Funny / Maya and the Three

Chapter 1: Quinceañera

• A trio of Jaguar Warriors is seen sneaking into the palace and meeting up with a heavily-armored man who asks them if they have "the package". Upon being presented with it, the man smiles and declares that they're ready for the next stage:
  Eagle Warrior: On my command, we engage! Ready? Uno, dos —
  Jaguar Warriors: —TREEEES!!
  (they all charge into Maya's room)
  All four warriors in unison: (presenting a birthday cake) HAPPY DAY OF CORONATION, MAYA!!
  • Lance, Daggers, and Shield hammily present their gifts to their sister (the golden pearl, the Bandit Queen's jeweled earring, and a hummingbird hatchling from the Cursed Forest respectively), only for the Queen to walk in and show them that Maya's gone and left a turkey in her place under the covers.
• Chiapa is introduced as a big, intimidating warrior cat... until he spots a ball of yarn on the floor and starts acting like a housecat.
  Teca King: Chiapa, por favor! You are a battle cat. Act like one.
  (Chiapa spits out the yarn and roars)
• The rules and the price of Illegal Bare-Knuckle Fighting Pit:
  Announcer: Whoever's the least dead at the end gets the gold price of... gold!
  • Maya in the fighting pit. She's so excited to meet Bear Killah that she just cannot stop yammering at him.
    Maya: (excited) It's such an honor to meet you, Mr. Bear Killah!
• The Gran Bruja snaps her fingers and turns her second in command into a frog after he mocks her bad feeling about Maya's coronation.
• Maya's coronation outfit is so fancy and impractical that her arms are supported with ropes from her headdress and she can barely walk in that thing.
  Lance: (upon seeing Maya) Oh!
  Daggers: She looks—
  Shield: —like a real princess!
  (Maya trips over her dress and falls on her face)
• Zatz's introduction. He crashes Maya's coronation by riding his fire-breathing skeletal steed into the courtyard, dismounts and plants the gods' banner on the flagstones, and starts walking ominously towards everyone, dressed in a black armor adorned with green flames, glowing red eyes, Spikes of Villainy, and Shoulders of Doom. Then he takes off his helmet while flipping his hair, and everyone sighs at how handsome he is.
• After Zatz knocks out all three of Maya's brothers with Shield's own shield:
  Barbarian King: (whistles, impressed) Bat prince is good!
  Barbarian Princess: (as Zatz performs another Hair Flip) Yeah. He fights pretty well, too.
  Barbarian King: Huh?
• King Teca's almost childish glee at the Great Prophecy seemingly coming true at last. He's downright giddy while he's fighting the two golems.

