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Funny / Skyfall

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"The whole office goes up in smoke and that bloody thing survives?"
  • From the car chase in Istanbul:
    [A wingmirror is knocked off]
    Bond: It's alright. You weren't using it.
    [Swerves to knock off the other one]
    Eve: Wasn't using that one either.
  • Bond getting shot by Eve. It was such a spectacular failure that it goes beyond being shocking and then becomes hilarious. There's also the fact that this happens a little over 10 minutes into the movie, so no one really expected him to actually die anyway.
    Eve: Agent down.
  • When Bond returns, he does so by once again breaking into M's home and waiting for her in the dark when she walks in. What's funny is when she turns the lights on, he squints in pain implying they were off cause of his hangover.
    • M, in full snark mode, gets a good barb in once she sees Bond's disheveled and inebriated state:
      M: Run out of drink where you were, did they?
    • James's dumbfounded look when M informs him, MI6 sold his flat after he was declared dead, as per standard protocol for "unmarried agents with no next of kin."
      Bond: I'll find a hotel.
      M: (walking out of the room) Well you're bloody well not sleeping here.
  • During Bond's assessment:
    Psychologist: Day.
    Bond: Wasted.
    Psychologist: M.
    Bond: Bitch.
  • After all Bond's been through, he still looks at his most pissed off following the explosion of his Aston Martin.
  • Silva's entrance via helicopter, loudspeakers blaring music like he's Colonel Kilgore. It's even more hilarious when you pay attention to the lyrics of the song which are horribly ironic in the context of the situation and the film.
  • Silva's interrogation of Bond, which deliberately comes across more like seduction.
    Bond: What makes you think this is my first time?
    Silva: Ooh, Mr. Bond!
  • During the above interrogation, Silva continues with the metaphor of the rats who eat other rats, telling Bond the first option is "We can eat each other" and then pauses to give Bond a hilarious look that says, "I'm well aware how dirty that sounded."
  • Just before Skyfall gets blown up:
    • Only James Bond could give a Pre-Mortem One-Liner to a house.
    • Even better is the fact that nobody is around to hear it, so he meant it.
  • After Bond throws a knife into Silva's back, Silva's reaction is more annoyance than anything else.
    • He almost rolls his eyes outright when Bond falls into the moor wrestling the henchman that was about to shoot him. "Does he have to make everything difficult? Forget it, moving on."
  • All the scenes involving M's porcelain Union Jack bulldog. Especially the Brick Joke, where this is given to Bond himself as part of M's will.
  • Bond's flabbergasted looks at the Komodo Dragon. Not even him being slung over his attacker's shoulder and flung to the ground can stop him from gaping at it.
    • Even better is that when he first notices the dragon, he apprehensively points at it, as if he's trying to tell the other guy (whom he's fighting) to watch out for it.
      • His line at the end after the mook is getting eaten by the Komodos: "Put it all on red. It's the circle of life."
    • When cornered on the archway by the "bodyguards," Bond pauses and looks around at them in a "oh, you three" manner before throwing down.
  • Bond, to pursue Silva, runs after the departing Tube train, leaps onto the back of the last car and gets the employee in the rear cab to let him in through her door:
    Bond: Health and safety. Carry on.
    • Then we cut to two passengers on the platform. The man quips, "He's keen to get home!"
    • Also, Bond's quasi-Punctuated! For! Emphasis! way of informing the driver to "Open. The door." while she's just staring at him slack-jawed.
    • Shortly afterward, Bond and Silva go zooming down an escalator railing, with Silva bellyflopping off the end into a crowd of bemused commuters.
    • Bond's staggering (but staying upright) after he jumps off the end generates a snicker or two.
  • The first meeting between Bond and Ben Wishaw's Q in the art gallery:
    Q: 007... I'm your new quartermaster.
    Bond: You must be joking.
    Q: Why, because I'm not wearing a lab coat?
    Bond: Because you still have spots (pimples)!
  • Also from that scene:
    Bond: A gun... and a radio. Not exactly Christmas, is it?
    Q: Were you expecting an exploding pen? We don't really go in for that anymore.
  • Q trying to break into Silva's computer, only for Silva's code to counterhack into MI-6's system instead.
    Text: Not such a clever boy.
    Q: ...Oh shit.
