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Quotes / Word-Salad Humor

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I'm jumping in the Pimento shower
I wanted the music first
In the evening square of the fresh prince
There went a perfect brown baby
The guards can see we're all out of weapons, no machetes
Lotion raw bruises
Lotion raw bruises
Drink, or sip
A wench at our hotel
Wolf government anchovies-when they laugh at you, you'll drown
Eye of the Sparrow
This girl slipped on my arrow
Jim Lehrer, "Eye of the Sparrow"

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I was once a treehouse, I lived in a cake, but I never saw the way the orange slayed the rake. I was only 3 years dead, but it told a tale, and now listen little child to the safety rail.
The Llama Song

"You know, whatever you guys are playing out there, that's nice for you to play when you've got the money, that's cool. But when you're down in the hard time, well you ain't got nothing but mine you sloppin' and moppin' with. You've got to deal with what you've got to deal from here, honey buns.... Oh my goodness, I've been carrying Linda Ding Dong across these little piggybacks on Rooviepoove. We're up with Mother Goose flying this whole world."
Charles Manson, 1997 parole hearing

See how gross young Popple, clammy. Yeah, rogue Nazis are fat, over-easy. Oooooh, you're faint weewee wah! Oh, your family are girly! Sheesh!
— from a reversed video of "His Cheeseburger" with subtitled lyrics

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I MADE YOU A SALAD... OUT OF WORDS!
Psycho enemies, Borderlands 2, summarizing 98% of their dialogue. note 

There's, like, twenty absurdities in that sentence.

Summoner 1 (Nautilus): just like that duo top got shut down
Summoner 2 (Blitzcrank): cause ur a camping little bitch naut
Summoner 1 (Nautilus): hey, if you fish a man a dead horse, he'll eat in rome
Summoner 2 (Blitzcrank): that's the most retardedd fuckking thing weve ever heard naut
The Summoner's Code, Exhibit 408

The Great Hall was filled with incredible moaning chandeliers and a large librarian who had decorated the sinks with books about masonry. Mountains of mice exploded. Several long pumpkins fell out of McGonagall. Dumbledore's hair scooted next to Hermione as Dumbledore arrived at school.

The pig of Hufflepuff pulsed like a large bullfrog. Dumbledore smiled at it, and placed his hand on its head: "You are Hagrid now."
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