Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted. It isn't but you do get the apartment..... dropped on your head.

I wish for rof hswi I

The genie interprets your wish as "I wish for a raw fishy." You are given a raw, smelly fish.

I wish I was a badass fighter pilot.

Sure! You're a kamikaze pilot.

I wish trailers wouldn't spoil their big twists. Looking at you, Terminator 2 and Rise of Skywalker!

Granted. Each movie trailer now consists solely of irrelevant footage from other films.

I wish I always had enough money for everything I want and need.

Granted. A stack of money falls on your head, and you are buried alive in your own cash.

I wish for more genies.

They're all a thousand times worse than your original genie.

I wish the worst offenders of Disney Death stayed dead.

Bump

I wish the worst offenders of Disney Death stayed dead.

Granted - the Disney team creates even worse characters to replace them.

I wish everyone was Scottish and liked Doctor Who......

Granted. The entire world's population gets crammed into Scotland. It's not pretty.

I wish for a delicious cake.

Granted. It's poisonous, but delicious.

I wish this loose tooth would just fall out already.

Granted. Your tooth falls, tearing out all your gums along with them. You die choking on your own blood.^note someone please tell me this is possible

I wish I could stop procrastinating.

You become a workaholic who has to get everything done as quickly as possible, and die of a heart attack in less than a year.

I wish to legally own a decommissioned war tank in my back yard, one that can't be fired or otherwise used against me.

I said legally own.

Edited by DelphineTheDelphox on Sep 21st 2019 at 11:35:30 AM

Granted. The Tank is de-mil'ed (it's gun can't fire) but the city and the homeowner's association take you to court in a Frivolous Lawsuit and now you have to sell the tank to cover the legal costs.

I wish catgirls were real....

Granted. Unfortunately, you develop a cat hair allergy.

I wish more people got the references I make.

Granted. From now on you only ever make references to Prequel memes

I wish someone else would make breakfast for me

Yukako will happily make your breakfast!

I wish I (and only myself) could legally enjoy any amusement park for free.

Granted. The first time you visit one, you slip on a plastic bag at the entrance and immediately break your neck.

I wish I could think of more original humour.

Granted. It's so original nobody else can understand it.

I wish to lack social anxiety.

^ Say no more fam. *BANG*

I wish for ^&JSHKB Pnbkjas%121%, and exactly that.

Granted, whatever that is causes a mass extinction.

I wish to read my books.

Granted, but the only books you own are the works of Ayn Rand.

I wish for a delicious, properly-cooked, unadulterated chocolate cake that does not contain anything poisonous, toxic, or pathogenic, and which also does not contain any pathogens, dead animals, parts of dead animals, live animals, parts of live animals, or anything to which I am allergic, or anything solid enough to chip or crack my teeth, which fits comfortably on a table but is big enough to share, and was not obtained illegally, and which is of the right level of moistness for such a cake, said moistness coming only from appropriate ingredients used in the cooking and not from anything poured on afterwards, and which does not contain any ingredients that I would consider inappropriate for a chocolate cake prior to making this wish.

Granted - it's in a glass box that can't be normally opened. Have fun!

I wish for an official crossover between Danganronpa and Ace Attorney, that is at a good standard of writing, graphic design, character design, soundtrack, and for it to be localised for British English, available on all currently manufactured consoles, as well as Windows and Linux operating systems.

Granted. Unfortunately, it's the most expensive game ever, with only billionaires being able to afford it.

I wish I had God-like powers without having to deal with any responsibilities.

Granted. Good luck with my job, sucker!

I wish Christmas stuff wasn’t sold three months early.

Granted. It's sold six months early instead.

I wish for a fountain of youth.