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Narm in this fanfiction. Warning:
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- Shinso being an orphan with bad foster parents is such an overused trope in My Hero Academia fanfic in general, you just wish he had biological and/or loving parents here. At least it doesn't get much focus.
- Bakugo's descent towards a darker path, with new events causing him to reinforce his initial mindset rather than get better from it, is convincing at times and much less at others where he loses any nuance in favor of a cartoonish and exaggerated interpretation of him, out of the most classic Bakugo-bashing fics, to get his sub-plot moving. The most egregious example is when in front of his own parents, Nedzu and Hound Dog, he claims they should "worship the ground I walk on". Rather than think it is tragic how the butterfly effect is screwing him over and feel surprised or sorry for how this Bakugo is going bad, it rather feels like a Foregone Conclusion.
- Later on, having Bakugo kill Stain in rage feels like the only way there could have been some surprise in his otherwise very predictable arc.
- He gets little focus but it's clear the author is not interested in giving Mineta any chance, in a story whose supposed theme is attempting to make things better than they were originally. However rather than merely keeping him away from the Hero Course and therefore the main story, as he ends up placed in General Education through Nedzu's machinations, his perverted nature is exaggerated by making him look at Eri with openly lustful intent, irredeemable but also ridiculous. Later doubled down with Mineta callously outing a transgender student in public, which triggers his expulsion from UA.
- While it's understandable that Izuku would look for some respite after the frantic first months following the jump back in time, forgetting about Todoroki and his family situation for many months on end is too much and is given no solid explanation. It may even hilariously feel like Izuku was too busy with having gone from not being able to act on his feelings for Ochako in the old timeline, to having two girlfriends now.
- Similarly, after the early chapters Izuku shows a strange lack of interest and care in checking out how Bakugo is doing, despite Nedzu advising him about the Butterfly Effect and therefore the risk the new timeline could go wrong for Bakugo, which is exactly what happens. Izuku is even conveniently abroad when Bakugo's complete fall from grace in Hosu happens. It's like Izuku's relationships in the new timeline almost overwrote the old ones.
- The explanations to introduce changes in the designs of some costumes hinge on a combination of UA, especially Nedzu, being completely oblivious of any problems with support companies they worked with for years (like Momo's costume designer apparently having a questionable reputation already) until Izuku spoke up, no students ever protesting for having their requests ignored in past years, and the companies themselves running into issues, no matter how different, all at the same time. Ultimately, it feels like a mere excuse for a Take That! at the original designs.
- Even if future spin-offs clarified it was a dystopia dominated by paranoia, it may be still be difficult to take the idea of a timeline where Izuku was accused of treason, tortured, imprisoned and Driven to Suicide over his notebooks seriously.
- Once we are finally shown this world in the first chapter of The MHA Multiverse: Deep Dive, many characters are shown to have their faults exaggerated, such as Aizawa being a full-on corrupt, uncaring teacher towards 1-A and especially Izuku, Shinso taking advantage of his Quirk with such arrogance the stereotyping that hurt him in canon is completely justified here, Bakugo even proud of his past Suicide Dare to Izuku, and All Might being a quirkist asshole who is willing to imprison the 15 year-old Izuku in Tartarus to prevent information about One for All leaking (that other reason is revealed to be a cover, which is still flimsy and called out even within the story), all for the sake of moving the plot along and making Izuku as miserable as possible. The inaction of some characters is even harder to swallow when the chapter was published just as the manga was running a subplot about discrimination involving Shoji and Koda, who are apparently just passive in this. Even with New Game Plus setting up the idea of the MHA multiverse not being consistent, so that characters' personalities can wildly differ between timelines, how hard this universe leans into this idea to set nearly everyone against Izuku can be difficult to take seriously.
- From the same chapter, Ronri's slaughter of 1-A and the Pro Heroes that attempt to stop her is portrayed as serious as such an event would entail, save for the "fight" against Mirko, in which Ronri inflicts a Cruel and Unusual Death on the Rabbit Hero by cutting off her limbs one by one before decapitating her. What should have been a horrific moment is brought down by Mirko not reacting at all to the mutilations and merely attempting to keep fighting Ronri in a comedic manner, with her last words even being a Shout-Out to The Black Knight. All of this comes off as bizarrely out of place and a tone-deaf attempt at comedy during a dead serious moment.
- Also from that chapter, Izuku is in the Hero Course despite being Quirkless. While it's clearly implied it's also thanks to Nedzu's benevolence, nothing is done to show or even just explain how he managed to pass the entrance exam and how he keeps up with the other students, especially in such a hostile environment, and nothing is told about any feats during The Stations of the Canon like the USJ, the Forest Camp and the raid at the Shie Hassaikai base; not even if he uses support items to compensate for the lack of a Quirk. While helped by Bakugo and Todoroki being disqualified earlier, Izuku coming second at the Sports Festival, which should be treated as an amazing feat, is instead dismissed by the world at large to keep him the discriminated Quirkless underdog. It looks like the author couldn't find any convincing explanation and decided to basically Hand Wave all that aspect.
- The amount of suffering some characters go through both in their backstories and in the present is such that it may elicit annoyance rather than compassion at times, feeling like a cheap plot device to try and cause attachment to them. This is especially evident when, after several chapters spent getting better, Ai and Aoi go through new traumatic events, while several chapters of the Side Stories are spent breaking down Hanako in the past, present and even another timeline. Ronri is added to the count as more and more of her origin becomes known.
- While Hanako was shown to be much stronger and dangerous than she let on several times, nothing ever hinted at her being Singularity-level as All For One claims, with a level of strength that would make only a few others capable of challenging her. When she goes out of control in Hosu, however, it's treated inconsistently as even if Ochako dodges and tries to talk her down rather than fight, Hanako doesn't display the same speed and strength she used to demolish Kirishima just moments earlier.
- From Ronri: Origins:
- In this universe Izuku has One For All reaching singularity as early as USJ, unlocking Blackwhip and meeting the Vestiges, Yoichi commenting Izuku's gone Super Saiyan. The timing for such moment of levity is however quite inappropriate as Izuku has reached that level so quickly due to the pain and rage of seeing Ochako killed by Shigaraki.
- Mineta is expelled from UA with the general motivation that he panicked and acted recklessly at USJ, endangering other classmates and showing a lack of self-control that would make him a liability. It's however a stretch to consider him indirectly responsible for Ochako's death: while she ended up in Kurogiri's portal due to Mineta, the action in itself didn't cause direct harm to her, as she died later to save Izuku from Shigaraki. It's like blaming Mineta for not being there instead of Ochako, as she wouldn't have been in a situation where her bravery kicked in and caused what ultimately turned into a sacrifice.
- The drama of most of the spin-off stems from All Might and Nighteye becoming increasingly paranoid and irrational about Ronri having All For One's Quirk. At times it is convincing, especially knowing All Might's past experiences, but other times it feels like a big Conflict Ball thrown for the sake of getting the story running. You almost expect the two men to cover their ears and shout "I can't hear you!", so stubborn they are when other characters call them out on their actions.
- The genesis of Ronri's split personality is shown as Ronri, in the Vestige World, generating a second body by applying the Overhaul quirk to herself. While symbolic, the implication that she needed Overhaul specifically while it should be a purely mental and psychological process makes the scene very cheesy.
