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Chris McLean, the host. Also called "The Lord of Wawanakwa", "The Arbiter of Fates", etc.
- Dissonant Serenity: Chris' all-purpose facial expression is a bland smile, very likely rehearsed. He can remain serene in almost any situation because he doesn't really care what happens to the contestants.
- Even Evil Has Standards: When Duncan facetiously suggests that Chris is having the eliminated contestants slaughtered for meat, after having previously suggested that the notoriously cheap producers were using the interns killed on the job for that purpose, Courtney insists that there are some things even Chris wouldn't do.
- Evil Laugh: Chris occasionally indulges in hammy "evil stage laughter".
- Executive Meddling: Although this is a canon trait in-universe for Chris, the reimagined version tends to meddle more subtly than his canon counterpart (who was, after all, satirizing such things at the meta level).
- When Noah refuses to do the cliff diving challenge and gives Chris too much lip about it, Chris decides to make an example of Noah. The trope in this case is subverted when Noah later changes his mind for unrelated reasons and (successfully) dives after all, leaving Chris visibly disappointed.
- When an elimination vote ends in a tie, Chris effectively casts the tiebreaking vote himself in an unusually transparent (and, arguably, reasonable) example of meddling.
- Large Ham: When he’s not looking serene, Chris tends to say and do things “theatrically”. (He is a professional actor, after all.)
- Mr. Exposition: Chris' challenge briefings tend to go into a goodly level of detail, partly so the camera mugging host can get more screen time for himself.
- A Sinister Clue: The sadistic and untrustworthy Chris is left-handed. This is most apparent in the elimination ceremony, where he holds the marshmallow tray in his right hand and dispenses the marshmallows with his left.
- Stepford Smiler: Related to Dissonant Serenity above. Once the contestants see Chris' callous disregard for human life, it doesn't take them long to get sick of his ubiquitous bland smile. Courtney is described as wanting to push Chris' face in because of that smile, and her reaction is fairly typical.
Chef Hatchet, Chris' aide
- Punch-Clock Villain: Although Chef does his job (which frequently involves making the contestants' lives more difficult) in a conscientious and workmanlike fashion, he'll also help the contestants out from time to time if it doesn't conflict with his duties. He agrees to conduct the funeral service when Chris can't be bothered, and his attitude toward Sadie after her ordeal during the camping challenge could even be seen as kindly.
Alejandro, the Intern in Chief. Also called "the former reality show star".
- Almighty Janitor: Alejandro is really more of a "wise janitor", thanks to a good deal of relevant experience, but there isn't a separate trope for that.
- Big Brother Mentor: During the first challenge, Alejandro gives Beth an Info Dump on elimination game strategy. A remark after the talent show implies that they became close, suggesting that Alejandro is mentoring Beth on an ongoing basis. Alejandro later supplies Beth with beer for the boot camp party.
- Draco in Leather Pants: There is little sign of Alejandro's canonical manipulativeness, justified in-universe by the fact that he's a mere working stiff, not a contestant, so he generally has no incentive to manipulate people. His status as the former dominating antagonist of a failed elimination game show suggests that his canonical traits are still there, but he hasn’t shown them and they come across as informed attributes.
- Hero of Another Story: Alejandro was the Villain Protagonist of an earlier, similar show called Camp TV.
- Mauve Shirt: Although other interns have lines, Alejandro was by far the most prominent until Dawn and Ella arrived, and he has a major scene with Beth during the first challenge.
- Survivor Guilt: Alejandro feels guilty after the death of his friend, Lightning, because Alejandro had talked Lightning into swapping work assignments for a petty reason. Lightning was subsequently killed on the assignment that should have been Alejandro's.
Dawn, an intern. Also called "the mystic" and "the wraith-girl"
- Adaptational Badass: Dawn is canonically a psychic with aura reading and ambiguous additional powers. In the reimagining, she is explicitly a full-fledged sorceress, and her "psychic" abilities are actually magical in nature.
- Almighty Janitor: Despite being a lowly intern, Dawn can do things nobody else on the island can do, and even Chris appreciates the value of her "irreplaceable skill set".
