And he then warns Coulson that if he isn't given alcohol soon, he'll hijack The Bus, fly to Avengers Tower, and steal Tony Stark's.
Coulson and Loki on an overnight road trip from Georgia to New York City. That is all.
Loki is begin chased across time and space by his Darkhold-possessed future self, when he happened to come face to face with a very surprised and mind-screwingly confused Tom Hiddleston. All Loki (who has peaked beyond the fourth wall before and is aware of the existence of the Marvel Cinematic Universe) can think to say is "Love your work", and after he's gone, Tom starts reciting shakespeare as a form of Brain Bleach in order to preserve his sanity.
There are some chuckles stemming from the fact that one of his alternative lives is as Discord!
Rolling Thunder
Loki listening to a Queen CD on a continuous loop during the entire drive to Montana with Ward, much to the HYDRA Agent's annoyance.
The banter between Loki and Agent Triplett. All of it.
In The Bleak Midwinter
Coulson keeps a two story house on standby for Christmas Parties. According to Skye, it looks like something out of a John Hughes movie.
Skye: "Did someone at S.H.I.E.L.D. back in the day wonder if we'd ever need to do a stakeout at Shermer High?"
Coulson: "We've had Helicarriers, Skye. Invisible Jets. We've slummed in bad hotels and under dive bars. Is having a suburban, two-level Mc Mansion on standby really that out of character?
Loki is completely baffled by the concept of an Elf On The Shelf. He and Skye descend into Snark-to-Snark Combat over Earth and Asgardian holiday traditions.
Coulson's opinion on the subject of his French Onion dip: "If we end the night without breath that can kill an ox, then I have failed as both Director and party host."
Coulson tells Simmons that May's going to be late because her mom is in town.
Loki: "Well, I'm sure he'll try. Half the fun will be stopping him. The other half will be watching his tiny feet try to reach the pedals."
Coulson and Loki head for the spaceport.
Stitched
When filling out Loki's paperwork, Coulson is exasperated at the former supervillain's stubborn refusal to supply a last name, so he decides to get creative.
Coulson: "First name: 'Loki'. Middle name: 'Is A Pain'. Last name: 'In My Ass.'"
While Coulson was recovering from the initial side effects of his resurrection, Nick Fury managed to obtain a recording of the Hulk's memeticCurb-Stomp Battleagainst Loki. The temperature gets noticeably colder from there.
