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Funny / What We Do in the Shadows

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The Film

    The Film 
  • The vampires assigning each other chores, and Vladislav pointing out that Deacon hasn't done the dishes in five years in the tone of voice you'd normally use on someone who hans't done the dishes for just a few days.
  • The whole scene where the vampires are chasing Nick, but especially the cat with Vladislav's face, Viago's giddy laughter and Deacon somehow appearing (and getting stuck) in Nick's backpack.
    • The scene is perfectly accompanied with the goofy music played in the background that stops when Nick has locked himself in a room thinking he's safe, only to continue when Deacon starts to crawl out of his backpack.
      • Why did the music stop for just a moment? Because when Nick shut the door on Vladislav et al, he shouted "Fuck off!" The vampires stopped, because they were no longer invited through that door. Of course, Nick didn't say anything about them not coming to get him through his backpack...
    • And then there's their reactions to Petyr getting Nick. They're more disappointed, treating it as a Kill Steal. "Aw, man! Petyr got him…"
  • Speaking of invitations, the vamps trying to convince a bouncer to invite them into a nightclub so they can actually enter.
  • Viago demonstrating his lack of reflection by holding a cup in front of a mirror isn't funny in itself—but the Adorkable way he says "Oooooo, ghost cup!" makes the scene.
  • Running into the werewolves for the first time. Deacon mimes throwing a stick... and one of them runs off to find it.
    Angus: No, don't-don't go for it! It's not real.
  • The werewolves use anger management to keep from transforming at bad times. This includes not swearing and not getting worked up when the vampires trash-talk them.
    "We're werewolves, not swearwolves!"
  • The cops who come to investigate the screeching. Viago hypnotizes them to not notice anything unusual, so they have a pointed conversation with Vladislav (who is holding back a levitating Deacon, who is trying to get at Nick who is in the corner of the ceiling) about fire safety and the appalling lack of smoke alarms. They go down to the basement and chide them for leaving a dead vampire hunter in such an uncomfortable position, citing that he'll have a horrible headache when he wakes up from his bender, and that they should really put a blanket on him. Deacon wants to kill them, Viago wants to shoo them out because the hypnotism could wear off at any time, and Vladislav wants them to stay so they can find out what other safety violations they need to fix, then maybe kill them.
  • The entire sequence of Nick's trial by his flatmates is hysterical.
    • The vampires tell Nick he's banished "indefinitely", followed by a minute of them discussing whether it means "forever" or "undetermined amount of time". They agree that it does mean "a very long time" and settle on the details later.
    • There's something funny about the way the vampires tell Stu he's still okay to come over after they banish Nick.
    • Nick is subjected to the 'Procession of Shame'... which consists of all three vampires circling Nick, all while pointing at him and and saying "shame!" and "bad vampire!" in the tone you'd use to use to scold a dog . Nick never changes his stone-faced expression, and afterwards he calmly walks off with Stu, whom the others shyly bid goodbye to.
      • The fact that the Procession of Shame is treated as an extreme punishment considering it seems like something a high school student would come up with.
  • Vladislav's reason why vampires target virgins:
    "I think of it like this. If you're going to eat a sandwich... you would just enjoy it more if you knew no-one had fucked it."
  • When Stu has to introduce himself to a ballroom full of vampires (and at least one zombie), he mentions his job in software development in the same mumbling tone he uses whenever he has any dialogue. One of the vampires then cries out "He's a virgin!" and they try to eat him.
  • Sometime after becoming a vampire, Nick eats a chip. Vladislav then tells him in a deadpan fashion that he shouldn't have done that and the scene cuts to Nick vomiting blood. Obviously no-one told him that vampires have an aversion to salt.
  • Both Viago and Deacon have familiars who keep pestering them about becoming vampires. They always cut the conversation short whenever it comes up. Then Deacon's familiar goes and gets Nick to turn her.
  • Viago brings home a young woman he plans to feed on. They chat for a bit and she reveals her plans to study and go abroad. Viago clearly feels the weight of what he's about to do, but bites her anyway. He then gets sprayed in the face when he punctures an artery and awkwardly tries to contain the mess with his open mouth.
    • It happens again later in the movie when the vampires are trying to get Nick. As Nick runs back past the dining room, we see the other victim of the night is dead on the table...with arterial spray getting Viago again.
    • There is also the little darkly hilarious moment where Viago makes small talk with the young woman, who at this point is still unsuspecting about what he plans to do, and asks her to tell him a little bit about herself. When she mentions that she would like to go travel and see the world some day, his expression turns very guilty.