- Famous Ancestor: The magically gifted Dawn claims to be descended from the commercial sorcerer John Wellington Wells, whose namesake is the titular sorcerer in the Gilbert and Sullivan operetta, The Sorcerer. According to Dawn, the real J.W. Wells served as a sorcery consultant to Mr. Gilbert, who named the opera’s titular sorcerer after him in appreciation. The titular sorcerer's introduction song subsequently became the company song for Wells & Co. Family Sorcerers, and Dawn's name note was chosen to fit the meter.
- Mauve Shirt: When Dawn arrives on the island with twelve others to replenish the depleted intern corps, it doesn't take her long to become as prominent as some of the contestants, and she has several big scenes.
- Miss Exposition: Dawn spends a lot of time explaining the ways of magic and the spirit world to muggles to need to know for some reason, and by extension to the reader.
Ella/Perola, an intern with a difference
As Ella, "The Singing Intern". Also called simply "The Singer".
- Flat Character: Ella is more a plot device than a character. She is defined almost entirely by the effects her singing has on others.
- God in Human Form: After Ella's apparent death, it comes to light (so to speak) that she was actually a type of immortal forest spirit that takes physical form in its juvenile phase. When she decided to settle permanently on the heavily forested island, she cast off her no longer needed physical body, which "died" as a result. There is no evidence that the human Ella was aware of her true nature.
- Mauve Shirt: Despite her lack of development, and despite (or possibly because of) largely being Dawn's sidekick, Ella quickly becomes well known and well liked by the contestants and staff due to the plainly beneficial effects of her singing.
- Red Baron: After the magical properties of Ella's singing come to light, she becomes best known as simply The Singer.
- Sidekick: Although Ella appears independently at first, she increasingly acts like a sidekick to Dawn, who understands Ella's powers and nature better than Ella herself does. Their powers are largely complementary, but while Dawn is skilled in various mystic/psychic disciplines, Ella's power is raw, somewhat unpredictable, and usually can't be invoked deliberately.
- Invisible to Normals: Ella/Perola in her mature form is an incorporeal forest spirit that only Dawn (and presumably others with special perceptions) can see. When Dawn shares her powers with D.J. via a psychic link, he can also see and converse with Perola.
- Meaningful Rename: When Ella transforms from human to forest spirit, she takes a new name, Perola, which according to Dawn was her true name all along.Dawn: But don’t call her Ella. That was just the name given her by her human “foster parents”, for lack of a better term. Her true name is Perola.
- Nature Spirit: After Ella's apparent death, it comes to light (so to speak) that she is actually a type of immortal forest spirit that takes physical form in its juvenile phase. When she decided to settle permanently on the heavily forested island, the now-mature spirit cast off her no longer needed physical body, which "died" as a result. There is no evidence that the human Ella was aware of her true nature.
- Shipper on Deck: Perola isn't shy about suggesting that her good friend Dawn belongs with kindred spirit D.J.
- That Man Is Dead: When Ella assumes her mature, incorporeal form, Dawn tells D.J. to call her "Perola", which is the spirit's true name. According to Dawn, "Ella" is merely the name her human "foster" parents gave her, and Dawn implies that Perola will eventually forget most of her human life.
Beth, the wannabe. Also called "the nerd girl" and "the farm girl".
- Can't Get Away with Nuthin': When Beth, who had never done anything wrong before, exploits her relationship with Alejandro to get beer for the campers' party, Chris responds by forcing her teammates to vote her off at their next elimination.
Bridgette, the surfer chick. Also called "the wave rider".
- Jade-Colored Glasses: Partway through the confessional spot wherein she denounces Chris for his treatment of the interns, Bridgette begins to speak in "the disillusioned tone of one who has lost too much innocence before her time."
- Oh My Gods!: Bridgette says "oh, gods" in situations where other characters might say "gosh", "oh my god", etc, suggesting that she subscribes to a polytheistic (and probably naturalistic) religion.
- Too Good for This Sinful Earth: The Storyteller suggests that Bridgette's relatively early elimination was for the best.The Storyteller: There were some real horrors still ahead of us, not to mention the backstabbing and double dealing that elimination games encourage, and she was such a pure-hearted girl. I hate to think what getting deep into the game could have done to her.
