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Nope, the only person who used me for their goals was relatively open about it. They were also very open about what would happen if I didn’t help. Here’s a hint for who it was. His name starts with Y.

Ever been inside a dungeon? As in the type with a boss inside, not the type where people get locked up.

Not yet, but we eventually will!

It's my turn to ask TNA something! What kind of magic do you possess or otherwise know of?

The fuck do you mean, "with a boss inside"? Like my own boss? A mafia boss, or some shit? Why would they be in a dungeon?

I don't believe in magic. It's unscientific.

I'm from the year 1970, what's the future like?

Edited by TheWhiteWolf on Feb 25th 2019 at 11:52:06 AM

I don’t really know when I am relative to you, but my current world is shit. The whole surface got invaded by this lizard guy and he killed almost everyone.

What’s the weirdest creature you’ve ever seen?

Not good. Global catastrophe in 2030, killed a lot of people. World War III in 2045, also killed a lot of people. The end result is that a big chunk of the world is hostile to human life thanks to radiation and ELID creatures. It's 2062 now and things are looking a bit better, for once. You have dolls — intelligent robots, basically — filling menial roles, PMCs working to reclaim and protect habitable zones, I even heard rumors about peace talks between the UN and Soviet union.

Type-4 ELID infectee. I've only seen the pictures, but "jumbled mass of flesh" is the best description I've got. Reports said that it's also immune to small-arms and can tear armored vehicles apart.

So, what do you think of us military types?

Edited by ArmoredFury on Feb 26th 2019 at 12:07:13 AM

I think you're amazing! Although, I'd rather stick to becoming an adventurer and a gladiator.

My family has actually gotten into military affairs in the past up to and including battle. I can relate to your type a fair bit.

TNA, who is the strongest fighter that you know of? We would love to spar with him!

Calamitas is the most powerful I know that I think you’d enjoy battling. She’s a lot like you two. The only one stronger than her is Yharim, and nobody likes him. He’ll kill you and then I’ll have to deal with your souls for the rest of eternity.

What kind of weapon do you prefer?

Bombs!

Is it pizza time?

Edited by HyperReal on Feb 26th 2019 at 12:40:26 PM

It is now. I also didn't authorize that purchase, Nita.

Have any supernatural problems you want explained? I need some extra cash.

Nope. I can figure out my own problems, thank you very much. Also I have zero money so it’s not like I could pay you anyway.

Opinions of giant worms?

Giant worms! Yes! I know giant worms. They're freaky, but they're simple minded when you get to it. Despite their alien looks, they're no different from your average beast and are easily slain!

... Not that I've... actually slain any.

Do you have a favorite beast?

Beast as in the esohuman or beast as in animal? I...tolerate a certain district attorney enough, but I've always been partial to hawks. Red-tailed ones, otherwise my wife will kill me.

I will put this more bluntly; do you have any tips for posing menacingly, but not quite evilly? I've been told I need to be more, ahem, intimidating for a portrait. I think it's ridiculous, but the painter doesn't.

Edited by Leliel on Feb 27th 2019 at 1:00:34 PM

If you can fly, do it. It always makes you look better.

Try using an attack during the picture.

Ooh, that’s nice. Do that. Definitely absolutely do that.

You haven’t done one, Slime. Why don’t you ask a question?

Alright. What’s everyday life like in your world?

Why yes, I do! I recommend leaning forward, just slightly, resting your hands on something to either side of you—extra points if it's a scary-looking object or your loyal warriors/defeated enemies.

For me? Pleasant but sometimes stressful. I rise, bathe in buttermilk, make my toilette, and then attend to the business of the day, sometimes share a meeting with a contact or...well, ahem, hold court...so many laws to pass...

I've been told to be..."less high-handed" in my speeches in the more rural parts of the kingdom. Any tips on that? Casually speaking, I mean.

Edited by TheGreatUnknown on Feb 27th 2019 at 4:31:26 AM

Well, personally? My advice would be to explain it in terms that are easy to understand, but not to the point of making your subjects feel like they're being talked down to. It can be a tricky balance to navigate, for sure, and I'm not a very social person, so I don't know how much I can help.

I'm worried that my new team mates, especially Dinah, don't trust me. How can I reassure them that I really am on their side?

Just don’t do anything evil. Trust me, it takes time to gain others’ respect. You seem like a nice enough person, so it shouldn’t be too hard.

Pretty much what she said.

Who’s the one person you know will always be there for you?

I will always have Anna-san for sword training in the afternoon, but...

...Charlotte-san is always beside me through most of the day.

That's true. I mean, we're roommates; so that's only natural.

Besides, do you really think I would let you go so easily? Come here, you! (proceeds to hug)

Stop! Again, that's too tight!

...and you're just too cute, desu wa~!

So TNA, do you someone else who's so cute, you just can't help yourself?

That's easy. My infant twins.

As a philosophical question, what would you give up for personal power? And what kind of power would you give it up for?

I'd give up the entirety of Hell just because I could. Power would just be the icing on the cake. While I'm at it, I'd also sacrifice Yharim. If I wanted power... maybe teleportation? Could be fun.

I think he means something important to you.

If it's important to me, I'm not giving it up.

I can't think of anything I'd be willing to lose for power. I'd give up the Corruption if I could get the power to kill Yharim, but I think pretty much anyone would do that.

You're absolutely right, nobody likes Yharim. The only thing I wouldn't sacrifice to kill him is you. Or the ocean. It's nice and I feel like making it vanish would be kind of a dick move toward Calamitas.

Yeah, I'd hate to destroy it after all the work she went through filling it back up.

Would you hug Polter?

NO! Ask a different question, seriously. I'm not letting anyone do that. Well, except you, but you're the exception.

Fine. How difficult of a boss fight do you consider yourself?

Much better.

I would hope I'm strong enough to be able to put up a challenge. Even without transforming into a dragon.

If you had a castle of your own, how would you decorate it?

With all the cool magic stuff I've found. I'd probably put a Profaned Core on the wall.

Corruption, Crimson, or Hallow? Also, would you want to live in any of them?

Eh? What are those?

Do you have a favourite food?

Not really. Right now I'm kinda craving noodles, though.

Which is cuter, cats or birds?

Ugh, I cannot decide!

Both could be considered "cuter" in their own sense.

What's your favorite type of food?

Fish and chips. I find it tastes better than American hamburgers when eating on the go.

If you have a lover, how did you meet?