Characters from the television series What We Do in the Shadows (2019).
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Vampires
Significant Vampires
The Vampiric Council
The Vampiric Council
Tilda, Evan the Immortal Princess of the Undead, Danny, Paul & Wesley the Daywalker
Other mentioned members: Tom, Brad, Rob, and Kiefer
For the New Zealand Vampiric Council members from the film, go here.
- Actor Allusion:
- All of them are played by actors who had previously played vampires, and get to bare those vampire fangs.
- More specifically, they rail on Wesley for popularizing vampire-hunting.
- Evan is the only one to have a royal-sounding title, alluding to Evan Rachel Wood's role as the Vampire Queen of Louisiana.
- Affably Evil: Most of them are just enforcing order, and don't seem to get any particular enjoyment out of killing people.
- Casting Gag: They are intentionally made up of actors who played vampires in previous works.
- Celebrity Paradox: Many of the movies referenced by the Council have been explicitly mentioned in the franchise — Blade was mentioned in the original film despite "Wesley" being on the Council, Guillermo was inspired to try to become a vampire by Interview with the Vampire despite "Tom and Brad" being mentioned, etc. It's left deliberately unclear whether this is because the actors actually are vampires or it's just a Contrived Coincidence.
- The Danza: Invoked, the implication being that the celebrities themselves actually are vampires is part of the humor.
- Daywalking Vampire: Wesley, who is Skypeing in from the West Coast, is very smug about sitting in front of an uncovered window and basking in sunlight in front of everyone else.
- The Dilbert Principle: The three New Zealand vampires didn't seem like particularly successful representatives of their community back in the 2014 film, and had a number of Always Someone Better moments with their rivals — most notably between Vladislav and the Beast — but now they're apparently important enough to travel all the way to another continent to pass judgment on other vampires' crimes. This is lampshaded to a degree, with dialogue implying that serving on the Council is seen by many high-ranking vampires (like "Tom and Brad") as an irritating chore more than an honor.
- Dirty Coward: Despite his reputation as a great warrior, Vladislav's immediate reaction to Guillermo showing up at the Nouveau Théâtre des Vampires is to flee in bat form and let the actors and audience get slaughtered.
- Gratuitous Princess: Evan is specifically called "The Immortal Princess of the Undead" in her introduction for no real reason; Wesley is the only other one referred to by a title ("Daywalker") and she even says there's no need to use her full name.
- Greater-Scope Villain: For season 2. None of them actually make an appearance except for Vladislav in the season finale but they have been sending vampire assassins to eliminate the main characters for escaping punishment and arrange a trap to execute them for good in the season finale.
- I Am Not Spock: Invoked; the line about unseen member Rob wanting to leave the vampire council behind references Robert Pattinson's notorious disdain for Twilight, despite it being his Star-Making Role.
- No Shirt, Long Jacket: Helping the joke about the Council mainly just being vampire celebrities, it's explicitly drawn attention to how Danny doesn't have a shirt to show off his "sick Mexican tattoos".
- Schmuck Bait: The Council don't bother hiding the fact that they're the sponsors of the Nouveau Théâtre des Vampires when they send their invitation to the Staten Island vamps. Either they were too absent-minded to remove their emblem from the stationery or they bet on the protagonists being too absent-minded to remember that they're still wanted criminals who narrowly escaped execution just a year ago. They were, of course, correct in this assumption.
- Token Good Teammate: Implied to be the case with Wesley, who other council members point out is not only a daywalking vampire but also a vampire hunter. Which should sound familiar.
The Baron
Baron Afanas
Portrayed By: Doug Jones
Nadja and Nandor's sire. An ancient vampire from the Old Country who believes vampires should rule the world.
- Affably Evil: Episode 6 reveals under all his antiquated ham, he's a pretty chummy guy. When he returns in season 3, he's even more mellowed out.
- Barbie Doll Anatomy: It's quickly revealed when he shows up in the flesh that he has no genitals, which Nadja claims made their lovemaking even better. He actually feels insecure about this trait because of his inability to have children.
- Cloudcuckoolander: As soon as they get the chance to interact with him at length in "Baron's Night Out", the gang get the sinking realization that this elder vampire is, as Laszlo puts it, "mad as a wax banana".