Cody, the science geek
- Author Appeal: Cody is the go-to character for allusions to two of the author’s favorite media franchises, Star Trek and Monty Python.
- Mr. Vice Guy: He's loyal and well-meaning, but his jealousy issues enable Heather to manipulate him. He also seems at times to have a one-track mind.
- The Perfectionist: During the phobia confession scene, Noah correctly guesses that perfectionism is at the root of Cody's fear of time pressure.Noah: I read somewhere that perfectionists can’t be rushed. If you try to rush them, they make more mistakes but don’t really go any faster.
- Shipper on Deck: One of the reasons why Cody and Noah ally with each other is to help get them hooked up with the girls they are crushing on.
- Silent Scapegoat: When Gwen mistakenly believes that Cody, and not Heather, was the instigator of an incident that badly hurt Gwen, Cody does not correct her because he is unwilling to badmouth a girl.
- Twin Threesome Fantasy: Cody clearly has one for Katie and Sadie, as the only "twins" on the island, although he seems content to let it remain a fantasy.
Courtney, the Ms. Do-It-All. Also called “the former CIT” (after her iconic CIT experience is revealed), "the lawyer-to-be", "the diminutive dynamo", etc.
- Friendly Enemy: To Heather. Their positions as the leaders of their respective teams makes them natural rivals, and they don’t appear to be friends, but they get along reasonably well. When they trash talk each other, it tends to be with tongue in cheek.
- The Napoleon: The Storyteller and other contestants occasionally cast Courtney in this light, although it's questionable how well it really fits Courtney's disposition. In the original, Courtney sometimes looks short and sometimes not; but in the reimagining, she is explicitly tiny.
- Team Mom: Courtney is a good deal more successful at this than her canon counterpart, earning not only deference but also respect from most of her teammates, even Ezekiel. Especially Ezekiel.Izzy: Guys, you know what Zeke thinks of girls, and we can just imagine what he thinks of girls being in charge. And yet he was the first one to stick up for Courtney. That should tell you something.
D.J., the soft-hearted brickhouse. Also called "the gentle giant".
- Revenge Before Reason: When Ezekiel kills a rabbit during the camping challenge, without knowing that D.J had intended to keep it as a pet, D.J. starts scheming to get Ezekiel eliminated. Eva eventually calls D.J. out on his obsession.Eva: [exasperated sigh] Are you still hung up on that stupid rabbit?
- Shipping Torpedo: D.J. tries to discourage Courtney from falling for Ezekiel, by leading her to realize what's happening. D.J. tells himself that he is doing it for Courtney's sake, because he thinks she can do better, but his real reason is that he harbors a grudge against Ezekiel.
- Skewed Priorities: In the first challenge, part of the reason D.J. refuses to dive into shark-infested waters is because he couldn't bear to hurt the sharks, which he might have to do if he were to miss the safe zone and have to defend himself.
Duncan, the juvenile delinquent. Also called "the Juvenile Hall alumnus" and "the scorner of laws".
- Compressed Vice: The first mention of Duncan's smoking habit comes when he's going through forced withdrawal. One canon episode did allude to a smoking habit with the revelation that Duncan carries a lighter.
- Covered with Scars: The long sleeves on Duncan's shirt conceal the fact that his arms are covered with knife fighting scars.Duncan: Let me tell you something. If you’re in a knife fight, and you get out of it without getting cut, that doesn’t mean you’re good. It means you’re lucky.
- Every Scar Has a Story: When Duncan removes his shirt for the first time in the presence of the other boys, they notice that his arms are covered with scars. They ask how he got them, and he replies quite matter-of-factly that he got them knife fighting. He explains that coming out of a knife fight without getting cut indicates luck rather than skill. One scar is different, and Duncan explains when asked that it came from a broken bottle.
- Scars Are Forever: Duncan’s heavily scarred arms suggest that any scar he gets is likely to be permanent.
Eva, the musclegirl. Also called "the steel maiden" "Iron Woman", etc.
