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Literature / Rogue Agent

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"The technical term for your condition is 'thaumaturgical distillation.' The slang term is 'rogue.'

"You don't know anything of the sort," Reg said darkly. "because there's a great deal you don't know about me. I may be a sweet and harmless bird these days, sunshine, but when I was a queen I did more with men's unmentionables than poke them!" - Reg - being... well, Reg.

A series of fantasy novels by K. E. Mills starting in 2008. They involve the adventures of the unique, haphazard, First Grade wizard Gerald Dunwoody, the ultimate Deadpan Snarker Reg, Gadgeteer Genius Monk Markham, his sister Emmerabiblia Markham and the long-suffering Melissande. So far, the series includes, The Accidental Sorcerer, Witches Incorporated, Wizard Squared, and Wizard Undercover.

Events are set in motion by a thaumaturgical explosion at the staff-making factory Stuttley's causing Gerald to lose his job and considering he's a Third Grade wizard with a history of unfortunate mishaps behind him, it's going to be pretty difficult getting another position. Fortunately, his best friend Monk has connections and what can he find him? A job as Court Wizard in the kingdom next door! Unfortunately, things aren't quite what they seem in New Ottosland...


Gerald doesn't stay a Third Grade wizard though. That Stuttley's explosion somehow unlocked Gerald's true potentia. No one knows what he is exactly, not even Sir Alec of the Ottosland Department of Thaumaturgy. And when Gerald gets taken on as a janitor, he will have to be even more careful. He's a wizard alright. A rogue wizard.

The Rogue Agent series contains examples of:

  • Affably Evil: Lional through and through. Not to mention Parallel!Gerald.
  • Almighty Janitor: Janitor literally being the job title at the Ottosland Department of Thaumaturgy. They... clean up other people's mess.
  • And I Must Scream: In Wizard Squared, Parallel!Gerald has done some truly stomach-wrenching things. Like trapping Parallel!Sir Alec in an infinite time loop so that he burns to death forever.
  • Baleful Polymorph: Reg will never accept being a bird alright?! She was the Queen Dulcetta of Lalapinda! And still is technically, even if she got kicked off her throne a few centuries or so ago.
    • Tavistock, on the other hand, is anything but a Baleful Polymorph looking rather smug in being transformed from a cat into a lion.
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  • Break the Cutie: Oh, so much breaking, especially in Wizard Squared. Best have a box of tissues ready...
  • Cursed with Awesome: Gerald's new found even-better-than-First-Grade powers. Bolstered even more by the grimoire magic force-fed to him in Wizard Squared. May also be seen as a Blessed with Suck.
  • Heroic Sacrifice: In stopping a Brainwashed and Crazy Gerald from killing Monk, Parallel!Gerald burns Reg to death instantly.
  • It's All My Fault: Gerald has quite the habit of blaming himself for things even when there is absolutely nothing he can do about the situation.
  • Obfuscating Stupidity: Rupert so his brother Lional has no excuse to kill him. He's been hiding his true nature from everyone since the age of six.
  • OOC Is Serious Business: When Reg is quiet and doesn't bother arguing or making insults, you know something's very wrong.
  • Royals Who Actually Do Something: Melissande is probably one of the hardest-working royals out there, at one point single-handedly running an entire country on her own as its prime minister. Even after she gets to have her own life in Ottosland, running Witches Incorporated is no small task. And Reg is certainly not one to rest on her laurels either.
  • Really 700 Years Old: As a bird, Reg can't die of old age. She can die by other means, but as long as she is careful, she'll just keep on going.
  • Serious Business: You do not take the Ottosland Cake and Pastry Guild lightly. After all, it's one of the few things sufficiently well-bred gels are allowed to do without misogynist comments.
  • What Happened to the Mouse?: We don't quite know where Tavistock goes at the end of The Accidental Sorcerer. Presumably, one of the janitors comes along to deal with him. In Wizard Squared, Parallel!Gerald finds him cowering in Lional's room and turns him back into a cat.
  • World of Snark: Practically everyone gets the chance to be a Deadpan Snarker though Reg undoubtedly trumps them all in the amount of times she snarks, not to mention its sheer excellence.