Fan Fic / I Am NOT Going Through Puberty Again!

I Am NOT Going Through Puberty Again! is a Naruto Peggy Sue epilogue-compliant Crack Fic by EvilFuzzy9.

The summary on FanFiction.net sums up the entirety of the story pretty nicely: Our heroes did not come from a future where everything has gone horribly wrong. They did not travel back in time to save the world from a bleak or miserable fate. As a matter of fact, all they want to do is find a way back home as soon as possible. [cracky, epilogue-compliant time travel fic]

Unlike the vast majority (read: almost all) of Peggy sue fan-fiction, this work does not attempt to make any sort of unnecessary dramatization in the plot - it, in its essence, is a Crack Fic with a loose plot framework. In it, the title character of Naruto is accompanied by three other ninja from the future - Team 7, and (unusually enough, for a peggy sue) a slightly mentally unbalanced Hinata Hyuuga, and Kurama. Unlike other pieces of fanfiction the five are not exactly happy about coming back to the past, having left a perfectly good and not-in-imminent-danger-of-destruction world behind, essentially undoing their case of Earn Your Happy Ending.

It was concluded on December 20, 2015 after 39 chapters and an epilogue. It exceeded 233,000 words as the finished product.

Note: Spoilers for the ending of Naruto. As this fic assumes you are familiar with the epilogue of the manga, along with The Last: Naruto the Movie and Boruto: Naruto the Movie, all potential spoilers are unmarked.


Tropes:

  • Adult Fear: The reason Sasuke and Sakura only have one kid. Sasuke is terrified of potentially recreating the circumstances of his own traumatic childhood.
  • All Girls Want Bad Boys: In Chapter 29, 12-year old Sasuke muses a Wall of Text on how he not only finds this stupid but insulting.
    Sasuke didn't see himself as a charming person. He had no idea what all those girls saw in him, to be frank. He was bitter, asocial, wrapped in darkness and scarred by grief. The phrase "damaged goods" surely existed solely to describe people like himself.
    He was not the kind of person that he thought a smart or self-respecting girl should pursue. Couldn't they see how messed up he was? How dangerous a path he would have to walk?
    It galled Sasuke that so many girls should be so smitten with him. It felt insulting, somehow, like their infatuation devalued the tragedy of his clan's destruction, romanticizing his pain and frustration into an unrecognizable caricature of the person he really was.
    Their smiling, giggling, blushing, and cooing all angered him. Like they saw it all as one big game, like they didn't take anything seriously. They didn't get it. They refused to understand.
  • All Men Are Perverts: Subverted. While Naruto and Sasuke are perverted in their own rights (as much as Sasuke would like to deny it), Sakura outdoes them both in that regard, ironically enough. She is an avid reader of the Icha Icha series (which both Naruto and Konohamaru have ghostwritten since Jiraiya's death), shamelessly checks out other men in front of her husband and draws naughty doodles on the back of her exam sheet to kill time after completing it. Hinata is also shockingly bold when it comes to Naruto, outright teasing him in public.
  • Almighty Janitor: Technically. While this is a result of a Peggy Sue, that doesn't change the fact that the four strongest ninja in the village are currently genin. Naruto and Sasuke are especially egregious cases, as they are by far the two strongest ninja alive, period and they never made it to chunin in the main timeline (exactly how this is possible since Naruto became the Hokage isn't made clear).
  • Ambiguously Bi: Everyone has shades of this.
    • Sakura claims she's straight, but the fact that she gushes a lot about other attractive women raises a few eyebrows.
    • Naruto and Sasuke have no compuctions checking out Haku's ass even though they know full well that despite his feminine appearance, he's a man.
    • Obito's inner monologue after awakening the Rinnegan mentions that he once fantasized about Kakashi.
    • Sakura conditions Ino to be the same, starting with naughty drawing on the back of her exam sheet and culminating in a very erotic genjutsu during the finals of the exam. By the time she's done, Ino is addressing her as "mistress" and the epilogue mentions that the collaborative pornographic manga that she and boyfriend Sai make has female protagonists that resembles Sakura.
  • Appeal to Tradition: Played for Laughs. After watching Hinata's epic match with Sakura during the finals, shattering his entire worldview, Hiashi is firmly under the opinion that his entire clan's system is "bullshit", leading to this hilarious exchange.
    Hanabi: What is bullshit, father?
    Hiashi: Tradition. (a response Hiashi would regret for many years)
  • As You Know: Played with. Naruto asks Guy how Lee's training weights work just so everyone else can hear. Naruto already knows, but Guy doesn't know that Naruto knows.
  • Author Appeal: The author is a shameless pervert. Coincidentally, three of the four main characters are also shameless perverts (two of whom happen to be writing the Icha Icha series under an umbrella pseudonym, while the third is a huge fan); the fourth and everyone else have, at the very least, perverted tendencies. While there's nothing especially explicit, there's more than enough for the story to be rated "M" on FanFiction.Net.
  • Awesomeness by Analysis: The Third Hokage knows of the time travellers, and that Naruto was Hokage in the future (even if he got the number wrong). He deduced it by observing how they acted and the extent of their abilities.
  • Battle Butler: Orochimaru's butler, named Jeeves, is fully capable of sneaking up on and getting rid of Obito.
    Obito: Note to self. Watch the HELL out for butlers in the future.
  • Because Destiny Says So:
    • Sort of. Upon finding that she's married to Sasuke in the future, 12-year old Sakura uses this as to make 12-year old Sasuke to stop rejecting her advances, since they're DESTINED to be together.