- Bruiser with a Soft Center: Eva is a rage-prone she-hulk who responds well to love poetry.
- Combat Pragmatist: During the dodgeball match, Eva routinely throws at the groins of both male and female opponents—not because she's trying to hurt them, but rather because it's a difficult spot to defend well under dodgeball rules.
- Heroic Ambidexterity: Eva reveals her previously unsuspected ambidexterity in the dodgeball match when she throws two balls at once, "for both her arms were as her right", to catch her target unawares at a critical moment.
- Hidden Depths: Eva shows flashes of an intellectual side, such as when she calls Ezekiel a "trilobite" in reference to his religiosity (the Holy Trinity, to be precise) and to what she sees as his primitive attitudes.
- I Am Not Left-Handed: In a downplayed example, Eva hides the fact not that she's using her off hand, but that she can use either with equal facility. She hides her ambidexterity until a critical moment in a one-on-one challenge duel, when she surprises her opponent by suddenly doubling her firepower.
- Ms. Vice Girl: Despite her anger management problems, she's a pretty decent girl. This is most evident in her dealings with Leshawna, who has anger management problems of her own as per canon.
Ezekiel, the homeschooled farm boy. Also called "Bible Boy", "the prairie boy", etc.
- Homeschooled Kids: Lampshaded by Ezekiel when he arrives on the island. He points out that "just because I'm homeschooled doesn't mean I live in a cave", in the process defying the canonical version of his introduction. Ezekiel also points out that he has Internet access at home, even if "it's just dial-up".
- Innocent Bigot: Courtney depicts Ezekiel in this light when she argues that he doesn't deserve to be voted off just for being a sexist.
- OC Standin: The reimagining replaces social ineptness with religiosity as a basic aspect of Ezekiel's character because (a) social ineptness is an aspect of the homeschooled stereotype that that author considers unworthy of perpetuation; (b) most parents who homeschool their children do so for religious reasons; (c) the canon describes Ezekiel’s parents as “freaky prairie people”, which the author interprets as code for “Bible thumpers”; and (d) "Ezekiel" is a Biblical name. This change effectively makes Ezekiel a new character. Although Ezekiel remains a sexist because he wouldn't be Ezekiel without it, his sexism is more subdued and realistic than in the original.
- Whip It Good: Ezekiel cracks a mean bullwhip, as he demonstrates during the talent show.
Geoff, the urban cowboy. Also called "the party king".
Gwen, the Goth.
- First Love: Gwen gets her first boyfriend on the island. Then Heather notices…
- You Are Better Than You Think You Are: When Gwen is pining for her lost boyfriend, Leshawna tells her in pertinent part that she's stronger than she thinks she is, and that if she just tries, she'll be better at making friends than she thinks she is.
Harold, the walking encyclopedia. Also called “the beanpole”. WARNING: First-Episode Spoiler
- Adaptational Badass: When a monstrous beetle menaces Lindsay, Harold casually tosses a shuriken and neatly skewers the insect. Had he tried this in the Played for Laughs original, he would surely have failed in an amusing way.
- Chivalrous Pervert: As per canon, he loves the ladies, and he would happily move mountains for them, while being perfectly aware of their... assets.
- Forgotten Fallen Friend: Inverted in that the other contestants barely knew him when he is presumed killed in a challenge accident, yet he is occasionally mentioned in later chapters and his fate has a lasting impact on the others, altering their entire attitude toward the game and each other. Most notably, it impresses on the surviving players that they must look out for each other because no one else is going to.
- Nerds Are Sexy: Geoff suggests that Harold would be a good match for go getter girl Courtney:Geoff: She seems like the kind of chick who might appreciate a dude with a lot upstairs.
- Running Gag: Harold's brief time on the show established his tendency to interrupt people with trivia and factoids pertaining to something brought up in conversation.
- Sacrificial Lamb: Harold meets with an accident during the first challenge, and is presumed dead.
- We Hardly Knew Ye: Harold had been on the island less than 24 hours when he was presumed killed in a challenge accident. This creates challenges in giving him a proper memorial service.