Chapter 2: The Prophecy

• Maya asks about her birth mother:
  Queen Teca: This... This isn't easy to discuss.
  Maya: Well, Papa could have said... (lowers her voice and starts stomping around, imitating her father) "And by the way, Maya, the gods do walk among us, and I cheated on your mother with one of them, and then boom! You were born."
• When Maya asks her mother if she was ever angry at her father for cheating on her.
  Queen Teca: Oh I was furious. It was the first time I ever stabbed him!
  King Teca:(giddily) I can still fit my finger in the stabby hole!
• The Teca army marches off while boisterously chanting their battle cry ("Teca! Teca! Teca!"). However, the march to the Divine Gate is so long that by the time they get there they barely have the energy to wheeze it.
• Zatz babbling about Maya to his father is somewhere between funny and endearing. It's so odd to see the dark and gloomy Prince of Bats acting like a love-struck teenager.
  • Camazotz, Zatz's father, sporting a completely deadpan expression on his face as his son is talking about Maya.
• Eagle Claw is a BFS in Maya's hands; in the King's, it's like a toothpick.
• A starving Maya and Chiapa run into a rabbit, and start licking their chops at the prospect of food. The rabbit flashes an "Oh, Crap!" Smile and bolts it before he becomes lunch.
• Zatz's completely deadpan reactions to most of Acat's behavior towards him. While she continuously acts like the typical clingy, affectionate girlfriend, (ie. cuddling up to him in front of Mictlan, stroking his chest, kissing him), Zatz just looks completely done with her antics.
• Acat starts toying with Maya by taunting her from the shadows. Maya isn't having it:
  Maya: Hey, whoever you are, too chicken to fight me one-on-one? (starts making sqwaking noises)
  Acat: Ugh! (curses in Spanish) That stupid half-breed did not just call me out!
  Zatz: (stone-faced) Remember our mission.
• Even while fighting an Ax-Crazy warrior goddess, Maya still manages to find time to geek out about how cool her opponent is, particularly after Acat effortlessly slings around a giant tree in an attempt to crush Maya.
  Maya: That was amazing! If you weren't trying to kill me, we could be best friends!
• Zatz watching the fight between Maya and Acat with a smile on his face.
  • When Maya knocks Acat out, Zatz cheers and congratulates her. Maya's response is a Big "SHUT UP!".
• Maya finally reaches the shores of Luna island:
  Maya: Oh, thank the gods! ...Except the ones that wanna kill me.
• Zatz tries to help Maya by tossing her a rope to climb, but Maya stubbornly refuses his offer. Cue the rock face she was climbing abruptly crumbling from underneath her, prompting her to instinctively cling to the rope anyway.
  Zatz: (laughs) Good thing that was there, huh?
  Maya: Good thing that was there, huh?!
  • One of Maya's insults to Zatz during her angry ramble sounds a bit familiar.
    Maya: You misbegotten son of a leprous dog! ^note For context: This line is almost the same insult La Muerte angrily hurls at her husband Xibalba after she discovers he cheated on their wager, with the minor difference being "son of a leprous donkey." Even funnier considering Word of God reveals that La Muerte is actually Maya's maternal aunt.

Chapter 3: The Rooster

• Child Rico's third attempt to make the frog disappear resulted in a bright flash of light and the frog perched on his head. Too bad it all goes downhill from there.
• Maya returns to the council chamber ranting at the Gran Bruja for sending her on a (seemingly) wild goose chase, only to find the chamber empty. Rico informs her that the wizards are hiding from her using an invisibility spell, and casts a spell of his own to let her see them. One councilor is sleeping, another is picking their nose, and the Gran Bruja is kissing her pet rooster.
  Maya: Seriously, guys? I can see you!
  Councilor: Can you see this? (stands up and starts twerking)
  Maya: Eugh! I wish I can unsee that.
• Maya's opinion on Rico being "the greatest wizard who ever lived" that the Gran Bruja sent her to find:
  Maya: Wait. This guy? He's like a scarecrow, but without dignity.
• Maya gets lost again.
  Rico: Um, you sure you know where you're taking us on this quest?
  Maya: I always know where I'm going. But sometimes when I get there, it's somewhere else.
  • Estefan starts making the "loose screw" gesture behind Maya's back, making Rico laugh. Maya catches on and snatches Estefan out of Rico's hand and starts throttling him as if he were a human.
  • When they hear something moving in the bushes, Estefan quickly hides behind Rico... only for Rico to immediately move and hide behind Estefan.
• Maya lets the two creepy children pet Chiapa in exchange for leading them to the Jungle Kingdom.
  Maya: Now we're even for leaving me stranded.
• Rico when the creepy children reveal themselves to be gods:
  Rico: Okay, now that's definitely my pee.
• Chiapa is still a scaredy cat.
  Maya: (squaring off against Cabrakan and Cipactli) The odds are in our favor!
  (Chiapa nopes right out of there, leaving her and Rico alone against the two gods)
  Maya: ...Then again, I've always preferred a fair fight!.
• Cabrakan is delightfully over-the-top, with a really short fuse. One of his attacks in using his own head as a giant soccer ball, which he kicks at his opponents.
• Maya manages to free herself from Cabrakan's clutches by provoking him into throwing a VERY destructive temper tantrum.
  • Super-macho Cabrakan getting progressively whinier as Maya insults him:
    Maya: What did you say your name was again, Chupacabrian?
    Cabrakan: It's Cabrakan!
    Maya: Oh, and you're the god of tantrums? Or the god of terrible husbands?
    (Cipactli giggles)
    Cabrakan: I'm the god of earthquakes!
• While Cipactli is equally as insidious as Cabrakan, she also constantly proves to be the more level-headed of the two gods:
  • As Cabrakan is gearing up to sacrifice Maya, Cipactli angrily insists against it... only to demand they bring Maya to Lord Mictlan as planned, much to Maya's dismay.
  • In the aforementioned temper tantrum, as Cabrakan is wreaking havoc and rambling about how strong he is, Cipactli facepalms as if to say "Yep, that's my husband..."
  • When Cipactli gets fed up with his shit:
    Cipactli: Enough! She's taunting you on purpose!
    Cabrakan: She is?
• There is a bit of Black Comedy to Rico accidentally breaking Esteban in half with a spell that was meant for Cabrakan.
• Maya asks Cipactli for directions to the Jungle Kingdom:
  Cipactli: Follow the bees and the sweet scent of jasmine toward the purple mist.
  (Maya smiles vacantly at her)
  Cipactli: ...Head northeast.
  (Maya continues staring)
  Cipactli: (turns Maya around and points) That way.
  Maya: Got it.