    • Naruto has similar thoughts as well. Upon finding that Sakura is married to Sasuke, and he's married to Hinata, he concludes that he should stop pursuing Sakura and get to know Hinata better (which also made him realize that his crush on Sakura might not be that strong if he can give up on it so easily).
  • Bedmate Reveal:
    • In chapter 17, Shizune woke up in bed with Iruka. This led to a very awkward breakfast (full of Accidental Innuendo) for both of them.
    • Also happens to the 12 year old version of Team 7 and Hinata when they wake up in their adult bodies, in bed with their respective spouses. Naruto and Sasuke completely freak out, Sakura thinks a pedophile is trying to rape her, and Hinata concludes she MUST be dreaming.
  • Beware the Nice Ones: Many feel that Hinata "snapping" was a result of all the pressure put on her, despite her usually kind demeanor. As Ko points out in his head, everyone thought Itachi was a nice kid too, and look at how he turned out. Granted, Itachi actually is still a genuinely nice person when not undercover, but it's not like anyone else other than the four time travelers, Obito, the Sandaime Hokage, and the Konoha Elders know that — at least until he is pardoned and returns to Konoha right before the chunin exam finals.
  • Big Sister Worship: Bearing witness to "The Hinata Massacre" has caused Hanabi to become outright starry-eyed when seeing her sister, with the slightest hint of shame for ever doubting her power.
  • Blatant Lies: When inquired by Kakashi on how he lost his arm, Sasuke bluntly states that he fell down some stairs.
  • Blessed with Suck: Obito ends up developing a Rinnegan following Konan and Nagato's betrayal (meaning that Kakashi gets one as well due to them sharing eyes). This means that Obito sees everything that Kakashi sees, mainly him reading porn and having sex with Anko.
  • Book Dumb: Even after becoming Hokage, Naruto is still this. When he looks at his Chunin Exam test sheet, he's pleased to observe that he's unable to understand only half the problems this time.
  • Butt-Monkey: Neji. As noted by the author at the end of Chapter 15. First, he is frequently scared out of his wits by the very much amused Hinata. Then, he has a hostile Tenten on his hands after a misunderstanding in which she believed that his warnings and well-wishes before her prelim match with Hinata were him boasting about the superiority of the Hyuuga Clan and its Jyuuken, only made worse after Hinata won their match. Then, he loses his prelim match against his eternal rival/teammate Rock Lee in a very humiliating Curb-Stomp Battle because he can't keep up with Lee's superior speed or strength.
  • But for Me, It Was Tuesday: Apparently, for Konoha ninja it's almost normal that a shy and drunk kunoichi in the hot springs may react explosively to an insufficiently stealthy peeping tom (as long as they are not, respectively, Tsunade and Jiraiya).
  • Butterfly of Doom:
    • The first major deviation occurs the second portion of the Chunin Exam, where, thanks to Sasuke ripping off his arm at the beginning of the fic, Orochimaru goes after Hinata as his next vessel.
    • Averted in regard to their seating arrangements in the first portion where, contrary to what Sakura expected, they are given the same spots as the first time.
    • Played straight with the Prelims, where the matches are randomized and one extra team (Karin's team) managed to pass the second phase of the exam.
  • Buxom Is Better:
    • While Naruto loves Hinata no matter how she looks, he really misses her very large boobs.
    • Sakura also misses having boobs.
  • Cassandra Truth:
    • Ino is easily able to tell that Naruto and Hinata, and Sasuke and Sakura are together. Neither of her teammates believe her (in part due to being oblivious preteen boys who have barely hit puberty).
    • During the Finals, nobody believes Kakashi when he tells them that his students were already this monstrously strong before he started training them.
  • Cerebus Syndrome: For all the author's claims about the fic being nothing but crack and laughs, the story gets progressively more serious as it goes on, with more and more dramatic or tense moments devoid of any humor. Still, the parodic and comedic tones are always present to some degree, becoming a Cerebus Rollercoaster later on.
  • Chekhov's Gunman: Kurama remains out of focus much of the fic despite also traveling back in time. Until the end, where it's realized that the Bijuu's ability to commune transcends space and time, allowing the travellers a way back home.
  • Crack Fic
    • Crack Pairing: Just to name a few: Mei and Haku, Itachi and Karenbana, Kin and Tayuya, Shino and Hana. Although the last one didn't turn out so well.
  • Creepy Children Singing: Neji cowers terrified in a broom closet while listening to Hinata hum what appears to be a tuneless and heavily truncated version of Naruto Shippuden's second opening in Chapter 8.
  • Crossdresser: Haku wore the dress during his and Mei's wedding. And during their "alone" time. This is ostensibly because Mei believes Haku wears feminine clothing better than she does (and make no mistake, Mei is not manly or bad looking in the least).
  • Curb-Stomp Battle
    • Any fight against any member of Team 7 or Hinata, due to retaining their skills and abilities despite being in barely adolescent bodies.
    • The battles between the Kage and the Akatsuki (in favor of the former). Special mention must go to Onoki and Hidan's "fight", which amounts to the latter pulling a Leeroy Jenkins and getting vaporized for his troubles.
  • Curb Stomp Cushion: Surprisingly, the Sasuke vs Karin fight in the Chunin Exam Finals was this for the latter. Sasuke was confident enough that he could beat her without not even needing to use the Sharingan; by only using the abilities she had in canon, Karin put up such an impressive fight that she forced Sasuke to use the Rinnegan to defeat her.