Heather, the queen bee. Also called "the dragon girl", "the Dragon Queen", etc.
- Adaptational Badass: Heather is a significantly better strategist than her canon counterpart, albeit still prone to pettiness.
- Always Someone Better: Although Heather dominates her team, she just can't seem to win an argument with Noah. She does once (sort of) by beaning him with a football, but philosophers frown on such crass methods of discourse.
- Anti-Villain: Although Heather behaves much as she did in the canon season being reimagined, the reimagining explicitly depicts her as being a basically decent person when push comes to shove. She sees herself as merely a genre-savvy player doing what she thinks the rules encourage. What makes her an anti-villain and not merely a designated villain is that she seems to enjoy her antagonistic role a little too much for a mere designated villain, not to mention the way she treats her allies.
- Dragon Lady: The Storyteller invokes this trope by using "dragon girl" (a juvenile equivalent of "dragon lady") as one of her standard epithets for Heather, who is ethnically Asian or half-Asian and who retains her canonical personality.
- False Friend: to Leshawna. Heather goes so far as to actively help Leshawna out during the Awake-a-thon, and Leshawna does not see Heather's true colors until the Diary Incident. Contrast to the canon version, where Heather's false friendship is never mentioned again after her initial reconciliation with Leshawna.
- Friendly Enemy: To Courtney. See entry under “Courtney”.
- Shipper on Deck: Heather exploits this trope in that she's only shipping Cody/Gwen, however aggressively, to manipulate Cody and annoy Gwen. She doesn't actually want them to hook up.
Izzy, the psycho hosebeast. Also called "the demented redhead", "Weird Red", etc.
- Big Eater: Presumably the high metabolism type, considering how manic she is. At the buffet preceding the Awake-a-thon, Izzy matches the much larger Owen almost bite for bite, but eventually barfs because she can't keep that much down.
- Imaginary Friend: Izzy has two (presumably) imaginary friends named Sunshine and Ravi. It is quite some time before anything is known of them beyond the fact that Sunshine is female and supposedly hot for Duncan, but it eventually comes to light that they are three-foot-tall winged pixies with a thing for Italian food.
- Pyro Maniac: Although this is a canonical trait for Izzy, the reimagining develops it more fully. She carries a large magnifying glass with her because "you never know when you might want to burn stuff", and she can wield it with great precision and artistry. At the other extreme, she's in hog heaven when an accident turns the amphitheater into an inferno.Izzy: Did you see those huge flames? And the way all those flaming embers were popping out? It was like a real Fourth of July down in the States.
Justin, The Embodiment of Manly Beauty. Also called "The Incredible Hunk" and "the uberhunk".
- Comes Great Responsibility: Unlike his canon counterpart, who is not above using his looks to manipulate people, the reimagined Justin has an "I must use my powers only for good" mindset.
- Flat Character: Although Justin gets somewhat more development and much more screen time than in the original, he remains at his core a one-joke character.
- Informed Attractiveness: Although Justin gets a lot of this in canon, it's even more pronounced in the reimagining. His and Lindsay's beauty is explicitly depicted as being virtually godlike. There’s a reason why one of Justin's standard descriptive labels is "The Embodiment of Manly Beauty". His and Lindsay's instantly falling for each other is mainly based on their amazement at finding someone else as beautiful as they.
- Satellite Love Interest: Although Justin gets a lot more to do than in the original, his only real dramatic function is to be the incredibly gorgeous Lindsay's equally gorgeous love interest.
- What Beautiful Eyes!: Justin is physically perfect in just about every way, and his nigh-hypnotic eyes are no exception. The Storyteller describes them as "beckoning sapphire wells a girl could drown in if she was not careful, and maybe even if she was".
Katie and Sadie, the BFFs. Also called “the clones” and “the Siamese Campers”.
- Beware the Nice Ones: When Chris refuses once too often to let Katie and Sadie be on the same team, they physically assault him and ruthlessly bend him to their will.
- Character Exaggeration: Katie and Sadie's pseudo hive mind is more pronounced and explicit than in the original. It serves them well more than once, most notably in the dodgeball match where they are able to coordinate without speaking or even signaling to each other.