Chapter 4: The Skull

• Monkey doing a kung-fu pose and beating the snot out of the snake trying to eat little Chimi before kicking it into the sky, where it's snatched by a passing eagle.
• While Chimi's backstory is undeniably tragic, seeing an adorable, happy, and clearly harmless baby being feared and declared a monster by her community is ridiculously funny.
• Maya and Rico are covered in sleep darts from the previous episode. Rico in particular looks like a Human pincushion

porcupine, and he's so out of that he has to be carried by a Skull warrior.

• Rico attempts to speak with the Widow Queen since he claims to be good with kids. Unfortunately, he ends up insulting the young queen with his condescending tone:
  The Widow Queen: (clearly unamused) Guards, feed him to the hyenas.
• The reign of the Widow Queen is a beautiful balance of childish whimsy and very impressive competence and diplomacy for a child monarch who can't possibly be older than ten.
  • First, she appears to be waking up from a nap as Maya and Rico are brought before her. After Maya explains their presence, and the true prophecy, Widow Queen whispers to Fabiola, her doll who also seems to be acting as her advisor. Eventually, Queen invites Maya and Rico to a tea party to discuss things.
    Rico: (quietly, to Maya) Make-believe tea party time? You can't be serious.
    Widow Queen: Would you prefer the hyenas?
    Rico: I'll take my tea with two lumps.
    (Maya smiles and hastily nods in agreement)

After the jungle guard with the eyepatch tells Maya and Rico to muevete, the guard suddenly pulls out a knife and threatens Rico when Rico tells him his leg is not working. The guard with the eye patch along with another guard tries to grab Rico after Rico accidentally insults the widow queen. They are seen holding him and dropped him under the queen's demands after she recognizes Maya from the Tecas.

• The tea party itself is treated as Serious Business. Over ominious-sounding background music, the guards set the table with the showmanship of Cirque du Soleil performers, and shove Maya and Rico into their seats while majestically setting down their Queen and her doll into their own.