  • Cure for Cancer: Parodied in the epilogue. Orochimaru discovered one, except it only worked on sharks and mutated them into "flying, amphibious hellbeasts" as a side effect. He was promptly barred from practicing medicine.
  • Cute and Psycho: Himawari.
  • Death by Adaptation: Unlike the main series where he was merely decapitated and buried (but still alive), Hidan was flat out vaporized by the third Tsuchikage.
  • Death Glare:
    • This was all that it took for Hashirama to defeat Kakuzu. Not any flashy jutsu, not even a Badass Boast. Merely staring at him made Kakuzu to wet his pants and run away on the verge of crying.
    • Hinata mentions that her years of motherhood, she had perfected the art of intimidating or make somebody feel guilty by just staring at them.
  • Deconstruction Fic: Of the Peggy Sue variety.
    • First, none of the time travelers knew time travel was even possible. Naruto had sealed away all scrolls pertaining to jutsu involving time travel, as they were experimental at best and thus potentially dangerous.
    • Secondly, none of them wanted to go back in time. Another reason why those scrolls were sealed away is because the world was as close to peace as it was ever going to be. If any of those experimental jutsu had succeeded, the user could potentially undo all the progress made towards what was as close to an ideal future as the ninja world could get.
    • Finally, the time travelers don't bother keeping all the details, because they don't remember them. The events of Part I, to them, happened decades ago. There's no way they'd be able to keep track of all the details and maintain a path towards an idealized future, so they don't even bother. Hence, they instead screw around with everything in order to enjoy themselves and let the chips fall where they may.
  • Did You Die?: At one point the protagonists discuss trying to follow the original timeline and conclude that they don't remember everything clearly enough (it was twenty years ago from their point of view, after all) to get it perfectly right anyway. Naruto isn't sure if Sasuke was even with them during the Wave mission, and then decides that Sasuke was in fact killed that time. Sasuke points out that he would have remembered getting killed, but Naruto insists it happened. He admits that Haku might only have nearly killed Sasuke, which the latter argues is a whole different thing.
  • Disproportionate Retribution: Tobi/Obito violently dismembers the delivery ninja who delivers his invitation to the Uchiha family reunion after merely mentioning his real name. He then immolates the remains and empties his bladder on the ashes for good measure.
  • Distracted by My Own Sexy: Upon waking up in an adult body, 12-year old Hinata spends quite some time gaping and feeling her new, huge breasts (which she describes as having watermelons protruding from her chest). Though unlike other examples this is less narcissism and more shock at suddenly having an adult body.
  • Distracted by the Sexy: During the finals, it's mentioned that the Kusa representative was completely unremarkable except for her rather large... "eyes". Thus, Sarutobi and Rasa, both perverted men who have been widowers for over a decade, couldn't care less about anything she has to say and are focused more on her "eyes", and being unsubtle about it too, much to her annoyance.
  • Double Entendre: Whether they're intentional or not, Sakura has made a habit of mercilessly lampshading any possible instance of this for her own personal amusement.
  • Dramatic Irony: Karin mentions in an internal monologue that someone just saving her life wouldn't be enough to make her have a crush for any longer than a few months. Kakashi also claims that he would never favor any of his students (which actually causes a Sneeze Cut to his main timeline counterpart).
  • The Dreaded:
    • Hinata, to the Hyuuga Clan (barring Hanabi). When she first woke up in the past, Hinata immediately noticed that she wasn't in her house, and that her husband wasn't in bed with her. She immediately rampaged her way through the Hyuuga Clan compound to Naruto's location, putting a tenth of a very large clan in the hospital in the process. The event is now dubbed "The Hinata Massacre", and every member of the clan now walks on eggshells around her. The epilogue mentions that Hiashi did nothing of note other than actively avoiding trying to do anything that would anger his daughter.
    • Tsunade, to Temari, after seeing how she reacted to a peeping tom and trying to imagine what she would do to someone trying a more serious crime like invading Konoha.
    • Even while dead, The Fourth Hokage to Iwa. Seeing a letter from his son warning them off working with those who want to hunt him down causes a Mass "Oh, Crap!".
    • Itachi. One character's internal monologue refers to him as "the boogieman's boogieman."
  • Ear Worm: Exploited by Naruto In-Universe after his talk with Gaara to prevent Shukaku from brainwashing him back. The song he telepathically hums is Haruka Kanata, another opening from the anime. Even Gaara finds it catchy when Shukaku hums it in turn.
  • Easy Evangelism: Naruto pulled it on Gato this time, which outright confounds the people of Wave.
  • Easily Forgiven: Justified. When Itachi officially returns to Konoha after documents covering the Uchiha Clan's attempted coup are released to the public, his punishment for "subverting the chain of command" is to be kicked out of ANBU and demoted to chunin. It's a slap on the wrist and everyone knows it, but they all go along with it since it gets the village leadership out of admitting that they ordered a thirteen year old to slaughter his entire clan. It doesn't even stick, anyway — the epilogue mentions that Itachi was named Godaime Hokage not long after the protagonists switched back to their bodies in Timeline Gamma.
  • Entertainingly Wrong:
    • The Hyuuga Clan believes that Hinata went on her rampage due to finally snapping under the stress of all the expectations she had to live up to as heiress of the clan. Thus, everyone who had put Hinata down and/or had been hostile her in the past (particularly Hiashi and Neji) are downright terrified of being subjected to her wrath, especially since the event marked a remarkable increase in Hinata's skill. In reality, Hinata had woken up in the past, noticed that her husband wasn't in bed with her, and, being horny and having pined after Naruto for years before he finally noticed her feelings, made her way to his location without ever realizing where she was.
