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I'm a troper in his 30s from Washington State. Loves video games, science fiction, mysteries, figuring out how stuff works and chocolate. Is probably best known for that one Star Trek Online foundry mission with the Fire-breathing Epohhs.

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     Rules of the Caravan Wastes 
  • 1. Patrolling the Mojave will make you wish for a Nuclear Winter. No exceptions.
  • 2. Double Tap
  • 3. When going into Deathclaw Territory, bring heavy weapons
  • 4. Arcade Lies, Badly.
  • 5. 5.56 is just 7.62 set to stun.
    • 5A Even stun has valid applications. -pvtnum11
  • 6. Beware of BIIIIIG MOUNTAIN!
  • 7. Don't fuck with the man who delivers your mail.
  • 8. Be careful when dating male ghouls, their knees are weak and their flesh is decayed.
  • 9. Whiskey makes a delicious anitseptic.
    • 9A. Vodka makes a horrid-tasting antiseptic, cleans and degreases parts, removes Duct Tape residue and takes out the bloodstains from your clothes. -pvtnum11
  • 10. You can never have too much ammo.
    • 10A. You CAN have too much explosives. -pvtnum11
  • 11. Make sure you can draw faster than your enemy.
  • 12. NCR may be boring but they have an education system when you want to settle down and have kids.
  • 13. Don't enslave my friends.
  • 14. Don't fuck over my friends.
  • 15. Don't fuck my friends with out their permission.
  • 16. Don't feed the Yao Guai.
    • 16A. Ammunition is not considered feed, so be liberal in applying it. -pvtnum11
  • 17. Don't feed the Yaoi Fangirls. Turn their fists into gauntlets.
  • 18. Your pistol is just your weapon to get back to your rifle, USUALLY.
  • 19. Energy Weapons may be cool, but projectile ammo is more common.
  • 20. Explosives are good. Just know how to use 'em.
  • 21. Wear a rubber, Pennicillin is rare in the wasteland.
  • 22. Befriend people from Vault City. They can replace limbs.
  • 23. Reading is good for you. You might learn something useful.
  • 24. Travel in groups. The wasteland can kill solo wanderers.
  • 25. Knowledge is power.
  • 26. Resist the urge to shoot someone for being annoying. They may have well connected friends.
  • 27. Raiders accept no surrenders.
  • 28. Geckos may be cute. They are also lethal.
  • 29. If it breathes fire, you want nothing to do with it.
  • 30. The exception to rule 29 is if its a robot and you control it OR its a weapon and you OWN it.
  • 31. Don't travel the wastes naked. Geckos will get you. Also horny raiders. - Mukora & Sirboulevard
  • 32. If you see a Cazadore: RUN!!!
    • 32a. If you can't run, SHOOT IT IN THE WINGS!!! -Rmctagg09
  • 33. Remember that the Legion consists primarily of teenagers. Kids can be evil.
  • 34. If it existed pre-war there was porn of it, possibly not now. If it exists post-war there is porn of it. Check Westside pawnshop.
  • 35. Take Boone. - Spirit
  • 36. When dealing with House, remember. A Man Chooses. - Spirit
  • 37. Don't believe the name, that Blind Deathclaw can see you and it wants to eat you. - Spirit
  • 38: The Colorado has border control on the Arizona side. It's called DEATHCLAWS. -Rmctagg09
  • 39: Deathclaws, mercifully, cannot swim. -Rmctagg09
  • 40: Don't bother trying to kill the dork in a blue jumpsuit. -Eternal Noob
  • 41. The Surgeon General has determined that Sneaking has been proven to prolong your lifespan. -pvtnum11
  • 42. The Surgeon General strongly cautions against smoking centuries-old cigarettes. -pvtnum11
  • 43. Armor classes can be categorized thusly: -Spirit
    • Light Armor: I need to get somewhere and get there fast!
    • Medium Armor: I don't have Heavy Armor. Alternatively: Hi, I'm an NCR Ranger. Prepare to die.
    • Heavy Armor: I AM BULLETPROOF!
    • Power Armor: I am become Death, destroyer of worlds.

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