It's time for Sectionals, and without a rundown, we jump into the lounge where Will offers Emma two tickets, and no, they're not for her and Carl, he's inviting her as his plus one, saying she's their good luck charm. Will, we know you're a Dogged Nice Guy, but for shit's sake could you be any more obvious. Speaking of, Will tries to reveal their set list, not stolen thankfully, only for Emma to call it out: Finn and Rachel do a ballad and everyone else does a classic rock piece which ends with Mercedes belting out the last note. Clearly she watches the show. Will simply says he's just trying to hit the club's strongest points. Emma says that watching the kids performing Rocky Horror really made her see how talented all the kids are, essentially saying Will's gone complacent, and this causes the brain cells within Will's overgelled cranium to fire up as we cut to the choir room. Rachel, of course, goes right for the suggestions about the inevitable Finchel duet, only for Will to reveal a change in the lineup: Brittany and Mike will show off the moves to psych out the other teams, while the winners of the duets competition, namely Quam, get the duet. I'm shocked. Rachel pitches a bitch fit so deep she actually manages to straight up piss off Quinn. Quinn, clearly surprised by Rachel's behavior (and who more than anyone knows about Rachel's moods), reacts in kind, and will probably feel guilty about it afterwards. Why? We'll deal with that later. Will admits for all his usual platitudes he has stuck to the Strictly Formula, and resolves to change it. Rachel prompts Finn to try and convince Will otherwise, only for it to degenerate into arguing that leads to Santana spilling the beans about her and Finn last year. Will, clearly having enough, asserts himself as we hit the Title Card.
We cut to Dalton where new student Kurt enters his first Warbler meeting. He is presented with the mascot, a canary called Pavarotti; it's the new Warbler's job to take care of it. Kurt tries a joke, but it falls flat as we see one major difference between the Warblers and New Directions: No director, three upperclassmen run it. The meeting is called to order with the agenda being selecting the set list for Sectionals. Kurt attempts to offer a suggestion but is told the upperclassmen decide the song. Kurt sits chastised as he begins to suspect a different mindset is required for this group. Cut to Finchel in Emma's office for therapy. Rachel asks if it's true that he slept with Santana. Finn apologizes for lying but says that Rachel can be really terrifying. Thing is, Rachel could get if it was Quinn (they were dating before he found out he wasn't the father), but Santana, no mas. After rejecting the notion of a duet to get their feelings out (and now you know how dire things are), Emma asks Finn to explain himself. Finn tries to explain that he lied to protect Rachel, but her insecurities have bubbled to the surface and says Finn only slept with her because she was hot. Finn, trying pathetically to backpedal, agrees on the hotness. Finn, you're an idiot. Rachel rightfully storms out.
Cut to Artie rolling by an open classroom containing Brittany in a corner, supposedly paralyzed with fear. She, in her own way, feels that with her having to dance on stage, that the pressure's getting to her and she has self-doubt. Artie, clearly either manipulating Brittany's emotions or realizing she needs something to focus on, produces a magic comb that supposedly ensures that anyone who combs their hair with it can't fail. Cut to Puck in Will's office. Seems with Kurt gone, ND's down to eleven, and they need twelve to compete. Puck is therefore tasked with recruitment. We cut back to Dalton, where Blaine tries to comfort Kurt about being shot down. Kurt simply says it's a different energy, but Blaine says there's a custom of rewarding good attitude, so Kurt gets the chance to audition for a solo at Sectionals. Cut to the McKinley locker room, where Puck, either losing common sense, or figuring he'd get at least one or two good shots in, tries to recruit. The Titans respond with abduction. Cut to the choir room where ND wonder where Puck is before flexing their own egos in ways not shown before. The punchline is Rachel then entering with a taped mouth as protest. This causes Will to boil over and in one of the very rare times we see this, Will straight up ERUPTS at Rachel calling her and everyone else out on the egos. We then see Puck arrive, accompanied by one Lauren Zizes; turns out the Titans watched the Pilot and stuffed Puck in a portajohn and tipped it over, trapping him in there for a day before Lauren rescues him. him. He asks her to join Glee and she agrees for chocolate and seven minutes in heaven. Cut to Finn's locker where Santana, either grossed out by Zizes and Puck or found Brittany and Artie in that classroom take your pick, walks by and twists the serrated blade by sniping about how generous he was to her when they had sex. Fortunately for Rachel, Puck approaches and tells her that he's decided to be nicer to Jews, and senses that she's having troubles with Finn. He promises to help.
We return from break to Tina, dressed as a goth cheerleader, telling Artie that she thinks Brittany and Mike are secretly together. Artie rightfully dismisses her, as we all know where Brittany would be when not with him. However, Tina is undeterred, listing coincidences in a way that makes Artie contemplate, saying that the footballer/cheerleader attraction is too strong to overcome, hence why she's dressed as a cheerleader. Cut to Rachel in the auditorium as Kurt returns to now-enemy territory to ask Rachel for advice on an audition, pointing out the mutual dislike and the mutual respect. Rachel, figuring it'd be her only chance to sing for a while, accepts. He suggests the Titanic theme (you know the one), but Rachel, after venting some ego-tinged insanity, suggests something more personal. We then get a duet split between Kurt in front of the Warblers, Rachel in the auditorium. Afterwards, in the hallway, we see Kurt confident next to two nervous Warblers, Nick and Jeff. He asks them how many times they've auditioned for solos- three and six, respectively. Blaine emerges from the Council room and tells the other boys that they're on to the next round. Kurt's stunned. He asks Blaine for some advice for his next audition. Blaine basically tells him that he needs to try harder at fitting in, not standing out, because the Warblers work on the principle of 'the whole is better than the sum of its parts' and individuality isn't encouraged because they all need to work together.