- Conjoined Twins: The storyteller occasionally invokes this trope by referring to Katie and Sadie as "the Siamese Campers". They are not physically conjoined, but it often seems that they might as well be.
- Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Katie and Sadie show what they’re capable of when they convince Chris to let them be on the same team. They also surprise people in the dodgeball match—separately, Katie is a fairly good player and Sadie is average at best; but when they're on the court together, watch out!
- Expository Hairstyle Change: Katie and Sadie's makeovers signal a setting-induced loss of innocence and mark a transition from chiefly comic relief to more dramatic roles.
- Finish Dialogue in Unison: Katie and Sadie occasionally do this as a manifestation of their pseudo hive mind.
- Finishing Each Other's Sentences: Katie and Sadie occasionally do this as a manifestation of their pseudo hive mind. These exchanges tend to be long and elaborate, sometimes with multiple speaker changes in the same sentence.
- Girlish Pigtails: Katie and Sadie arrive on the island wearing their canonical pigtails, befitting their canonically childlike personalities. When they get makeovers that include ditching their pigtails for big hair, they look "five years older than they had the day before", according to the Storyteller. Noah further lampshades this by saying, "The kiddies have grown up." Shortly thereafter, the "grown up" Katie and Sadie get caught up in one of the story's most grimly dramatic adventures—just in time for Sadie's birthday.
- Hive Mind: The Storyteller sometimes describes Katie and Sadie in exactly those words. Cody uses different words to the same effect when Katie and Sadie are “persuading” Chris to let them be on the same team:
- Important Haircut: When Lindsay gets a new hairdo to make the best of a bad situation after her hair is severely damaged, Katie and Sadie ditch their little-girl pigtails to show solidarity with their stricken ally.
- The Power of Friendship: During the first challenge, when Chris refuses again to let them be on the same team, Katie and Sadie gang up on him and force him to reconsider.
- Wonder Twin Powers: Katie and Sadie display a realistic version in the dodgeball match. Separately, Katie is a fairly good player and Sadie is average at best; but the first time they're on the court together, they go through the Muskies like a scythe in part because they are so attuned to each other that they can coordinate without speaking. They are so fearsome that when Duncan takes over as the Muskies' coach, he names Katie as a priority target if—and only if—Sadie is also on the court.
Katie, the strong BFF. Also called "the Thin Twin".
- Big Eater: High-metabolism type. At the buffet preceding the Awake-a-thon, Katie eats so much that she would have barfed but for Justin's timely intervention. During the camping challenge, it comes to light that Katie has a "blast furnace metabolism" and eats more than Sadie, who weighs twice as much.
- Combat Pragmatist: Katie demonstrates her pragmatism in a couple of ways during the dodgeball match:
- Katie routinely throws at the groins of both male and female opponents, just as Eva does—not because she's trying to hurt them, but rather because it's a difficult spot to defend well under dodgeball rules. Katie lacks Eva's intimidation factor, though, because she's not as strong.
- When Eva challenges the Eagles to single combat, Katie prepares to throw at Eva from the crowd because, in the Storyteller’s words, "she was not learned in the customs of martial chivalry".
- Double Agent: When Katie apologizes to Gwen for helping Katie's ally Heather to humiliate her, Gwen’s price for forgiving Katie is that Katie must keep Gwen informed about what Heather is up to. Desperate for forgiveness, Katie agrees.
Sadie, the smart BFF. Also called "the butterball".
- Adaptational Badass: Although still a whale, Sadie is tough, smart and effective, and was generally none of those things in the canon. The pseudo-canonical text bios on the show's website do at least say she is supposed to be smart.
- Acrofatic: The obese Sadie is tougher and more nimble than she looks, although she does tire easily.
- Breakout Character: Sadie got a significantly expanded role because early reader response to her portrayal was so enthusiastic.
- Determinator: When Katie is dying, Sadie stops at nothing in a bid to save her.
- Dynamic Character: Sadie goes from being a typically selfish kid willing to get her hands dirty to get what she wants, to literally risking her life for a friend without a second thought.