    • Not to mention the fact that while she's talking, he's laying down newspapers to catch the bloodstains, and she doesn't seem to think anything of it.
  • All the selfies Vladislav takes of himself in various poses after finally getting a camera, and centuries of having been unable to see his true face.
  • The Running Joke of how everyone just adores Stu is hilarious. The vampires like him so much that, even in the midst of banishing Nick from their flat, they assure him that he's more than welcome to stop by any time. During the brief timeskip, we see that Stu actually took them up on their offer.
    • Hell, even Pauline/The Beast seems to genuinely like Stu. Of course, she still fully intends to try and eat him.
  • "Just leave me to do my dark bidding on the internet!" "What are you bidding on?" "I am bidding on a table..."
  • Vladislav and Viago getting excited when Deacon and Nick turn into bats and start fighting. "Ooh, bat fight!"
    • And Deacon, in human form, grabbing Nick's bat self and pitching him into a garage door.
      • And then the other vampires getting mad at Deacon and saying that is cheating.
  • During the undead party there's a shot of dozens of vampires dancing and having a good time...and then the camera pans over to a mirror propped up against the wall, and the only people visible are Stu (a human) and a couple of zombies just standing around awkwardly.
  • The werewolves trying to chain themselves to trees to avoid going on a rampage, only to encounter problems like one of them not knowing the combination to the combination lock he'd bought (and when asked why he couldn't just use a regular lock, he says he kept losing his key).
  • The whole scene of Viago talking about his first love who got away from him and is now an old lady is mostly sad, and set to things like him wearing a piece of silver she gave him for a bit despite it burning him, mournfully watching her through the window of her apartment and eventually getting Stu to print out an old picture of her that he can tape to the inside of his coffin lid as he lies down so he can look at her at before he goes to sleep... Then we hear a suspicious knocking sound from within the coffin for a few seconds.
    • In the end Viago bites her and she is now a vampire too, and Viago comments that naturally, some people might comment on the age difference... between the 90-year-old woman and "the guy four times her age".
      Viago: They can call me a cradlesnatcher all they want, I don't care.
  • From one of the deleted scenes, Vladislav "paying" the bills through liberal abuse of his Compelling Voice:
    Vladislav: (talking on the phone) Hello, I'm calling regarding a telephone account; our latest telephone account... We have paid the account... Yes, and the call to Greytown? On the 5th of May? No such call ever took place... And also listed here is a call to Romania... It never happened... We do not owe anything on this account... Yes, that's right. Yes, okay, great! Thank you! Thank you. No, it's no problem. No problem, these things happen. (jump cut to next call) Regarding a electricity bill here... (reads from bill) For 36... For number 36, Marcus Street...? Yes? No, don't cut it off. We have paid the electricity bill... Yes. (evil cackle)

The Series

    Season One 
  • When Nandor talks about how his idea of dressing fancily up is to have glitter all over his face and body, "like in Twilight", Guillermo, a big fanboy of the Interview with the Vampire film, cannot help but put on a disgusted sneer, Nandor's familiar or not.
  • Laszlo and Nadja complaining about how the Baron only gives orders during sex, and only at the moment of climax, and then doesn't repeat himself. They also act it out.
  • Laszlo attempts to make an alliance with Barbara Lazarro by impressing her with raccoon population control. Cue the next morning where there is a huge pile of dead raccoons on Barbara's patio.
  • Nandor mind-controlling a member of the local city council to act as his puppet:
    Barbara Lazarro: This was a clear and direct threat to my well-being...
    Nandor: (Confession Cam) They laughed at me. They will not be laughing now that I am about to unleash my hell-hound, Doug Peters! ...son.
    Barbara: ...And to the safety of every member of this council.
    Doug Peterson: It is a grim portent of things to come if we don't surrender, you ignorant bitch.
    (the audience gasps)
    Barbara: What?
    Nandor: Yes, Doug Peterson...
    Doug: I will rip your head from your body. And I will hang your entrails from the traffic light on Hylan Boulevard so our new masters will see that only those who submit will survive!
    Barbara: Mr. Peterson, you are way out of order!
    • Also Colin being downright ecstatic about the whole thing:
      Nandor: Are you leaving with us?
      Colin: (shit-eating grin) No. I-I can't stand up right now. If you know what I mean. (laughs)
      Laszlo: (groans) Oh, god!