- The Dreaded: Everyone is terrified of him as soon as he shows up in the pilot, even with him seemingly comatose and unresponsive inside his coffin, until his sudden and anticlimactic death at the end of "Baron's Night Out". In Season 3, despite him continuing to be quite affable and reduced to half a body with only one arm, they still treat him with great fear and reverence out of the belief he still wants them to do his bidding. In Season 5, we finally see why this reputation is deserved when he finds out that it was Guillermo who burned him in Season 1. Utterly incensed, the fully recovered Baron drops the Affably Evil personality and goes on a Roaring Rampage of Revenge.
- Eye Awaken: His final libations at his funeral restores the ominous glow to his eyes. It turns out in Season 3 this did bring him back from the brink to life.
- The Fog of Ages: The Baron's odd behavior seems to be because of his advanced age — as he puts it, "my mind is devouring itself".
- The Friend Nobody Likes: Hilariously, the Baron turns out to have been this for the Vampiric Council, who are mostly just fine with the status quo of vampirekind and regarded his demands for conquest just as contemptuously as the trio did.
- Hugh Mann: Even after much discussion trying to get the Baron to put on regular human clothing, the Baron is still a pretty conspicuous sight, with his horrifically disfigured face and his tendency to just go up to people and tell them he's a vampire, then start drinking their blood in full view of the public. It gets even sillier when he's reduced to a burnt half of a corpse being rolled around on a mannequin stand in season 3, though he did stop declaring he's a vampire and try to drink blood in public.
- In Vino Veritas: Only after getting drunk does he spill his emotional burdens on the roommates and become more personable with them.
- Locked Out of the Loop: When he comes back, it turns out he has no idea how he died because he was still under the effects of drug blood at the time. Everyone elects not to elaborate on the fact that it was Guillermo who accidentally killed him out of fear of his wrath. The guide eventually reveals this.
- Looks Like Orlok: As with Petyr from the movie (only even more monstrous) with the implication being it's the result of their immense ages. Subverted as of season 4. He refuses to officiate Nandor's wedding because he feels insecure about his burnt corpse appearance. The vampires resort to using Nandor's Djinn to completely reverse all damage done to his body over time, which undoes his inhuman features and leaves him looking like a normal man.
- My Nayme Is: It's revealed that he isn't actually a baron, it was a mutation of the nickname "The Barren" based on his lack of genitals.
- Not Quite Dead: Turns out to still be alive in Season 3's episode "The Escape", albeit still horribly burned and missing an arm and his lower half.
- Not So Above It All: Despite being an ancient, powerful vampire, he lets his hair down with the group and shows a much sillier side.
- Silver Fox: When he's restored to his old self by the Djinn, he doesn't go back to looking like Orlok—he basically just turns into Doug Jones wearing a Dracula costume, which of course makes him a total looker. Nadja and Lazslo immediately both take advantage to screw him in the coatroom.
- So Beautiful, It's a Curse: Season 5 reveals that he can no longer scare mortals as a silver fox. He actually ends up feeling grateful when Guillermo accidentally sunburns him into a living corpse.
- Surprisingly Sudden Death: After all the buildup over how scary and dangerous he is, he's suddenly burnt to a cinder at the end of Season 1 Episode 6, by a mere human, by accident. A season later, he turns out to be alive—he doesn't remember the "accident" on account of having been massively plastered at the time.
- Suspiciously Similar Substitute: To Petyr from the film. Both are ancient vampires that Looks Like Orlok who are implied to have been the one who turned the group into vampires (or in his case, Nadja, who then embraced Laszlo) and is eventually killed by being exposed to direct sunlight due to human clumsiness.
- Take Over the World: He demands that the trio stop their life of immortal goofing off and finish conquering the New World, although he's out of it enough that he doesn't seem to really draw a distinction between doing this and Take Over the City (he assumes Staten Island must be the capital of the New World if the vampires live there).
- Upper-Class Twit: Despite being a leading figure of vampire society, he is woefully out of touch with current affairs.
- We Hardly Knew Ye: Lampshaded trope. The trio lament that they just got to know the Baron as a surprisingly nice, fun guy before he burns to death in the sunlight. Of course, come season 3, we get to know him better.
- Who Needs Their Whole Body?: He comes back in Season 3 as a ribcage, a head and an arm, having kept himself alive in the meantime by living on the blood of all the human bodies buried in the roommates' backyard. He's rather more friendly in his reduced form. Nandor, with the aid of the djinn, is able to restore his body (and his youth) so he can officiate Nandor's wedding, after which he still maintains a friendly demeanor.