• The poor guards who were injured in their attempt to invite Chimi back to civilization, and one guard is shown to be wearing an eye patch, one has a golden hook, and the other has a golden hook for a head.
• When they reach the burnt-out tree, Maya assures Chiapa that there's nothing to be afraid of. Cue a barrage of arrows.
• Rico is smitten with Chimi the moment he gets a good look at her. She doesn't return the sentiment; instead, she takes the opportunity to deliver a kick to the groin.
  Rico: Oh, huevos rancheros!
• Maya encounters Zatz yet again, who assures her he was never going to take her to Lord Mictlan, but to meet his father.
  Maya: Really, why?
  Zatz: (nonchalantly) So we could sacrifice you and overthrow the god of war.
  Maya: Why is everyone so brutally honest with me today?!
  • Zatz then asks Maya to join forces with him and his father in overthrowing Lord Mictlan. Maya tries to remain confrontational, but...
    Maya: Join forces? First you wanna kill me, then you send your girlfriend after me.
    Zatz: Hmm. Ex— Ex-girlfriend. We broke up.
    Maya: (excited) You did? I-I mean, w-whatever. I'll never join forces with the likes of you.
    Zatz: (stepping closer) Why not?!
    Maya: (gets up in his face) I can't trust you!
    (the two of them share a look before awkwardly turning away from each other)
  • Zatz's awkward little expectant smile when he corrects Maya on his relationship status with Acat. It's as if he's saying "Actually, I'm single now. Soooo?

When Rico says that his leg is no more after is it injured, the jungle guard threatens to cut it off if Rico doesn't move up the stairs. The guard then pushes Rico when he stops moving.

Chapter 5: The Puma

• The fact that the Hulk Speaking Barbarians are the only tribe who recognizes the folly of declaring war on the fricking God of War and decide that they're not going to stick around to see how that goes.
  Maya: (notices the crates of weapons) Why are you packing?
  Barbarian King: Duh! The gods coming to kill us all.
  Chimi: I thought you liked to fight.
  Barbarian King: Ah, look here. Barbarians no speak good, eh, but we not stupid.
• The Barbarian King's blessing:
  Barbarian King: May the blood of your enemies be milk to your young!
  Rico: Wow, that's gotta be the grossest blessing I've ever heard.
• Maya and gang attempt to reason with Picchu while he's attacking them. Rico tries to overheat Picchu's axes, only for Picchu to tighten his grip on his weapons and keep swinging at them.
  Rico: Dang hombre, you made of stone?!
• Maya tries appealing to Picchu's pride as a warrior to convince him to join her quest. Picchu isn't convinced. Maya then frustratedly sums up her plan as: destroy the Divine Gate, fight the gods that will inevitably try to stop them, and probably die in the process.
  Chimi: Much more convincing.
  Rico: Push the death angle. Yeah. That's a great selling point.
  • Only for Picchu to immediately accept, much to everyone's confusion.
    Rico: Mm-hmm. See, we were all kind of seeing the "probably gonna die" part as a negative.
• Maya and Chimi ogle a shirtless Picchu much to Rico's chagrin. Complete with an enticing drum beat, Picchu taking his shirt off, flipping his hair in slow-mo and showing off his super ripped body. Picchu's chest hairs even make a puma shape.
  • During the bathing scene, Rico is the only one who bothers to cover his eyes —and even he's peeking from time to time.
• Maya, Chimi, and Rico introduce themselves to Picchu.
  Maya: (bows) I am Maya, princess of the Tecas, Great Eagle from the prophecy.
  Chimi: (on all fours) I am Chimi. (Maya kicks her; Chimi stands up) Uh... Chimi, cursed Skull Warrior, outcast of the Jungle Lands. (offers handshake)
  (Picchu grabs Chimi's hand and shakes her up-and-down like a metronome)
  (Chimi yips in pain and falls backwards; Maya goes to check on her)
  Rico: I'm Rico. Yep. Magic Rooster Wizard of the Luna Island. (holds out Estefan for a fistbump)
  (Picchu lightly bumps him, sending him flying backwards)
  Rico: (outraged) You're supposed to just tap it!!
  • When introducing himself, Picchu simply says his name, then anticlimactically prompts the others to start walking without adding any cool title. Everyone else is a bit miffed to see him so straight to the point.
  • The fact that the introductions take place after Picchu's undressed and bathed in front of his new friends.
• Both Chimi and Rico misinterpreting Picchu's offer to let Chimi "ride him" during their travels.
  Picchu: Chimi want to ride Picchu?
  Rico: Uhh, say what?
  Chimi: (yips in confusion)
  Picchu: (abruptly realizing his mistake) Uh, like Chiapa!
• Zatz shows up unannounced yet again.
  Maya: You! (holds her swords at his throat) How dare you sneak up on me?
  Zatz: Sneak up on you? (parries her sword and turns the tables on her) I was in front of you!
  • Cue duel.
    Zatz: Why are we fighting?
    Maya: (smiling, obviously enjoying herself) Because I hate you!
  • At one point during the duel, Zatz and Maya clash swords and end up mere inches from each other's faces. Zatz promptly tries to sneak a kiss from Maya, and all Maya can respond with is an amused grin.
• Zatz introduces himself to Rico, Chimi, and Picchu. He's mistrusted by them, but not for being a prince of the underworld:
  Rico: Greetings, spooky weirdo.
  Picchu: Picchu no like one-eye pretty boy. (Rico nods in agreement) Too fancy.
• Zatz then excuses himself, and repeats his request for Maya to join him and his father in overthrowing Lord Mictlan.
  Zatz: I know what you think of the gods, but we're not all monsters. (transforms into a swarm of bats)
  Maya: You know that is exactly what a monster would do, right?

