" (Smee thought Hook lost his head.)
"Cap'n... no splash."
"So you want a splash, Mr Starkey? I'LL GIVE YA A SPLASH!!"
This dialogue:
Wendy: Father! What have you done to your shirt? Mr. Darling: What have I...? OOOHH!!!
"Girls talk too much."
Followed by Wendy's "Yes, girls talk too...huh? Oh..."
The mermaids. "We were only trying to drown her."
Smee shaves the feathers off a seagull's butt. Then he puts some aftershave on his hand and gave the seagull a nice firm pat on the butt.
Drunk Smee. "*sobs* Ain't it a BLOOMIN' *hic* SHAME?!!"
Tinkerbell's disgust at the size of her hips...and then a few moments later those same hips get her stuck in a keyhole.
When Peter asks Tink if she knew her treachery could have killed Wendy, Tink pauses, then just shamelessly smiles and nods her head.
The crocodile chase in Skull Rock. Enough said.
"SMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Even better is when he goes skimming off over the ocean at the movie's end, so it goes, "SMEEEE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE..."
When Pan finds out that Tiger Lily has been kidnapped by Hook, the Crocodile is pursuing Hook as usual, he then stops and looks at Peter and Wendy, smiling at them before continuing his pursuit, as though his thought process is, "Food Food Food Oh hi Peter, Food Food Food."
More of the Crocodile. Just his expressions when he's watching the final battle with Hook, waiting for Hook to fall overboard. At one point, he's just moving his arm around in the water, watching the battle with a very bored expression, as if to say "Yay, exciting, yipee, when is it gonna be time to eat?"
"The poor captain has a splitting headache. We mustn't annoy him." *KLANG*
The scene where Hook orders Smee to capture Tink, where Smee lands in his dinghy, rows the boat on the deck and falls overboard.
Just the animation and how fast it is really sells it. The way Smee fumbles with the oars and zooms right off the deck, crashing through the framework all in a matter of seconds kills me.
Return To Neverland
The Lost Boys get some really funny moments in this movie.
Cubby's indignant "Let's play the 'No more hitting Cubby on the head' game!" when the Lost Boys are arguing about which game to play. He immediately gets bonked on the head again.
Slightly, Nibs and the Twins' reaction when Peter comments that Jane is acting like a grown-up: Slightly pretends to stick a finger down his throat, the Twins back off, huddle together and stick out a wooden sword to defend themselves, and Nibs is making a cross out of his index fingers to ward off the evil word!
When Peter tosses Jane off a huge rock to try and make her fly, the Lost Boys run frantically around on the ground below, trying to catch her, all shouting "I got her! I got her!" They spectacularly fail to catch her, and she crashes into the ground, making a Jane-shaped hole. Upon which Cubby says, guiltily: "I thought you said you got her..."
While the scene where Slightly plays "doctor" to Tinkerbell is not played for laughs, there is a funny detail in that the thermometer he uses is simply marked "GOOD — OK — VERY BAD," and Slightly's diagnose after checking the thermometer is that it "looks kinda bad."
Causing Cubby to freak out: "Kinda bad?! KINDA?! Oh, it's hopeless! Poor little Tinkerbell!"
Tootles ignoring every possible physical law and lifting up all the water in a small puddle — in which a fish is lounging as if in a hot-tub — to see if Jane is hiding under the water. Made even better by the stunned look on the face of the fish.
When Peter tells the captured boys "Be brave, lads! Don't let them see you cry!", they immediately slink behind the mast they're tied to so the pirates won't see them... and then begin bawling loudly.
Captain Hook showing Jane a picture of his "mother" — who looks like Hook in drag, complete with pencil-mustache and two hooks.
"I promised I wouldn't harm a single hair on his head. And —" *ploink!* "— THIS is the one I won't harm!"
Jane sailing off, to the triumphant theme of "Rule Britannia"... only for the song to lose in strength as the raft sinks, finishing of with a strong note when Jane herself falls in.
Peter just falling out of the sky following Jane claiming he was "full of hot air".