- Worth It: His reaction when he insists on tasting a pizza, even though vampires can't eat human food and he ends up projectile-vomiting so much that he propels himself across a parking lot.
Goëjlrm
Goëjlrm
Portrayed By: Jean-Michel Richaud (voice); Vaios Skretas, Chris Mark (puppeteers)
The oldest living vampire and the progenitor of the entire race.
- The Dreaded: All other vampires are terrified of him due to how he seems to have become an unreasonable, feral monster over the millennia. In reality, he's actually pretty cognizant and self-aware.
- Evil Sounds Raspy: His voice is a deep, harsh, animalistic gurgle.
- Hidden Depths: According to the Baron, he actually has a keen sense of humor.
- I Just Want to Be Free: It turns out his main motivation is just being unhappy that he was locked up by the Vampiric Council and having to be fed by others.
- Looks Like Orlock: Extremely exaggerated, to the point where one would mistake him for a gargoyle at first glance rather than anything even close to a vampire.
- Monster Progenitor: All vampires are indirectly descended from him.
- Odd Friendship: As the Baron is the only one who can understand him, the two form a kinship over both being incredibly ancient vampires.
- Red Baron: He is only known as The Sire to all, which the characters mainly refer to him as because his real name is too confusing to get the pronunciation right at first glance.
- Super-Strength: On a level even for a vampire, being able to easily toss Nandor aside like he's as light as a feather when the Staten Island Trio try to corner him in a store.
- The Unintelligible: He speaks a language so ancient that only the Baron can understand and has to translate for everyone else. By season 4, the Baron has taught him enough English that he no longer requires translation.
- Time Abyss: He's unfathomably old, to the point where even the Baron looks more like a human than he does.
The Guide
The Guide
Portrayed By: Kristen Schaal
The Vampiric Council's intermediary and assistant for various local branches.
- Abhorrent Admirer: To Guillermo. She's seen clumsily coming on to him in his room much to his annoyance and then sleeping in his bed after he leaves despite him demanding she not do so. Season 4 reveals it's because she's instinctively drawn to Van Helsings as one of her kinks to see if she will be killed by vampire hunters while seducing them.
- Ascended Extra: She only had one appearance in Season 1, but returns in Season 3 as the assistant for the newly promoted vampires. In Season 4, she takes a much more active role and in Season 5, she gets added to the Main Cast list.
- Beleaguered Assistant: She regards the roommates as a significant downgrade from previous councils she served and is often very exasperated with their lack of adherence to protocol, but notes that she's not gonna complain since that kind of stuff's above her paygrade. It's also implied she's annoyed with managing the Council's business with human bureaucracy for her job at various points.
- While her Council duties are suspended during Season 4 as a byproduct of Nadja's club opening, she remains this as she helps Nadja managed it.
- Cannot Keep a Secret: Manages to spill the beans on both Guillermo's accidental killing of the Baron and his newfound vampirism to Nandor.
- Conspicuous Gloves: Save for her first appearance, she's shown wearing black leather gloves at all times.
- Covert Pervert: She's had her job for so long, she completely forgot that it was originally a punishment for being wildly and depravedly kinky to the point of sleeping with vampire hunters.
- Dark and Troubled Past: Played for Laughs. She used to be an absolutely unhinged, hot mess of a vampire before being assigned Guide duty as punishment.
- Didn't See That Coming: She's pretty baffled by the promotion given to the main characters.
- Early-Installment Weirdness: In her debut episode, she's seen constantly floating (to the point she's consistently towering over all other characters), her voice has a demonic twang to it and her accent is significantly softer. She also lacks her ever-present gloves. All these characteristics are dropped by her next appearance.
- Fake Guest Star: For Season 3 as she appears or makes at least one cameo in every episode.
- Fisher Kingdom: The Guide has been working in the Vampire Council building for so long that she physically feels any changes made to it; for example, if a brick gets chipped she gets a headache.
- The Friend Nobody Likes: In Season 5 she seems to have abandoned her Council duties alongside the Roommates when they go back to Staten Island and instead has become focused on being friends with them... they show her a level of disinterest and disdain beyond even what they showed either Colin Robinson or Guillermo pre-Character Development.
- Large Ham: Particularly when she’s upset. Being played by the voice of Louise Belcher makes it no surprise.
- Necromancer: Over her decades of service to the Vampire Council, she learned to summon the dead thanks to its extensive occult library and has such currently owns the second largest collection of human dead souls in America.
