Corrupt-a-wish.

granted. it all tastes like cardboard.

i wish i had a functional copy of Skate 3 for the PS3.

Edited by razorrozar7 on Aug 28th 2019 at 11:08:10 AM

Wish Granted! But it takes up the rest of the space on your PS 3 and EA arrests you for pirating their game

I wish I could play Dwarf Fortress

Granted, but the audio and visuals are so corrupted the game is unplayable.

I wish there was no Steven Universe movie.

Granted. In a world where there is no Steven Universe, there's no movie to make of his adventures. "Mommy? What's a 'Crystal Gem'?"

I wish to become a Toon, immune to getting dipped or permanently erased.

Granted. You're also shunned by human society. And frequently get anvils dropped on your head.

I wish Arrow hadn't wasted so many opportunities with their rendition of Huntress and actually made her a recurring character with a compelling arc.

Edited by Spottedleaf on Aug 28th 2019 at 5:03:55 AM

Granted. All the character development in the series goes to Huntress, leading to flat characterization for everyone else.

I wish for a really awesome superpower along with all the required secondary powers.

Granted. You now have some sweet super-speed that's safe and convenient to use. Unfortunately, your family's been killed for your origin story, a variety of ultra-powerful villains are now after you, and anyone who looks like a love interest to you ends up fridged.

I wish my favourite threads would stop dying.

granted. they instead get permanently derailed and then closed by mods.

i wish i was better at staying in touch with my friends.

Granted you always know where you friends are and what they are thinking...all the time. Have fun!

I wish I had inter-dimensional cable...

Granted, but all of the channels except Earth's come back as static.

I wish I could actually beat the original Super Mario Bros.

All you do is press a single button which ends the game, completely sucking the fun out of it.

I wish to write the scariest story ever.

Granted. You're too scared of it to publish it, so all it does is haunt your nightmares for the rest of your life.

I wish to save the world.

Granted. You die in the process, some other random guy takes credit for it, and after that no one ever knows who you were or what you did.

I wish to legally own a flamethrower.

Granted. You lose it on the bus

I wish for a brand new cellphone

Granted, but you live in an area without cell phone towers, giving you a nice-looking brick with numbers on it.

I wish God was one of us.

Edited by WillyFourEyes on Aug 31st 2019 at 4:58:43 AM

Granted. Hope you're fine with God screwing around on TVT and neglecting His heavenly duties.

I wish for a sandwich.

Edited by IchigoMontoya on Aug 31st 2019 at 2:07:38 AM

Granted. It's moldy, soggy and thoroughly unappetizing.

I wish for a pet unicorn.

It gets overprotective of you and gouges anyone who even looks in your direction until it gets put down and you have to pay a massive fine.

I wish to naturally, painlessly, and happily pass away of old age after a long, full, and satisfying life with no regrets.

Granted, but no one realizes that you died because no one deemed it necessary to write an obituary in the local paper.

I wish I was "the 1%" (either of "Screw the Rules, I Have Money!" or "Screw the Rules, I Have a Motorcycle!" type people; take your pick).

Granted. However, in 2020 Bernie Sanders becomes Glorious Leader of the American Free State and the flag loses the blue and white. Future not looking too bright, huh?

I wish I could start writing again.

Granted, your writing is So Bad, It's Good.

I wish to exercise.

Granted. You'll get plenty of exercise running from a pack of hungry wolves.

I wish I could fly.

Granted. You're turned into a fly

I wish to be skilled at drawing

Granted. You are extremely skilled at drawing potatoes, which look completely real. Everything else you draw is completely unrecognizable.

I wish for gorgeous silver hair, no aging required.

Granted. You are now an immortal being with hair of fine silver wire. If you're not careful you'll cut yourself. Your enemies are cults who view you as a demon, the Men In Black who want to dissect you and the National Wire Company who wants you as Human Resources.

I wish I have a chocolate ice cream sandwich.