Warp That Aesop / Pirates of the Caribbean

• Pirates are just misunderstood Woobies who only long for anarchy freedom and take their Wangst out on everyone else because they have no other outlet for it.
• If you are unwilling to become an outlaw, you deserve to die.
• If you're a goddess, imprisoned in human form a long time ago by the lover you betrayed, it's perfectly acceptable to take your anger out on an unrelated bunch of people — even if they are more than willing to free you and desperately in need of your help. Especially if they're fighting against the same guy who helped seal you up.
  • You expect otherwise from a deity with a Greek name?
  • If you betray your lover, just tell them that it's your nature and that they wouldn't love you if you were different.

• If you knowingly sell one of your best friends into 100 years of servitude and then try to do to the same to 99 innocent strangers and the original friend’s fiancée kills you for it, you’re the innocent victim.
• Your friends will all betray you the second they get their chance. Despite this, you should remain friends with them. You'll all end up on the same team eventually.
• Its perfectly okay to borderline hate someone that even vaguely annoys you or doesn't share the same moral values as you (in fact you should dislike them even more because of it). In fact you would be perceived as a pillar of virtue if you would go as far to let them die.
• If you work for someone who kills someone without you knowing about it, you're just as bad as they are and can only redeem yourself by sacrificing yourself.
• It doesn't matter if it's a man-eating sea monster, if its beautiful there must be some good in it.
• Sometimes you should help a criminal because a good man can be at odds with the law (technically true but very dangerous).

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