- I Cannot Self-Terminate: When Katie is dying and Sadie is reduced to praying to save her, Sadie asks that she be allowed to die if Katie does. (The circumstances are such that this might be a simple matter to arrange.) The implication is that, however much Sadie might want to die in such a case, she would not be able to go through with suicide.
- Sacrificial Lion: Through much of the team phase, Sadie is an important character with several major scenes. She shows every sign of becoming one of the main characters. Then she's eliminated even earlier than she was in the original.
Leshawna, the homegirl. Also called "the dusky daughter".
- As Long as It Sounds Foreign: The author chose Leshawna to be the token francophone partly because her name sounds French, although he knew that it really isn't. note
- Gratuitous French: Leshawna, a Montreal native who is fully bilingual but whose first language is French, occasionally swears in French.
- Jive Turkey: When Leshawna arrives talking her jive talk as per canon, Noah lampshades it by asking whether the francophonic Leshawna learned to speak English from 1970s blaxploitation movies.
- Twofer Token Minority: Leshawna is black and francophone note , explicity described at her arrival as a "minority 'double play'".
Lindsay, the (originally) blonde bombshell. Also called "the uberbimbo".
- Adaptational Intelligence: Lindsay is a downplayed example. Although still of below-average intelligence, she is competent in the challenges when motivated and even uses her brain (as well as other body parts) to win a challenge. She remains as Literal-Minded as her canon counterpart, but attributes her (canonically) chronic name butchery to "a speech impedicure or something".
- Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass : Lindsay uses her gymnastic skills to escape serious injury when she and a teammate get into a spectacular vehicle accident during a challenge. Her teammate, who is not a gymnast, is badly hurt.
- Dumb Blonde: When the newly brunette Lindsay butchers Tyler's name, Duncan lampshades the trope by observing that "[y]ou can take out the blonde, but you can't take out the dumb".
- Gag Boobs: When Lindsay arrives on the island, the Storyteller describes her as "superabundantly endowed" and mentions her "halter top that seemed ready to fail at any moment beneath its titanic burden." When she later flashes an opponent to distract him, she is said to have "enough 'assets' to blow the show's pixellation budget in a couple of scenes."
- Genius Ditz: Lindsay is described thusly note during the phobia challenge, when she must give Sadie a bad haircut. The normally turnip-brained Lindsay is a knowledgeable and reliable source of beauty-related expertise, and uses this knowledge to exploit a loophole in her phobia test.
- Informed Attractiveness: Lindsay's beauty is explicitly depicted as being virtually godlike. Her and Justin's instantly falling for each other is mainly based on their amazement at finding someone else as beautiful as they.
- Literal-Minded: Lindsay is this way at times because she's not intelligent enough to consistently understand figures of speech.Chris: If anyone else has any ‘forbidden fruits’, now’s the time to come clean.Lindsay: I brought a pomegranate off the boat. Does that count?
Noah, the bookworm
- The Charmer: Believe it or not, Noah's actually quite good at it on those rare occasions when he cares to make the effort. When he arrives on the island, he impresses several girls by comparing them to Olympian goddesses.Noah [to Chris]: There was a pretty strong suggestion that only mortals would be competing. You’ve got half the goddesses of Olympus here. Thisnote , for example, is surely none other than Pallas Athena, goddess of war; and thisnote can only be Hecate, goddess of the night and patroness of sorcerers. And who is thisnote , if not Queen Hera? [looks at Bridgette holding her surfboard] I seem to have missed Aphrodite rising from the sea. I hope the finished episode shows that bit.Bridgette [blushing]: Silver-tongued devil.Heather [unspoken]: Nerdling knows how to spin a compliment.
- Shipper on Deck: One of Noah and Cody’s objectives in allying with each other is to get them both hooked up with the girls they are crushing on.
Owen, the big fat friendly guy. Also called "the gregarious gargantua", "the man-mountain", etc.
- Fartillery: Owen accidentally gasses two teammates during the Awake-a-thon, causing them to fall unconscious.
- Stout Strength: Although he's no slouch in the canon, the reimagined Owen is immensely strong—significantly stronger (and bigger) than his canon counterpart.