Chapter 6: Maya and the Three

• While King Teca is recovering from the battle:
  Queen Teca to Maya: The healers have given your father medicine.
  King Teca, trying to eat a pillow: Blue corn tortillas, blue corn tortiiiiillas!
  Queen Teca: Very strong medicine.
• Rico bemoans all the fighting he's been forced into after meeting his new friends while Picchu comments it's a normal amount for him. Cue the Dark Gods...
  Picchu: (to Rico) Fine, even Picchu worry. You happy?
• Rico has the misfortune of fighting Chivo, the goat-faced god of dark magic, after telling his friends he hates goats in the last episode.
• Bone and Skull, the twin skeleton goddesses of thievery, are delightful little shits during their battle with Maya.
  • As they are fighting Maya in her bedroom, they simultaneously riffle through her stuff and bemoan that she has nothing worth stealing until they notice her brothers' gifts.
  • Skull trying on the Bandit Queen's earrings:
    Skull: How does it look? Do I have the right bone structure?
  • Bone and Skull try tempting Maya into joining them. One of the reasons they cite?
    Bone and Skull: Plus, Zatz will be there! (They make kissy noises at Maya)
  • As the two of them are going through Maya's stuff, the turkey that Maya hid under her bed in the first episode pops up again.
  • Bone and Skull's taunts of Maya are deeply hurtful, but one in particular is flat-out Refuge in Audacity:
    Skull: Face it Maya, you're just a product of your papa's biggest indescrecíon! Yeah, I said it!
  • Bone after Maya kills Skull and she and her fellow gods retreat:
    Bone: I will avenge you sister, this I swear! (loots her sister's corpse) But not today. Bye!
  • Bonus points that Bone and Skull share Manny and Frida's voice actresses.
• Maya revealing that her club can kill gods:
  King Teca: Who's papa's little god killer?!