  • Another hilarious Bond/Q scene later as Bond pursues Silva into the Underground:
    Q: There should be a service door to your left.
    Bond: Got it. [Tries door] It won't open.
    Q: Course it will. Put your back into it.
    Bond: Why don't you come down here and put your back into it? [Sees train approaching and he's stuck in the tunnel, right in its path] Oh good. There's a train coming.
    Q: Hmm. That's vexing.
    Bond: [After shooting the lock and getting through the door just in time] I'm through.
    Q: *flustered* T-Told you.
  • Bond pursues Silva onto the Tube platform, but needs to know if he needs to board the waiting train if Silva is there.
    Bond: Train's leaving, do I get on it.
    Q: [scanning the cameras for Silva] Do not get on the train, give us a minute.
    [train starts to depart]
    Bond: Do I get on the train?
    [Q finds Silva aboard the train]
    Q: Bond?
    Bond: What?
    Q: Get on the train.
    [Bond eyerolls and immediately dead-sprints to hitch a ride]
  • Kincade shows off his shooting skills to Bond but Bond tells him to stay behind. Kincade's response?
    Kincade: Try and stop me, you jumped up little shit!
    • Especially when you remember the role was originally intended for Sean Connery... yes, that Sean Connery.
  • The revealing shot of Bond's classic spy car:
    Bond: We're changing vehicles. The problem with company cars is: they have trackers.
    [Bond opens a garage door to reveal his Aston Martin DB5]
    M: Oh, and I suppose that's completely inconspicuous.
  • While Bond and M are driving in the Aston Martin.
    Bond: "Are you going to complain the whole way?" (Opens the gear stick knob to reveal a red button).
    M: "Go on, eject me. See if I care!"
  • This bit:
    Bond: I read your obituary.
    M: And?
    Bond: Appalling.
    M: Yeah, I knew you'd hate it.
  • The following lines are funny, too:
    M: I called you an example of British fortitude.
    Bond: That bit was all right.
  • Just after a mook snatches Bond's signature, handprint-locked gun:
    Bond: Good luck with that.
  • Bond's reaction to Eve favouring desk work instead of resuming field duty:
    Bond: If it's all the same to you, I feel a lot safer.
  • Q and Tanner are secretly trying to lay a trail for Silva to follow Bond to Skyfall. Mallory shows up, they panic, and he tells them to carry on, even giving them advice (send the trail up the A9, a major trunk road, because they'll be able to track Silva with traffic cameras). The two are left in a state of shock. It's made all the better by the fact that Tanner's drinking throughout the entire scene.
    • Doubles as a retroactive Heartwarming Moment as it's the new MI6 team working together for the first time and trusting each other.
  • When Bond introduces M to Kincade, he hears her name as "Emma." She doesn't bother to correct him.
  • The poor Mook who gets dragged away by a Komodo dragon at the casino in Macau. It's quite all right, Komodos rarely eat people. But at the end of the scene, as Bond walks away, you can hear another loud howl of pain from the mook while the keepers go get him, who is being shown how much the dragon dislikes having his personal space invaded.
  • When Bond is at the Casino bar, he notices the girl making his drink is shaking the drinks without having to be told to. Bond smiles in contentment, muttering "Perfect."
  • "Welcome to Scotland."
  • When Q sits down besides Bond in the museum (which is the first time they meet each other), Bond is throwing a look at him as if thinking: "Who is that nerd?"
  • Bond raising his glass to the mooks in the background, after he has been told that they will try to kill him when he leaves the place.
  • When Eve shows up in Macau and Bond asks why she's been delegated to perform such a menial task as delivering paperwork to him, she mentions that "Q's afraid of flying." Bond mutters "Of course he is" under his breath. Bond been thoroughly unimpressed with Q so far and this just makes it worse.
  • Doubles as humorous Fridge Horror: Kincade tells Bond that they recently sold the Skyfall estate. Too bad it gets absolutely destroyed.
    • Kincade laments that the estate's gun collection had been sold mere weeks to someone from "Idaho or some such place."
  • The villains are blasting and shooting the estate to pieces. Silva then directs the helicopter to destroy the Aston Martin. As it explodes the score dramatically kicks back in and Bond's face falls into a hard stare. It's enough they shoot his boss, blow up his home and try to murder him but the car is just too much.