    • Kakashi theorizes that his team's closeness is a result of whatever event resulted in Sasuke losing his left arm. In a way it is, because what led to the loss of his arm in this timeline was their time travel, but Kakashi isn't thinking of that event nor is he even aware of it.
    • Kin thinks that Naruto's barrier move is a weaker version of the one that the Sound Four perform. In reality it's the exact opposite but Tayuya didn't say anything to avoid embarrassing herself in front of her date.
  • Evasive Fight-Thread Episode: Naruto and Sasuke decided to go all out for the final match of the Chunin exams (with their wives faking a double knock-out to esure that they were at full power and Naruto setting up a barrier to avoid flattening the entire village). Naruto won by virtue of Sasuke forfeiting after a few minutes.
  • Even the Guys Want Him: Sasuke adamantly denies that Haku has this effect on him. Sakura, Naruto and Hinata tease him relentlessly about it in Chapter 6. There was also mention of a couple of guys swooning over Naruto and Sasuke following their match in the Chunin exam finals.
  • Eye Scream: Apparently, Sasuke once traumatized a holy man and a bunch of children by trying to rip out his own eyes after taking the "if your eyes sin, cut them out" part of scripture literally. He does it later to give them to Itachi, although Sakura grows his own eyes back not long afterwards.
  • Failed a Spot Check: Tsunade took three whole chapters to realize she was back in Konoha. To be fair, she came in town drunk, and was nursing an hangover during those chapters.
  • Family Theme Naming/Musical Theme Naming: The "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue mentions that Timeline Beta Rock Lee named his son Metal, who would then have a son named Blues.
  • Flat "What.":
    • The approximate reaction of the citizens of Wave upon coming to the scene of the Bridge Battle in Chapter 6. note 
    • Sasuke's reaction to Sakura telling him that they had inadvertently time traveled.
    • Ko Hyuuga's reaction to finding Hinata coming out of Naruto's apartment with her bedclothes in disarray.
    • Kankuro and Temari's reaction to the idea of Naruto and Kurama holding down Gaara and Shukaku and giving them a friendship speech.
    • Yugao's reaction to finding out Tsunade is back in Konoha.
  • For Science!: After his Curb Stomp at the hands of Hinata, Orochimaru decides to retire from being a ninja and dedicate himself to scientific research.
  • For Want of a Nail: Since Team 7 finished the second phase early, Sasuke didn't save Karin from the bear — Lee did. End result? Karin develops a crush on Lee instead and her team makes it to the preliminaries. Thus, since an extra team passed and the preliminary matches are randomized (unlike the seating for the first exam), people who made it to the third phase last time don't (such as Kankuro and Neji), and people who didn't make it the first time around do (Sakura, Hinata, Ino, and Lee). Karin herself ends up in the finals alongside one of her teammates.
  • Geeky Turn-On: Sarada finds Boruto's Techno Babble incredibly hot.
  • Handicapped Badass: Sasuke. Though, to be honest, he's lived so long without one arm that having it back probably would have handicapped him more than he already is. And he can freely grow a new arm whenever he wants.
  • Huge Guy, Tiny Girl: Itachi (5'7'') ends up with Karenbana (who's short enough to be mistaken for a child).
  • I Have No Son: Well, more like "I Have No Godson". Jiraiya jokingly(?) disowned Naruto after he started his fight against Temari with Reverse Harem Jutsu: Shikamaru Style!
  • In Spite of a Nail: Choji still ends up with Karui and Kiba still ends up with Tamaki despite Naruto and Sakura not setting any of them up. In fact, the couples hook up several years earlier. And the seating arrangements for the first phase of the Chunin Exams were exactly the same.
  • It's a Long Story: Sasuke's explanation to Itachi as to how he has an eternal Mangekyou Sharingan. Crosses over into Leaning on the Fourth Wall:
    It's a long story. Very, very long. Enough to fill seven hundred chapters of a weekly shounen manga, over four hundred episodes of a half-hour anime, several feature length movies, and a dozen or so OVAs of varying quality.
  • Law of Disproportionate Response:
    • Naruto's response to unexpected time travel? Pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration and worry about his kids. His response to his now 12 year old body being impotent? Releasing enough killing intent towards his crotch to cause everyone occupying the floors below his apartment to feel a sudden loosening in their bowels as well as giving a particularly elderly tenant a heart attack.
    • Sasuke's response to having a left arm again is to rip it clean off at the elbow.
  • Lighter and Softer: There's far more emphasis on humor than your average Peggy Sue fic. In fact, there's an author's note at the end of the first chapter noting that while other fics with a similar premise have drama, angst, and overpowered main characters plowing through their enemies, this fic has laughs, snark...and overpowered main characters plowing through their enemies.
  • Like an Old Married Couple: Sasuke and Sakura's interactions, as Kakashi notes. Unbeknownst to him, they are a married couple, just not an "old" one.
  • The Loins Sleep Tonight: Both Sasuke and Naruto suffer this due to their twelve year old bodies not having gone through puberty yet. Sakura's and Hinata's reactions range from mild annoyance to amusement.
  • The Matchmaker: Naruto and Sakura took a hobby of hooking up their friends, being responsible for Choji/Karui and Kiba/Tamaki. It's mentioned that they don't have a very good success rate (one happy couple for every twelve disasters), Shino/Hana being one such failure that resulted in millions of ryo in property damage on the first date.