  • Colin and Evie's energy vampire duel:
    Colin: Evie Russell.
    Evie: Colin Robinson.
    Colin: (walks closer to Evie) Working late?
    Evie: (walks closer to Colin) I have to. I'm behind.
    Colin: I like your skirt. You should be careful, because mauve attracts bees!
    Evie: I was wearing this skirt when my sister got her cancer diagnosis!
    Colin: (starts hovering) Cancer isn't usually what kills you! It's the treatment!
    Evie: (starts hovering too) She was killed by a drunk driver! He was my fiancé!
    Colin: Violence often begins at home! Studies indicate—
    Evie: I've never HAD A HOME!
    Colin: (groans) Remind me to email you a link on a Slate article on the Millennial Housing CRISIS!
    Evie: (groans) I don't use email... ever since my computer was hacked and my identity was stolen!
    Colin: Hackers, featuring Jonny Lee Miller and Fisher Stevens is one of the few movies from 1995 THAT STILL! HOLDS! UP! (thunder clap)
    Evie: (moans) I was held up at gunpoint while waiting to see that movie! But they didn't take any money! THEY JUST DID IT FOR FUN!
    (both start screaming at each other)
  • How does Nandor win a fight with a gigantic werewolf? Distract him with a squeaky bone chew toy. And throw it over the edge of the building they are fighting on top of, where said werewolf jumps over to catch it.
  • After being rescued from animal control after being knocked unconscious as a bat, Laszlo says he has to go back for his animal brethren. Cut to the cats he was trying to rescue clawing and yowling all over him.
  • Laszlo's cape getting caught in the taxi cab door results in him getting dragged for a block.
  • Nandor pronouncing crepe paper 'creepy paper'.
  • Simon the Devious introducing his vampire crew the Leatherskins, and all their ridiculous names:
    Simon the Devious: Of course that's Big Vlad behind you, Abbadon, Empusa. We've got the Freak Sisters over there, they're two sisters and they are not related. That's Little Vlad, the guy's a fucking maniac! We've got Mister Fifties, we've got S, and that's because her name is Sarah. We've got Evil Steve, Freakfest Tony. Ah there he is, Blagvlad the Exsanguinator! And of course, the Silent One.
    The Silent One: (whispering) Hi.
    Simon the Devious: We keep going over there, we've got Asian Mike, and that's Chunt, Jane the Soulless, Elgrad the Fifth, Horvok the Pit Master, Gonthrapel and his brother Krylsac. It's Wesley Sykes, Desdemona the Shrieker.
    Desdemona the Shrieker: (inhuman shrieking noise)
    Simon the Devious: Yes. There's Len my accountant, and of course, Count Rapula.
    Count Rapula: Three hundred years livin' in New York, son. I didn't start rhymin' 'til 1991.
    Simon the Devious: Yes, he just started rapping in 1991!
  • All of the bender scenes in Episode 6. Special mention to Nandor's "drug blood" bit, throughout which Nandor is wearing a traffic cone on his head like a witch's hat.
    "We drank the blood of some people, but the people were on drugs, and now I am a wizard!"
    • He then goes on to sing a little ditty about it and flap his arms around.
      "I drank the drug blood, yeh, I drank some drug blood...
  • The Baron takes a bite of pizza. Cue projectile vomiting and being propelled by the vomit. The Baron cinches it by saying it was worth it.
  • The gang meet two folks who claim to have been prisoners in a single room for "over a thousand years" since...1932. When they hear it's 2019 and so only in there for 90 years, they moan on how this is worse then they thought.
  • The members of the vampire council. They actually managed to get Tilda Swinton, Danny Trejo, Paul Reubens, Evan Rachel Wood and... wait for it... Wesley Snipes to dress up like vampires and bicker. Mention is made that "Robert wanted to move beyond that stuff..." and "Keifer wanted to but wasn't available."
    • Danny complains that since Wesley is only half a vampire, he doesn't deserve a spot. Tilda plays peacekeeper, and Danny grumbles that he'll listen to half of Wesley's opinion. Wesley, meanwhile, is on a video chat with a glitchy connection, and is at least a minute behind everyone else.
  • While preparing for their orgy, Laszlo brings out some vintage vampire porn he starred in. Nadja tells him, "just throw it on the pile." Pan to a large pile of assorted sex toys and a gimp.
    Laszlo: Alright there, Constantine?
