Funny: Darkwing Duck

Put out the Darkwing! Put out the Darkwing!
  • At least half of his intro lines.
    Darkwing: (appears in a cloud of red smoke) I AM THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT... I AM... obviously all out of my trademark blue smoke...
  • This exchange from one of the NegaDuck episodes.
    Television Reporter: Newsflash: Darkwing Duck is loose in St. Canard! Mighty Negaduck demands that Darkwing Duck be arrested on sight.
    NegaDuck: No, I said "shot"! Darkwing Duck should be shot on sight! ...Or skinned. Yeah! Skin him alive! ...No, no, even better, burn him to fiery ash! ...And then arrest him.
  • The exposition dialogue explaining how Darkwing ended up in a wheelchair:
    Darkwing: If it weren't for that stupid ski accident, I wouldn't be sitting in this thing.
    Launchpad: Well, I told you things got rough at those ski shop sales. You're lucky only your legs were broken.
  • In the Just Us Justice Ducks two-parter, Negaduck is posing as Darkwing Duck to steal a bazooka from SHUSH, but Darkwing soon enters the room. Unable to figure out who's who. Sarah Bellum's solution? "Oh well, we'll just have to kill them both."
  • "Dances With Bigfoot": Darkwing has been kidnapped by a primitive tribe to be fed to their volcano god. Gosalyn uses a comic book to translate the tribe's language and says they'll release him if he passes their tests — a fight with their champion and a dance contest. After Gosalyn helps him win both, the tribe chief says something to them.
    Darkwing: What does that mean?
    Gosalyn: It means, "You have passed the tests, therefore, you're free to go."
    (fade to them tied up and standing at spear point on the volcano's edge)
    Honker: Or, "You have passed the tests, therefore, you are worthy of being thrown into the volcano."
    Darkwing: Remind me to thank you properly for helping daddy pass those tests, dear.
  • In "Night of the Living Spud", Darkwing demonstrates the "proper" way to get a semi to stop and give you a lift: stepping boldly out into the road, extending your arm and declaring "HALT!" The truck promptly runs him down and grinds to a stop.
    "See...? Works every time..."
  • "Just Us Justice Ducks" has the best Humiliation Conga ever. As well as...
    Darkwing: (posing as a delivery man) Flowers for Negaduck!
    Negaduck: I hate flowers.
    Darkwing: Er, did I say flowers? I meant skulls. Skulls for Negaduck!
    Negaduck: (salivates) I'll be right there.
    • The punchline to that scene:
      Darkwing: Oh, did I say skulls? I meant ANVILS! (WHACK!)
    • "Aww, I dented my anvil!"
    • Now available on Youtube.
    • "Now it's time to say good-bye to all our company!" Negaduck quoting the Mickey Mouse Club. Sheer cool.
  • Earlier in the same episode (pictured above):
    Stegmutt: Oh, Darkwing, are you busy?
    Darkwing: Busy? No, no, I'm just with the most dangerous villains, Bushroot and Liquidator, and we're playing let's pretend!
    Liquidator: Yeah! Let's pretend! Let's pretend he's on fire!
    Bushroot: Yeah! Put out the Darkwing! Put out the Darkwing!
    Darkwing: Nice try, Greensleeves, but it won't work-
    Stegmutt: (Grabs Darkwing and starts smacking him against the ground)Put out the Darkwing! Put out the Darkwing!
    Liquidator: 4 out of 5 dentists say that it's time for us to get out of here!
    • Then, Bushroot's giant plant falls on him.
      Darkwing: This is the second most-painful moment of my life.
      Stegmutt: What was the first most-painful?
      Darkwing: "Put out the Darkwing, put out the Darkwing!"
      • Even funnier is Darkwing's expression when he says the above line after Stegmutt pulls him out from under the beanstalk.
    • And a short time later, after Darkwing unthinkingly offends Neptunia, she hurls him halfway across the city to end up buried upside down to his waist in solid asphalt:
      Darkwing: This is the third most-painful moment of my life.
    • In the final battle:
    Stegmutt: (has Bushroot by the neck) I've never fought a super villain before. What do I do?
    Darkwing: It's easy, Stegmutt! Let's pretend Mr. Bushroot is on fire!
    Bushroot: Uh-oh!
    Stegmutt: Yay! Put out the Bushroot! Put out the Bushroot!
  • In "Twin Beaks" Bushroot rallies his troops against the alien cabbage invasion. (He may be a mutant vegetable duck, but he's an Earth mutant vegetable duck.)
    Bushroot: No one's going to call us a bunch of pansies!
    [A bunch of his sentient pansies start complaining.]
    Bushroot: Sorry, guys.
  • "Malice's Restaurant":
    Morgana: If you're not ashamed of me, then why don't you take me anywhere! Why have I never met any of your friends!
    Darkwing: With my busy crime-busting schedule, I don't have time to make friends!
    Launchpad: Gee DW, what about Herb and Binkie?
    Darkwing: You exist to torment me, don'tcha?
  • "The Secret Origins of Darkwing Duck."
    Venerable One: (thwack) Freeloader.