  • May–December Romance: Mei (28) and Haku (16). They're getting married in June.
  • Meanwhile, in the Future...: After chapter 26, the story starts jumping between timeline beta (the past) and timeline gamma (the present).
  • Meet the In-Laws: It's mentioned in passing that it was a lot less awkward and confusing the second time that Sakura introduced her teammate-turned-enemy-turned-teammate-turned-boyfriend-turned-husband-turned-teammate-turned-boyfriend Sasuke to her parents.
  • Mood Whiplash: Abused in Chapter 14. They go from the silly end of Chapter 13, to a rather serious conversation by Naruto to Gaara, to... keeping Shukaku from letting the speech sink in by way of getting a song stuck in Shukaku's head.
  • Ms. Fanservice: Naruto's Sexy Jutsu, as in canon. It knocks out Jiraiya the first time he sees it, and is accompanied by five paragraphs of description. Weaponized, in fact, during the bell test, where he brings all of the female characters from Icha Icha to life with some help from shadow clones and sets them on Kakashi.
  • My Friends... and Zoidberg: Sasuke will occasionally get this from everyone and the narration since his defecting from Konoha and taking over the world is a Never Live It Down moment.
  • Nausea Fuel: Applied In-Universe when Hinata nearly loses the contents of her stomach upon imagining Orochimaru having sex.
  • Nice to the Waiter: Strangely, the delivery ninja sent to deliver the invitations to Uzumaki and Uchiha Clan reunions were all brutally eviscerated/eaten/tortured/beaten unconscious, except for those sent to Kakashi...and Itachi. Itachi even tipped the guy.
  • No Kill Like Overkill: Naruto defeats Haido by powering up to Super Mode, then drawing all of Gelel into his Rasengan, creating a Cosmic Rasenshuriken that takes the hapless Big Bad Wannabe into orbit. Naruto only hopes it won't hit the moon, since that would be really hard to explain.
  • No Periods, Period: Averted; when Tsunade and Shizune are first introduced, the latter is miserable from it being her time of the month, and they only had enough money for either food or medication.
  • Not So Stoic: Itachi is left amiss at Sasuke's explanation about the future and how much his little brother outclasses him.
  • Noodle Implements: The Kite Wars ended after Obito was defeated by a cooking pot and a wooden spoon.
  • Noodle Incident: A few:
    • There's one mentioned involving Tora the cat, a Kumo delegation, Yugito Nii and feline chakra in Chapter 7.
      Sakura: It was a D-rank mission, Naruto. How you managed to get the details of the report classified as an S-ranked secret is beyond me.
    • There's another one alluded to have happened pre-time travel, involving Naruto's and Sasuke's second run at the Chunin Exams at some point after the Fourth Shinobi World War.
    • Sasuke gets incredibly flustered when Hinata brings up a certain anniversary dinner.
    • When talking about Naruto being a slob as a kid, Sasuke and Sakura mention such events as the Boxer Short Rebellion, the Moldy Toast Assassination Plot, the Stocking Strike, and a mutant cockroach insurgence. Given the screams coming from the moving sock that Naruto had just impaled with a kunai, it's likely they actually happened.
    • The Kite Wars, a series of conflicts instigated by Obito in Timeline Beta that is mentioned in the epilogue.
  • Not Enough to Bury:
    • The fate of anyone Naruto caught trying to assassinate Hinata pre-time travel.
    • Naruto mentions that Sakura's students probably learned a lot about high velocity impacts from studying the remains of an assassin who attempted to poison Sasuke in his sleep.
    • The Third Tsuchikage does this to Hidan.
  • Not in the Face!: Invoked by Orochimaru during his fight with Hinata in Chapter 11
    Orochimaru: OH GOD NOT THE FACE.
  • Official Couple: As the fic is established to be epilogue-compliant, Naruto is with Hinata and Sasuke is with Sakura.
  • Oh, Crap!:
    • Kakashi, during the bell test, when Sakura starts rearranging the landscape. He's more annoyed than scared by Sasuke's genjutsu and thrilled by Naruto's unconventional ninjutsu but Sakura's strength has him running.
    • Kankuro, after Naruto offhandedly mentions that Konohamaru is the Sandaime's grandson, while said grandson is up in the air and was about to be punched by Kankuro.
    • Neji, when Hinata finally catches up to him.
    • Kabuto, sometime between having Sakura snatch his ninja info cards out of his hands before he can react and her making Naruto's card show a picture Kabuto hadn't used in creating any of his cards.
    • Hinata, upon realizing that Orochimaru had come for her rather than Sasuke. It doesn't last, as their fight makes it very clear that in spite of the limits of her younger body, she is still capable of outmatching him.
    • Orochimaru, upon realizing just how strong Hinata is by via of having his arms neutralized by her Gentle Fist.
    • Karin, upon meeting the bear.
    • Jiraya, upon learning that Tsunade is on the other side of the female public bath he's peeping on.
    • Temari, upon witnessing Tsunade's rage at Jiraya peeping on her. And again upon realizing that if she was willing to murder a friend for peeping she would do unspeakable things to someone who tried to invade Konoha.
    • Yugao, upon realizing she's supposed to arrest Tsunade for the above, as she knows well she no ANBU has any chance against her (thankfully, Tsunade did not resist).