Trent, the musician. Also called "the axboy"
Tyler, the inept jock. Also called "the jock of all trades" and "Red Jock".
- Adaptational Badass: Tyler is a downplayed example. The canon version fails at every athletic endeavor he attempts, but the reimagined version is an excellent sprinter and extremely strong. He retains his main canonical flaw of poor coordination, though.
- Amazon Chaser : A certain strong and athletic girl catches Tyler's eye early on, and he eventually begins courting her. When this comes to light, Duncan notes that Tyler has a taste for amazons.
- Made of Iron : As in canon, but Duncan also cites Tyler's resilience as one reason why he's a suitable boyfriend for Eva. Tyler is sturdy enough to take whatever Eva dishes out if he gets on her bad side.
- Master of None: Invoked. One of Tyler's standard epithets is "the jock of all trades", an undisguised play on "jack of all trades". Because he is a generally inept jock, as per canon, this description strongly suggests the unspoken part of the phrase - "master of none".
Brett, the TDI:Next Gen contestant-to-be
- Disappeared Dad: Brett's mother has "neither spouse nor partner" according to the chapter-opening boilerplate. The reason why isn't revealed until near the end.
- The Watson: Brett asks a lot of questions that readers might be expected to ask, and the justification for the Storyteller's occasional aside comments is that they are directed to her son. Brett's questions also drive the Greek Chorus commentary between episodes.
Brett's Mother, the former TDI contestant
- Expy: From Sharazad (Scheherezade) of Thousand and One Nights fame.
- No Name Given: Brett’s mother is identified as The Storyteller” in the cast listing and simply as “Brett’s mother” in the story itself. She does reveal in the prologue that she had been a contestant on the first season of Total Drama Island, and that she "did pretty well, but didn't win". The author has stated that her identity will be revealed near the end, but that many or even most readers may have it figured out well before then, thanks to clues sprinkled throughout the story.
- The Storyteller: The frame story consists of Brett's mother telling about her experience on Total Drama Island, in a series of interlinked stories.
- That Man Is Dead: When Brett asks his mother why she refers to herself in the third person when telling her tale, she replies, "I was a different person then. You made me grow up before my time." She also cites this as part of the reason that she started going by her (unrevealed) middle name when she entered college.
- Third-Person Person: Although Brett's mother refers to herself in the normal first-person in the frame story, she refers to herself exclusively in third person when telling the main story. When Brett asks why she does this, she explains that (a) she was a different person then; and (b) she simply thinks that it works better for the narrative because there are many scenes where she was not present. The real reason, of course, is to conceal her identity from the reader.
Dr. Leonard Kelley, a visiting physician
- Expy: Dr. Leonard Kelley is based on the Enterprise's Chief Medical Officer from the original Star Trek. Dr. Kelley's first name is that of the character (Leonard McCoy) and his last name is that of the actor (DeForest Kelley).
Sunshine, Izzy's (presumably) Imaginary Friend
- Gossipy Hen: The contestants have an In-Joke wherein they hide information sources by saying "Sunshine told me" in the same way that an angry mother might say to her misbehaving child, “a little bird told me”. This has the side effect of painting Sunshine as an incorrigible gossip. The girl who created the Sunshine character did fanarts about this.
- Imaginary Friend: Among the contestants, only Izzy can see or converse with Sunshine. It eventually comes to light that the mystical intern Dawn can also see Sunshine, but whether Dawn perceives Sunshine as a distinct being or merely as a recognizable feature of Izzy's aura remains ambiguous.
- Invisible to Normals: Given that Sunshine's very existence is in question, it's hardly surprising that most of the contestants and staff can't see her. The magically gifted Dawn can see her, but it's ambiguous whether Dawn perceives Sunshine as a separate entity or merely as a distinctive feature of Izzy's aura.
- Perverse Sexual Lust: Inverted with Sunshine and Duncan, in that the in-universe fictional character is the one reportedly doing the lusting.
- Stalker with a Crush: When Izzy talks to Sunshine, she (Izzy) says certain things implying that Sunshine is stalking and crushing on Duncan.