Characters / Brain Dead 13

Lance Galahad
The computer fixit who was tricked by Dr. Neurosis into fixing the computer. All doesn't go well when Lance calls the Mad Scientist "average", and now he's on the run from the Big Bad's minion Fritz as he finds a way to the doc himself. Lance is an avid video game junkie, and a bit of a smart mouth.

Voiced by Riccardo Durante.

  • Air Guitar: Lance does this in a victory pose after defeating Dr. Neurosis and watching his lair explode.
  • "Awesome McCool" Name: Anyone named Lance Galahad is destined for greatness.
  • Badass Arm-Fold: Lance makes a pose like this in resurrection scenes and in the final confrontation, showing that he is brave in the face of certain death.
  • Badass Normal: He's fighting against a bunch of monsters, witches, vampires, and even against a giant statue! Badass Normal indeed!
  • Blowing a Raspberry: While taunting Moose from the top of the basketball net:
    Lance: [shouts] Hey, looking for me, stitch-lips? [blows a raspberry with his tongue]
    • This also occurs in one death scene in the acid fountain when he dodges the spray of acid and acts all "Missed me!" as he blows a raspberry... before another spray of acid hits his face.
  • Bound and Gagged: Actually, more "gagged" than "bound", at Vivi's salon. And he will remain that way until you choose the facial.
  • Catchphrase: "Hiya, pal."
  • Deadly Dodging: How he manages to defeat both the twin witches and Neurosis and Fritz.
  • Dies Wide Open: In some of the death scenes.
  • Distracted by the Sexy: Lance falls victim to this... but only for a short while, as Vivi stuffs his mouth with his baseball cap right after seducing him.
  • Distressed Dude: When he is captured by Vivi for use in a painful "makeover".
  • Four-Fingered Hands: Lance has them by example, along with other characters.
  • Guile Hero: He's smarter than pretty much everyone in the castle. Most of the boss fights involve Lance running away while outwitting his enemies with quick thinking.
  • Kid Hero: Lance can be this, since it is implied that he is in his teens, around 16 or 17 years old at the most.
  • Long-Haired Pretty Boy: Lance Galahad, oh so much.
  • Loud Gulp: When Lance is fighting the ghosts.
  • Meaningful Name: Lance's last name, Galahad, has an English origin that means "pure, noble and selfless", and named after one of King Arthur's Knights of the Round Table.
  • Mooning: One of Lance's cool dance moves in the final confrontation. Except that his hairy butt is just... squicky.
  • Mr. Fixit: In the intro. Unfortunately, this may not end well...
  • Never Bareheaded: Averted in Vivi's Salon, when Vivi grabs Lance's baseball cap and uses it as a gag to ensure that he can't scream during the painful "makeover".
    • Also averted in some death scenes.
  • Nice Hat
  • Oh, Crap!: Lance gets this look in the intro when he discovers that he has put Neurosis' "rage" in our hero's "average" and that Fritz is ordered to kill him for calling the mad scientist "average".
  • One-Hit-Point Wonder: When it comes to Family Unfriendly Deaths, Lance fits this trope down to a T.
  • Power Walk: Lance has a pretty badass one when entering Dr. Neurosis's quarters.
  • Significant Green-Eyed Redhead
  • "Take That!" Kiss: Lance makes one, coupled with a Badass Arm-Fold, to show Fritz that he is not afraid and to dare him to give it all he's got, though our hero is still brave in the face of certain death.
  • Tired of Running: In the final confrontation with Dr. Neurosis, Lance is faced by Fritz, who wants to unleash Trigger Happy terror upon him by unloading every weapon he's got. Of course, Lance can have a choice of running away again by pressing right first or by pressing left twice, but that would only waste more time in endless chasing. The solution? Lance has to move left once, and then right, in order to show Fritz and Neurosis that our hero is tired of running away, then makes a Badass Arm-Fold and a "Take That!" Kiss to show that he is not afraid and is ready for one more challenge that awaits him.
  • Totally Radical
  • Traumatic Haircut/Dangerously Close Shave: In one death scene, Vivi gives him one of the "Off with His Head!" variety, when she uses the Sinister Scythe to chop off his long red hair and also his head.
  • The Trickster
  • A Winner Is You: After watching the explosion in Dr. Neurosis' castle, Lance says, "Cool! Back to work!" then makes an Air Guitar of victory and drives away in his truck.
  • You Have Outlived Your Usefulness: Half the reason why Neurosis wants Lance dead. The other half being that Lance called Neurosis an "average mad scientist".

Dr. Nero Neurosis
A gigantic brain who was planning on taking over the world. However, during the beginning of the game, the computer breaks down, so he 'hires' Lance to fix it. When he is to get rid of Lance, he calls the Mad Scientist "average", prompting him to command Fritz to finish him off. When Lance escapes, he awaits as Lance confronts him. As soon as he does, he tricks Fritz into firing him, then causes Fritz to fall into Neurosis' tank, and Lance "flushes" the two from one of the controls.

Voiced by Dave Quesnelle.

Fritz is a hunchbacked little imp with hooks for hands, who carries an array of deadly gadgets that he uses to kill Lance. His apparent lack of brains doesn't prevent him from being a lethal adversary. Lance is pursued by him throughout the game. He is Dr. Neurosis' "pet" and diligently follows all orders given to him.

Voiced by Joe Giampapa, though Fritz doesn't speak in any languages at all, but only in grunts and gibberish.

Vivi is a curvaceous, vampiric vixen with a Southern belle accent who runs a "funeral salon". It is generally an excuse for her to dismember or suck the blood of unwary or unwilling patrons like Lance.

Voiced by June Brown.

A big, dumb, Frankenstein's Monster-like giant, who spouts various sports phrases and wields a baseball bat and a football.

Voiced by Blayne Burnside.