    • Kakuzu, when realizing the Third Tsuchikage may be about to fight him. Kakuzu considers Pain and the Third Hokage as Worthy Opponents, but is terrified of the Third Tsuchikage for his Dust Style and the fact he, as a lowly genin, survived Madara (the one man who could match the First Hokage, who had foiled Kakuzu's assassination attempt by looking him in the eyes). Now you can stop wondering why Kakuzu was so terrified, and start wondering on how he managed to hide it even when Onoki told him in no uncertain terms he was about to kill him.
    • Many, many spies after watching Naruto and Sasuke's god-level match during the finals. One Kumo spy's report is just a succinct message stating that they were "fucked".
  • Older and Wiser: The time travelers have matured remarkably over the years; which is why they had no intention of going back in time even if they knew it was possible. Naruto sealed away those scrolls for a reason.
  • One Dialogue, Two Conversations: After seeing his daughter come home worried, Hiashi decided to have an incredibly awkward heart-to-heart with Naruto. Hiashi thought they were talking about Naruto and Hinata's more unconventional romantic practices, while Naruto (more specifically the Naruto from the beginning of the series inside his adult body) thought they were talking about the fact that he woke up in bed naked next to Hinata.
  • Only Sane Man: Sasuke, especially when compared to his wife, Sakura. Which is ironic, considering that when the protagonists were actually this age, Sasuke was the most mentally unbalanced out of all of them, while Sakura was the most well-adjusted.
  • O.O.C. Is Serious Business: Kiba and Shino are seriously weirded out by Hinata's uncontrollable fit of laughter in Chapter 5.
  • Out of Focus: Kurama went back in time too, or at least is heavily suggested to have gone back in time. He is, however, rarely mentioned, as thus far nothing has come up that would require Naruto to really use his power.
  • Overly Long Tongue: Orochimaru still has his. Not a good idea to use it against a Gentle Fist practitioner.
  • Overshadowed by Awesome: Tobirama is an In-Universe example. The narration mentions that he did far more for the infrastructure of the Leaf Village than any other Kage, but most of his achievements were overlooked because he lacked his brothers charisma and Sarutobi's skill at diplomacy.
  • Paper-Thin Disguise: Itachi's attempt to infiltrate the Uchiha Clan reunion is a bust, not because of Naruto's amazing sensing abilities, but because of his terrible disguise.
  • Peggy Sue: The Crack Fic variety.
    • It's also an inversion, since later in the story we see the 12-year old versions of Team 7 and Hinata waking up in their adult bodies.
  • Pen Pals: Shino is pen pals with Fu. The epilogue mentions that they started a Long-Distance Relationship.
  • Played for Laughs: Everything. The only reason why a Peggy Sue fic where the time travelers' retain all their previous abilities, which makes two of them the most powerful ninja in the world right now, doesn't play like a Canon Sue fic is because nothing is being taken seriously.
  • Polyamory: There is strongly implied to be some sort of "understanding" between the two Uchiha and Uzumaki couples.
  • Power Perversion Potential:
    • Sasuke and Sakura use the former's Tsukuyomi to have 72 consecutive hours of sex in a few seconds.
    • Naruto can use the Sexy no Jutsu to peep on his own transformed clones.
    • Defied by Hinata, who claims to never have used the Byakugan for perverted purposes (much to Sakura's disbelief).
  • Pre-Mortem One-Liner: Rasa, the Fourth Kazekage, gets an excellent one before he crushes Sasori and the puppet of the Third Kazekage in his gold dust.
    Rasa: But feel honored, Akasuna... for few men indeed are floated across the Styx in coffins of pure gold.
  • Primal Scene: Sarada walks in on her parents naked in bed together in chapter 27. In something of a variation, she's unfazed, but they freak out because the time travel jutsu that sent them back in time actually swapped their minds with that of their 12 year old selves.
  • Psychic Radar: Taken Up to Eleven by Naruto. Even half asleep and possibly hungover, Naruto's sensory abilities are strong enough that his range is roughly one hundred kilometers. Add in Kurama's chakra and his ability's range increases to encompass almost all of the Elemental Nations as well as becoming acute enough to pick up microscopic organisms.
  • Punny Name: "The Hinata Massacre"; according to the narrative, for all their stoicism and arrogance, elder Hyuuga are (apparently) incredibly fond of puns.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Naruto gives one to Haido, pointing out just how irredeemable he is, saying that Orochimaru and Danzo were better because they had goals other than power for power's sake.
  • Red Shirt: Invoked by Ko Hyuuga word for word in describing himself after he's sent to retrieve Hinata shortly after "The Hinata Massacre".
  • Refuge in Audacity:
    • Naruto, Hinata, Sakura and Sasuke aren't even trying to hide the fact that they've inexplicably become exponentially more powerful overnight, and it (mostly) works too.
    • The Hyuuga Clan simply think Hinata's snapped, and Kakashi assumes that any spy capable of replicating the Mangekyo and Naruto's Seal would have to be drop dead stupid to showcase their strength so openly (Sakura is ruled out by association). Hiruzen seems to be the only one who's remotely suspicious of it all, but he isn't openly taking action on those suspicions as of Chapter 8. In chapter 21 he reveals he has guessed everything. Well, not everything, he got Naruto's number as Hokage wrong and he doesn't know how the time travellers became that strong, but he deduced that Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura and Hinata are freakishly strong time travellers by just observing their strength level and how they act.
    • In chapter 15 it's revealed that Kakashi realizes that their sudden and inexplicable growth in skill is something that should be raising some warning flags, but the fact that he that he genuinely likes them and his ever growing belief that his team will actually outlive him makes him too happy to care.