Chapter 7: The Divine Gate

• King Teca and Lady Micte's affair in the beginning of the episode is nicely summed up between their passionate sparring scene before Lady Micte reveals her godly form to an enamored King Teca, and a "nine months later" time card and Smash Cut to Micte holding baby Maya.
• The gang's attempts at opening The Divine Gate:
  • Picchu repeatedly punches it.
  Picchu: Puma punch! Puma punch!
  • Rico attempts bribery.
  • Maya unsuccessfully pries at it.
  • Chimi sniffs and licks it
  • At one point all four of them dance around like idiots and make funny faces,
  • Chiapa stands by and falls asleep from boredom.
• Maya and the Three encounter Zatz again on their way to Mictlan's temple:
  Picchu: (sarcastically) Oi, oi, el vampiro guapo. His hair say, "trying too hard".
  (Rico nods in agreement)
  Chimi: (Absolutely smitten) His hair is like the wings of a beautiful dove. (tries to touch Zatz's hair, only for Rico to repeatedly block her hand with Estaban's. Chimi growls while Rico looks away innocently)
• Even Lord Mictlan gets a chuckle from his reaction to Maya challenging him to a fight to the death before a drastic Mood Whiplash. It's just what you'd expect from a homicidal godly maniac being challenged by a bunch of teenagers:
  Mictlan: Friends? (laughs hysterically) ''Oh no!'' (keeps laughing) You have brought the power of friendship! Ay, I am doomed!
• Maya being forced to fight her brainwashed friends by Lord Mictlan is a very dramatic scene and not funny at all... yet it still doesn't stop Picchu from suffering Amusing Injuries by Maya accidentally knocking his tooth out.
• The other gods watch Lord Mictlan's battle with Maya and the Three:
  Xtabay: (to Chivo) Should we help Lord Mictlan?
  Picchu: (bumps into them) Sorry evil gods.
  Chivo: Ah he's not going to lose.
  (moments later when Maya wins the fight)
  Chivo: (to Xtabay) See, I told you this would happen...

Chapter 8: The Bat and the Owl

• Queen Teca and Lady Micte are formally introduced to each other. The two of them hit it off right away, much to the discomfort of King Teca.
• The dinner scene that follows:
  • Lady Micte and Queen Teca are chatting like old gal pals while King Teca nervously watches. Maya is just excited to have both of her mothers by her side... until the women start taking some shots at her and her father.
    Queen Teca:(to Micte) Thank you for saving Maya when she foolishly tried to murder your husband.
    Micte: Well, I can see she gets her foolishness from your husband.
    (King Teca pales and stuffs his face)
    Maya: Hey!
    Queen Teca: Don't "hey" your mother!
    Maya: But-
    Micte: You heard your mother!
    Maya: (sulking) Having two mothers stinks...

When Chimi returns to the jungle lands, the jungle guards are scared of her and they hold their arrows, preparing to shoot her until the widow queen orders them to lower them.

Chapter 9: The Sun and the Moon

• Maya introduces Cipactli and Cabrakan to her father.
  Cipactli: Your daughter Maya saved our marriage.
  Cabrakan: With the help of the god of counseling.
  • Cabrakan as his wife transforms into her gator form and beats the crap out of Mictlan's minions:
    Cipcatli: Try to keep up, husband!
    Cabrakan: She gets lovelier everyday
• After a brief heart-to-heart with her father, the normally savvy and articulate Barbarian Princess leads their army against Skull with her own barbaric battle cry:
  Barbarian Princess: On my command, SMASH THIS SKELETON DEMON INTO DUST!
  Barbarian King: (crying tears of joy) That my little girl.
• A super morbid example from Mictlan after he kills Cipactli and Cabrakan.
  Mictlan: Ah yes. 'Til death do you part, lovers. (clinks his victims' hearts together like wine glasses before devouring them)
• Chivo summons the rest of the pantheon by taking one of his horns off his head and blowing into it. Mictlan was apparently unaware of this ability.
  Mictlan: That's a thing you could do? I didn't know you could do that."
• Queen Teca's Screaming Birth.
  • The couple welcomes their new daughter. Then the midwife informs them another baby is coming.
    King Teca: (jubilantly) TWINS?!
    Queen Teca: (furiously) This. Is all. Your. (screams again) FAAUUULLLT!!!
  • The fact that poor Queen Teca can't have a baby without some kind of a bombshell announcement attached. ^note Her first time was triplets, the second time was her husband's love child after he cheated on her, and then twins the third time.
• When Zatz transforms into a giant bat to fight Mitclan, Rico confusedly questions if he could do that this whole time.

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