    Darkwing: ...She's...gone...
    Launchpad: Ya sure?
    Darkwing: Mmmm, yeah.

    Avenger: (in those "from beyond the grave" type thought bubbles) (gasp) Atta boy...Darkwing...ugh I'm dead.
  • Shhhhh, it's a flyyyyy...
  • From "Jail Bird": Negaduck has absorbed all the powers of the Fearsome Five.
    Quackerjack: I'm ruined! Ruined! Ruined!!!
    Mega Negaduck: What are you whining about? You never had any powers to begin with!
    Quackerjack: YOU STOLE MY WACKINESS!
    Mega Negaduck: I did not- HOO-HOO HOO HOO! Okay, so I did!
  • "I claim this India in the name of Spain!"
    • "That's one small step for man, one... (Notices Megavolt crushed under the landing craft) ...really bad day for that guy!"
  • When Drake attempts to get some sleep in the afternoon episode, Gosalyn prepares to drive a golf ball off of his bill whilst he rests. He then reveals he is still awake and utters this legendary line: "Have I ever told you the story of the little girl, the golf club and the firing squad?"
  • In "Dry Hard", after the Liquidator turns all of St. Canard's tap water into hard water, Darkwing and Launchpad end up landing in the still-normal bay, prompting Darkwing to taunt with this: "We can drink the baa-ay! Nya, nya!"
    • Also, throughout the episode, Bud Flood was followed around by crooning women singing ad jingles whilst wearing whatever costume fit for the situation. They even followed him around when he turned into the Liquidator and, as he trapped Darkwing in boiling water, they strutted around singing in lobster costumes.
  • Derek Blunt has just drawn a circle around the island of Phineas Sharp. D.W. is so shocked he can only say "You drew on my map" in a voice so deadpan and disbelieving.
  • The result of Quackerjack and Darkwing teaming up at the end of The Haunting of Mr. Banana Brain. It needs to be seen to be believed.
    • Launchpad's increasingly desperate attempts to get out of hearing the story. At one point, he derails the entire cartoon by trying to narrate a picnic instead. At the scariest point he actually has a heart attack - and after the commercial break they just keep telling the story anyway.
  • "At last, I shall have my revenge on those who tormented me! Those who MADE ME WHO I AM! Wait, wha... What am I, anyway? A dentist? No... A lumberjack? No... King of the Jungle?"
    • "I may have been defeated, but I know Darkwing's secret identity! He's... Elmo Sputterspark! No, wait, that's not right. Ham String? No, that's the big guy..."
    • Darkwing Duck gets his former classmates to apologize for mistreating him.
    Ham String: I'm sorry for acting like a chowder head.
    Darkwing Duck: Aw, Ham, you weren't acting.
  • All of Galvanized PosiDuck's lines. Don't forget to floss!
    • Hey now, Negaduck I, while a bit terrifying galvanized, was pretty funny when he was normal.
      Gosalyn: It's the Muddlefoots!
      Negaduck I: Oh great. Let me get my shotgun...
    • He was still funny even when galvanized. "NEVER EAT AT A PLACE CALLED MOM'S!"
  • Megavolt and Darkwing's interactions in The Frequency Fiends are hilarious, especially this gem:
    Megavolt: We need negative polarity!
    Darkwing: A-da-da-da-da-da! This is some kind of trick! Even I know negative is bad! Positive is good!
    Megavolt: Negative.
    Darkwing: Positive.
    Megavolt: Negative!
    Darkwing: Positive!
    Megavolt: NEGATIVE! Negative, negative, negative!
    Darkwing: Positive, positive positive pos pos pos pos pos-
    Gosalyn: Hold it! Don't you think you're being a little bit immature?!
    Darkwing: You're right... (Grabs a chair and rope, and ties up Megavolt) Positive.
  • Pretty much all of "My Valentine Ghoul". It has got to be one of the funniest episodes. It's already hilarious to see Negaduck pretend to be reformed and keep spoiling Darkwing and Morgana's date like a bratty brother trying to get D.W. in trouble, but it gets HYSTERICAL once D.W. is affected by a love potion Gosalyn makes and believes Negaduck is his best friend.
    Darkwing: Aaaw, what's the matter, Negsy, old pal? Is there anything else I can do for you!?
    Negaduck: Yeah! Go jump off a cliff!
    Darkwing: Yo. Anything for you, Negmeister!
    (Darkwing runs out of the house to a large cliff and jumps off screaming 'GERONIMOOOO!')
    Negaduck: And to think; all this time, all I had to do was ask.
    • And it all gets even funnier near the end when Morgana uses the love potion on Negaduck to make him fall for her and gives him a jawbreaker... literally. She punches him so hard in the beak he flies into his own pile of stolen diamonds, is covered in chocolate and packed in his own box of valentine sweets. Truly a Moment of Awesome for Morgana.
  • When Taurus Bulba, now a super-cyborg, grabs Darkwing with some nasty intentions, the hero kisses him, causing the villain to let him go and frantically rub his lips in disgust. May also double as Awesome.
  • Tuskernini's trial at the beginning of "Adopt-a-Con" is just golden.
    Darkwing Duck: I caught that hateful, underhanded ham, Tuskernini, robbing a bank.
    Tuskernini: Objection, your honor! I am not a ham!
    Judge: Darkwing Duck, do you have any evidence?
    Judge: I mean the bank robbery!
  • The ending to the video game, while short and pointless, gives us a perfect DW moment. He's riding down the street on the Ratcatcher, with dramatic, Mega Man X ish music playing in the background. Then he hits a rock, which stops the Ratcatcher dead, and launches DW into the air. The game pauses as he's silhouetted against the moon, and the theme plays.
  • In "Dead Duck", when Launchpad tearfully says that he can "almost hear" Darkwing, Darkwing's ghost, in a moment obviously borrowed from Daffy Duck, jumps up and down and screams, "Almost? If I yell any louder, I'll rupture something!"
  • "Slaves to Fashion" has a lot of funny moments. For example, the hypno-gas makes Launchpad fly an imaginary plane due to wearing his pilot regalia at the costume party while Gosalyn and Honker start conversing as if they are upper class snobs. Near the end of the episode, Darkwing and Tuskernini end up in costumes and adopting different personae, resulting in the two dressing like a bride and groom and almost getting married until Gosalyn pulls her father away.
  • Megavolt acting like the negatron Negaduck is his son in "Negaduck".
  • "Toys Czar Us" has Drake multitasking, reading a book on how to be the "perfect parent" while doing the laundry and making dinner. The result? While he's on the phone with Launchpad, an ocean of suds starts rolling onscreen from one direction and a plume of black smoke from the other.
    Gosalyn: Oh, dad...
    Drake: Not now, Daddy's talking on Mr. Phone!
    Gosalyn: But, dad...!