    • Jiraiya is thrown so far off balance by Naruto's rapid fire revelations during their first meeting that he decides to not even question the absurdity of it all and happily offers to teach Naruto summoning.
  • Rescue Romance: Just like in canon, Karin falls in love with the boy who rescues her in the Forest of Death. Although it wasn't Sasuke this time around... it was Lee.
  • Screw the Rules, I Have Connections!: Lampshaded. Shikamaru says that under normal circumstances, using forbidden time travel kinjutsu could qualify as high treason, but since the perpetrators are the hokage's son and preferred successor respectively he can't actually give them a harsh punishment. So he just makes them wear signs saying ''WE WILL NOT MESS AROUND WITH FORBIDDEN JUTSU'' until the problem is fixed.
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: After getting his ass kicked by Hinata and a little bit of reflection, Orochimaru decides to ditch the invasion plan entirely and retire to the edge of the continent.
  • Sex Tape: In the epilogue, Akatsuchi becomes Tsuchikage. Kurotsuchi partners up with Kankuro running his porn company, both professionally and personally, culminating in a sex tape that lands on the fledgling internet.
  • Shared Family Quirks: Naruto implies the the Uchiha must all share a nurse fetish after learning that some magazines Sasuke had him hide were actually Itachi's.
  • She Is Not My Girlfriend: Bolt and Sarada both have this attitude towards each other.
  • Shipper on Deck: Sakura and Naruto are this towards their friends. Sakura is especially fervent in her shipping of Lee/Tenten, and it's stated that the two best friends were responsible for Chouji/Karui and Kiba/Tamaki.
  • Shoot the Messenger: The unfortunate fate of roughly half of the delivery ninja sent to deliver invitations to the Uzumaki and Uchiha family reunions.
  • Skewed Priorities: After finding out what happened to Team Seven and Hinata, Shikamaru calls an emergency meeting. A third of the people there are more concerned with the fact that Hinata won't be able to finish the new Icha Icha book on time than the fact that four of the most powerful people in the village have been swapped with their twelve year old selves.
  • Smug Super: Team 7 and Hinata, often to ridiculous degrees. How much they boast usually varies depending on their opponents.
  • The Smurfette Principle: Lampshaded by Hinata in chapter 34 when she refers to Fubuki Kakuyoku as the "obligatory kunoichi".
  • Spared by the Adaptation: With the exception of a few Akatsuki members and movie villains, pretty much everybody that died during the events of the main series survives.
  • Squick: In-Universe example. Part of the reason for why Sasuke refused to have his lost arm replaced is because he found the idea disgusting.
    The idea of replacing his missing arm with a bunch of mutant adult stem cells of a man who had died around half a century ago was just gross. He couldn't even stand drinking from another person's canteen, and they expected him to be fine and dandy with gluing some sort of tree-man corpse-tumor onto the stump of his elbow?
    Yeah, no. His fight with Kabuto had left Sasuke borderline paranoid about body modification. That naked chick crawling out of the man's chest flashing him with her lifeless clone tits had been traumatizing enough.
  • The Stations of the Canon: Subverted. The protagonists still follow the plot to an extent, but they don't even bother with the details because to them, this all happened two decades ago and there's no away they'd manage to remember something so minor in the grand scheme of things, even with Sakura's retention rate. Thus, one of the first deviations happens early on when Orochimaru, thanks to Sasuke ripping off his arm and making his body an unsuitable host, goes after Hinata as his next vessel. He doesn't succeed in marking her (mainly because he was on the losing end of the fight before retreating when the rest of her team arrived), ensuring that neither Sasuke nor her will end up in Oto.
  • Stepford Smiler: Hinata has the Hyuuga Clan convinced she's a Type C. She does nothing to dissuade them of it and in fact seems to take gleeful pleasure in promoting said misconception.
  • Story-Breaker Power: In the epilogue, it's stated that all of Mei and Haku's children have three Bloodline Limits.
  • Sufficiently Analyzed Magic: Chakra apparently works this way as discovered by Sarada and Bolt. Their solution to reversing the body-switch jutsu involves a Technobabble time-space machine hooked to a supercomputer.
  • Symbolic Mutilation: Sasuke's reason for refusing a prosthetic for his left arm, as well as why he incinerates the very real left arm that he'd ripped off post time travel when Sakura offers to reattach it.
    Sasuke: It's symbolic. The hand I used when I tried to kill you is gone. Discarding it signifies my resolve to turn aside from the dark path I walked in my younger years. It's a sign of my penitence, and of my ultimate acceptance of your philosophy.
    Naruto: You know... I'm pretty sure you've tried to kill me plenty of times with your right hand, too.
  • Team Mom: Hinata treats Shino and Kiba more like her sons rather than her teammates. Given that Hinata is twenty-five years their senior, and she has a son currently older than them, it wasn't hard for her to get into the role.
  • Teen Genius: Bolt and Sarada are apparently scientific prodigies in the field of chakra theory and physics. (Bolt in particular discovered uzumachyons)
  • There Are No Therapists: Averted; many of the high-ranking Leaf nin are outright ordered to undergo therapy.
  • Throw the Dog a Bone: The epilogue mentions that Neji finally caught a break after he married Tenten.
  • Title Drop: Naruto does this in Chapter 1 after realizing that as a side effect of being put back in his twelve year old body, he can no longer get it on with his wife, Hinata.
