Foil the above poster's eeeevil plan.

I swap your transmisions with Head-on commercials.

I will burn the Sun!

edited 27th Aug '12 7:23:57 PM by Elbruno

I don't need to do anything. Your foolish attempt to burn an already-flaming object burns you instead, and you float forever in space with no medical help and soon die from oxygen depletion.

I have the Death Note, and all of the world is in it!

Heh. I swapped that out for the Deaf Note a while back. Now none of the world can hear, but at least we're all alive.

I covered the world in pizza sauce to trick people into eating the world.

I added denatonium, the most bitter substance known to man, to the pizza sauce. Now no one will want even lick it!

I release computer virus that spreads itself via email contacts list right before it deletes System32! The mainstream that is Microsoft shall die!

edited 2nd Sep '12 6:50:00 AM by ArgentumUranium

Easy, I blow up all e-mail hosters' (or however you call them) servers. No e-mail accounts = No virus, you can thank me later.

I have a totally unrelated plan to destroy all e-mail accounts in the world using definitely non-explosive material.

I steal the email hoster's servers and hide them, then sabotage the explosives to go off the moment they're placed.

I make a lone cookie so delicious that people would fight to the death for it, then say that the last person left in the universe, and only them, gets to eat it.

I destroy the cookie in its entirety before the bloodbath begins.

I launch a nuclear missile on China in hopes to start a third World War.

I change the aim of the nuke at the last moment by getting in a plane and lassoing it, causing it to twist aside and miss.

I create hundreds of billions of tiny, toilet paper-eating insects that will destroy the world toilet paper supply, then plan to sell my secretly dangerous alternative.

I design a toxin specifically designed to kill of all of your toilet-paper-eating insects without harming any people.

I build an army of giant robots programmed to follow my every command.

edited 8th Sep '12 3:59:35 PM by Kossmeister

Easy. I duct-tape your mouth shut, then tie you up while the robots are broken down.

I create a time bomb of incredible strength, dig a hole straight into the core of the planet, then throw the bomb in.

I stop time around the bomb to keep it from blowing up.

I cool the outer core of the Earth, dissipating the magnetic field protecting the Earth from radiation.

It takes too much effort to cool the entire earth, and your machine breaks before your plan gets off the ground.

I plan to destroy all cities with stock buildings, thus ruining the entire stock exchange. Eventually, because of the ensuing chaos, countries will start attacking each other. My company will come out on top due to selling weapons.

I secretly build stock buildings in other cities, thus preventing the stock exchange from collapsing.

I use tractor beams to attract meteors to the Earth, destroying all major capitol cities.

Tractors beams? You mean these?

-activates both beams on the opposite sides of Vamp-

I SHALL RUN A XANATOS GAMBIT AND THROW HALF A TON OF IRON! INTO! THE SUN!

I bribe a US senator to limit the privatisation of space travel. You can't get your iron off Earth, let alone the sun.

I spray all the duct tape with all the WD40, making them both useless.

I cast Destoroyah's Diabolical Diarrhoea over it, essentially turning the ruined goods into WD40 duct tape that both sticks and un-sticks at the same time, then secure the patent and get filthy rich.

I will dance naked in front of a web cam and have the NSA send the footage to all of you.

edited 12th Jul '13 7:01:53 AM by TAPETRVE

Good luck doing that while you are cursed to be Walking Techbane!

I SHALL POKE THE CONSCIOUSNESS OF THE UUUUUNNNIIIIIVVVEEEERRRSSSEEEE! WITH PURE! WRONG-NESS!

The universe already knows. The universe sends an angry mob to kill you.

I will steal all the money possible from the International Monetary Fund.

I'll just steal your car.

I buy the world.

I put in a court order to freeze your assets because you were somehow implicated in terrorism. "Somehow".

I run for election.

I make sure Rand Paul wins the election.

I plan to use a superweapon to wipe out all of humanity, save for a select few.

Superweapon? You mean this thing that I just unplugged?

I'm going to resurrect ALL THE THREADS!

-kills Omega before he can do so-

I'm going to kidnap someone you love and hold them ransom for all your money.

edited 21st Sep '13 7:53:29 PM by MurkyMuse

Ha! I love no one.

I'm going to steal all of the cookies from ALL of the cookie jars!

~devours all the cookies first~

I'm unleashing Fluffy the Terrible out on the town.

edited 21st Sep '13 7:56:47 PM by terlwyth