Field Trips drive Mr. DeMartino to drink.
Jake (steps in the tent and comes face-to-face with Mr. DeMartino): Oh, hi. It's, uh, raining cats and dogs out there.
DeMartino: What a unique perspective on the situation
Jake: Little nip to warm you up?
Mr. Morgendorffer, I am a teacher
responsible for dozens of students
on a fairly hazardous field trip
. Do YOU
think I should take a little nip
Jake: I guess not.
DeMartino: NO! I GUESS NOT! GIMME THAT! (snatches the flask from a shocked Jake and starts chugging like there's no tomorrow)
Jake: Say, did you by any chance go to military school?
DeMartino: HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT!?
- Several hours later, Jake and DeMartino are drunk and trading stories about their messed-up childhoods.
Jake: (pouring the last of the whiskey into the flask cap, tearfully): I didn't mean to step on Dad's contact. The next day, he shipped me off to military school.
DeMartino: My mother didn't want her DATES to know she had a son. So, I spent a lot of time at the NEIGHBORS. Strange, twisted people.
Jake: I know! I had the same neighbors.