    Naruto: ...I'm gonna kill whoever got us thrown back in time. Fuck causality, fuck the laws of nature. I don't even care about that garbage anymore...multiverse theory or some shit, I don't know...BUT I AM NOT GOING THROUGH PUBERTY AGAIN!
  • Timey-Wimey Ball: As the author cheekily points out in Chapter 26. The rest of the chapter shows that whatever jutsu left the time travelers stuck in the past with their past bodies, actually switched them with their past selves. Meaning that a bunch of preteens are stuck in the bodies of the four most powerful people in the village, if not the world.
  • Too Dumb to Live: Temari and Kankuro's opinion of Naruto after he asks Gaara to join him for ramen during their first meeting. Of course, he actually isn't. If Naruto honestly wanted to, he could probably wipe the floor with all three of them in ten seconds flat, but they don't know that.
    • Kakuzu's opinion of Hidan was that the only reason his partner was still alive was that he hadn't pissed off those who could simply disintegrate him and kill him in spite of his immortality. Then Hidan went and charged at the Third Tsuchikage and confirmed his opinion by getting disintegrated.
  • Took a Level in Badass: While Team 7's meteoric rise in skill is very much documented in canon, Hinata's wasn't. Apparently, during the duration of the eighteen years between the end of the manga and the quartet's unintended journey through time, Hinata became a kunoichi whose skill is comparable to the likes of Kakashi and Itachi (putting her on par with the Sandaime Hokage in his old age). Something that Ko Hyuuga can very much attest to after feeling a sliver of Hinata's KI. Chapter 11 showcases her growth, where despite having been a bit out of shape for several years, her current body lacking the physical conditioning to handle her fighting style, and facing Orochimaru, who, in spite of her real age, has a significant experience advantage over her, Hinata is still able to match and even overwhelm him.
    • Sakura hasn't been slouching around either and according to Hinata, she is now theoretically good enough to stand toe to toe with Madara or Hashirama at the top of their game.
  • Touch Telepathy: Before the time traveling incident, Naruto reverse-engineered the principles of the Sage of the Six Paths' ninshu, allowing him to share memories and communicate telepathically while in physical contact with another person. Team Seven and Hinata use this ability to communicate inconspicuously.
  • Trapped in the Past: Team Seven and Hinata have no idea how specifically they got sent to the past and, to their great dismay, none of them know how to go about reversing the process.
  • Troll: Sakura. During the first portion of the Chunin Exam, she finished the first nine questions in five minutes and spent the rest of the time doodling a very sexual picture of Adult!Sakura making out with Adult!Ino. Thus, when Ino transferred her mind into Sakura's body like in canon, she was... surprised at what she saw.
    • To be honest, this applies to all of the time travelers, to varying degrees. They take great amusement in their foreknowledge and superior skills and abilities, and have no issue in mocking their peers and/or superiors. "The Hinata Massacre" is one such example, and one Hinata is no rush to rectify.
    • Naruto's "first" meeting with Jiraiya, where he takes gleeful joy in overwhelming his (future) master with numerous revelations, including (but not limited to) Sasuke having the Rinnegan and him having full mastery over Kurama's chakra. Jiraiya is so confounded that he decides not to question any of it and offers to teach Naruto summoning instead.
    • How does Naruto manipulate Onoki into getting rid of the Akatsuki? By sending him a letter admonishing his actions, then signing it as "The Son of the Yellow Flash", all with a picture of him with a rasengan in one hand and a hiraishin kunai in the other.
  • Tsundere: Itachi at one point calls Sasuke a Tsundere causing him to Face Plant
  • Wham Episode: Chapter 27 tells us how the foursome ended up in the past. Bolt and Sarada tried to go back in time using a jutsu that Naruto had sealed. Unfortunately, it didn't work the way they intended...
  • What Happened to the Mouse?: Much like everything else, lampshaded and Played for Laughs. The epilogue straight up has a line that states "Nobody remembered Baki".
  • "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue: It details the fate of those in Timeline Beta after the quartet from Timeline Gamma switch back to their original bodies back home.
  • World's Strongest Man: Time travel is weird. For some reason, Team 7 and Hinata retained their original strength (chakra levels, reflexes, skills, knowledge, etc.). The only thing that would be holding them back is a change in body type (fully grown adults to twelve year olds), but any effect it would have seems to be negligible. Thus, that technically makes Naruto and Sasuke the strongest ninja in the world (despite being, you know, genin), and all four by far the strongest ninja in the village. Even Hinata, the weakest of them, who was slightly out of shape and hadn't been in an life-or-death battle for years by the time of their trip to the past, is still easily able to match and overwhelm a still-technically-in-his-prime Orochimaru.
  • Would Hit a Girl: Jiraiya. Yes, Jiraiya. Granted, there were specific circumstances: When he saw Konan at the Uzumaki reunion (as Nagato's plus-one), and she slapped him for abandoning them, he slaps her right back for the Too Dumb to Live action of going up against the unbeatable Hanzo and throwing their lives away. Tsunade and Konan are both speechless.
  • Yamato Nadeshiko: Hinata was referred to as Konoha's very own yamato nadeshiko incarnate before the time traveling incident that started off the events of the fic, her fame a result of her marriage to Naruto and her own considerable skills.
    • In Chapter 9, though he never directly refers to the term itself, Shino muses on how easily Hinata slipped into the leadership role, manipulating both him and Kiba with terrifying efficiency in such a warm and kind manner that neither of them can really find any fault with it.
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