Jerry goes out to dinner with Kramer and his girlfriend Leslie, a fashion designer who happens to be a low-talker. While talking with her, Jerry inadvertently agrees to wear a puffy pirate shirt she designed on his appearance for The Today Show - which was to promote a charity event organized by a Benefit Committee that Elaine was a member of and that was to be hosted by him. George begins a career as a hand model.
Tropes:
- As Himself: Bryant Gumbel as host of The Today Show, who makes fun of Jerry's shirt.
- Career-Ending Injury:
- George's hand-modeling career comes to an end when he makes fun of the puffy shirt, unaware Leslie was behind him, when she shoves him, causing him to stumble onto an iron, which makes contact with his hands.
- Earlier on, after a photo session, the photographer talks with George about Ray McKigney, who had nice hands just like George. Unfortunately, he was a little too in love with his hands, and one day, his hand got locked in a position which distorted his hands bad. George ensures him that won't happen to him, since he won a contest.
- Catchphrase: "I DON'T WANNA BE A PIRATE!"
- Dressed to Plunder:
- Leslie’s fashion line is inspired by pirate clothing.
- Later the gang saw two poor men wearing the shirts and talking like pirates when asking them for money.
- Impossibly Tacky Clothes: The puffy shirt.
- Irony: The puffy shirts were given away to Goodwill (we actually see two poor men wearing the shirts asking for money). The same puffy shirts that a) Elaine considered to be too immodest for Jerry to wear on an interview promoting a charity event and b) were so incredibly tacky Jerry got heckled and Elaine fired from the Benefit Committee for him wearing them. Also, it was when he was asked for money by the two men that he considered the shirts didn't look so bad after all.
- Never Live It Down: Invoked by Jerry, Elaine and Kramer:
- The former mentioned he was humiliatingly heckled on The Today Show for wearing the puffy shirt. He (along with Elaine, Kramer and George) was further humiliated when two poor men wearing the same shirts asked them for money using pirate talk (Jerry gives them some money).
- She mentioned being fired from the Benefit Committee.
- The latter mentioned Leslie was finished because she saw all stores cancelling orders on her shirt and he was considering dumping her because her life was now a total mess. Also, all already produced copies were given away to Goodwill.
- Poor Communication Kills: Jerry agrees to wear Leslie's design - the puffy shirt - on The Today Show because he couldn't understand what she was saying for talking so low, nor did he have next to him the one person who could understand her - Kramer, who went to the bathroom -, so he (and Elaine) just kept nodding at her while she was talking, including when she asked if he would wear the shirt - which she interpreted as a yes. Because of how The Today Show is considered an effective tool for promotion, Jerry's Brutal Honesty about the shirt discourages potential buyers to reconsider, putting Leslie's career in jeopardy. Basically, if Leslie and Jerry understood each other better, the former would have found another means to promote her shirt because the latter would have turned her down.
- Rage Breaking Point: After Jerry’s badmouthing of the puffy shirt ruins her, Leslie finally snaps when George mocks the puffy shirt in front of her, unaware of her presence in the room, and shoves him, which puts an abrupt end to his career as a hand model when this causes his hands to be burnt by an iron.
- Suddenly Shouting: With Bryant Gumbel making fun of his shirt, Jerry tells him he inadvertently agreed to wear it and shares his real thoughts about it, promoting Leslie to shout "YOU BASTARD!!!", making it the first time Jerry heard anything she said.
- Talk Like a Pirate: The panhandler who gets Jerry’s puffy shirt.Argh, can you spare some change for an old buccaneer?
- The Unintelligible: Leslie speaks too low for Jerry to understand her. Everything that happens after was due to Poor Communication Kills.
- Unwitting Instigator of Doom: Kramer's poorly-timed bathroom visit ended up ruining everything for every other character in the episode. By not being around when his girlfriend asked if Jerry could wear the puffy shirt during his Today Show interview, Jerry was publicly humiliated on national television, Elaine was fired from Goodwill, Leslie's fashion designing career was torpedoed, and George's hand-modeling job ended before it began when she shoved him into a hot iron out of rage.
- Wham Line: After "The Contest" ended with Jerry and George still in the running, we finally learn George won, to huge applause, though "The Finale" reveals that he cheated, making Jerry the winner.
- Yank the Dog's Chain: George finds out he has beautiful hands, landing him a job as a hand model, a job that will be both lucrative and alluring to ladies. He loses it within hours when his hands are burned. And what's worse he didn't really do anything to deserve getting his hands burned. Sure he was rude about the puffy shirt but Leslie's reaction was way over the top.