Cut to Artie approaching Brittany, who won't look him in the eye. He offers for them to hang out, only for her to reject, citing rehearsals and making Artie feel perturbed. We cut to ND loading up as Emma approaches Will. Turns out, Carl, being a step ahead, asked Emma not to go so Will pouts forlornly. We return from break to Rachel badgering for Raisinets as it's the only way Zizes will perform. Kurt approaches and reveals he didn't get the solo; Rachel figuring if Kurt didn't get it then the Warblers are that good. She then rephrases and apologizes. Kurt says he does miss ND, realizing that being a Warbler caused him to reevaluate himself and that he feels he let ND down by leaving. Rachel says his safety is paramount over everything else. Kurt asks Rachel why she's nicer to him now than when he was in Glee, and she says it's because when he was at McKinley, he was her only real competition. They embrace, then Finn is brought up, Rachel saying that she hasn't spoken to him since she found out about him and Santana. Kurt's like 'Wait, you only found out now?' but Blaine drags him away before anything else can happen.
We start Sectionals 2010 with the Hipsters, an old-age version of New Directions, followed by the Warblers. However, the relevant part happens backstage after the break, as the egos begin to resurface. More drama ensues as Artie confronts Brittany on her cheating with Mike, and Brittany says that she never felt worse about anything in her life. Mike, obviously clueless about the whole thing, asks Tina what he's on about, and she calls him a jerk. Rachel bursts in and accuses Finn of telling Kurt about Santana... and it's revealed that everyone except Rachel knew. Santana says that no one tells Rachel anything because she can't keep her mouth shut and they only pretend to like her. Rachel says that she won't sing with Finn, and Artie and Tina say that they won't sing with Brittany. Will screams at them that he doesn't care if they hate each other, they just need to sing together. After we cut to Brittany poking her head out and seeing the crowd, Artie approaches her and asks why she'd cheat on him. Besides the obvious answer, it turns out that, shocking no one, she didn't. She thought 'adultery' meant to do something stupid, and she feels stupid because she lost the comb he gave her and she's convinced that it was their only chance to win. Artie tells her that the comb wasn't magic and she didn't need it because she's magic. Aw, if it wasn't obvious Brittany's only waiting for Santana to get her shit together and be with her, we'd call this cute.
Cut to Zizes prepping as Puck approaches; when he says he's got her back, Zizes asserts herself, saying show choir is stupid. Cut to Quam, Sam calling Quinn beautiful and Quinn still not used to being treated with anything resembling respect. They take their marks as the music cues. We get the two of them with some Dirty Dancing, followed by what could be considered Naya Rivera's Signature Song. Afterwards, we get the placings; for dramatic purposes plus the fact that a loss would negate the rest of the season, the Hipsters are third, and both the Warblers and New Directions are going to Regionals.
We start the home stretch with Will showing Emma the trophy. Unfortunately for Will, custom dictates that any high he gets must be deflated promptly, Emma reveals that the reason she couldn't go to Sectionals was because Carl took her to Vegas to put a ring on it. Will is shellshocked. Cut to Finchel, Rachel saying she told Will in the Pilot that being a part of something special makes you special, and while she forgot that, the Sectionals win brought that back. Finn asks if they're special, Rachel seemingly forgiving him for Santana as they embrace. Finn asks for no more lying. This bites him as Rachel reveals that in order to make him feel as bad as she did, she took Noah back to her place to make out. Whereas Finn and Rachel weren't together when Santana popped his cherry, they WERE together when Puckleberry made out, meaning Rachel cheated and thus giving Finn the slight, and I mean slight moral high ground. He properly and promptly dumps Rachel, and they will remain broken up until the end of the season. Rachel of course breaks down. Cut to Dalton where Kurt's called Blaine because he's worried that Pavarotti is sick- the bird is losing his feathers and he won't sing. Blaine reassures him, saying that Pavarotti's just molting, and he'll be just fine, citing the food, the water, and the fact that he appears to like his cage. Thus What Do You Mean, It's Not Symbolic? is now in play; seems Kurt swapped personal safety for a Gilded Cage. Tina, apparently having dropped the goth look, and Mike walk into the music room. She apologizes for doubting him, and they make up. Will walks in and after Santana expresses sympathy over Emma marrying the hot dentist, he offers Rachel a solo, but she passes it on to Mercedes and Tina, who proceed to wrap up proceedings with some Florence, intercut with scenes of Kurt and Pavarotti, Emma's new nameplate, Emma and the new hubby making out in her office, and Rachel taking out her shrine to Finn. They end the song with a group hug tinged with relevant emotions.
Next Time: Dr. Seuss, glee style.
Songs performed in this episode:
- "Don't Cry For Me, Argentina" from Evita, performed by Rachel and Kurt
- "The Living Years" by Mike + the Mechanics, performed by the Hipsters
- "Hey, Soul Sister" by Train, performed by Blaine and the Warblers
- "(I've Had) The Time Of My Life" by Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes, performed by Quinn, Sam and the New Directions
- "Valerie" by The Zutons, performed by Santana and the New Directions
- "Dog Days Are Over" by Florence + the Machine, performed by Tina, Mercedes and the New Directions