- Never Bareheaded: She has several elaborate outfits, all of which come with their own fancy hat that she never takes off.
- No Name Given: She is only referred to as "The Guide" in everything. Even Guillermo only refers to her as "Guide lady" when he directly addresses her.
- No-Sell: To date she's the only vampire who has shrugged off multiple direct attacks from Guillermo, a feat not even seasoned warlord Nandor can boast.
- Only Sane Man: Plays this role to the roommates when they're on the Council. Season 5 proves she's just as unhinged as all vampires, after locking up the roommates in a cage for slighting her emotionally.
- Promotion to Opening Titles: After being a Fake Guest Star in Season 3 and 4, the Guide is promoted to main character in Season 5 with Kristen Schaal appearing in the main credits.
- Psychic Link: Has one with the Council wraiths. They undo construction and even eat one of the human workers despite orders not to do so because the Guide doesn't truly want to see the Council building altered.
- Surrounded by Idiots: Her general attitude toward the roommates; she's constantly frustrated by their antics.
- Unishment: "The Lamp" reveals that the Guide's job was intended to be a punishment for sleeping with vampire hunters. She doesn't mind the job itself, though, at least not until the roommates join the Council.
- What the Hell Is That Accent?: Guide’s accent sounds vaguely German/British.
Recurring Vampires
Jenna
Jenna
Portrayed By: Beanie Feldstein
A LARPer and virgin whom Guillermo lured for the vampires to feast on. She was later transformed by Nadja into a vampire when she witnessed Jenna being treated poorly by her peers. During her vampire training with Nadja, she discovers she has the rare ability to turn invisible, which fits the tendency of people to ignore her.
- Apologetic Attacker: Her first victim's final moments of life are spent with Jenna quickly assuring him it's okay before she kills him.
- Bat People: Jenna is incapable of fully turning into a bat, and instead turns into a horrifying baby-sized bat-like humanoid that can barely fly.
- Butt-Monkey: She is the lowest on the pecking order in her LARPing group, with her suggestions mocked and brushed aside, and it is heavily implied that her boyfriend is abusive.
- Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: Mysteriously disappears after the first season, though it's mostly due to her actress being unavailable.
- Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: She has a tough time with most of her vampire powers at first, and is totally hopeless at mind control and seduction compared to Nadja — but once she does trigger her superpower it turns her into a truly terrifying predator.
- Geek Physiques: One of the reasons Jenna gets bullied by her fellow nerds is the fact she's overweight. She gets some mean jokes at her expense over this when she becomes a vampire, like her total failure to Wall Crawl and her bat form being almost too heavy to fly. (When she first appears in the pilot as a virgin sacrifice she's a visual contrast to her Spear Counterpart Jonathan, who's the scrawny gangly type of geek.)
- How Do I Shot Web?: Jenna has no idea how to use most vampire abilities at first, so Nadja offers to show her the ropes. She later discovers her unique ability to turn invisible by accident.
- Invisibility: This turns out to be her special vampire ability, probably due to the fact that she's spent much of her life being ignored.
- Morality Pet: Although Nadja is still a merciless vampire, she's genuinely kind to Jenna and shows a softer side of herself.
- Naïve Newcomer: To being a vampire and the vampire world in general.
- Nice Girl: Jenna is even kind to the ska band member she murders at the frat party.
- Personality Powers: A bullied nerd who is often ignored gets the power of invisibility.
- Suspiciously Similar Substitute: To Nick from the film, having originally been brought by Guillermo to be eaten, only to eventually be turned into a vampire instead.
- Undeathly Pallor: She starts looking a lot more ashen after getting embraced.
- Vegetarian Vampire: Jenna tries to live like this before she fully transforms into a vampire, but Nadja tells her this is why she feels so sick and weak all the time. She's still pretty reluctant the first time she makes a human kill, but starts taking to it pretty quickly.
- What Happened to the Mouse?: She probably grows into a ferocious killer in her last appearance in Season 1, but it's still ambiguous.
- You Remind Me of X: Nadja takes a liking to her, and even turns her into a vampire, because she reminds her of herself when she was her age.
Simon
Simon the Devious
Portrayed By: Nick Kroll
A vampire who rules over the Manhattan vampires and owns the Sassy Cat nightclub. He was a close friend to the Staten Island trio when all the vampires first arrived in America.