From the new comic:

Launchpad: D.W., Liquidator’s used the cold snap to make beings of pure ice!
Darkwing: Not a problem.
Launchpad: Bullets can't stop 'em! The ice just grows back.
Darkwing: Only a small matter.
Darkwing: Barely worth noting.
  • And later...
    Launchpad: D.W., Quackerjack has turned every G.I. Melvin toy into his personal army!
    Darkwing: A blip on the radar.
    Launchpad: Yeah, I guess it's not our biggest problem. Now your left arm's been turned into ME!
    Darkwing: This, I'm willing to admit, is an inconvenience.
  • Yet another adventure D.W. reminisces about has him and Launchpad go forward in time to an era where everyone looks like Launchpad.
  • In issue 3 when Darkwing Duck decides to come out of retirement fully.
    Launchpad: (Phew) I'm glad ya think so! There uh, aren't really a lot of positions open for sidekicks/pilots. (The other day...) (Whilst holding the Rescue Rangers' plane in his palm) I can pilot this!
    Gadget: No. No, you cannot.
  • Guard dogs!
  • "Aw, he wants a game of hide-and-seek! Well, two can play at that... um... game. Of hide-and-seek. Because that's how it's played."
  • The first collection includes this nugget of gold in a letter from series creator Tad Stones, on the creation of Darkwing Duck:
    • In the shadows of his hidden lair, Drake Mallard ponders his role in bringing justice to the city of St. Canard, "Criminals are a superstitious, cowardly lot, so my disguise must be able to strike terror into their hearts! I must be a creature of the night..." As if in answer, a duck flies in the open window. Mallard vaults to his feet. "It's an omen! I shall become a DUCK!" He pauses a moment and ponders further, "Wait, I AM a duck. How is this going to work?"
  • F.O.W.L's gadgets in issue 10. ESCPECIALLY the dartgun-watch!
  • Also from issue 10:
    Steelbeak That's right. There are the eggmen...
    Steelbeak And there is the Walrus!
  • When Cat-Tankerous is defeated in issue 14, he says "I can haz destruction?" Unfortunately, this one was omitted in the Joe Books omnibus.