    Constantine: [waves in acknowledgement]

    Season Two 
  • Guillermo repeatedly stating how he doesn't want to be a vampire hunter, followed by a montage of vampires that he's killed in the last week or so.
  • The gang gets invited to a Superbowl Party, which they all interpret as a Superb Owl Party. It rapidly devolves into Nadja attempting to rob them, Colin using the party as an excuse to to drain a captive audience, and Nandor and Laszlo accidentally overhypnotizing the host into insanity. Meanwhile, Guillermo accidentally walks into a vampire hunter meeting, much to his visible and audible irritation.
  • After Guillermo's admittedly awesome vampire hunting rampage through the house, he escapes... Leaving every vampire in the building to turn to the film crew.
    Cameraman: Shit.
  • Meanwhile, in the same episode as Guillermo's vampire hunting, the trio get a chain email and freak out under the assumption that Nandor has actually cursed them all.
  • Colin Robinson's power grows so great that he can exhaust people with a single joke. Eventually, he drains so much power that he gains the powers of flight and multiplication.
  • The entirety of "On The Run". Due to an old debtor — a vampire named Jim, played by Mark Hamill — Laszlo moves to Pennsylvania for a week to become Jackie Daytona, regular human bartender, whose only differences from Laszlo are the toothpick in his mouth and his love of college volleyball.
    • Laszlo offhandedly explaining how he got the job as bartender:
      Laszlo: I took over Lucky Bruce's Bar and Grill. The previous owner, he mysteriously disappeared. (without skipping a beat) Because I killed him.
    • Laszlo's enemy Jim—not realizing "Jackie Daytona" is the vampire he's looking for—gives him a business card and says to call him if Laszlo turns up. When Laszlo thanks him by name, Jim suspiciously freezes and asks how he knew his name—turns out it was printed on the business card all along.
  • Colin Robinson becomes an Internet Troll in order to gain energy at a distance. He ends up getting counter-trolled by... An actual Troll, who dislikes the term "trolling", because he finds it offensive. Colin... just can't help himself and starts feeding on the Troll.
    Troll: It's an offensive term!
    Colin: Well, it's what it means, so...
    Troll: That's not what it means!
    Colin: It does mean that. If you want me to look it up in Webster's, and show you, I will. You're basically just a big—
    Troll: Don't say it! My being a troll is not related to my online-trolling!
    • Colin manages to bore the Troll for so long that he falls half-asleep and doesn't realize that the sun is coming up, causing him to turn to stone. What makes it hilarious is that the pixelation filter over the Troll's exposed genitalia quietly fades away when it happens.
    • Colin celebrates his victory... a bit too soon.
      Colin: Sorry, Freddie Mercury, but I am the champion! (lifts his arms in triumph and laughs)
      (the petrified Troll suddenly moves its arm and grabs Colin by his lifted arms)
      Colin: ...Shit!
  • Simon the Devious returns, seeking the cursed witch hat. He and Laszlo have a bat fight over it, but since the hat is cursed, they both end up getting injured whenever one of them grabs it.
    • Simon melodramatically explains how he escaped and reunited with Count Rapula:
      Simon: How did I survive, you ask?
      Laszlo: I didn't ask.
      Nadja: No one asked.
      Simon: I used what little strength I had and wandered the sewers of New York City, eventually connecting with Carol, who has been great. And then I found Rapula by sending him psychic messages...
      Count Rapula: (slightly peeved) Uh, you emailed me.
      Simon: And I emailed him as well. And now, it is to my great shame that you find me here!
      Nadja: In a sewer?
      Simon: In Staten Island!
  • When Guillermo discovers an exit from the witches' room of many doors, Colin Robinson keeps casually Stealing the Credit for said escape purely to annoy him. It is extremely effective.
  • Without the aid of Guillermo, the vampires are near-instantly reduced to ineffectiveness. Bodies are left scattered everywhere, candles are left in piles of melted wax, and the nightwalkers resort to wearing clothes such as sweatpants and jerseys because none of them knows how to do laundry.
  • Guillermo's reason as to why he quit being a familiar.
    Guillermo: I wasn't focused.
    (intense music plays as Guillermo polishes a sword right behind Nadja's head)
  • During the play, Nadja and Laszlo constantly complains that the actors performing as them aren't up to snuff and keeps doing stuff they would never do. An exasperated Nandor points out that they should be more concerned about the fact that the play is just the prelude to their deaths:
    Nandor: This is your hot take?! That you have a problem with the choreography!?


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