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: At first it seems like he is a genuine friend to Laszlo and Nadja, having moved to America together and genuinely happy to see each other. By the end of "Manhattan Night Club", it turns out that he thinks nothing of them, having only allowed them into the club so that he could take Laszlo's witch-skin hat. He does this trick a second time in "The Return" for the same reason, milking them of their generosity by playing up his bad situation so that he could take the hat in a vain attempt to stick it to them.
- Does this yet again when he constructs the persona of Bran Daltry, a reality show host that Laszlo is a fan of. The two hit it off when fixing up the house, but it is eventually revealed to be a ruse for the solo purpose of stealing the cursed hat again. This included befriending a regular guy and paying for him to study architecture before pitching and filming several seasons of a TV show. He gets away with the hat, only for it to literally blow up in his face shortly after.
- Complexity Addiction: His schemes to steal Laszlo's hat have reeked of this. First, sending a false alliance invitation to the main vampires when he could've just raided their house and taken the hat. Then faking that he had fallen on hard times just so the vampires would take pity on him, when again he could've just raided the house. And finally, spending months pitching and filming a home improvement show which involves teaching a regular guy months about architecture (even though he could've just gotten someone who already knew about it) and then hoping one of the vampires would become interested by Go Flip Yourself and call the show to fix up their house. Guillermo even lampshades how needlessly complicated that last scheme is.
- Driven by Envy: In "The Return", it is revealed that despite all of his success and the crew he had amassed, he has found no satisfaction in the fruits in his ambition. The primary reason why he wants Laszlo's witch-hat is in a vein attempt to have what they have: an ability to "settle" and have a genuine connection with someone.
- Faux Affably Evil: He acts like an Old Friend to Laszlo and Nadja, but secretly intends to use them.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: After stealing the cursed hat from Laszlo, he tries to pull his fire-arrow trick only to blow up his entire club due to the curse.
- After he steals the hat again he continues working on the reality TV show he created as a cover to steal it in the first place. He was showing off a new stove he installed only for it to violently blow up the whole house with him inside.
- How the Mighty Have Fallen: When he reappears in "The Return", he's gone from being a New York Vampire Monarch with a massive coterie of followers to a skulking hermit in the sewers, with his "crew" reduced to just Count Rapula and a new vampire named Carol. Subverted when this turns out to have been a ruse to trick Laszlo into letting him steal the accursed hat back, but then double-subverted when this leads to his crew abandoning him for real.
- Jerkass: Even for a vampire, he's an obnoxious prick and False Friend to the Staten Island Trio.
- Laser-Guided Karma:
- After rudely kicking out the group once he acquire Laszlo's hat, Simon tries to do a fire arrow trick which somehow causes his club to explode violently. He's later seen at the hospital wrapped in bandages.
- In seas 2, he proclaims that none of his vampire associates (or zombie accountant) really matter to him as their relationship is empty and hollow compared to Nadja and Laszlo's love. When he starts to drown because of the cursed hat, the crew promptly point out that he just said he didn't really care about them, so they don't have any reason to go out of their way to help him.
- Happens again at the end of his third appearance, where he manages to successfully steal Laszlo's hat... only for its curse to happen while he's showing off a house to a couple, causing a stove to violently explode the house with him still inside.
- Names to Run Away from Really Fast: He's devious. It's right there in the name. Also a trope that applies to his "crew" (the "Leatherskins") and to the monikers used by several members of said crew ("the Silent One", "Blagvad the Exsanguinator").
- Once a Season: Save for the third and fifth season, he shows up once every season.
- Overly Long Gag: Insists on introducing his crew one by one, each time they show up. It gets truly ridiculous when he introduces Count Rapula, who begins a rap in the middle of this.
- Too Dumb to Live: Even though the hat has nearly killed him three times now, he's still stubborn on getting it for himself.
- Unexplained Recovery: He survived having his nightclub getting blown up and somehow managed to free his foot from being fused to a sewer grate.
- Vampire Monarch: While it isn't specified just how far of a reach he has in the vampire world, he is explicitly said to be one of the most powerful vampires in New York City, the Staten Island Trio meeting with him specifically for this reason.
- Vampires Own Nightclubs: The Sassy Cat is his HQ. Or was, until it blew up.
Derek
Derek
Portrayed By: Chris Sandiford
A nerdy former would-be vampire hunter and current vampire.
