Not Sherlock Holmes
Whenever you’re colorblind.
Why did the road cross the chicken?
“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”
Oh Captain!~
Because a construction crew accidentally paved over the chicken, killing it.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Hey how you doing well I'm doing just fine I lied I'm dying inside
my current job
People dehumanized to the point of only being named numbers are rather prone to paranoia. And that's why we need prison reform.
A man walks into a bar, notices three pieces of raw beef hanging from the ceiling...
The possum is a potential perpetrator; he did place possum poo in the plum pot.
And gets back to work.
Can I tell a story regarding my cousin named Tim?
Sweet.
Timothy's boyfriend (Bradly) abandoned him. We saw betrayal, pain ... crying! He misses Brad now but...
Edited by Playing_with_boy on Dec 1st 2018 at 11:03:30 AM
AKA Uqau - Geek of All Trades
...he hopes he is doing well in his new life.
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walk into a bar. The Englishman says...
plant
"Hey, do you have change for a dollar?"
How do you confuse a blonde woman?
" I'm the princess! Everyone has to do what I say!"
The Ice Queen
Say the same sort of thing that would confuse any person. Like pretending to speak a foreign language when you're really just saying gibberish.
Why couldn't The Flash get a girlfriend?
A Gentleman Pirate
His crippling social anxiety.
Why did my mom cross the road?
It’s not about the desti-something, it’s about the whatever.
The Unknown Pleasure they were talking about
So she could yell at some random dick
How many people does it take to break a fence?
Edited by Risdio51 on Aug 18th 2020 at 2:54:10 PM
I can't say goodbye to yesterday…
Title
None. That’s how my mom died. She tried to break our fence.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Ok bitch it's Weezer and it's Weezy
Worry
Presumably it was looking for food.
What's the difference between a parasite and a lawyer?
"I guess I just don't want you to feel like you're nothing. I don't want anybody to feel like that."
Semain Calm
One causes disease in its host, and one of them represents a client in a court of law.
Why are apples yellow?
Edited by MadameButterflyKnife on Aug 18th 2020 at 4:13:01 AM
and the public won't dwell on my transmission cause it wasn't televised.
82123
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
x2 One is a biological agent that attaches itself to someone or something to sustain its own life, the victim's well-being be damned. The other might make you sign a non-disclosure agreement or something, I dunno.
Because an accidental breed of trees mutated one time and people noticed that those particular apples were sweet, birthing the Golden Delicious as a cultivar.
Why does a 23-year-old man still have a Batman alarm clock on his nightstand?
Edited by Tre on Aug 18th 2020 at 4:16:17 AM
oh, that's why I need this binary mind // ⌘
I’m a space pirate, give me your moon rocks.
He likes Batman.
What did the health inspector say after watching an r-rated movie?
Forum signature.
"Good film."
My wife, a lawyer, and an English teacher walk into a bar. The English teacher orders a mocktail. My wife orders a milkshake. And the lawyer...
Worry
That it was good and he hopes that there's more sequels.
also a milkshake.
Who let the dogs out?
Edited by Superjohn on Aug 18th 2020 at 3:19:33 AM
"I guess I just don't want you to feel like you're nothing. I don't want anybody to feel like that."
The Unknown Pleasure they were talking about
The dog keeper
How many pages are in the book of comedy?
I can't say goodbye to yesterday…
82123
418.
Why would someone go to Best Buy to buy an Xbox game if all they have is a PlayStation?
oh, that's why I need this binary mind // ⌘
Title
1027 exactly.
For their cousin or nephew, who has an Xbox as a gift.
What did the pirate say at the bar?
Edited by DookieIdiotNimrod on Aug 18th 2020 at 1:27:52 AM
Ok bitch it's Weezer and it's Weezy
The Unknown Pleasure they were talking about
“Yaarrrrrr alcohol...”
Why did the copy of Persona 5 Royal cross the street?
I can't say goodbye to yesterday…
Worry
Because someone threw it.
How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Edited by Superjohn on Aug 18th 2020 at 3:32:22 AM
"I guess I just don't want you to feel like you're nothing. I don't want anybody to feel like that."
The Ice Queen
Just one. He might ask a buddy of his to get a stool for him to stand on if he's short, but he's a grown man and is perfectly capable of changing a lightbulb on his own.
Why couldn't the eleven-year-old get into the pirate movie?
82123
It was the third one in the series and his mother remembered him having nightmares after watching Dead Man’s Chest. Both of ‘em were rated PG-13.
Knock knock.
Edited by Tre on Aug 18th 2020 at 6:10:36 AM
oh, that's why I need this binary mind // ⌘
sick down from the bones to the other side
[opens the door]
what did the buffalo say to his son when he went to college? A plague has consumed the town, summoning Pestilence, Horseman of the Apocalypse!
The bartender screams and faints. He will later endure years of therapy to recover from the shock.
When do you stop at green and go at red?
"Humans and robots living together in harmony and equality. That was my ultimate wish."