- Ambiguously Bi: Derek is constantly trying to get the Staten Island Mosquito Club, which consists of both men and women, to have an orgy.
- Back from the Dead: After dying from getting staked, he's brought to Wallace the necromancer and resurrected as a zombie.
- Black and Nerdy: When we meet him, he's just as big a dork as the rest of the Mosquito Club and still lives with his mom. Becoming a vampire doesn't seem to have made him any cooler either.
- Everyone Has Standards: Why he still has to work for a living after becoming a vampire. He'll drain the living dry to sustain his undeath, yeah, but stealing their money after killing them? That's a bridge too far.
- Nerds Are Virgins: Derek certainly is, and is constantly trying to get the Mosquito Club to have an orgy so that he can lose it under the flimsy justification that it will protect them from vampires.
- Sacrificial Lamb: Derek is abandoned during the Mosquito Club's first attempt at a vampire hunt just to prove how woefully unqualified they are. Thankfully, he's turned into a vampire rather than being killed.
- The Bus Came Back: The last we see of Derek in Season 2 is him getting swarmed by the Hustle Dynasty after the Mosquito Club's first attempt at a hunt goes awry. Season 3 reveals that he survived and was turned into a vampire, but without anyone around to tell him how to be a vampire, he has blundered into committing several crimes against vampirism; Guillermo tricked Laszlo into taking him on as an apprentice.
- Too Dumb to Live: He spaces out in the middle of a vampire household, which gets him caught and turned. A lot of his escapades as a vampire border on the idiotic due to not knowing how the whole shtick works. His tenure as a vampire eventually ends with Nandor staking him.
- Vampires Are Rich: No, he's not. He's a service sector schlub working a convenience store. Guillermo ends the fourth season hoping to exploit this, offering him all the remaining money he embezzled from Nadja's club in exchange for Derek embracing him.
Evie Russel
Evie Russel
Portrayed By: Vanessa Bayer
An emotional vampire (a powerful variant of energy vampire who instead feeds off of pity and sympathy rather than annoyance and boredom). She joins the same office that Colin Robinson works at in "Werewolf Duel," and after initially fighting with Colin Robinson over their food source (the office workforce), they instead decide to team-up and start dating to get more food through hunting as a pair.
- Amicable Exes: She's perfectly fine with Colin Robinson breaking up with her (as he realized that their relationship wasn't healthy and they were still technically feeding off of one another), even giggling to herself when he's walking away and he takes her over-the-top sob stories the wrong way. However, she's good at pretending to be actually upset about their break-up so as to invoke sympathy (and therefore food).
- The Bus Came Back: She makes an unexpected reappearance in season five, teaming up with Colin again.
- Consummate Liar: Has supposedly had six different pairs of grandparents die after she starts at the office.
- Distaff Counterpart: To Colin Robinson, with both being powerful psychic vampires that work in an office setting and feed off of human Life Energy through inspiring certain emotions.
- Innocently Insensitive: To garner pity during her and Colin Robinson's Villain Team-Up, she claims that because she's now broke, she has to sleep in the office now because her boyfriend Colin Robinson isn't ready for her to move in with him. However, this genuinely offends Colin Robinson and makes him realize that their relationship isn't healthy since they're encouraging each other's worst personality traits, leading to them breaking up.
- Kindhearted Cat Lover: Invokes this trope to garner pity, claiming that she's cleaned out all of her savings due to eye surgery for her pet cat.
- Large Ham: Her stories get increasingly melodramatic as time goes on, and she also engages in an absurd Wizard Duel with Colin Robinson consisting largely of them levitating and violently screaming at each other.
- Master Actor: She's incredibly good at making her ridiculous sob-stories seem legitimate, to the point where even Colin Robinson is initially effected.
- Meaningful Name: Evie — E.V. — Emotional Vampire. Does not go unnoticed by Colin Robinson.
- Noodle Incident: Most of her stories come across as this, such as her claiming that she's "never had a home" and that she first wore her mauve skirt when her sister got diagnosed with cancer.
- Troll: It's clear that she finds invoking pity in others to be very amusing, with her jokingly yanking Colin Robinson's chain when they break up by pretending to be genuinely upset… and then quickly laughing it off and reassuring him that she's fine when he tries to console her.
- Villain Team-Up: Forms an incredibly effective "hunting pair" with Colin Robinson after they realize that they can't overcome the other.
- The Woobie: Parodied and invoked In-Universe; her life is a seemingly never-ending series of tragedies that she makes up in order to garner sympathy. As an emotional vampire, she intentionally plays up her status as this trope in order to feed on other people's pity.
Count Rapula
Count Rapula
Portrayed By: Mike Dara
A vampire resident of Manhattan and fixture of Simon's entourage.
- Piss-Take Rap: Speaks almost exclusively in these when we see him.
- The Friend Nobody Likes: Nadja openly complains whenever Count Rapula is introduced, and Simon will silence his rapping after a few lines so he can continue explaining his schemes.
One-Shot Vampires
The Hustle Dynasty
The Hustle Dynasty
Jim
Jim the Vampire
Portrayed By: Mark Hamill
A vampire who claims that Laszlo owes him rent money from the 1800s and demands retribution.
- Affably Evil: He might be Laszlo's enemy, but he's entertainingly goofy, has a genuine grievance and ultimately abandons the feud.
- Determinator: Hilariously spoofed; as impressive as his claim of him having been hunting Laszlo for the past 167 years sounds on the surface, this actually only underlies how much of an incompetent idiot he really is since Laszlo had been making no effort at all within those aforementioned 167 years to evade Jim.
- The Ditz: It's all but directly spelled out that even for a vampire, he's not the sharpest tool in the shed. See, for instance, him not only being fooled by Laszlo's quite frankly pathetic Paper-Thin Disguise (at least until Laszlo both takes his toothpick out and has his lack of a reflection shown), but Laszlo is able to easily dupe him into accepting a supposedly priceless Billy Bass
as payment for his past debt. - Heel Realization: When his fight with Laszlo destroys the fundraiser money, he realizes the negative consequences of his obsessive feud.
- Hidden Depths: Just like Laszlo, he gains a surprisingly genuine affection for the local girl's high school volleyball team.
- I Have Many Names: And his primary one is "Jim".
- Mirror Character: With his antiquated manner, innocuous name, casual ruthlessness and surprising yet selective moral backbone, he fits the mold of another vampire roommate. He also goes to Pennsylvania for the exact same reason Laszlo did.
- Tom the Dark Lord: A powerful and dangerous vampire... who's simply called "Jim".
- Unknown Rival: After proclaiming that he's been furiously hunting after Laszlo for the past 167 years to make him repay his debt, Laszlo is completely confused and has to be reminded by his housemates where he vaguely remembers Jim from.
- Vampire Vords: Jim is of indeterminate origin and apparently owned a house in California at one point, but he has the classical vampire vaguely-Eastern-European accent nevertheless.
Jan
Jan
Portrayed By: Cree Summer
A vampire who has founded a vampire cult styled as a wellness center where she convinces her followers they can become human once more.
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: She seems like a benevolent leader of a Wellness Centre, being warm and friendly, but it’s very blatantly an act and she has no problem selling people out when she’s on the verge of getting caught.
- Blatant Lies: On charisma alone convinces her followers her methods work even though the evidence that it does not is right in front of them (literally in the case of the hula hooping scene). Look at her face as she eats the apple in front of Nandor as she obviously struggles with it while simultaneously urging him to believe her with her eyes: it works. To be fair, most of the vampires are very, very stupid.
- Con Artist: She runs what's essentially a Scam Religion that convinces depressed vampires that they're on the path to becoming human again, even though they're really nowhere near close to that. She does this by pretending she has become human enough to eat and drink, only to throw up what she's eaten as soon as everyone's backs are turned.
- Cool Teacher: Part of her act is to be a very fun charismatic aerobics instructor.
- Disco Dan: She has a thing for The '80s, in particular the workout tapes of the time.
- Faux Affably Evil: Very open and friendly with both her current followers and new vampires she meets (which of course is part of how she draws in new converts) but immediately turns hostile when a human arrives. She also gives Nandor an affectionate nickname and constantly encourages him and others (again this helps foster devotion in her followers) before leading them all to their death by the Sun without a second thought.
- Hypocrite: Urges vampires to stop killing, but when Guillermo goes to rescue Nandor, she tells them to kill him.
- Karma Houdini: She has yet to get any sort of punishment for fooling (and killing) her cultists.
- Know When to Fold 'Em: When her cult's been exposed, she tricks her followers out into the sun and quips "back to the drawing board" to the camera.
- Theme Tune: In-Universe example - "One Week" by Barenaked Ladies, which her followers sing every day.
